I'm drunk and high at noon. I'm 19. This is a daily occurrence, whether I'm skating or not. I dont even know which end is up at this point. I saw one of my best friends get stabbed and bleed out about a year and a half ago. It was the most horrifying thing I have ever seen, and I will never ever even begin to get over it. Not a day goes by that i dont see it in my head. I cant make it stop no matter waht i do. Soon after, I broke my hip and ankle skating, which took me out for close to a year, during which time I couldnt work, and inevitably lost my two jobs, and kicked off the fucking shitty shop team (i was kind of proud of having a "shop sponsor" to be honest) I have developed crippling anxiety and have fallen into a deep, seemingly neverending spiral of depression. This all has put me in a very dark place. I feel incapable of anything. I got denied scholarship for the next semesters due to my gpa's dramatic slip, and i dont even feel like I care at this point. im living with my gf trying to figure my shit out. Everyday when i wake up, it feels like i am tied up and gagged on a 747 spiraling into a mountain range. I dont know how Im going to get up to the cockpit and regain control. And even if i do regain control, what the fuck am I gonna do with a 747? where do i go? how do I land? do I even care if this crashes anyway? I dont know. stupid post. regardless, feels good to say all that stuff. I dont know what to do
Topic: real confessions (Read 1975068 times)