real confessions

[tobey]

I'm trying really hard right now. I signed up for classes at a community college, I'm looking into joining an adult baseball league and yoga classes, I called a lot of people in an effort to be social, and I vowed I would start skating regularly again. I don't know that it will help, butt fuck it, I'm putting everything into not being a piece of shit any more. I may be just having a manic episode, but I'm trying my hardest to keep it going. I've already been knocked down a few times today. In those moments the overwhelming sadness and suicidal ideations were nearly unbearable, but after an hour or so I've been able to recover and keep mostly positive. This is probably the longest time I've ever been optimistic.

YOU CAN DO IT LEET!! i took two summer classes this summer and i just got done the second one today, passed my first one and im pretty sure i passed this one, but if i can do it you can do it. I brought my laptop with me in every class and if i felt like a panic attack was coming i would just play arcade games on there so i suggest you do that it helps

[JB]

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This place is a shithole but it fills gaps in my day though. I find many of the people who post here insanely misguided and have been poking the hornets nest. So thanks for providing me with some comedy throughout the day.

[close]

The people who post in this thread? Or Slap in general?

[close]

Slap in general. There are a lot of great people here, but there's also a ton of fucking morons.

why i stay out of UWTB for the most part.

[ill_Murray]

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This place is a shithole but it fills gaps in my day though. I find many of the people who post here insanely misguided and have been poking the hornets nest. So thanks for providing me with some comedy throughout the day.

[close]

The people who post in this thread? Or Slap in general?

[close]

Slap in general. There are a lot of great people here, but there's also a ton of fucking morons.

[close]

why i stay out of UWTB for the most part.

That's just the human race for you. 

[pinche gringo]

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This place is a shithole but it fills gaps in my day though. I find many of the people who post here insanely misguided and have been poking the hornets nest. So thanks for providing me with some comedy throughout the day.

[close]

The people who post in this thread? Or Slap in general?

[close]

Slap in general. There are a lot of great people here, but there's also a ton of fucking morons.

[close]

why i stay out of UWTB for the most part.

[close]

That's just the human race for you. 

It's almost like a microcosm of the real world...

[L33Tg33k]

I'm super smart. I actually plan on getting the credits for the classes I registered for this time.

[ROCKxADIO420]

also super smart here

[ice nine]

ah arcade games on a laptop the ol cosmic panacea

[Bronson]

I am also a very smart man these days. Despite of that, the girl I lost my virginity to a few days ago just sent me the "we need to talk"- text message. Oh well, I hope it won't be another 26 years.

[L33Tg33k]

I am also a very smart man these days. Despite of that, the girl I lost my virginity to a few days ago just sent me the "we need to talk"- text message. Oh well, I hope it won't be another 26 years.

LOL. You already won when you got in her pants, though. She should take the loss with some dignity.

I'm supposed to meet people in Vegas this November. I'm pretty sure there are a couple females planning to sex at me over there. I'll be 26 too by then. The thing is I'm not attracted to either one of them at all. Don't think I could get an erection if I wanted to.

[JB]

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I am also a very smart man these days. Despite of that, the girl I lost my virginity to a few days ago just sent me the "we need to talk"- text message. Oh well, I hope it won't be another 26 years.

[close]

LOL. You already won when you got in her pants, though. She should take the loss with some dignity.

I'm supposed to meet people in Vegas this November. I'm pretty sure there are a couple females planning to sex at me over there. I'll be 26 too by then. The thing is I'm not attracted to either one of them at all. Don't think I could get an erection if I wanted to.

post pics of the girls.

[L33Tg33k]

She's bigger in other photos and she has kids. The other one has only head shots at odd angles and also has kids.

Point is, they make better sisters than lovers.

[dillanharp]

Fuck that, you plow, and you plow hard.

[L33Tg33k]

Ain't plowin nothing without a hard tool.

[Early Hokus Pokus]

I would hit that.

[perverted super otaku!]

Ain't plowin nothing without a hard tool.

Can pretty much guarantee everyone here has been made hard by a girl they don't find attractive, at all lol

[@thewilleasley]

Ain't plowin nothing without a hard tool.

i think you're just self-sabotaging yourself & leaving the door open for you to not do shit and take advantage of the situation. All this talk about how you wanna get out & do shit etc. and now you gotta trip to vegas lined up with the potential for a "happy ending" and now you wanna act all high and mighty about not wanting to bang a fat chick. Come on now fam, let's get 110% real here, you're not in prime physical shape your damn self so it'd be ridiculous to act like you're too good for her. bet if she made you laugh a couple times and put her hand on your dick you'd be hard as a mf! Just go into the shit looking for a good time & try to enjoy yourself, instead of coming up with reasons why you SHOULDNT enjoy yourself. Just keep asking yourself "how much better can it get?" throughout the night and i BET you end up having a blast.

you know its all love over here man I'm rootin for ya but I can't cheer from the sidelines without calling you out on your bullshit as well from time to time. Go have a great time in Vegas and stop being a picky. What's that term smokecrack always says? Snootydick? yeah, don't be a snootydick. Beggars don't get to be choosers until they aren't beggars anymore, ya feel me? even if yall just kissed while sloppy drunk & did nothing else I'm sure it'd still do wonders for your self-esteem. progress is progress.

P.S. dont post pictures of girls you're talking to or anything like that. you know these internet lames thirsty as hell for that shit but nah man, trust me, it aint a good look anywhere outside of SLAP lol.

[paraquat]

flirt with them and (try to) build chemistry. Has worked for me with the "bigger" ladies. If you can't (get hard), just focus on making them cum. Once you bring a woman to orgasm, you own them (for a while).

Yes, the parentheses are a subliminal attempt to help you.

[L33Tg33k]

I'm not acting high and mighty. I'm not attracted this person plain and simple. Besides, a dude being over weight isn't the same as a woman, that's just the way of the world. Not to mention that I'm relatively good looking according to the internet anyway (yeah I went there). There are tons of women men generally find attractive that I don't and it's always been that way for me. We'll hang out, possibly get high, drunk, and she'll possibly make a move. My actions will be completely dependent on whether or not my penis retreats into my body. A distinct possibility.

[Early Hokus Pokus]

Tough crowd

[Bronson]

I'm not acting high and mighty. I'm not attracted this person plain and simple. Besides, a dude being over weight isn't the same as a woman, that's just the way of the world. Not to mention that I'm relatively good looking according to the internet anyway (yeah I went there). There are tons of women men generally find attractive that I don't and it's always been that way for me. We'll hang out, possibly get high, drunk, and she'll possibly make a move. My actions will be completely dependent on whether or not my penis retreats into my body. A distinct possibility.

You can always explore her in other ways, its fun too.

So, the girl dumped me. It fucking sucked.

But the strange thing was, 5 minutes after she did it, a girl I used to go out who I have not heard from in ages texted me to see if I wanna get together. Really strange, maybe she has been stalking me all this time.

[fulltechnicalskizzy]

If I were to fuck a 50 year-old black woman I think I'd probably cum in her Goddamn face! Idk tho.

[shark tits]

i find jigsaw attractive. [not the old man w/ cancer, the puppet who rides the tricycle]

[L33Tg33k]

If I were to fuck a 50 year-old black woman I think I'd probably cum in her Goddamn face! Idk tho.

She's Dominican. African, Spaniard, and probably native blood.

[Rick Pump]

Ain't plowin nothing without a hard tool.

Perhaps I can help you. The clue is in my name.

[Early Hokus Pokus]

I've never seen anyone hesitate so much to get some ass. Try some males then.

[smokecrack]

I've never seen anyone hesitate so much to get some ass. Try some males then.

daaaaaaaamn

[perverted super otaku!]

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I've never seen anyone hesitate so much to get some ass. Try some males then.

[close]

daaaaaaaamn

ahahaha!

[L33Tg33k]

Yeah, what a zinger. I'm not attracted to a some woman so I must be attracted to every man. The logic is unimpeachable. Also, being homogay is very bad and I should be insulted at the suggestion.

[Early Hokus Pokus]

Yeah, what a zinger. I'm not attracted to a some woman so I must be attracted to every man. The logic is unimpeachable. Also, being homogay is very bad and I should be insulted at the suggestion.

Mate, all I'm saying is you don't need to marry her or find her attractive. Get drunk enough to get the deed done and then go after the women you find attractive.

[shark tits]

fell out today. it wasn't a legit 'OD' cause i didn't have to get NARCAN'd back to life but was kinda scary [in retrospect]. i was running up that hill like kate bush and my skate got too heavy and fell. then i did that 'bend at the waist' junkie stance but ended up falling forwards on my knees. kept on falling. some peurto rican guys dragged me out the road and put my skate next to my head. after 10 minutes [estimation cause i was awake/asleep/awake/asleep] and they said 911 was en route so i collected myself and walked up the hill a little more. firetruck shook me down almost to my road.
'you can talk to us or the cops'
i chose neither and dipped home, hoping i didn't fall back out.
i'm melancholy all the time but never trying to die. kinda bothers me that i'm still flippant about it. when i was in my 20s i usedta go for broke a lot but i'm trying to live these days. seen a lot of friends die so i'm not in a rush anymores. mostly disappointed in myself and my friends always look at me fucked up when i get jammed even though they all drink. shit, i was a million times worse when i was drinking next to them but her'on has a negative stigma.