real confessions

[Bronson]

Sometimes I get kind of nostalgic and get a glimpse of some old memory when I felt really good and than I start wondering like "oh shit, when was the last time I felt that happy?". But than I think that it might be just that time makes a lot of things look better. Its pretty annoying.

[abudabi]

only been sober for about 2 months (from drinking and being stoned all the time) and im pretty fucking over real life
being fucked up all the time sucks tho too so im probably just doomed to some kind of unsatisfied fate

[Rusty_Berrings]

maybe try blow... it's gonna make you wanna drink tho.

[nice_guy_2]

Sometimes I get kind of nostalgic and get a glimpse of some old memory when I felt really good and than I start wondering like "oh shit, when was the last time I felt that happy?". But than I think that it might be just that time makes a lot of things look better. Its pretty annoying.

I dont think so, life can be great and you can feel happy (again) you just need to do your best to make it happen. That's why life is so unfair, people live lives that are incommensurable to others. Incommensurable is my sean pablo word of the day, it means "not able to be judged by the same standards". So basically try your hardest to be happy, it's the only logical thing to do! #YOLO

[shark tits]

maybe try blow... it's gonna make you wanna drink tho.

good point although if you're on benzos you can come down off coke w/out drinking. once i got trapped in the slums of memphis smoking crack all night w/ this guy and his tranny gf [bf?] and i had nothing to come down, that was a miserable coke hangover!
nice guy 2, what happened? you're sposedta be a bad guy. is this like in wrestling when the heel starts getting cheered for he starts acting like a hero and not using his manager 'mr fuji' to cheat his way to victory?

[abudabi]

maybe try blow... it's gonna make you wanna drink tho.

hahaha thank u for the solid advice.

[ill_Murray]

only been sober for about 2 months (from drinking and being stoned all the time) and im pretty fucking over real life
being fucked up all the time sucks tho too so im probably just doomed to some kind of unsatisfied fate

I'm stoned from the time I get up until the time I go to bed.  I hate being sober.

Edit: I mean that it's a bad thing.

[nellop]

i really really really really really suck at skating. 

[Rusty_Berrings]

i really really really really really suck at skating. 

what makes ya say that?

[nellop]

it's really stupid and i kind of regret even saying that. because i really really enjoy skateboarding, when i actually am rolling, kickflipping, grinding, or slamming. I pretty much stopped skating for like 6 years for reasons that I really regret, and didnt really feel like were in my control at the time (even though in retrospect they were). most of the self-discouraging shit comes from me beating myself up when i get really really stoked on skating like i am now. since i just graduated college in august, i am looking for where i want to get a job. and i keep looking at jobs and what city they are in and do all this research about skateparks, skateshops, spots, weather, etc. and then i start thinking like "fuck, i really am not that good at skating, and have abandoned it before, i always stick on my noseslides for christ sake, so why would skating even be a factor about where i would live." i know that it is bullshit, but its good for me to confront it and work through whatever mental blocks i have about caring about skating so i can keep rolling, because i know that is what i want.

so whoever read that, thanks. it actually did help just to write what i'm thinking about and knowing that someone might read it.

[pinche gringo]

it's really stupid and i kind of regret even saying that. because i really really enjoy skateboarding, when i actually am rolling, kickflipping, grinding, or slamming. I pretty much stopped skating for like 6 years for reasons that I really regret, and didnt really feel like were in my control at the time (even though in retrospect they were). most of the self-discouraging shit comes from me beating myself up when i get really really stoked on skating like i am now. since i just graduated college in august, i am looking for where i want to get a job. and i keep looking at jobs and what city they are in and do all this research about skateparks, skateshops, spots, weather, etc. and then i start thinking like "fuck, i really am not that good at skating, and have abandoned it before, i always stick on my noseslides for christ sake, so why would skating even be a factor about where i would live." i know that it is bullshit, but its good for me to confront it and work through whatever mental blocks i have about caring about skating so i can keep rolling, because i know that is what i want.

so whoever read that, thanks. it actually did help just to write what i'm thinking about and knowing that someone might read it.

You don't have to excel at something to justify enjoying it. Millions of people are shitty golfers and it doesn't stop them. Enjoy your life.

[nellop]

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it's really stupid and i kind of regret even saying that. because i really really enjoy skateboarding, when i actually am rolling, kickflipping, grinding, or slamming. I pretty much stopped skating for like 6 years for reasons that I really regret, and didnt really feel like were in my control at the time (even though in retrospect they were). most of the self-discouraging shit comes from me beating myself up when i get really really stoked on skating like i am now. since i just graduated college in august, i am looking for where i want to get a job. and i keep looking at jobs and what city they are in and do all this research about skateparks, skateshops, spots, weather, etc. and then i start thinking like "fuck, i really am not that good at skating, and have abandoned it before, i always stick on my noseslides for christ sake, so why would skating even be a factor about where i would live." i know that it is bullshit, but its good for me to confront it and work through whatever mental blocks i have about caring about skating so i can keep rolling, because i know that is what i want.

so whoever read that, thanks. it actually did help just to write what i'm thinking about and knowing that someone might read it.

[close]

You don't have to excel at something to justify enjoying it. Millions of people are shitty golfers and it doesn't stop them. Enjoy your life.

that is a really good point. thanks for the support.

[shark tits]

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it's really stupid and i kind of regret even saying that. because i really really enjoy skateboarding, when i actually am rolling, kickflipping, grinding, or slamming. I pretty much stopped skating for like 6 years for reasons that I really regret, and didnt really feel like were in my control at the time (even though in retrospect they were). most of the self-discouraging shit comes from me beating myself up when i get really really stoked on skating like i am now. since i just graduated college in august, i am looking for where i want to get a job. and i keep looking at jobs and what city they are in and do all this research about skateparks, skateshops, spots, weather, etc. and then i start thinking like "fuck, i really am not that good at skating, and have abandoned it before, i always stick on my noseslides for christ sake, so why would skating even be a factor about where i would live." i know that it is bullshit, but its good for me to confront it and work through whatever mental blocks i have about caring about skating so i can keep rolling, because i know that is what i want.

so whoever read that, thanks. it actually did help just to write what i'm thinking about and knowing that someone might read it.

[close]

You don't have to excel at something to justify enjoying it. Millions of people are shitty golfers and it doesn't stop them. Enjoy your life.

[close]

that is a really good point. thanks for the support.

god bless man, keep rolling. pinche gringo knows what's up. for what it's worth, i still stick on noseslides. or go to accidental feeble on 5050s. primo on kickflips, etc. the fact that we [ahem, most of us] take part in the activity we obsess over is incredible by proxy. what i mean is, you're a skater, you skate, that's what you're sposedta do. but there's millions of men and thousands of women who haven't tossed the old pigskin around in decades but watch that shit on tv and dress like they watch that shit on tv. people run the gamut from einstein and rodney mullen to bums like me and worse. i expect us to skate but society or humanity as a whole is a bunch of lazy, uninteresting, uninterested, living breathing water receptacles.
don't let it go again, skating rewards you for sticking w/ it.

[abudabi]

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only been sober for about 2 months (from drinking and being stoned all the time) and im pretty fucking over real life
being fucked up all the time sucks tho too so im probably just doomed to some kind of unsatisfied fate

[close]

I'm stoned from the time I get up until the time I go to bed.  I hate being sober.

how much do u smoke? i was going thru a quarter every 2-3 days.
main reason i stopped was cause i hated having to concentrate to remember what i was just thinking about.
the paranoia and cost of smoking that much is pretty shitty. i dont think i have the personality for it to work for me.

[ill_Murray]

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only been sober for about 2 months (from drinking and being stoned all the time) and im pretty fucking over real life
being fucked up all the time sucks tho too so im probably just doomed to some kind of unsatisfied fate

[close]

I'm stoned from the time I get up until the time I go to bed.  I hate being sober.

[close]

how much do u smoke? i was going thru a quarter every 2-3 days.
main reason i stopped was cause i hated having to concentrate to remember what i was just thinking about.
the paranoia and cost of smoking that much is pretty shitty. i dont think i have the personality for it to work for me.

I'd say I smoke about 10 grams a week of bud and about 2-3 grams of wax or oil or some other concentrate.  I hate that I smoke this much but the feeling of sobriety is just so shitty and it keeps my IBS from acting up so fuck it. 

[abudabi]

i feel you on hating smoking a lot.
maybe try to cut back to the minimum amount that still keeps your IBS symptoms at bay?
being sober is definitely annoying as hell, it has its upsides tho. i feel way more confident when im not smoking weed, tho its nothing like the confidence booze brings me.

[Rusty_Berrings]

damn that's a lotta ganja. a q lasts me at least two weeks and wax will last me forever cuz i just tip my cigarettes with it.

[nellop]

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it's really stupid and i kind of regret even saying that. because i really really enjoy skateboarding, when i actually am rolling, kickflipping, grinding, or slamming. I pretty much stopped skating for like 6 years for reasons that I really regret, and didnt really feel like were in my control at the time (even though in retrospect they were). most of the self-discouraging shit comes from me beating myself up when i get really really stoked on skating like i am now. since i just graduated college in august, i am looking for where i want to get a job. and i keep looking at jobs and what city they are in and do all this research about skateparks, skateshops, spots, weather, etc. and then i start thinking like "fuck, i really am not that good at skating, and have abandoned it before, i always stick on my noseslides for christ sake, so why would skating even be a factor about where i would live." i know that it is bullshit, but its good for me to confront it and work through whatever mental blocks i have about caring about skating so i can keep rolling, because i know that is what i want.

so whoever read that, thanks. it actually did help just to write what i'm thinking about and knowing that someone might read it.

[close]

You don't have to excel at something to justify enjoying it. Millions of people are shitty golfers and it doesn't stop them. Enjoy your life.

[close]

that is a really good point. thanks for the support.

[close]

god bless man, keep rolling. pinche gringo knows what's up. for what it's worth, i still stick on noseslides. or go to accidental feeble on 5050s. primo on kickflips, etc. the fact that we [ahem, most of us] take part in the activity we obsess over is incredible by proxy. what i mean is, you're a skater, you skate, that's what you're sposedta do. but there's millions of men and thousands of women who haven't tossed the old pigskin around in decades but watch that shit on tv and dress like they watch that shit on tv. people run the gamut from einstein and rodney mullen to bums like me and worse. i expect us to skate but society or humanity as a whole is a bunch of lazy, uninteresting, uninterested, living breathing water receptacles.
don't let it go again, skating rewards you for sticking w/ it.

thanks dude. you're definitely one of my favorite posters, thanks for the encouragement.

[nice_guy_2]

@nellop confession was that you wanted to quit skating cause you can't keep up with standard of 2014..............

what




the




fuck



kind






of




confession



is






that

[Rusty_Berrings]

And what exactly is "the standard of 2014"? No comply tricks, bonelesses and wallrides on oddly shaped boards? Tech miniramp skating?

Dude said he can kickflip and grind, that's good enough to stay skating in my opinion.

[nellop]

nice guy_2 all it would take to read my confession is scroll up approximately half a page...i didn't say that. i just admitted to feeling like i sucked at skating and then elaborated on why when queried about my statement. in fact i explicitly stated that I intend to keep skating and that i enjoy actually skating, contrary to your interpretation.

i'm not really sure what your problem with my confession is. maybe that it doesn't involve enough STD's, incest, Chris Dobstaff idol worship, pant-shitting, infidelity, blood sacrifice, larceny, bestiality, or premature ejaculation.

[abudabi]

tonight i was bummin real bad so i think fuck it im gonna go buy some weed after not smoking for 2 months
so i head over to an old acquaintances to buy a couple grams
i get to the place and i can hear music n people laughing n shit so i knew people were partying
pound on the door, wait a couple minutes, no one answers
knock on it again, some random dude comes down and lets me in
i walk in, first thing i see is the girl i was whining about earlier and her boyfriend chilling, i dont say a word to em
the girl just gives me some kind of death stare
she knew i was there to grab and i told her i quit smoking (which was true at the time i said it)
so now shes just gonna think i lied to avoid seeing her cause we mainly just smoked together
this doesnt sound bad at all after i write it down but im still pretty hurt over how shits gone between me and her
i had some bullshit dream the other night where i saw her and... its hard to explain but the dream was just a fucking bummer
im trying to get over this girl and im doing a really bad job apparently
now im just embarassing myself in here

[L33Tg33k]

I was in the looney bin for four days. I thought if I went in there with a positive attitude, willingness to participate, and made myself talk to people, it could possibly be a good experience for me this time. It was a mistake. There were a couple of very hostile patients and the coping exercises were asinine. I have no interest in doing arts and crafts and I could never get a word in edgewise in any group meeting. Also, they had the nerve to start getting shiesty with the juices. Just give me the only thing that I enjoy, you sonsabitches!

[AnotherHardDayAtTheOffice]

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Dear SLAP,

I've been together with my girlfriend for almost 8 years now(I am 26 now). We lived together for 6 of them. Now she's living in Berlin and I live in CPH, which hasn't been big of a problem for the past year. We saw each other at least every 4 weeks and got the whole thing figured out. Went to NYC on summer vacation and so on. I was planning to move to Berlin as well.
All of a sudden she tells me that she doesn't know what to thin about us... I really want a genuine answer but she can't. She needs time to think she says, which makes the situation even worse.

Since I've never been in a situation like that I don't really know how to cope with it.
SLAP always knows the answer.
Anyone been in a situation like that? Breaking up would be the worst. We share all of our good friends with each other... How will life even go on...

[close]

oh my GOODNESS dood buckle up, you're in store for one seriously emotional rollercoaster and you'll probably sink into feelings you've never experienced before.

Soon all those sappy love songs on the radio are about to make a whole lot of sense.

BUT!!!!

i think this kind of thing needs to happen to everybody at least once in their lifetime.
prepare to feel extremely alive as you enter one of the hardest experiences a human can go through

[close]

This.

[close]

We just broke up. And now I know what talked about.
Even thoug it hurts, I feel better now than before. Now I know where I stand and will have to move on.

I guess that puts us in the same boat then... Me and my girlfriend also just broke up. We've had an extremely easy-going and pleasant relationship for one and a half years. She went to Colombia for a study abroad semester two months ago and I just got to the USA for my new work last month (I'm going to be here for a year). We decided to stick through with it and stay together, because we were so close and loved each other a lot for more than a year. About three weeks ago she came up with the notion that a long distance relationship really does suck. I didn't give it many thoughts, but today we broke up, because she said she kinda stopped loving me due to the distance. Needless to say, the same doesn't apply to me...

She was the first real love of my life and this sucks. I'm in a new place and although I've met some people already, we're not yet close enough to talk about serious stuff like that. At least not in great detail. All of my close friends live in Europe and there's a nine hour time difference.

I know what all you guys are talking about though. It sucks, but at the same time I feel very much alive. Candygirl also has it just about right: "Now I know where I stand." I don't have to worry about my future as much anymore. I'm free to go wherever I want now.

While I know that I'm gonna handle this in a mature way and won't start drinking excessively, I'm not sure how to go on with her. I appreciate that she was very honest and upright with me and never fooled me. I'm not gonna be mad at her for that reason. We have a lot of mutual friends and we're from the same area. However, I'm not sure whether to talk to her on Skype anymore or not. For the reasons stated above, there's not a whole lot of people I can talk to and it just feels good talking to her. However, I have to move on at some point and she ditched me. Should I stop talking to her on Skype immediately or go on doing it as long as it feels good? I'm definitely going to stay in touch with her, as I'm not going to be a sorehead, but I'm not sure whether I should rather exchange emails. Advice?

[AnotherHardDayAtTheOffice]

it's really stupid and i kind of regret even saying that. because i really really enjoy skateboarding, when i actually am rolling, kickflipping, grinding, or slamming. I pretty much stopped skating for like 6 years for reasons that I really regret, and didnt really feel like were in my control at the time (even though in retrospect they were). most of the self-discouraging shit comes from me beating myself up when i get really really stoked on skating like i am now. since i just graduated college in august, i am looking for where i want to get a job. and i keep looking at jobs and what city they are in and do all this research about skateparks, skateshops, spots, weather, etc. and then i start thinking like "fuck, i really am not that good at skating, and have abandoned it before, i always stick on my noseslides for christ sake, so why would skating even be a factor about where i would live." i know that it is bullshit, but its good for me to confront it and work through whatever mental blocks i have about caring about skating so i can keep rolling, because i know that is what i want.

so whoever read that, thanks. it actually did help just to write what i'm thinking about and knowing that someone might read it.

Others have said it before, but it really doesn't matter how good you are at skating. You graduated college, which most likely means you're smarter than the average guy. See, there's something to be proud of. I'm sure you don't really need skating to give your self-confidence a boost.

[perverted super otaku!]

Just gonna say while "staying friends" its easy to fool yourself into thinking she still loves you/getting back together is imminent and getting into this weird deluded state of you feeling closer to her than you really are and all kinds of mess, just because you really wanna believe thats the case, basically your in the habit of being her BF and you can easily go on acting like you still are, creatures of habit and all, but the difference is now she is no longer bound to you sexually and by staying close to her/having gnarly feelings while shes with getting other dudes can bring down a world of hurt, which is intense but ultimately pretty destructive I think, or maybe im just fucked who knows lol all the best man

[AnotherHardDayAtTheOffice]

Just gonna say while "staying friends" its easy to fool yourself into thinking she still loves you/getting back together is imminent and getting into this weird deluded state of you feeling closer to her than you really are and all kinds of mess, just because you really wanna believe thats the case, basically your in the habit of being her BF and you can easily go on acting like you still are, creatures of habit and all, but the difference is now she is no longer bound to you sexually and by staying close to her/having gnarly feelings while shes with getting other dudes can bring down a world of hurt, which is intense but ultimately pretty destructive I think, or maybe im just fucked who knows lol all the best man

No, that actually makes sense. While typing my post I realized it's probably for the better if I stop talking to her for a while (i.e., a couple of weeks). At some point, we can become friends again or whatever (fuck, I hate the thought of it), but you're completely right. If I just keep on talking to her, I'll pretend like we're still a couple. I still have feelings for her and the smart thing to do now is probably to get over it instead of trying to keep on to her.

Thanks dude! I'd gnar you if I could.

[KING TUT]

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only been sober for about 2 months (from drinking and being stoned all the time) and im pretty fucking over real life
being fucked up all the time sucks tho too so im probably just doomed to some kind of unsatisfied fate

[close]

I'm stoned from the time I get up until the time I go to bed.  I hate being sober.

[close]

how much do u smoke? i was going thru a quarter every 2-3 days.
main reason i stopped was cause i hated having to concentrate to remember what i was just thinking about.
the paranoia and cost of smoking that much is pretty shitty. i dont think i have the personality for it to work for me.

[close]

I'd say I smoke about 10 grams a week of bud and about 2-3 grams of wax or oil or some other concentrate.  I hate that I smoke this much but the feeling of sobriety is just so shitty and it keeps my IBS from acting up so fuck it. 

the thing is smoking weed makes everything boring, because it makes everything better. dig what i'm trying to say. when your a stoner and you try to watch your favourite tv show or do something you love when your sober you think 'man this is boring as shit i need to be high for this to be entertaining' you get to the point where the only time you can be satisfied is when you smoke. my homies when i first quit would say shit to me like  'man you must be bored out of your mind, wtf do you if your not smoking' but it was the complete opposite everything now became easier and i was more easily satisfied/entertained. it takes a week or two to get like this, and you will be stressing out in the meantime, but god damn life is sweeter when you aint smoking that shit all day long. it takes the kick out of life

[abudabi]

king tut, you nailed it. its awesome when you get back to that normal state of mind where you have fun doing fun shit, and youre bored doing boring shit. weed definitely does some weird shit to the mind, i get kind of numb to everything if im smoking all the time. now that i say that, im about to go get stoned as fuck because im really fucking bummed out.

another hard day at the office, this is going to sound gnarly, but you should cut all ties with her. dont talk to her. dont look at photos of her. odds are you wont be able to stop thinking about her, but try not to indulge in the intense feelings you have for her. its only gonna make you feel worse.
im going through similar motions at the moment. its real hard man, i feel for you.

[Early Hokus Pokus]

Last night while trying to fall asleep, I realized I don't have any friends anymore. I slowly faded away from all my friendships. The Patrick Bateman in my mind tells me they're peasants and I can do better.