My girlfriend of 3 years wants to marry me probably. She pretends that she dislikes even the idea of marriage and kids but she obviously lies.
I love her but I dont want to get married and I dont want a family. �This is merely because I come from an unhappy family, I really dont get along with my parents and my sister. And merely because I am a depressed fuck that believes that I would better not bring a child in such a corrupted world. I dont like responsibilities and I dont want neither a wife nor a kid too. However if I would like some it would be with this girl.
Last night we had a dinner with her boss and her colleagues. It was the first time I had a dinner with serious people around their forties and they sucked bigtime, except maybe a couple who were cool and kinda crazy. People were talking about their jobs and marriages and about going to the gym. Man I dont wanna be like them for sure. We were the younger (me 26 my girl 24). I felt bad for my girl because she wasnt herself trying to impress her boss. On the other hand I was myself, something she was fearing, and it all went well. Actually her boss and colleagues seemed impressed, they were laughing with my jokes and they were impressed with my opinions. They were even impressed when I told them that I skate and I supervise the local skatepark which is almost over. I think that dinner made the things more serious between me and her, just because I impressed her boss and some forty year olds, and made me anxious.
I cant explain it but in that table I felt like I was the most ripe person. I felt like I was the only one that had his shit together �even though I was the person with the most unstable life with clearly no career plan there. My girl seems to go past the line were "maturity" lies. I havent crossed that line and I dont want to but I dont want to lose her either.