real confessions

[LOU.502]

I've been having gnarly anxiety over my new retail job, I had to take a shot of liquor before my shift today just to have the balls to go in, Currently on my 10 min break and I'm bugging out because I'm sober and still have another hour left

Bro I feel you, you’re not alone, I have absolutely crippling anxiety, I used to work in retail and in restaurants, and there were days it was so bad I was shaking and thought I was gonna straight up vom in my lap driving to work. It’s so frustrating, I don’t want to be that way, and I can’t justify or articulate it, it just is. I’ve also had terrible problems with alcohol on and off over the years, it’s lame. I realized I can’t work in retail or customer service, maybe try a warehouse job or something? It’s hard work at first, but it tends to pay well, and you know exactly what you’re getting into each day, so there’s less anxiety about “what could happen” with customers, etc... more stable, less variables to stress over, and sometimes the physical activity is a little bit fun. Either way, keep your chin up b, at least you’re out there doing things and facing it, and there’s definitely something to be said for that, much love fam.

[doublesteveburger]

God damn LOU that was such a solid post of encouragement but I can't help but read it in a mid-cry Jonathan Taylor Thomas voice.

[LOU.502]

God damn LOU that was such a solid post of encouragement but I can't help but read it in a mid-cry Jonathan Taylor Thomas voice.

I type all my posts as a mid cry JTT. I hate to sound like a basic bitch, or use the term “spirit animal”, so I won’t, but teary-eyed JTT is my soul, and John McClane is my symbol of finding a way, yo. He’s ballsy, clever, tough and resourceful, but still unprepared, genuinely terrified and improvising most of the time. The personification of the whole “I don’t wanna be here, I don’t like it, but this is my situation, and unfortunately I am in fact ‘here’ so I gotta deal with this shit because it just needs to be dealt with...” vibe. Plus you just got the 2for1, a heartfelt response and another confession.

A third confession: when I was about 5 I tried to cut my own hair so that I’d have that dopeflow wavy part in my bangs that JTT had. I basically cut a full rainbow-like curve through my bangs with safety scissors, I thought it might work, it did not work, and my dad had to shave my head because I legitimately looked like a “feral Amish boy”

[doublesteveburger]

Will someone gnar this Amish boy for me I can’t do it twice in one day.

[Francis Xavier]

Got em'

[brucewillis]

My country is electing a fascist President and i'm really worried.

[iKobrakai]

My country is electing a fascist President and i'm really worried.

People forget too soon. Now we have retards in power, everywhere.

[brucewillis]

Expand Quote

My country is electing a fascist President and i'm really worried.

[close]

People forget too soon. Now we have retards in power, everywhere.

Agree

[Joust Ostrich]

Got em'

I doubled up for safety. 

[woodinbrine]

My country is electing a fascist President and i'm really worried.

Brazilian? Jeez that guy seems like an asshole

[brucewillis]

Expand Quote

My country is electing a fascist President and i'm really worried.

[close]

Brazilian? Jeez that guy seems like an asshole

Yes, and the worst is that the other candidate is from a political party that somehow fucked the country. There were some social programs that worked, but it was a group of corrupt politicians. It sucks to be worried about the future of your country every fucking day. Fuck fascism and fuck corruption

[Mystical Leader]

It's bizarre that we don't care about the history at all.. We have all the possible information that we need to make better decisions and yet we make the same mistakes our forefathers did.. Humanity is a trip..

I'm not a religious person but I feel like we need some kind of divine intervention to stop us all from destroying this planet we live in.. Let it be computers, robots, nature catastrophe, god, aliens..

[Jollyoli]

It's bizarre that we don't care about the history at all.. We have all the possible information that we need to make better decisions and yet we make the same mistakes our forefathers did.. Humanity is a trip..

I'm not a religious person but I feel like we need some kind of divine intervention to stop us all from destroying this planet we live in.. Let it be computers, robots, nature catastrophe, god, aliens..

According to my sources once humanity is in a lucid state induced by oversaturation of information the fake alien invasion begins...

[brucewillis]

It's bizarre that we don't care about the history at all.. We have all the possible information that we need to make better decisions and yet we make the same mistakes our forefathers did.. Humanity is a trip..

I'm not a religious person but I feel like we need some kind of divine intervention to stop us all from destroying this planet we live in.. Let it be computers, robots, nature catastrophe, god, aliens..

The fact that we're walking into a fascist hurricane scares me... The people of my country seem not to have learned from Nazism or fascism of the last century. But worst of all is that it can get really fucked if any of the candidates are elected, since the other party has already been engaged in massive corruption schemes

[Dwyck]

i left my underwear on the floor of my bathroom all day and my roommate didnt say anything 

[woodinbrine]

Expand Quote

It's bizarre that we don't care about the history at all.. We have all the possible information that we need to make better decisions and yet we make the same mistakes our forefathers did.. Humanity is a trip..

I'm not a religious person but I feel like we need some kind of divine intervention to stop us all from destroying this planet we live in.. Let it be computers, robots, nature catastrophe, god, aliens..

[close]

The fact that we're walking into a fascist hurricane scares me... The people of my country seem not to have learned from Nazism or fascism of the last century. But worst of all is that it can get really fucked if any of the candidates are elected, since the other party has already been engaged in massive corruption schemes

Out of the five biggest countries in the world only Canada will have a leader that doesn’t come across as evil or a complete scrote then, how nice

[SodaJerk]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

It's bizarre that we don't care about the history at all.. We have all the possible information that we need to make better decisions and yet we make the same mistakes our forefathers did.. Humanity is a trip..

I'm not a religious person but I feel like we need some kind of divine intervention to stop us all from destroying this planet we live in.. Let it be computers, robots, nature catastrophe, god, aliens..

[close]

The fact that we're walking into a fascist hurricane scares me... The people of my country seem not to have learned from Nazism or fascism of the last century. But worst of all is that it can get really fucked if any of the candidates are elected, since the other party has already been engaged in massive corruption schemes

[close]

Out of the five biggest countries in the world only Canada will have a leader that doesn’t come across as evil or a complete scrote then, how nice

You must be talking about landmass, right?

[woodinbrine]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

It's bizarre that we don't care about the history at all.. We have all the possible information that we need to make better decisions and yet we make the same mistakes our forefathers did.. Humanity is a trip..

I'm not a religious person but I feel like we need some kind of divine intervention to stop us all from destroying this planet we live in.. Let it be computers, robots, nature catastrophe, god, aliens..

[close]

The fact that we're walking into a fascist hurricane scares me... The people of my country seem not to have learned from Nazism or fascism of the last century. But worst of all is that it can get really fucked if any of the candidates are elected, since the other party has already been engaged in massive corruption schemes

[close]

Out of the five biggest countries in the world only Canada will have a leader that doesn’t come across as evil or a complete scrote then, how nice

[close]

You must be talking about landmass, right?

Oh yeah, sorry, I’m a bit dumb. By population - India doesn’t seem like the best country to live in politically either. Indonesia I’m not familiar with at all but a quick google search doesn’t make me optimistic.
In terms of power/influence I’m uncomfortable with Saudi Arabia and Israel, also Qatar have a lot of «soft power» and are a deeply unsympathetic country. The more powerful European countries have a rising far right that is cause for concern as well. I don’t know how much actual power North Korea has, but their leader is batshit insane and living there seems terrible.

[doublesteveburger]

Getting a SLAP tattoo soon.

[Francis Xavier]

Getting a SLAP tattoo soon.

Will that make you a Mod?

[feedmeseymour]

Expand Quote

Getting a SLAP tattoo soon.

[close]

Will that make you a Mod?

only if located on your gooch/taint

[smellsdead]

Expand Quote

It's bizarre that we don't care about the history at all.. We have all the possible information that we need to make better decisions and yet we make the same mistakes our forefathers did.. Humanity is a trip..

I'm not a religious person but I feel like we need some kind of divine intervention to stop us all from destroying this planet we live in.. Let it be computers, robots, nature catastrophe, god, aliens..

[close]

According to my sources once humanity is in a lucid state induced by oversaturation of information the fake alien invasion begins...

hmm bluebeam eh?

[Mystical Leader]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

It's bizarre that we don't care about the history at all.. We have all the possible information that we need to make better decisions and yet we make the same mistakes our forefathers did.. Humanity is a trip..

I'm not a religious person but I feel like we need some kind of divine intervention to stop us all from destroying this planet we live in.. Let it be computers, robots, nature catastrophe, god, aliens..

[close]

According to my sources once humanity is in a lucid state induced by oversaturation of information the fake alien invasion begins...

[close]

hmm bluebeam eh?

Possibly..

I'm ready but are the people ready for me?

[CrumblingInfrastructure]

I got in a argument with my husband and it escalated to the point where he pushed me into the bed and hit me. Everyone in my family gets divorced but I want to break that trend. We got together when I was 18 and he was 35 (always been into bears and all that shit). He gets really needy and insecure when I work full time and make my own money but when I drop down to part time he wants me to cook, clean, etc. I wouldnt mind the latter but he just impulse buys shit nonstop. E.G. My hobby is collecting and organising americana/subculture ephemera. He collects hobbies on a weekly basis. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this without the worry of it coming back to me. For all I know he lurks here.

[Pigeon]

I got in a argument with my husband and it escalated to the point where he pushed me into the bed and hit me. Everyone in my family gets divorced but I want to break that trend. We got together when I was 18 and he was 35 (always been into bears and all that shit). He gets really needy and insecure when I work full time and make my own money but when I drop down to part time he wants me to cook, clean, etc. I wouldnt mind the latter but he just impulse buys shit nonstop. E.G. My hobby is collecting and organising americana/subculture ephemera. He collects hobbies on a weekly basis. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this without the worry of it coming back to me. For all I know he lurks here.

You should call him out for that shit. If it escalates violently, get a divorce. Don’t risk your happiness to prove a point. You shouldn’t have to put up with violence or be taken advantage of in any way.

On a way less serious note: I somewhat enjoy Dane Vaughn’s paintings.

[iKobrakai]

That sounds terrible, CI. I wish I had something good to say, but I've got nothing.

[CrumblingInfrastructure]

Thanks for the input guys. Im not someone that wants to air out my dirty laundry but ive been hurting about the events that transpired and im unable to talk about them due to social shit. It genuinely feels good to have a place like this to air out my grievances and issues. Thanks to you guys for helping me with my shit. I do appreciate it.

[UnfortunateSon]

Throwaway because some slappers know me irl.

My depression has been hitting me hard lately, really hard where certain thoughts tend to circulate more than so than ever. The major reason I can't is because I don't want to chance not seeing my dog again on the otherside. He passed away a month ago, and I miss him allot. The depression has been constant even before then, but him passing made it worse of course.

Found out not too long after him passing that my girlfriend isn't happy with our relationship. There's a lot of stress on that front, and while I'm doing alot, to her it doesn't feel that way. So that's not helping either, but that's another long story.

Wish I could go to family about these things, but I honestly think that they wouldn't understand. I also don't want to burden the ones that I feel would. They make it better and remind me that I'm doing good, or well that I did do something good and made someone happy. One of my best friends has been helping a lot, but I hate burdening him with my issues as well. It not that I feel like I'm a burden, but more along the line that I care more about the the people around me being happy and when they're happy, I'm happy. I don't want them worrying about me in the back of their minds, or them questioning whether or not they're part of the reason I'm like this.

Getting back into skating was helping me a lot, as I progressed more than I did in years of skating back in highschool. The best part wasn't seeing me progress though, but was progressing with friends that also got back into it. But constantly taking care of someone, slowly would see me not skating at all anymore. I see my friends progressing and that gets me stooked, but bummed out at the same time. I've regressed back to how I was when I first started with them, and it bums me out that I'm not out there with them celebrating each of us progressing.

Sorry for the rant guys, it just been tough. I needed to get this all off my chest. Typing up all this made me feel a lot better.

[CrumblingInfrastructure]

Throwaway because some slappers know me irl.

My depression has been hitting me hard lately, really hard where certain thoughts tend to circulate more than so than ever. The major reason I can't is because I don't want to chance not seeing my dog again on the otherside. He passed away a month ago, and I miss him allot. The depression has been constant even before then, but him passing made it worse of course.

Found out not too long after him passing that my girlfriend isn't happy with our relationship. There's a lot of stress on that front, and while I'm doing alot, to her it doesn't feel that way. So that's not helping either, but that's another long story.

Wish I could go to family about these things, but I honestly think that they wouldn't understand. I also don't want to burden the ones that I feel would. They make it better and remind me that I'm doing good, or well that I did do something good and made someone happy. One of my best friends has been helping a lot, but I hate burdening him with my issues as well. It not that I feel like I'm a burden, but more along the line that I care more about the the people around me being happy and when they're happy, I'm happy. I don't want them worrying about me in the back of their minds, or them questioning whether or not they're part of the reason I'm like this.

Getting back into skating was helping me a lot, as I progressed more than I did in years of skating back in highschool. The best part wasn't seeing me progress though, but was progressing with friends that also got back into it. But constantly taking care of someone, slowly would see me not skating at all anymore. I see my friends progressing and that gets me stooked, but bummed out at the same time. I've regressed back to how I was when I first started with them, and it bums me out that I'm not out there with them celebrating each of us progressing.

Sorry for the rant guys, it just been tough. I needed to get this all off my chest. Typing up all this made me feel a lot better.

I was just recently talking to a friend about ways to cope with depression and/or depressive periods. Short of counseling (which I dont do but probably should) he recommended Self-analysis and awareness on things that are directly influencing you. It seems you’ve at least identified that a large portion is attributed to the loss of your dog. Maybe try externalizing your pain/depression in writing form because sometimes it helps to just write it out.

The biggest chunk of advice I can give you is that Depression is not only a emotion but a disease. We have a chemical imbalance in our brains that cause us to be the way we are and engage in damaging behaviour so its always good to check yourself before you end up.... wrecking yourself?

CrumblingInfrastructure at Gmail is already my burner email and I really dont give a shit about what your actual handle is on here so if it would help you out, please feel free to email me even if its to just rant/externalize things so that you arent bottling this shit up. I cant garauntee a immediate reply or sometimes one at all even. But if it helps you out in the slightest then it really is the least I can do.

I can empathize with a lot of shit you are dealing with and wish you the best dude.

[straight]

please elaborate this interests me