when i was 17 i dated a girl til i was 20 and still kind of see her sometimes and its like nothings changed...but she has had a boyfriend for the past year. the whole thing fell apart because of me in the first place, i fucked it up. its been 2 years and im pretty stuck on her, and theres not much of a chance i can get her back, and to be honest, it wouldnt end up working anyways probably, just because of how important her religion is to her and my lack of religion. basically i cant get over the fucking nostalgia of when we dated and i will try to see her monthly just to try and get that feeling again. in the meantime i was trying to not fuck a bunch of girls in hopes of getting back together and not having to explain that while im the only person shes ever been with, ive fucked a bunch of other girls. holy fuck i sound like a bitch. anyways, im pretty much coming to the reality that it isnt going to happen and i keep getting drunk and taking home slutty girls from bars and this shit is no fun when you are sitting alone at home the next night. i dont think ill ever really like anybody the same way, and these sluts are only filling the void for a few hours. and half of them are cheating on their boyfriends with me, which makes me even more skeptical of meeting and trusting another girl. god damn, sorry i just typed that.