Someone’s going to get sacked so badly at the Olympic they will need an ambulance.
This injury will spawn the creation of a skating underwear brand with a built in cup and swamp ass and skid mark resistant mesh comprised of crosslocked nanofiber technology.
This underwear brand will be called Taint Saint and will become publicly traded within 90 days of initial launch and have a 5 minute ad spot on every episode of the 9 club.
The success will be followed with additional versions called the Crotch Guard specifically designed for women, trans, gender fluid and non binary folks of course.
The spokesperson will be &&