so my fiancee's family is pretty religious and i am not. she believes in god, but beside that and going to church every once in a while, i wouldn't call her a very religious person. most of her family is pretty devout, though. theyre all good people and have always been very kind and welcoming to me, and i dont have any problems with them, but they've started putting a lot of emphasis on me getting saved (accepting jesus as my lord and savior) recently. a little over a year ago, my brother went to a live-in christian rehab facility, became a christian, and it has made a pretty positive impact on his life. so between seeing my brother change for the better and her family wanting me to be more involved in christianity, ive started going to church on sundays more often. not really for myself, but for people i care about, which i know is the wrong reason to go to church. most of the time i just zone out and think of tricks to do on the stage (its a ledge with a 3 stair in the center) but sometimes the message is good and i leave feeling positive. its a pretty small church and the people there know who i am and they know that i dont believe, and although nobody has really tried to convert me, they asked me to join a bible study once a week which i have been going to for maybe two months now. i like to think that im a pretty open minded person, and instead of just saying "no, i dont believe in god" i decided to give it a shot to hopefully understand why people do believe in god. i also find biblical history sort of interesting. i also think that if you're going to believe in something thats two sided like religion, you've got to understand the opposing side. anyway, i've been getting nothing out of the study sessions and i usually just zone out for the whole hour. ive put in my effort, but i still haven't found any reason why i should believe that god is real, and frankly i dont want to do the whole religion thing anymore. its not religion that bothers me, its that people around me are telling me that i need it, and i dont feel like that at all. its so hard to understand someones passion for something when you cant be passionate about it yourself, even if you try. i just dont know what to say to these people without sounding like a dick. i talked to my fiancee last night and she took it really well. she knows i respect everyones beliefs and opinions and their efforts to include me in their faith and she also knows that i cant help the way i feel about it. i just dont know how to explain this to the other people ive been going to bible study with or to her family members who im close with, because i dont want them to think that their efforts have been wasted or that i dont respect them.
tldr: ive given christianity a shot and i dont want to do it anymore, but i dont know how to tell people that. anyone else deal with anything like this before?
Topic: real confessions (Read 1744639 times)