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Only try as hard as you feel like trying, cut the pollution, watch how much of yourself you invest vs. what you actually get in return (both in terms of joy and pain), appreciate all the positives of the present, embrace the future and paint happy little clouds next to happy little trees.
Beautiful champ.
I'm all for finding love in that dream person. But men have to stop putting the pussy on the pedestal; yes she seems like the goddess of your dreams and you can already imagine a life with her. But she should not be the end all and be all of everything. I think there's a reason why she's ghosting.
Maybe she loved the high of being in a foreign land and falling for a stranger. Maybe she met someone else. Maybe she's secretly married back home to a mobster who will chop your dick off if he finds you looking at her and she's doing this to protect you. There could be a million reasons. Don't get hung up on them or her social media. Let it sit on ice for a bit and see how you feel about her in a week or so. Avoid her social media, it's tempting but you need to have an honest assessment of your feelings towards her too.
But if you really feel so strongly about this woman, than I would suggest being honest and upfront with her. Tell her to stop playing the games and you want to see her and try this thing out with her. If she reciprocates then you're set. If she says no or goes silent, then you got your answer and move on. Living in limbo like this sucks and you only prolong your suffering.
That's just me, women I've dated in the past have said I was too direct and it turned them off me. Fair play, but that's just me and if it doesn't vibe with them then I'd rather we find out sooner than later.
I feel life is too short and shitty enough to play these stupid romantic games. If you like her enough, put your heart our there and see if she holds it or shits on it. Either way you got your answer and can move on with your life. I hated the social media undercurrents when it comes to romantic pursuits. If you're keen on having a future with someone, just be direct and go for it. None of this "read but not replied", "waiting x minutes before replying" or coming up with BS stories why you replied late (I was at my cousin's ballet recital).
Last, have a real hard look at yourself and ask yourself what you see in the woman. Are you in love with her or the idea of her? What is it about her personality that attracts you? Is she kind? Challenge your to be your best self? Make you laugh when times are shit? All these questions are tough to answer in a few months or years, let alone a couple of weeks. Hell any married person on here would say they're learning new things about their spouse constantly.
I've definitely been guilty of loving the idea of a person more than the person herself. She was wild, fun, partied too hard and had the exciting backstory (club dancer) that I thought I wanted in my life. Whenever we hung out we had a blast, but she would ghost on me for days afterwards. It ended when she told me I was in love with the idea of her more than her as a person. And she was right. There was no way our lifestyles would have been compatible in the long run, but it was fun while it lasted. More importantly I came out knowing what I wanted and didn't want in a long term partner.
I'm not sure how old you are, but all these experiences are there to teach you something about yourself. You got to take a slam trying to kickflip the 10 stairs to realize it's not the worst thing in the world.
NO NO NO NO NO!
That guy is a total misogynist. He's a total douchebag pick up artist type. You don't need that shit to find a good girl. Like you, I didn't really come out of my shell until my late 20's. My friend tried to suggest his videos when I was thinking of dating again and I said fuck this pickup artist bullshit after a few videos. The way he talks about women is fucked in the head.
If you wan't a
relationship, don't watch that guys videos. Those videos are targeted to people who look at women as a game, can't get with them, and are willing to be pieces of shit to get laid. And if you want an actual relationship his videos will do more harm than good. He makes up a bunch of arbitrary bullshit and just assumes it as fact. I think he promotes an unhealthy view towards women and tries to justify it by claiming women are bitches or selfish.
I watched his videos for a couple days, saw right through it and said fuck this guy. I stayed true to myself, being chill, being normal when it came to finally talking to a girl. The most important thing is don't be scared, be yourself, draw lines if you know something is unhealthy and that is it!
I stayed true to my beliefs instead of thinking of women like a game, and I will fucking humble brag now about my success. I got so fucking lucky with the girl I met just being myself. She's beautiful, has a fucking amazing body, girls come up to her all the time and tell her how good she looks, super smart (Masters Degree) and she has gotten more degree's since we started dating, No drugs, no booze, super funny, super smart, very self aware, just the coolest person ever, incredibly caring and genuine, she bought a fucking PC so we play every night when we aren't together. She Motivated me to do so much in just two years. Including getting my own place, getting back in college, eating better, getting exercise, having a better attitude and much more.
I messaged her while I was texting my homie. I was like "I just sent a message to this crazy hot chick that actual likes all the shit I like, won't get a response though." My message was genuine and talked about our similar interests, asked questions about them, told her a little about myself, didn't hype myself up. I got a message a few minutes later and it was off to the races, I couldn't believe she even responded.
I'm very slightly above average looks wise, I know I'm dating up, not all women are superficial cunts to be played like a game.
Topic: real confessions (Read 1744716 times)