SOBRIETY

[Abyss1]

 

[NoComply180]

This quarantine period has made me realize drinking has become my default way of spending time when I’m not working. It feels like it’s been a gradual evolution - weekend partying in college, starting to work Full time and unloading with drinking on weekends again, then testing the waters with weekday drinking after tough days/breakups/adult bullshit, to mid twenties drinking 3-4 nights a week, now late twenties and the last year or two has gone to it being a rare exception that I don’t drink on a given night, and weekends starting in the morning or afternoon after I skate or workout. Now being stuck at home it’s become really obvious to me how this has evolved. Fortunately I’ve laid off the weed because it makes me anxious and this current time period already has me on edge. I’ve been sick the last three days which is really the only reason I’ve felt no need to drink. It’s hard for me to tell when something is a problem or not, since on the outside I’m a fairly high functioning adult.

[NoComply180]

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This quarantine period has made me realize drinking has become my default way of spending time when I’m not working. It feels like it’s been a gradual evolution - weekend partying in college, starting to work Full time and unloading with drinking on weekends again, then testing the waters with weekday drinking after tough days/breakups/adult bullshit, to mid twenties drinking 3-4 nights a week, now late twenties and the last year or two has gone to it being a rare exception that I don’t drink on a given night, and weekends starting in the morning or afternoon after I skate or workout. Now being stuck at home it’s become really obvious to me how this has evolved. Fortunately I’ve laid off the weed because it makes me anxious and this current time period already has me on edge. I’ve been sick the last three days which is really the only reason I’ve felt no need to drink. It’s hard for me to tell when something is a problem or not, since on the outside I’m a fairly high functioning adult.

[close]

yo homie. i stopped drinking 3 months and 20 days after i turned 30. I was spending about $200/wk, sometimes more buying booze for home, going out and subsequently buying some flaave to keep up. I got to the point where I couldn't get drunk until blackout. I come from a family where my grandmother had a beer fridge in the basement, my dad has a beer fridge. they're all hard working, functioning people, but everything is a fucking party. Going to the hardware store on saturday is an excuse for a road soda on the way and a stop at the bar on the way home. It's a hard ingrained habit. It's been almost 6 years now without booze and there's no going back.

I'm just saying this because it's really insidious, the way that alcohol can sneak up on you and infiltrate everything you do. I credit a pretty heavy DMT blastoff shortly after I stopped as a turning point in helping me maintain.

If you wanna stop, you've got it.

thank you my man, I appreciate it. Yeah I realized sometimes even a trip to the liquor store I would have a drink before, then get a single beer or canned cocktail for the walk home with all the other booze in tow too. At this point it seems more like a habit than an addiction, so I’m going to try and change my behavior and daily patterns as opposed to going cold turkey to start. We’ll see.

[Abyss1]

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This quarantine period has made me realize drinking has become my default way of spending time when I’m not working. It feels like it’s been a gradual evolution - weekend partying in college, starting to work Full time and unloading with drinking on weekends again, then testing the waters with weekday drinking after tough days/breakups/adult bullshit, to mid twenties drinking 3-4 nights a week, now late twenties and the last year or two has gone to it being a rare exception that I don’t drink on a given night, and weekends starting in the morning or afternoon after I skate or workout. Now being stuck at home it’s become really obvious to me how this has evolved. Fortunately I’ve laid off the weed because it makes me anxious and this current time period already has me on edge. I’ve been sick the last three days which is really the only reason I’ve felt no need to drink. It’s hard for me to tell when something is a problem or not, since on the outside I’m a fairly high functioning adult.

[close]

yo homie. i stopped drinking 3 months and 20 days after i turned 30. I was spending about $200/wk, sometimes more buying booze for home, going out and subsequently buying some flaave to keep up. I got to the point where I couldn't get drunk until blackout. I come from a family where my grandmother had a beer fridge in the basement, my dad has a beer fridge. they're all hard working, functioning people, but everything is a fucking party. Going to the hardware store on saturday is an excuse for a road soda on the way and a stop at the bar on the way home. It's a hard ingrained habit. It's been almost 6 years now without booze and there's no going back.

I'm just saying this because it's really insidious, the way that alcohol can sneak up on you and infiltrate everything you do. I credit a pretty heavy DMT blastoff shortly after I stopped as a turning point in helping me maintain.

If you wanna stop, you've got it.

[close]

thank you my man, I appreciate it. Yeah I realized sometimes even a trip to the liquor store I would have a drink before, then get a single beer or canned cocktail for the walk home with all the other booze in tow too. At this point it seems more like a habit than an addiction, so I’m going to try and change my behavior and daily patterns as opposed to going cold turkey to start. We’ll see.

[close]

the habit is the hardest part. Summer time is still the most challenging for me. I get hit with moments where I think "aah, that's beer drinking time..." do whatcha gotta do, man!

Yea that’s what I realized too...so I started creating new good habits only been sober for 6.5 months. I think every time I get bored I think about drinking or even watching a movie, got some jarittos Mexican soda in bottles and it’s been working as a substitute

[theloniousmonk]

I kept hearing about the idea of figuring out the issues that are making you drink, but I never knew what that meant, and I also never thought I had any issues.
One book really helped me sort through my problems that led me to drinking, and it is
Ask And It Is Given
By Esther and Jerry Hicks.
When you read it, you are going to feel positive.
You are all good people and I wish you well.

[iKobrakai]

I kept hearing about the idea of figuring out the issues that are making you drink, but I never knew what that meant, and I also never thought I had any issues.
One book really helped me sort through my problems that led me to drinking, and it is
Ask And It Is Given
By Esther and Jerry Hicks.
When you read it, you are going to feel positive.
You are all good people and I wish you well.

By definition, if you're killing yourself with booze there has to be a problem. Regular people stop way before piling up charges, OD's and other shit.

[50mm]

Today marks a month without smoking. I always make it a month or several then get bored and smoke and I’m back to square one of being a total fucking burnout lazy fuck. Weed is terrible for me. I already lack motivation to do anything so when I smoke I pretty much just sit on the sidelines as life passes me by. This time though, I wasn’t hiding I was smoking or that I was quitting or that I needed support from my girlfriend. She’s the shit and is very much understanding that I’m an adult and can do what I want, doesn’t tell me to stop but will be on my ass making sure I’m not smoking if I ask her to be, which I did. When I smoke vs when I don’t is night and day personality wise and just being able to do basic shit like my job. I wish I could moderate like most but for some reason weed is the only substance that has really had a negative impact on my life and for myself personally is crazy addictive. Shalom. 

[funeral_tuxedo]

Flying Rodent and NoComply 180,
I've been sober for close to ten years. It was incredibly difficult for me to stop using drugs and alcohol and I needed a lot of help from other people (I still do) and that was almost as terrifying as the idea of getting through the days without substances. Please feel free to message me if you want to ask me any questions about recovery. I'm not any kind of authority on anything but I can definitely share what resources worked for me or I can just listen. No judgement.
PS this is a dope thread.

[NoComply180]

Flying Rodent and NoComply 180,
I've been sober for close to ten years. It was incredibly difficult for me to stop using drugs and alcohol and I needed a lot of help from other people (I still do) and that was almost as terrifying as the idea of getting through the days without substances. Please feel free to message me if you want to ask me any questions about recovery. I'm not any kind of authority on anything but I can definitely share what resources worked for me or I can just listen. No judgement.
PS this is a dope thread.

thank you, that means a lot. Yeah I can’t imagine asking real people in my life for help, or even just letting them know that I have problem. If I even do. Writing about it on an anonymous skateboarding forum was hard enough.

[peptobismol]

i am struggling with alcohol and am trying to slow it down, yet i somehow find myself drinking every single night until i either pass out or run out of alcohol. i recently rolled my ankle(skating while high) so now i feel like now i have nothing else to do other than drink. i have been able to get my weed consumption down and eventually i plan on phasing it out completely, however the alcohol seems to be much more difficult to kick. i am a recovering addict to begin with, having been hooked on opiates but i managed to kick that habit. that was 11 years ago. i also had a love affair with cocaine but i managed to kick that, too. the alcohol, i think because it is so widely accepted in society, it makes it much more difficult to stop. for the past month or so, i have had a lot of trouble keeping alcohol down and it has been making me gag so i know that my body is rejecting it but i still drink, regardless. i also have been having panic attacks much like how marc johnson described in some interview where he was struggling with alcohol and then had an onset panic attack where the lingering feeling of imminent doom was right around the corner. i do not have any DUIs nor do i plan on getting any. i have had many close calls, though.

tl;dr
i dont have any questions, really just venting i guess.

[Dracula]

I turned into a huge pile when quarantine started and was drinking almost every night. Last month I joined my friend on only drinking on weekends and thankfully it’s been pretty easy. I just drink a shit ton of sparking waters during the week

[AlexOlsonsDashiki]

If anyone is struggling with alcohol or drug use please send me a PM. I am always open to listen. I have been sober for 2 and a half years. 

I recently found my old Slap account and through the posts I saw what I looked like when I was fucked up and jesus christ was it abysmal.

I do AA although I have a problem with crack and heroin as well. Im not here to convince anyone they need AA or a 12 step program, I am just happy to listen. Please reach out.

[AlexOlsonsDashiki]

also to the people questioning if AA will laugh at you for only drinking on the weekends, the answer is no.

"the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking"

[brycickle]

it's a hard road to hoe.

Row.

[peptobismol]

an unsolicited update:
havent slowed down with alcohol but at least it doesnt make me gag anymore.....at the present moment. ive been off weed for a few days and i havent had any panic attacks since, that might have been the cause. still cant skate, though. i tried rolling around in the garage on my mickey mouse board yesterday(see set-up thread & worst set up thread), hit a twig and it agitated my ankle so thats a bummer. ive been trying to strengthen my core and ankle in between beers as well as smashing through duolingo so at least thats a plus.
not really interested in talking directly to pals, im tired of hearing the same generic stuff. no offense or anything and i do appreciate those reaching out but all that i want is to put my thoughts out and throw it into the internet abyss.

and no, i have not been driving while drunk. i like to practice good harm reduction.

[drewsmahgoos]

don't really know where else to ask as one of my only friends is right next to me going through the same shit. I got hooked on fent. I'm not proud of it. Honestly totally ashamed. I lived a junky's dream for the last year. No work, no responsibilities or bills. Just blasted through all the money I have and my best friend has. Sold everything I could easily sell. Now I'm broke and kicking. I spent over 30k this year on drugs alone. Fent WD's are the worst thing I've ever experienced. I'm just happy I'm not kicking in prison or something. Anyway, can someone reach out and just chat with me? I'm really genuinely trying not to go out and use again. Doing everything I can including throwing out my dignity by reaching out to people on here.

[Telly]

don't really know where else to ask as one of my only friends is right next to me going through the same shit. I got hooked on fent. I'm not proud of it. Honestly totally ashamed. I lived a junky's dream for the last year. No work, no responsibilities or bills. Just blasted through all the money I have and my best friend has. Sold everything I could easily sell. Now I'm broke and kicking. I spent over 30k this year on drugs alone. Fent WD's are the worst thing I've ever experienced. I'm just happy I'm not kicking in prison or something. Anyway, can someone reach out and just chat with me? I'm really genuinely trying not to go out and use again. Doing everything I can including throwing out my dignity by reaching out to people on here.

I’m at work for the next 8 hours but can chat via pm until then and can talk after if you need someone.

[Sleazy]

haven't posted in ages. i've been off and on again with my program of drinking mostly on the weekends. didn't drink last night which felt good and usually once i get one day started during a week i make it too the weekend without drinking.

Today marks a month without smoking. I always make it a month or several then get bored and smoke and I’m back to square one of being a total fucking burnout lazy fuck. Weed is terrible for me. I already lack motivation to do anything so when I smoke I pretty much just sit on the sidelines as life passes me by. This time though, I wasn’t hiding I was smoking or that I was quitting or that I needed support from my girlfriend. She’s the shit and is very much understanding that I’m an adult and can do what I want, doesn’t tell me to stop but will be on my ass making sure I’m not smoking if I ask her to be, which I did. When I smoke vs when I don’t is night and day personality wise and just being able to do basic shit like my job. I wish I could moderate like most but for some reason weed is the only substance that has really had a negative impact on my life and for myself personally is crazy addictive. Shalom.

50mm i can share that for me weed was crazy addictive and really holding me back a ton. it was so hard to quit about 7 years back but i don't look back at all now. it was making me anti-social, a bit grouchy and had me hitting way below my potential when it came to getting shit done. i'd encourage you to keep pushing. if you feel it's a problem and you've got a good girl you are set for success.

note i smoke a cigar now and then to get a mellow fade and it scratches that same itch. on the weekends i'll put a show on my ipod and smoke a nice cigar to mellow out a bit.

[drewsmahgoos]

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don't really know where else to ask as one of my only friends is right next to me going through the same shit. I got hooked on fent. I'm not proud of it. Honestly totally ashamed. I lived a junky's dream for the last year. No work, no responsibilities or bills. Just blasted through all the money I have and my best friend has. Sold everything I could easily sell. Now I'm broke and kicking. I spent over 30k this year on drugs alone. Fent WD's are the worst thing I've ever experienced. I'm just happy I'm not kicking in prison or something. Anyway, can someone reach out and just chat with me? I'm really genuinely trying not to go out and use again. Doing everything I can including throwing out my dignity by reaching out to people on here.

[close]

I’m at work for the next 8 hours but can chat via pm until then and can talk after if you need someone.

That seriously helps dude, I need all the help I can get right now and I really appreciate it.

[pugmaster]

I'm on day 15 of no booze, which is the longest I've gone in a decade. I have more mental clarity, but am still really tired feeling still. Has anyone else had that? I thought it would be gone by now.

[Betaphenylethylalamine]

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I'm on day 15 of no booze, which is the longest I've gone in a decade. I have more mental clarity, but am still really tired feeling still. Has anyone else had that? I thought it would be gone by now.

[close]

Yooooo my G. Big ups. 15 days is a long frickin time, especially when you've been boozing for a decade. Prior to quitting in 2015, I only got that far a 2 or 3 times before I'd get back at it. It's great that you're realizing the reason for still feeling tired is related to getting off the sauce, rather than chalking it up to something else. It's going to take a while to get to that baseline you might have been at 10 years ago, but it's not insurmountable and will come faster than you expect. Things will gradually pick up and improve. you've got to remember that your body/brain are used to having a regular infusion of a depressant/sugars/carbs and is working overtime to regain a different sort of independent function. I don't know you as an individual, but as a human, you're resilient and can soon enough overcome the sense of dragging ass. I'm not speaking with medical knowledge, but whenever coming off of a toxic substance that has been habitually used/misused, it helps me to see the body/mind as being in shock and requiring more care than might normally be given. Supplements, clean eating, water, exercise will help your body/mind get to where they need to be.

you got this shit, homie.

This....

Fucking congrats man! Get lots of healthy fats/liquids into the body and excercises as you can.

Stoked for you man!!!

[iKobrakai]

Keep going, my bro!

[Bizarro Jerry]

After 12 weeks of no alcohol I thought I would try to have a couple on my birthday the other day. Got six pack of stella and could barely even finish one. Hated the way it made me feel. I got so used to being in control of my body that even the slight buzz I got felt so invasive and uncomfortable. Kinda feel annoyed I broke sobriety, but at the same time it helped me solidify that being sober is 100% for me. I've still saved over $750+ dollars over the past three months, and over 300 hours of drinking. Enough money to buy a yamaha keyboard and start to teach myself how to play piano. Proud of all y'all on here, keep it up guys.

[ilovegay]

I’ve been sober just over 9 months. I actually think I have Covid to thank. I went on a bender celebrating my wife’s birthday, and then got the sickest I’ve ever been for two weeks. I think it was Covid, but the test came back negative. Definitely the best decision I ever made. 1 was too many, 100 wasn’t enough.

It is very nice to wake up every day feeling great with tons of energy and no regrets. I have saved a ton of money. I’m also definitely in the best shape of my life, and skating better than I ever have at age 33.

Shalom to any pals out there trying to be clean. It’s not easy. I definitely said I was going to stop drinking 100s of times. You will not regret it though when you finally make that decision for yourself.

[Abyss1]

Shalom thread

in 2020 I spend 8 months sober and had to move, i caved in after I moved due to the stress of moving and exhaustion, and last 4 month I had a 6 pack a night.  first week was fun, the rest was whack and expensive, honestly just felt like shit everytime I drank and Got to the point where every beer I drank was gross.

Had to clean back up this year and been sober since Jan1.   

[jtrpma]

Shalom thread

in 2020 I spend 8 months sober and had to move, i caved in after I moved due to the stress of moving and exhaustion, and last 4 month I had a 6 pack a night.  first week was fun, the rest was whack and expensive, honestly just felt like shit everytime I drank and Got to the point where every beer I drank was gross.

Had to clean back up this year and been sober since Jan1.

Stoked you resobered up. Just try to remember how shitty you felt when tempted in the future.

I am at two years dry now and couldn‘t imagine having a casual drink...
Even managed to phase out weed completely, I bought a bunch of cbd and it was just not worth smoking it because it didn’t do anything. So I am really stoked on that, didn‘t think that would happen like this.

Shout out to all the sober and all the not sober pals, I love that this thread is out here.
Shalom & Friede

[AlexOlsonsDashiki]

any of y'all familiar with the founder of AA, Bill Wilson? He had a profound experience on Belladonna and/or henbane I believe, which helped him quit drinking by having a profound spiritual experience. He then took LSD, with some frequency, and got into correspondence with Carl Jung, to whom he expressed the belief that LSD could be part of the 12 steps, an introduction to that higher power or something greater.

Now, I'm not advocating for anyone to go get puddled, I will however, say that I know many addicts who have kicked some gnarly, long time habits of heroin, crack, meth, and booze, by using psychedelics. I partially credit a DMT experience during my first month sober from alcohol with helping move forward on the path. Little bit of L every now and again, in a comfortable, controlled setting with such an intention has done the same for many.

Again, I'm not advocating for anything, and y'all know your mental health status better than anyone else, but it's something to consider.

Stay strong n safe homies

Bill Wilson is a polarizing character. On his deathbed he asked for a drink. Not saying not to do LSD, but I havent in the 3 years ive been sober

My fiance/mother of my child left me to be with her boss on Friday. Im pretty fucked up over it. I have a lot of fear and anger and sadness and hurt. I didnt drink. Ive been on the phone with sober men pretty much hourly for the last 48 hours. I went to meetings. I wrote inventory. I dont think Im going to drink or smoke crack over this today.

[pugmaster]

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any of y'all familiar with the founder of AA, Bill Wilson? He had a profound experience on Belladonna and/or henbane I believe, which helped him quit drinking by having a profound spiritual experience. He then took LSD, with some frequency, and got into correspondence with Carl Jung, to whom he expressed the belief that LSD could be part of the 12 steps, an introduction to that higher power or something greater.

Now, I'm not advocating for anyone to go get puddled, I will however, say that I know many addicts who have kicked some gnarly, long time habits of heroin, crack, meth, and booze, by using psychedelics. I partially credit a DMT experience during my first month sober from alcohol with helping move forward on the path. Little bit of L every now and again, in a comfortable, controlled setting with such an intention has done the same for many.

Again, I'm not advocating for anything, and y'all know your mental health status better than anyone else, but it's something to consider.

Stay strong n safe homies

[close]

Bill Wilson is a polarizing character. On his deathbed he asked for a drink. Not saying not to do LSD, but I havent in the 3 years ive been sober

My fiance/mother of my child left me to be with her boss on Friday. Im pretty fucked up over it. I have a lot of fear and anger and sadness and hurt. I didnt drink. Ive been on the phone with sober men pretty much hourly for the last 48 hours. I went to meetings. I wrote inventory. I dont think Im going to drink or smoke crack over this today.

That absolutely sucks man.  Definitely don't go the destructive route.  The best revenge is success.  Use this as an opportunity to take inventory of the various areas of your life that you want to make gains in and focus on that.  For example, even if it is something as simple as earning more money and working longer hours, you will be too busy to dwell on BS.

My dad has been married about 3 times and that was basically the advice he gave me about how to handle a nasty breakup.  He is a really nice guy too, not a meathead scumbag.  SLAP is comprised of a variety of individuals who have unique experiences.  And yet, I am confident that there are many who have experienced a very similar type of situation as yourself.  So, you are not alone in that regard.   

Dude, FUCK alcohol, but DOUBLE FUCK crack. 

FTS. You are going to thrive in this time of adversity and in time give your child the step mother they deserve. A step mother that your ex absolutely hates because she is better than her in every way, shape, and form. 

Nothing wrong with 2 tylenol PM to go to sleep early, in turn wake up early, and get/stay productive.

[iKobrakai]

Had 8 years on the 8:th.

To my squad; keep going.

[AlexOlsonsDashiki]

@pugmaster @algar thanks for the kind words.

Yesterday was okay towards the end of the day, waking up today was hard. The whole situation feels complicated but broken down in it’s simplest terms is she doesn’t feel she will be happy with me long term, and the family I wanted for my daughter isn’t going to happen.

I don’t wish ill will towards my ex. Not right now. I want her to be feeling what I feel, but that’s because I feel alone. Lots of sober men told me this pain is necessary though and unfortunately I’m going to have to feel it. That doesn’t make it right/fair/easy. It’s just the fact of the matter.

I’m staying at our old place right now with my daughter but will probably be the one to move out. I would like to say I can stay here but I don’t know. We are trying to keep custody and stuff out of the courts. I don’t want any parent resentful at the other. I really want to come out of this a better person. I really want to make it through this to know I can.

I’m rambling at this point. I’m just hurting. Thank you for your responses.

@algar let’s talk sometime. I’d love to share my experience getting sober with you. It’s possible to get sober. It’s possible to stay sober. You let me know when you’re ready to hear it, and I’m here to listen to you as well. No judgement, no expectations on my end. Just offering to you what someone offered to me when I was in your position