real confessions

[pencil]

nah i totally think prescription pills are a pretty fucked situation.  My girls on anti depressants and truly doesnt think she can live life without them and I do not believe they do jack shit.  I was on the same shit as her for a minute but I got off that shit real fast.  Having to take the same thing everyday in order to "function" is mind control at its finest.  This is almost solely how I justify the occasional abuse of opiates and (used to)benzos, because even using them as prescribed is gonna fuck you up in the head.  I think these are a bit different than adderall or SSRIs but I still think that having to take something everyday really fucks with your head

[L33Tg33k]

A lot of stupid has suddenly happened in this thread. I didn't know there were so many licensed psychiatrists on Slap.

[pencil]

A lot of stupid has suddenly happened in this thread. I didn't know there were so many licensed psychiatrists on Slap.

lol no doubt i definitely went off on a high tangent

[band]

okay so i guess ill confess something now

Im full time player/part time hater

I am indeed

[pencil]

okay so i guess ill confess something now

Im full time player/part time hater

I am indeed

bump

[tobey]

so i just spent my first night at the new house. it isnt that bad at all i was able to sleep and relax so im kind of looking towards whats going to happen next. I think im going to lay off the drinking again, just in till new years or maybe ill wait longer but i faced the challenged head on and i was SOBER!! I just built it up in my head before i was moving and that was freaking me out the most. Thank you all for your suggestions and comments much appreciated

edit: when i say sober i still took my meds but i only had to take half of one as an extra. thought i was going to be a lot worst

[ThugWaffle]

so i just spent my first night at the new house. it isnt that bad at all i was able to sleep and relax so im kind of looking towards whats going to happen next. I think im going to lay off the drinking again, just in till new years or maybe ill wait longer but i faced the challenged head on and i was SOBER!! I just built it up in my head before i was moving and that was freaking me out the most. Thank you all for your suggestions and comments much appreciated

edit: when i say sober i still took my meds but i only had to take half of one as an extra. thought i was going to be a lot worst

Great to hear man. Keep on keeping on my friend.

[Iceman]

Expand Quote

I have a speech impediment where I can't pronounce the letter R correctly (its pronounced differently in my first language than in english). I was bullied about it when I was younger and it made me really self-concious. I went to speech threapy for years because of it but it didn't help.

These days I don't make such a great deal out of it, but sometimes it makes introducing myself annoying/anxiety-provoking because all of my names have R:s in it and people don't always understand my name so I have to keep repeating it and it does make me feel kind of dumb sometimes, even though it shouldn't.

Oh, and I suppose it's an anatomical issue because I had surgery for it when I was little where  they cut something on my tongue (frenulum?). I remember that the assistant to the surgeon forgot to use proper anaesthetics and the two of them bickering about it after he had operated on me.

[close]

Hi Bronson, Where did you grow up and where do you live now?

How long did you receive speech therapy and at what age did you start?

ASL?

[Bronson]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

I have a speech impediment where I can't pronounce the letter R correctly (its pronounced differently in my first language than in english). I was bullied about it when I was younger and it made me really self-concious. I went to speech threapy for years because of it but it didn't help.

These days I don't make such a great deal out of it, but sometimes it makes introducing myself annoying/anxiety-provoking because all of my names have R:s in it and people don't always understand my name so I have to keep repeating it and it does make me feel kind of dumb sometimes, even though it shouldn't.

Oh, and I suppose it's an anatomical issue because I had surgery for it when I was little where  they cut something on my tongue (frenulum?). I remember that the assistant to the surgeon forgot to use proper anaesthetics and the two of them bickering about it after he had operated on me.

[close]

Hi Bronson, Where did you grow up and where do you live now?

How long did you receive speech therapy and at what age did you start?

[close]

ASL?

[close]

I am curious because I am a SLP.  As a function of that, I am interested in how services are provided, both domestically and internationally.  Many SLAP posters are in other countries, so differences may exist in how they address speech/language goals.

Hi.

What is an SLP?

I grew up in Finland and am also living there currently.

I started receiving speech therapy when I was about 7 if I remember correctly. I think it lasted for about two years.

[SHARPSHOOTER]

I confess yesterday my friends and I were drunk at the park when an old lady came by taking pictures of us. Of course we all got her to take pictures of us drinking beers but thats not what I'm confessing. Minutes later she told me it was her 90th birthday and I totally asked her if she wanted to kiss. Why I asked I have no idea. Maybe I wanted an old dusty notch on my belt? Secret passion for seniors?

[Aidan Clarke]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

I have a speech impediment where I can't pronounce the letter R correctly (its pronounced differently in my first language than in english). I was bullied about it when I was younger and it made me really self-concious. I went to speech threapy for years because of it but it didn't help.

These days I don't make such a great deal out of it, but sometimes it makes introducing myself annoying/anxiety-provoking because all of my names have R:s in it and people don't always understand my name so I have to keep repeating it and it does make me feel kind of dumb sometimes, even though it shouldn't.

Oh, and I suppose it's an anatomical issue because I had surgery for it when I was little where  they cut something on my tongue (frenulum?). I remember that the assistant to the surgeon forgot to use proper anaesthetics and the two of them bickering about it after he had operated on me.

[close]

Hi Bronson, Where did you grow up and where do you live now?

How long did you receive speech therapy and at what age did you start?

[close]

ASL?

[close]

I am curious because I am a SLP.  As a function of that, I am interested in how services are provided, both domestically and internationally.  Many SLAP posters are in other countries, so differences may exist in how they address speech/language goals.

[close]

Hi.

What is an SLP?

I grew up in Finland and am also living there currently.

I started receiving speech therapy when I was about 7 if I remember correctly. I think it lasted for about two years.

[close]

Hi Bronson,

SLP stands for speech language pathologist.  SLPs are  the ones who provides speech and language therapy for the most part (in the u.s. anyway).  If it makes you feel any better, the /r/ sound is one of the last sounds acquired developmentally (the normative data varies greatly from 6-10 years of age).  Also, it is perhaps the most challenging speech sound error to address from a clinician stand point, or at least it is with very young children.  From what I gather from your post it sounds like it continues to bother you.  However, speech sound production is a motor activity and therefore you could stand to benefit from therapy if you wish to pursue it.  I would be surprised if you did not make gains, although it would take some time and conscious effort on your part to relearn the tongue placement. 

I understand why your parents may have chosen to stop speech therapy when you were 9.  I am willing to bet that it had no impact on your academic performance and the progress in speech was not what they assumed it would be. 


That is really interesting that the /r/ sound in Finnish is different than it is in english!  I was unaware of that.  After looking a bit online, is it the "trill /r/" specifically that you are talking about?

http://www.wikihow.com/Roll-Your-%22R%22s

dam i want fuck

[jonnysheen]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

"wine is fine but whisky's quicker"

I got a 22 year old son who used to be a ripper. Now he's on methodone and living in my basement: constantly in and out of trouble. This thread gives me some serious insight into the mind of todays youth. Evryone thinks every problem can be solved with a pill. Most people don't even see that the drugs and/or alcohol just makes depression/anxiety that much worse. You're being conditioned to believe you need all that shit(aderol and such). My girlfriends teenage daughter swears she needs aderol to be able to study. I told her if you weren't stoned all the damned time you'd be able to focus and study without drugs...I digress. I guess my point is why don't ya'll try getting clean. Then look at your problems with a clear mind. Set short term goals and learn to feel the satisfaction and sense of accomplishment you get from achieving them(hell even a new skate trick). Don't be a doped up sheep. Thats what society wants, a bunch of doped up dependant sheep. Wake up and take your life by the balls!

[close]

Thank you

[close]

[close]

dude smoke a joint and chill out brah

[close]

Don't get me wrong guys. I'll hit some weed every now and then when the time is right. I'm not a preacher or a choir boy by any means. Just saying prescription meds are a means of controlling the masses. If you all want to be slaves be my guest.

It’s the MTV generation.  In other words the youth of today can sit in front of a screen and get instant satisfaction from TV, Internet and Video Games.    You don’t need to have a short term goal of reading a book because  you can get a ‘hit’ from different outlets, which are more profitable too.

Everybody wants to get high.  Athletes and sportspeople are the biggest addicts as they try and get high every day/weekend by beating there personal best or the other team.   Having a bunch of young people have a short attention span and being able to get high by another means has long term effects such as mental health problems.   If you’ve learnt that you can get by being spoon fed you don’t have to achieve anything,  just consume until it’s too late.

[ROCKxADIO420]

lol.

[JB]

started writing this in another thread and realized its probably better fitting in here.

My last year of high school. I still skated often but it was not as big a priority as just spending time with all my friends (some still skated and some didn't at that point). Strangely, those were some of the best times in my life. Has anyone else had times where they enjoyed life more without skating?

between 18 and 19 when i partied a lot. during the summer if i wasnt at work, id be out with my friends getting fucked up. i had a lot of friends back then so on any given day there was always something fun going on. pretty much every summer id slow down my skating to go party with my friends and would only skate if nothing else was going on. if i had a choice to go hang out on the lake and drink beer or go to the skatepark, i wouldve choosen the lake every time. thinking about it now, if my parents didnt put me through college and not really cared what i did after high school, i wouldve totally piled out with partying. i was pretty bad a few years ago, id black out constantly and they stopped being fun black outs. id get angry and self destructive. my friends would get pissed at me and i couldnt understand why because when your fucked up you dont think your doing anything wrong. as far as i was concerned, i was just having fun, and it was everyone elses loss if they werent drinking at my pace. after a while, your friends get sick of having to watch out for you and take care of you ever time they see you. i used to have a really fun social life. id see my friends a lot and we always had a lot of fun, but i feel like i kinda made a name for myself as being the most fucked up guy in the group. id be sober and see people i hadnt seen in a while and they would say shit like "wow, your not black out drunk? this is crazy!" thats what people knew me as and i just didnt want to be that guy anymore. then i went though the whole girlfriend break up depressed thing and that made it worse. drinking was the only thing that really made me feel good, and once i got started i wasnt stopping until i passed out. id be sad all day every day then id get drunk and it was like "oh my god! im happy! DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK" then id wake up feeling worse than before. i just made a fool of myself too many times and it wasnt laughable anymore. i honestly felt super embarrassed to be around my friends and pretty much distanced myself from all of them. i quit all social media (which im proud of and i have no intentions on ever starting again). i dont keep in touch with anyone besides my girlfriend and my parents. i feel like ive gotten over the binge drinking. ive grown up a lot, im proud to be where im at. except now i feel bad that i basically hid from all the people i know and care about for like the past year. some of my friends i see every now and then, others who i used to see almost daily i havent seen or talked to in close to a year and now i feel super anxious when i think about hanging out with them like theyll be pissed because ive been a shitty friend. im supposed to see a bunch of people tonight for one of my friends birthdays and i know im going to be anxious all day, probably for no reason, but it still sucks. i feel like a shitty friend and i think about this constantly, and its probably my biggest "problem" right now. usually when i see someone i havent seen in a while its a lot of fun catching up and everything. but for some fucked up reason i feel like if i were to be called out on why ive distanced myself i need to at least have a life thats respectible, or at least as good or better than my friends. carreer, car, girlfriend, not living with my parents, paying my bills. all stupid shit that never mattered before, but i look at it now as a crutch to feel good about myself. like having a semi successful life makes up for being a shitty friend, which is a totally fucked way of thinking.

[Iceman]

started writing this in another thread and realized its probably better fitting in here.

Expand Quote

My last year of high school. I still skated often but it was not as big a priority as just spending time with all my friends (some still skated and some didn't at that point). Strangely, those were some of the best times in my life. Has anyone else had times where they enjoyed life more without skating?

[close]

between 18 and 19 when i partied a lot. during the summer if i wasnt at work, id be out with my friends getting fucked up. i had a lot of friends back then so on any given day there was always something fun going on. pretty much every summer id slow down my skating to go party with my friends and would only skate if nothing else was going on. if i had a choice to go hang out on the lake and drink beer or go to the skatepark, i wouldve choosen the lake every time. thinking about it now, if my parents didnt put me through college and not really cared what i did after high school, i wouldve totally piled out with partying. i was pretty bad a few years ago, id black out constantly and they stopped being fun black outs. id get angry and self destructive. my friends would get pissed at me and i couldnt understand why because when your fucked up you dont think your doing anything wrong. as far as i was concerned, i was just having fun, and it was everyone elses loss if they werent drinking at my pace. after a while, your friends get sick of having to watch out for you and take care of you ever time they see you. i used to have a really fun social life. id see my friends a lot and we always had a lot of fun, but i feel like i kinda made a name for myself as being the most fucked up guy in the group. id be sober and see people i hadnt seen in a while and they would say shit like "wow, your not black out drunk? this is crazy!" thats what people knew me as and i just didnt want to be that guy anymore. then i went though the whole girlfriend break up depressed thing and that made it worse. drinking was the only thing that really made me feel good, and once i got started i wasnt stopping until i passed out. id be sad all day every day then id get drunk and it was like "oh my god! im happy! DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK" then id wake up feeling worse than before. i just made a fool of myself too many times and it wasnt laughable anymore. i honestly felt super embarrassed to be around my friends and pretty much distanced myself from all of them. i quit all social media (which im proud of and i have no intentions on ever starting again). i dont keep in touch with anyone besides my girlfriend and my parents. i feel like ive gotten over the binge drinking. ive grown up a lot, im proud to be where im at. except now i feel bad that i basically hid from all the people i know and care about for like the past year. some of my friends i see every now and then, others who i used to see almost daily i havent seen or talked to in close to a year and now i feel super anxious when i think about hanging out with them like theyll be pissed because ive been a shitty friend. im supposed to see a bunch of people tonight for one of my friends birthdays and i know im going to be anxious all day, probably for no reason, but it still sucks. i feel like a shitty friend and i think about this constantly, and its probably my biggest "problem" right now. usually when i see someone i havent seen in a while its a lot of fun catching up and everything. but for some fucked up reason i feel like if i were to be called out on why ive distanced myself i need to at least have a life thats respectible, or at least as good or better than my friends. carreer, car, girlfriend, not living with my parents, paying my bills. all stupid shit that never mattered before, but i look at it now as a crutch to feel good about myself. like having a semi successful life makes up for being a shitty friend, which is a totally fucked way of thinking.

Maybe you had to remove yourself from your social circle in order to straighten out your life? Nothing to be ashamed of there. You had to do what you had to do. When you feel like you have enough self restraint, maybe you can start hanging with your old friends again. They should understand.

[ThugWaffle]

My friends have killed skating for me. It's always the same shit. I hate weed and my skatepark too.

[steam vent]

started writing this in another thread and realized its probably better fitting in here.

Expand Quote

My last year of high school. I still skated often but it was not as big a priority as just spending time with all my friends (some still skated and some didn't at that point). Strangely, those were some of the best times in my life. Has anyone else had times where they enjoyed life more without skating?

[close]

between 18 and 19 when i partied a lot. during the summer if i wasnt at work, id be out with my friends getting fucked up. i had a lot of friends back then so on any given day there was always something fun going on. pretty much every summer id slow down my skating to go party with my friends and would only skate if nothing else was going on. if i had a choice to go hang out on the lake and drink beer or go to the skatepark, i wouldve choosen the lake every time. thinking about it now, if my parents didnt put me through college and not really cared what i did after high school, i wouldve totally piled out with partying. i was pretty bad a few years ago, id black out constantly and they stopped being fun black outs. id get angry and self destructive. my friends would get pissed at me and i couldnt understand why because when your fucked up you dont think your doing anything wrong. as far as i was concerned, i was just having fun, and it was everyone elses loss if they werent drinking at my pace. after a while, your friends get sick of having to watch out for you and take care of you ever time they see you. i used to have a really fun social life. id see my friends a lot and we always had a lot of fun, but i feel like i kinda made a name for myself as being the most fucked up guy in the group. id be sober and see people i hadnt seen in a while and they would say shit like "wow, your not black out drunk? this is crazy!" thats what people knew me as and i just didnt want to be that guy anymore. then i went though the whole girlfriend break up depressed thing and that made it worse. drinking was the only thing that really made me feel good, and once i got started i wasnt stopping until i passed out. id be sad all day every day then id get drunk and it was like "oh my god! im happy! DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK" then id wake up feeling worse than before. i just made a fool of myself too many times and it wasnt laughable anymore. i honestly felt super embarrassed to be around my friends and pretty much distanced myself from all of them. i quit all social media (which im proud of and i have no intentions on ever starting again). i dont keep in touch with anyone besides my girlfriend and my parents. i feel like ive gotten over the binge drinking. ive grown up a lot, im proud to be where im at. except now i feel bad that i basically hid from all the people i know and care about for like the past year. some of my friends i see every now and then, others who i used to see almost daily i havent seen or talked to in close to a year and now i feel super anxious when i think about hanging out with them like theyll be pissed because ive been a shitty friend. im supposed to see a bunch of people tonight for one of my friends birthdays and i know im going to be anxious all day, probably for no reason, but it still sucks. i feel like a shitty friend and i think about this constantly, and its probably my biggest "problem" right now. usually when i see someone i havent seen in a while its a lot of fun catching up and everything. but for some fucked up reason i feel like if i were to be called out on why ive distanced myself i need to at least have a life thats respectible, or at least as good or better than my friends. carreer, car, girlfriend, not living with my parents, paying my bills. all stupid shit that never mattered before, but i look at it now as a crutch to feel good about myself. like having a semi successful life makes up for being a shitty friend, which is a totally fucked way of thinking.

Pretty much have been through the exact same situation, now pretty much have 1 friend who is solid as fuck, but the rest who i guess are not really friends anymore still have the same view of me even though i've gone to uni and mellowed wayyyyyy( couple j's 6-7 beers no drugs and I call it a night) the fuck out, but my reputation precedes to the point where people just straight up avoid me, but what ev's.

[escapistfool]

My girlfriend of four years and 7 months cheated on me. She goes to UCSB (fuck that dumb ass party school) and she was at a party and a guy kissed her and she let it happen. She went to another party the next day, same guy was there, he did the same thing, kissed her and let it happen. She then told him she had a boyfriend. It doesn't matter now, she broke up with me 2 days ago because of what happened. It devastated me, I never thought she would be the kind of person to do that. Her reasoning is that she doesnt see me as a boyfriend anymore, but more of a best friend. So pretty much, I got friendzoned in a relationship. This is some bullshit, we've invested and spent so much time together and got through a lot of things together for it to end over some lousy kiss. I keep thinking in my head this happened because I am her first boyfriend and she wants to experience other things. I'm being selfish and thinking to myself that I dont want any other fucking guy to be with her or even have some kind of relation to her.This is really the first time it's ever happened to me and it's a terrible feeling. For the first time in my life I feel so down. I know most of you will laugh at my misfortune and crack jokes about it, it's alright, its the internet. But if anybody wants to give me some words to get by, that would be cool.

I know its not the end of the world for me, but my thoughts and emotions are clouding my judgment and I can't think straight.
Fuck UC Santa Barbara.

[L33Tg33k]

"He kissed her". Sure, that's what happened. You've had a girl before, you can get a girl again.

[pencil]

My girlfriend of four years and 7 months cheated on me. She goes to UCSB (fuck that dumb ass party school) and she was at a party and a guy kissed her and she let it happen. She went to another party the next day, same guy was there, he did the same thing, kissed her and let it happen. She then told him she had a boyfriend. It doesn't matter now, she broke up with me 2 days ago because of what happened. It devastated me, I never thought she would be the kind of person to do that. Her reasoning is that she doesnt see me as a boyfriend anymore, but more of a best friend. So pretty much, I got friendzoned in a relationship. This is some bullshit, we've invested and spent so much time together and got through a lot of things together for it to end over some lousy kiss. I keep thinking in my head this happened because I am her first boyfriend and she wants to experience other things. I'm being selfish and thinking to myself that I dont want any other fucking guy to be with her or even have some kind of relation to her.This is really the first time it's ever happened to me and it's a terrible feeling. For the first time in my life I feel so down. I know most of you will laugh at my misfortune and crack jokes about it, it's alright, its the internet. But if anybody wants to give me some words to get by, that would be cool.

I know its not the end of the world for me, but my thoughts and emotions are clouding my judgment and I can't think straight.
Fuck UC Santa Barbara.

this scares the shit out of me so i just make sure to fuck her good, but damn if my girl actually went through and cheated on me i would be just as devastated

[escapistfool]

"He kissed her". Sure, that's what happened. You've had a girl before, you can get a girl again.

Im just over it right now at this point. All these years Ive been nothing but a good boyfriend. Heck, I even bought her a watch, an iPhone 5s, and Disneyland tickets for Christmas. Looks like Im keeping the iPhone and returning the watch. Might even think about being an asshole and taking a random girl thats been trying to get at me to Disneyland.

At this point, fuck that bitch.
But I cant help to say that I still love her more than anyone I've ever met.
It's ridiculous I know, there are other things that I should worry about that are worse but it's hard to get that thought out of my head.

[escapistfool]

Expand Quote

My girlfriend of four years and 7 months cheated on me. She goes to UCSB (fuck that dumb ass party school) and she was at a party and a guy kissed her and she let it happen. She went to another party the next day, same guy was there, he did the same thing, kissed her and let it happen. She then told him she had a boyfriend. It doesn't matter now, she broke up with me 2 days ago because of what happened. It devastated me, I never thought she would be the kind of person to do that. Her reasoning is that she doesnt see me as a boyfriend anymore, but more of a best friend. So pretty much, I got friendzoned in a relationship. This is some bullshit, we've invested and spent so much time together and got through a lot of things together for it to end over some lousy kiss. I keep thinking in my head this happened because I am her first boyfriend and she wants to experience other things. I'm being selfish and thinking to myself that I dont want any other fucking guy to be with her or even have some kind of relation to her.This is really the first time it's ever happened to me and it's a terrible feeling. For the first time in my life I feel so down. I know most of you will laugh at my misfortune and crack jokes about it, it's alright, its the internet. But if anybody wants to give me some words to get by, that would be cool.

I know its not the end of the world for me, but my thoughts and emotions are clouding my judgment and I can't think straight.
Fuck UC Santa Barbara.

[close]

this scares the shit out of me so i just make sure to fuck her good, but damn if my girl actually went through and cheated on me i would be just as devastated

If anything happens, just have it in the back of your head to expect the worst. People do need change.
If not, then I salute you man.

[steam vent]

My girlfriend of four years and 7 months cheated on me. She goes to UCSB (fuck that dumb ass party school) and she was at a party and a guy kissed her and she let it happen. She went to another party the next day, same guy was there, he did the same thing, kissed her and let it happen. She then told him she had a boyfriend. It doesn't matter now, she broke up with me 2 days ago because of what happened. It devastated me, I never thought she would be the kind of person to do that. Her reasoning is that she doesnt see me as a boyfriend anymore, but more of a best friend. So pretty much, I got friendzoned in a relationship. This is some bullshit, we've invested and spent so much time together and got through a lot of things together for it to end over some lousy kiss. I keep thinking in my head this happened because I am her first boyfriend and she wants to experience other things. I'm being selfish and thinking to myself that I dont want any other fucking guy to be with her or even have some kind of relation to her.This is really the first time it's ever happened to me and it's a terrible feeling. For the first time in my life I feel so down. I know most of you will laugh at my misfortune and crack jokes about it, it's alright, its the internet. But if anybody wants to give me some words to get by, that would be cool.

I know its not the end of the world for me, but my thoughts and emotions are clouding my judgment and I can't think straight.
Fuck UC Santa Barbara.

Holy fuck that sucks dude. Honestly don't even trip out too hard over what may or may not have happened if you can, you don't wanna get into a space where every time you try to watch porn or see a sex scene in movie you just see her getting fucked, try not think about that aspect if you can. As much as it sucks it sounds like she wants to be with other people, and is more than likely being spurred on by a new group of slutty drunken friends, and the best friend shit is just a lie and a cowardly way out imo. �Cut and run for a while anyway, she sounds like she's more into her "new life" thing than being with you for the time being and if your not cool with that, which I'm sure you're not, there is really no point in trying to be friends imo. All that being said Im not sure how valid it is for me to be giving advice, since all my experience has only shown what not to do lol. If you have creative outlets pursue them to the the fullest or do something you've wanted to do but have been putting off. Good luck with it though man, just remember on the shittiest days the next one will probably be better!

[escapistfool]

Expand Quote

My girlfriend of four years and 7 months cheated on me. She goes to UCSB (fuck that dumb ass party school) and she was at a party and a guy kissed her and she let it happen. She went to another party the next day, same guy was there, he did the same thing, kissed her and let it happen. She then told him she had a boyfriend. It doesn't matter now, she broke up with me 2 days ago because of what happened. It devastated me, I never thought she would be the kind of person to do that. Her reasoning is that she doesnt see me as a boyfriend anymore, but more of a best friend. So pretty much, I got friendzoned in a relationship. This is some bullshit, we've invested and spent so much time together and got through a lot of things together for it to end over some lousy kiss. I keep thinking in my head this happened because I am her first boyfriend and she wants to experience other things. I'm being selfish and thinking to myself that I dont want any other fucking guy to be with her or even have some kind of relation to her.This is really the first time it's ever happened to me and it's a terrible feeling. For the first time in my life I feel so down. I know most of you will laugh at my misfortune and crack jokes about it, it's alright, its the internet. But if anybody wants to give me some words to get by, that would be cool.

I know its not the end of the world for me, but my thoughts and emotions are clouding my judgment and I can't think straight.
Fuck UC Santa Barbara.

[close]

Holy fuck that sucks dude. Honestly don't even trip out too hard over what may or may not have happened if you can, you don't wanna get into a space where every time you try to watch porn or see a sex scene in movie you just see her getting fucked, try not think about that aspect if you can. As much as it sucks it sounds like she wants to be with other people, and is more than likely being spurred on by a new group of slutty drunken friends, and the best friend shit is just a lie and a cowardly way out imo. �Cut and run for a while anyway, she sounds like she's more into her "new life" thing than being with you for the time being and if your not cool with that, which I'm sure you're not, there is really no point in trying to be friends imo. All that being said Im not sure how valid it is for me to be giving advice, since all my experience has only shown what not to do lol. If you have creative outlets pursue them to the the fullest or do something you've wanted to do but have been putting off. Good luck with it though man, just remember on the shittiest days the next one will probably be better!

I sincerely do appreciate your words man. I'm sure it will take a lot of time. But if we're really supposed to be together, maybe time will work its way back to us and rekindle things. Or maybe Im just too stupid enough to believe in fairy tales. It's ridiculous, I've had 3 girlfriends before her and had sexual relations with 2 other girls before her but this is the only time that I've ever felt like she was the only girl in the world for me.
Thank you man, I really do appreciate it.

[poorlatino]

I started taking opiates like any other kid would, surgeries, broken bones, the typical way. That was about 6 or or 7 years ago. Today December 20th, 2013. I can't go a day without taking Methadone or Heroin. I can't watch a movie, go on a walk, shower, brush my teeth, fill out an application unless I'm high. This opiate devil has ruined many good relationships I've had with beautiful girlfriends who really cared about me and stuck around even though I would steal their money or blow them off because I'm waiting for my dealer or laying in my bed sick and sneezing and shitting every 5 minutes. I used to skate everyday it was my life and in many ways it still is. I daydream about me being clean and ripping like I used to. Having a normal day without a sore body hanging out with friends and sharing 2 liters of coke. I miss those days. I miss the people I had in my life, I miss the potential I showed and the the smart witty kid I once was. I was voted class clown over 3 times in different school, won spelling bees and was popular. Now days I'm known as the kid who will rip you off or the one who "used" to be a really cool kid. I don't have days anymore I have sickness and when i'm not sick I'm clouded by opiate abuse, blankly sitting on a couch in my moms basement watching movies and reading books. I don't talk as much as I used to, I don't do anything like I was able to. I miss the person I was and the person I was certain I would become. I've hurt my family  in many ways, and take advantage of anyone I can. Deep down i know it's wrong but these drugs that have tied me down won't let me leave. I'm scared to get clean because I still love getting high. It's scary and I wonder if I will ever be able to see myself in the mirror again, that bright young beautiful kid I was with a huge smile ready to take on the world. I'm only 22 so in the distance I can see the light of hope, I just hope I make it in time before I'm dead or in jail. I'm sorry friends for taking your parents medicine out of their cabinet I'm sorry Hayden (my first awesome girlfriend) for stealing your moms pills (I never got caught but I know drugs are the reason were not together anymore) I'm sorry to all my family for taking money from you and feeding you lies. I'm Sorry Danny (me) for doing this to you, you hd a rough childhood I didn't mean to make life worse as you got older. I'll see you soon buddy. Stay Golden

[escapistfool]

I started taking opiates like any other kid would, surgeries, broken bones, the typical way. That was about 6 or or 7 years ago. Today December 20th, 2013. I can't go a day without taking Methadone or Heroin. I can't watch a movie, go on a walk, shower, brush my teeth, fill out an application unless I'm high. This opiate devil has ruined many good relationships I've had with beautiful girlfriends who really cared about me and stuck around even though I would steal their money or blow them off because I'm waiting for my dealer or laying in my bed sick and sneezing and shitting every 5 minutes. I used to skate everyday it was my life and in many ways it still is. I daydream about me being clean and ripping like I used to. Having a normal day without a sore body hanging out with friends and sharing 2 liters of coke. I miss those days. I miss the people I had in my life, I miss the potential I showed and the the smart witty kid I once was. I was voted class clown over 3 times in different school, won spelling bees and was popular. Now days I'm known as the kid who will rip you off or the one who "used" to be a really cool kid. I don't have days anymore I have sickness and when i'm not sick I'm clouded by opiate abuse, blankly sitting on a couch in my moms basement watching movies and reading books. I don't talk as much as I used to, I don't do anything like I was able to. I miss the person I was and the person I was certain I would become. I've hurt my family  in many ways, and take advantage of anyone I can. Deep down i know it's wrong but these drugs that have tied me down won't let me leave. I'm scared to get clean because I still love getting high. It's scary and I wonder if I will ever be able to see myself in the mirror again, that bright young beautiful kid I was with a huge smile ready to take on the world. I'm only 22 so in the distance I can see the light of hope, I just hope I make it in time before I'm dead or in jail. I'm sorry friends for taking your parents medicine out of their cabinet I'm sorry Hayden (my first awesome girlfriend) for stealing your moms pills (I never got caught but I know drugs are the reason were not together anymore) I'm sorry to all my family for taking money from you and feeding you lies. I'm Sorry Danny (me) for doing this to you, you hd a rough childhood I didn't mean to make life worse as you got older. I'll see you soon buddy. Stay Golden

Keep your head up buddy. It's time to change, you're so young you have so much to look forward to. I know its easier said than done but don't let drugs be the better part of you. Everyone loves you, but its time to love yourself back. Try to get clean. Skate more. Find a new hobby. Anything to distract you from the demons running through your veins.

[poorlatino]

I appreciate your reply man. That was the first time  I've ever wrote something down about my addiction. It's hard to face. I don't even have a skateboard anymore, I knew if I had one it would help me tremendously. I don't even know where to start to find new hobbies because I've been out of the loop for so long and I have no money to my name. I understand what your saying though. I really appreciate you reaching out it means a lot. I don't wanna too sappy on the message boards I just thought it would help me write something down, and even that paragraph I wrote helped. Thanks for the support Escapist. It means a lot. I'm scared to get clean, I know it's not supposed to be easy I just feel weak and useless. It's got to end sometime I know that. I want to skate and be happy again, even get a shitty job. I need to make a change, I know I do, but I always end up going back to drugs. I think I need a rehab like a 90 program at least. It's very expensive tho. Thanks for your words man.

[steam vent]

I appreciate your reply man. That was the first time  I've ever wrote something down about my addiction. It's hard to face. I don't even have a skateboard anymore, I knew if I had one it would help me tremendously. I don't even know where to start to find new hobbies because I've been out of the loop for so long and I have no money to my name. I understand what your saying though. I really appreciate you reaching out it means a lot. I don't wanna too sappy on the message boards I just thought it would help me write something down, and even that paragraph I wrote helped. Thanks for the support Escapist. It means a lot. I'm scared to get clean, I know it's not supposed to be easy I just feel weak and useless. It's got to end sometime I know that. I want to skate and be happy again, even get a shitty job. I need to make a change, I know I do, but I always end up going back to drugs. I think I need a rehab like a 90 program at least. It's very expensive tho. Thanks for your words man.

Maybe just check out whats available in your area man, get in touch if you see somethin that looks promising, it'll probably feel good, to take even a small step in a different direction, and can lead you to where you'd rather be. All the best man!   

[poorlatino]

Expand Quote

I appreciate your reply man. That was the first time  I've ever wrote something down about my addiction. It's hard to face. I don't even have a skateboard anymore, I knew if I had one it would help me tremendously. I don't even know where to start to find new hobbies because I've been out of the loop for so long and I have no money to my name. I understand what your saying though. I really appreciate you reaching out it means a lot. I don't wanna too sappy on the message boards I just thought it would help me write something down, and even that paragraph I wrote helped. Thanks for the support Escapist. It means a lot. I'm scared to get clean, I know it's not supposed to be easy I just feel weak and useless. It's got to end sometime I know that. I want to skate and be happy again, even get a shitty job. I need to make a change, I know I do, but I always end up going back to drugs. I think I need a rehab like a 90 program at least. It's very expensive tho. Thanks for your words man.

[close]

Maybe just check out whats available in your area man, get in touch if you see somethin that looks promising, it'll probably feel good, to take even a small step in a different direction, and can lead you to where you'd rather be. All the best man!   

I know of some of some groups and other places where sober people get together and do healthy things like rock climb and healthy activities.
Like I said in the last post I don't even have  a dollar, I guess I could reach out to family and make amends but I need to show that i'm ready to make a change. I will give it another shot looking into some rehabilitation. Maybe some financial support. I can't get clean on my own I'm not strong enough like Dylan Reider was . Not the  person to compare to compare myself to  AT ALL but I need some serious help. I can barely type now and it's all starting to turn into gibberish..sorry. I appreciate the support from all you tho. It's really helping me

[paraquat]

Sorry to hear that escapistfool. Bitches man... Let her go. Have a beer and push down the street and take some deep breaths and be glad you are capable of feeling things this complex, things that are non existent for many. Life, huh.