Doing this for my own therapy, Was with a women for the last hmm 4 years, she has a son who was 1 when i met her and i raised him like my own now the rad little guy is 6. Anyway she told me one morning in February that she just needed me to leave...was invited back a few weeks later then asked again to have me just move out a week after that. Got a place and then went out to dinner one evening that turned into us hooking up and then since then till now it was 2 weeks hot 1 week cold or any pattern of me staying there doing family stuff then boom cut off again. The whole time she was hanging with a guy who is her brothers wife bother Lets call him "E"...who was/is married and is going through a divorce right now and going through some shit with his own emotions. I asked her over and over if anything is going on between them and to just let me know and i will walk away.
Monday night comes and she has been weird for about a week and has been hanging with another guy from her work...i ask her again just tell me whats up and if there is anything going on as i just need to know so i can break my stupid cycle of always being there for her and the kid, again its nothing is going on. Monday night texts were weird..nice but not her.. like saying just good night and i don't know hard to explain but my gut was like nope i need to go and find out...i go to our old place..her place now and yeah shes banging the new guy she was hanging with. I was crushed... confronted her and yeah... just tears from her and what else could she say...man fucking crushing finding out that way.
I take off and get back to my place and collect my thought and do what i know I have to. This chick is great but she has a pattern of going down the wrong road and I broke that for years but her old ways are coming back but I also know that her and "E" had never hooked up, he's too much like me, a silly nice guy to do anything although i know they are both truly into each other but its so weird with divorce, family and a few other factors that they are hesitant. So i call her and make her pick up the phone after calling a few times..and i tell her i can not forgive her but she can't go back to her shitty ways of random hook ups to try and feel something and that she has to promise me that she tells "E" tomorrow about how she feels and they sort it out. I then call him in the morning and he is kinda scared at first..this dude is going through some shit I know but i tell him he has to tell her how he feels and to take care of her as i know he is a good man.
Fucking hell...i don't know why I still needed to protect her after all this shit..maybe its due to her son that I care for so much but man..since all that, i have been sad, angry, confused and anything in between. had a drank with a rad homie chick last night and she said fucking cut that shit...no more..you have done enough..more then enough and this weekend I'm taking off to hang with another chick about 4 hours away..just cruise down random roads and camp out.
Its scary and weird not being there anymore with them and just looking after me..but that's reality and just facing that I'm going to have some ups and downs, but it's what I'm faced with.