real confessions

[Thomas the Train]

It would take a life time on SLAP to explain what has plagued my mind all these years.

[L33Tg33k]

I might check myself back into psychiatric facility. I miss the juice.

[Jim and Dan]

Coming out of a 4 day bender . . .

I'm pretty sure it was the kind of stuff that has been killing people (i.e. fent laced) . . .

I needed to get that out of my system though, the whole thing was driving me nuts.

I've only used twice in the past 6 months though & would like to remain clean/sober/happy.

[shark tits]

Coming out of a 4 day bender . . .

I'm pretty sure it was the kind of stuff that has been killing people (i.e. fent laced) . . .

I needed to get that out of my system though, the whole thing was driving me nuts.

I've only used twice in the past 6 months though & would like to remain clean/sober/happy.

i fell out about a month ago, whenever last time rusty visited. i think i've copped twice since then. once just cause and the other time i had a raging toothache. it happens.

[Jim and Dan]

Expand Quote

Coming out of a 4 day bender . . .

I'm pretty sure it was the kind of stuff that has been killing people (i.e. fent laced) . . .

I needed to get that out of my system though, the whole thing was driving me nuts.

I've only used twice in the past 6 months though & would like to remain clean/sober/happy.

[close]

i fell out about a month ago, whenever last time rusty visited. i think i've copped twice since then. once just cause and the other time i had a raging toothache. it happens.

It's been a long time in "the game" (almost 8 years), hence I don't really beat myself up if I make a mistake like when I was younger.

Those fent laced bags are fucking dangerous though mate . . .

[tobey]

since i have been on new meds everything has been great, still get panic attacks but i can handle them, i even take less of my panic attack pills. But since i have been feeling so great i started drinking again, i would only drink like 2-3 times a month than my birthday came along (may) and i have been drinking about 10 times a month because my aunt and uncle moved in with us and when ever they go out to the bar they bring home a six pack and say i can have a couple, last week i drank 3/4 nights in row. Now i have been having anxiety before i go to bed like how i did before last year and it hasnt happened at all this year in till about a couple weeks ago and that is my worst anxiety ever but it only lasted for about an hour and im thinking maybe the meds aren't in full effect because i have been drinking so much. I forgot to tell my doctor about it last week when i saw him, so anybody else on medication for anxiety and how often do you drink? I will probably never quit drinking but if i set a certain amount of times i can drink a month i can live by that and probably obey it.

[L33Tg33k]

I keep trying to reach out to people and be social and shit is not working out. Nobody's ever down or it just so happens that I miss every connection. I've been getting high and watching movies by myself at the cheap theaters all the time now. I pay four bucks to get in and I'll theater hop until I get tired of it and go home. I keep trying to convince myself that unhappiness is nothing, my far fetched desires are nothing, but I can only ever shake the feeling for minutes at a time or when I distract myself with a giant screen and weed. By the way, how fucking good was Edge of Tomorrow? If anyone has put off seeing that because you think it looks like a typical Tom Cruise vehicle, do yourself a favor and check it out. The most pleasant surprise of Summer so far for sure.

[silkyjohnson]

stay up dudes, currently in a similar situation ^^^

[eSHkidd]

I keep trying to reach out to people and be social and shit is not working out. Nobody's ever down or it just so happens that I miss every connection. I've been getting high and watching movies by myself at the cheap theaters all the time now. I pay four bucks to get in and I'll theater hop until I get tired of it and go home. I keep trying to convince myself that unhappiness is nothing, my far fetched desires are nothing, but I can only ever shake the feeling for minutes at a time or when I distract myself with a giant screen and weed. By the way, how fucking good was Edge of Tomorrow? If anyone has put off seeing that because you think it looks like a typical Tom Cruise vehicle, do yourself a favor and check it out. The most pleasant surprise of Summer so far for sure.

Edge of Tomorrow was fucking awesome. Great comedy for an action movie.

[ROCKxADIO420]

leet can you go see 22 jump street and tell me if its worth downloading

[L33Tg33k]

leet can you go see 22 jump street and tell me if its worth downloading

Definitely worth. It was a very self referential and self aware comedy that constantly made fun of itself and the audience. I actually had to explain that to my dumb "friends" before. They watched it and wrote it off as the same shit comically as the Hangover franchise without understanding that it was very aware of the shittiness of many comedy franchises. They called the movie stupid when they didn't even get what they were trying to do. I do suppose that the movie was meant to please both audiences though. It's just that those in the know would like it on another level. Rottentomatoes has it averaging at 88% last I saw. Because it's an aggregate site you know that isn't just some fluke. Best movie I've seen so far on my theater kick has been How To Train Your Dragon 2. If you haven't seen it, that's the one to see/download. Shit, you should even pay for it.

[Joust Ostrich]

I was sort of hoping Vuvuzela would make a comeback for World cup season.  Just a well timed post or two.  Maybe in a dylan. thread, or the AG coke thread.




ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[fulltechnicalskizzy]

More like the vuvuZZZZZZela






























('Cause soccer's boring as Goddamn sin)



























Am I right?

[ROCKxADIO420]

its just that i havent seen how to train your dragon 1 and i think it might be a little out of my intellectual league to go into the sequel without doing any research. like how will i know who is the dragon?

[L33Tg33k]

You're just going to have to trust in your deductive reasoning skills.

[ROCKxADIO420]

nah geek that was satire, jesus fucking christ.

[L33Tg33k]

No shit?

[ThugWaffle]

That sounds amazing L33t. At least you do stuff, even if its by yourself. I rarely exit the house, aside from going to the park.

[kingpinuser]

 Doing this for my own therapy, Was with a women for the last hmm 4 years, she has a son who was 1 when i met her and i raised him like my own now the rad little guy is 6. Anyway she told me one morning in February that she just needed me to leave...was invited back a few weeks later then asked again to have me just move out a week after that. Got a place and then went out to dinner one evening that turned into us hooking up and then since then till now it was 2 weeks hot 1 week cold or any pattern of me staying there doing family stuff then boom cut off again. The whole time she was hanging with a guy who is her brothers wife bother Lets call him "E"...who was/is married and is going through a divorce right now and going through some shit with his own emotions. I asked her over and over if anything is going on between them and to just let me know and i will walk away.

Monday night comes and she has been weird for about a week and has been hanging with another guy from her work...i ask her again just tell me whats up and if there is anything going on as i just need to know so i can break my stupid cycle of always being there for her and the kid, again its nothing is going on. Monday night texts were weird..nice but not her.. like saying just good night and i don't know hard to explain but  my gut was like nope i need to go and find out...i go to our old place..her place now and yeah shes banging the new guy she was hanging with. I was crushed... confronted her and yeah... just tears from her and what else could she say...man fucking crushing finding out that way.

I take off and get back to my place and collect my thought and do what i know I have to. This chick is great but she has a pattern of going down the wrong road and I broke that for years but her old ways are coming back but I also know that her and "E" had never hooked up, he's too much like me, a silly nice guy to do anything although i know they are both truly into each other but its so weird with divorce, family and a few other factors that they are hesitant. So i call her and make her pick up the phone after calling a few times..and i tell her i can not forgive her but she can't go back to her shitty ways of random hook ups to try and feel something and that she has to promise me that she tells "E" tomorrow about how she feels and they sort it out. I then call him in the morning and he is kinda scared at first..this dude is going through some shit I know but i tell him he has to tell her how he feels and to take care of her as i know he is a good man.

Fucking hell...i don't know why I still needed to protect her after all this shit..maybe its due to her son that I care for so much but man..since all that, i have been sad, angry, confused and anything in between. had a drank with a rad homie chick last night and she said fucking cut that shit...no more..you have done enough..more then enough and this weekend I'm taking off to hang with another chick about 4 hours away..just cruise down random roads and camp out.

 Its scary and weird not being there anymore with them and just looking after me..but that's reality and just facing that I'm going to have some ups and downs, but it's what I'm faced with.

[twitchflip]

Doing this for my own therapy, Was with a women for the last hmm 4 years, she has a son who was 1 when i met her and i raised him like my own now the rad little guy is 6. Anyway she told me one morning in February that she just needed me to leave...was invited back a few weeks later then asked again to have me just move out a week after that. Got a place and then went out to dinner one evening that turned into us hooking up and then since then till now it was 2 weeks hot 1 week cold or any pattern of me staying there doing family stuff then boom cut off again. The whole time she was hanging with a guy who is her brothers wife bother Lets call him "E"...who was/is married and is going through a divorce right now and going through some shit with his own emotions. I asked her over and over if anything is going on between them and to just let me know and i will walk away.

Monday night comes and she has been weird for about a week and has been hanging with another guy from her work...i ask her again just tell me whats up and if there is anything going on as i just need to know so i can break my stupid cycle of always being there for her and the kid, again its nothing is going on. Monday night texts were weird..nice but not her.. like saying just good night and i don't know hard to explain but  my gut was like nope i need to go and find out...i go to our old place..her place now and yeah shes banging the new guy she was hanging with. I was crushed... confronted her and yeah... just tears from her and what else could she say...man fucking crushing finding out that way.

I take off and get back to my place and collect my thought and do what i know I have to. This chick is great but she has a pattern of going down the wrong road and I broke that for years but her old ways are coming back but I also know that her and "E" had never hooked up, he's too much like me, a silly nice guy to do anything although i know they are both truly into each other but its so weird with devorce, family and a few other factors that they are hesitant. So i call her and make her pick up the phone after calling a few times..and i tell her i can not forgive her but she can't go back to her shitty ways of random hook ups to try and feel something and that she has to promise me that she tells "E" tomorrow about how she feels and they sort it out. I then call him in the morning and he is kinda scared at first..this dude is going through some shit I know but i tell him he has to tell her how he feels and to take care of her as i know he is a good man.

Fucking hell...i don't know why I still needed to protect her after all this shit..maybe its due to her son that I care for so much but man..since all that i have been sad, angry, confused and anything in between. Went a drank with a rad homie chick last night and she like fucking cut that shit...no more..you have done enough..more then enough and this weekend I'm taking off to hang with another chick about 4 hours away..just cruise down random roads and camp out.

 Its scary and weird not being there anymore with them and just looking after me..but that's reality and just facing that is going to have some ups and downs, but it's what I'm faced with.

you sound like a really nice guy. I'm with your chick friend and think it may be best to cut contact with her completely. the worst thing you could do is allow yourself to be taken advantage of emotionally. she will realise what she had when it's gone. best of luck, kingpin.

[ill_Murray]

Doing this for my own therapy, Was with a women for the last hmm 4 years, she has a son who was 1 when i met her and i raised him like my own now the rad little guy is 6. Anyway she told me one morning in February that she just needed me to leave...was invited back a few weeks later then asked again to have me just move out a week after that. Got a place and then went out to dinner one evening that turned into us hooking up and then since then till now it was 2 weeks hot 1 week cold or any pattern of me staying there doing family stuff then boom cut off again. The whole time she was hanging with a guy who is her brothers wife bother Lets call him "E"...who was/is married and is going through a divorce right now and going through some shit with his own emotions. I asked her over and over if anything is going on between them and to just let me know and i will walk away.

Monday night comes and she has been weird for about a week and has been hanging with another guy from her work...i ask her again just tell me whats up and if there is anything going on as i just need to know so i can break my stupid cycle of always being there for her and the kid, again its nothing is going on. Monday night texts were weird..nice but not her.. like saying just good night and i don't know hard to explain but  my gut was like nope i need to go and find out...i go to our old place..her place now and yeah shes banging the new guy she was hanging with. I was crushed... confronted her and yeah... just tears from her and what else could she say...man fucking crushing finding out that way.

I take off and get back to my place and collect my thought and do what i know I have to. This chick is great but she has a pattern of going down the wrong road and I broke that for years but her old ways are coming back but I also know that her and "E" had never hooked up, he's too much like me, a silly nice guy to do anything although i know they are both truly into each other but its so weird with devorce, family and a few other factors that they are hesitant. So i call her and make her pick up the phone after calling a few times..and i tell her i can not forgive her but she can't go back to her shitty ways of random hook ups to try and feel something and that she has to promise me that she tells "E" tomorrow about how she feels and they sort it out. I then call him in the morning and he is kinda scared at first..this dude is going through some shit I know but i tell him he has to tell her how he feels and to take care of her as i know he is a good man.

Fucking hell...i don't know why I still needed to protect her after all this shit..maybe its due to her son that I care for so much but man..since all that i have been sad, angry, confused and anything in between. Went a drank with a rad homie chick last night and she like fucking cut that shit...no more..you have done enough..more then enough and this weekend I'm taking off to hang with another chick about 4 hours away..just cruise down random roads and camp out.

 Its scary and weird not being there anymore with them and just looking after me..but that's reality and just facing that is going to have some ups and downs, but it's what I'm faced with.

Damn dude, super harsh.  Like Twitch said though you sound like a pretty good human being, obviously it'll take some time to get passed a 4 year stint of constantly having those people in your life.  Soon you'll find yourself somewhere else with someone else and this shit won't matter.  Don't wallow, get out there and live, it's the only way to move forward.

[JB]

sorry to hear that kingpinuser. i think all i can say is "thats life" man. you can only do so much to help out the people you know and love, and even when you give them the world, that might not be enough for them to stick around with you. im sure the intentions you have for this girl and her son are the best for them both, but shes always going to make decisions for herself and they might not always be what you think is best. honestly, this might be one of those situations thats just really shitty. an end to something that was once great.

going off what you wrote, this girl doesnt sounds like someone whos going to be down with you the way you might need her to be if you two ended up sticking together. im sure youre super bummed, and i know if i get bummed out on my girlfriend i can talk sort of badly about her just because im upset, so for all i know she could actually be a really great girl. but i think what you need to think about is if shes going to be a good influence on your life in the long run, and not just you being the good influence in hers. right now it sounds like shes just stressing you out, and you dont need that.

id give it a little bit of a break for now. its always really hard to make a clean break, and id never tell anyone to just drop everything and forget about the person they were in a relationship with because i know thats practically impossible to do. shit sucks man, but dont let it consume you.

[kingpinuser]

sorry to hear that kingpinuser. i think all i can say is "thats life" man. you can only do so much to help out the people you know and love, and even when you give them the world, that might not be enough for them to stick around with you. im sure the intentions you have for this girl and her son are the best for them both, but shes always going to make decisions for herself and they might not always be what you think is best. honestly, this might be one of those situations thats just really shitty. an end to something that was once great.

going off what you wrote, this girl doesnt sounds like someone whos going to be down with you the way you might need her to be if you two ended up sticking together. im sure youre super bummed, and i know if i get bummed out on my girlfriend i can talk sort of badly about her just because im upset, so for all i know she could actually be a really great girl. but i think what you need to think about is if shes going to be a good influence on your life in the long run, and not just you being the good influence in hers. right now it sounds like shes just stressing you out, and you dont need that.

id give it a little bit of a break for now. its always really hard to make a clean break, and id never tell anyone to just drop everything and forget about the person they were in a relationship with because i know thats practically impossible to do. shit sucks man, but dont let it consume you.

Thanks twitchflip, ill_Murray and JB Everything for all that has been said and it is all very spot on. The sickness feeling and anger of what i walked in on is pretty much hitting me now. The stress has been crazy and my parents have been super worried about me with everything that was going on...they saw the stress eating away, my mom was the first person to say I don't think you really did want to marry her... as amazing, rad, and serious a beautiful women she has some huge highs which are great times but the lows are hard to deal with and has taken a toll on me, she has a hard time opening up, Usually during these times i would bring the kid out to the park or solo adventures and just play ninja missions and yeah..going to miss that shit a lot. Anyways I'm rolling through the punches in me at this moment while at work. I got two tickets to see Deer Tick that we were planning on going to...Two options now..find another person which i should do or give the tickets up...i got a day to decide.

[ill_Murray]

Expand Quote

sorry to hear that kingpinuser. i think all i can say is "thats life" man. you can only do so much to help out the people you know and love, and even when you give them the world, that might not be enough for them to stick around with you. im sure the intentions you have for this girl and her son are the best for them both, but shes always going to make decisions for herself and they might not always be what you think is best. honestly, this might be one of those situations thats just really shitty. an end to something that was once great.

going off what you wrote, this girl doesnt sounds like someone whos going to be down with you the way you might need her to be if you two ended up sticking together. im sure youre super bummed, and i know if i get bummed out on my girlfriend i can talk sort of badly about her just because im upset, so for all i know she could actually be a really great girl. but i think what you need to think about is if shes going to be a good influence on your life in the long run, and not just you being the good influence in hers. right now it sounds like shes just stressing you out, and you dont need that.

id give it a little bit of a break for now. its always really hard to make a clean break, and id never tell anyone to just drop everything and forget about the person they were in a relationship with because i know thats practically impossible to do. shit sucks man, but dont let it consume you.

[close]

Thanks twitchflip, ill_Murray and JB Everything for all that has been said and it is all very spot on. The sickness feeling and anger of what i walked in on is pretty much hitting me now. The stress has been crazy and my parents have been super worried about me with everything that was going on...they saw the stress eating away, my mom was the first person to say I don't think you really did want to marry her... as amazing, rad, and serious a beautiful women she has some huge highs which are great times but the lows are hard to deal with and has taken a toll on me, she has a hard time opening up, Usually during these times i would bring the kid out to the park or solo adventures and just play ninja missions and yeah..going to miss that shit a lot. Anyways I'm rolling through the punches in me at this moment while at work. I got two tickets to see Deer Tick that we were planning on going to...Two options now..find another person which i should do or give the tickets up...i got a day to decide.

You find another person and you go enjoy that god damn concert is what you do!
Seriously though, there should be more people like you man, that kid was lucky to have you for the years that he did for sure. 
You've got tons of time to skate now though.

[arthurspooner]

That blows kingpin. I hope this start to look up really soon for you.

I'd say go to the Deer Tick concert! Don't give them up. Deer Tick rules. That'll get your mind off of things at least for a few hours.

[JB]

Expand Quote

sorry to hear that kingpinuser. i think all i can say is "thats life" man. you can only do so much to help out the people you know and love, and even when you give them the world, that might not be enough for them to stick around with you. im sure the intentions you have for this girl and her son are the best for them both, but shes always going to make decisions for herself and they might not always be what you think is best. honestly, this might be one of those situations thats just really shitty. an end to something that was once great.

going off what you wrote, this girl doesnt sounds like someone whos going to be down with you the way you might need her to be if you two ended up sticking together. im sure youre super bummed, and i know if i get bummed out on my girlfriend i can talk sort of badly about her just because im upset, so for all i know she could actually be a really great girl. but i think what you need to think about is if shes going to be a good influence on your life in the long run, and not just you being the good influence in hers. right now it sounds like shes just stressing you out, and you dont need that.

id give it a little bit of a break for now. its always really hard to make a clean break, and id never tell anyone to just drop everything and forget about the person they were in a relationship with because i know thats practically impossible to do. shit sucks man, but dont let it consume you.

[close]

Thanks twitchflip, ill_Murray and JB Everything for all that has been said and it is all very spot on. The sickness feeling and anger of what i walked in on is pretty much hitting me now. The stress has been crazy and my parents have been super worried about me with everything that was going on...they saw the stress eating away, my mom was the first person to say I don't think you really did want to marry her... as amazing, rad, and serious a beautiful women she has some huge highs which are great times but the lows are hard to deal with and has taken a toll on me, she has a hard time opening up, Usually during these times i would bring the kid out to the park or solo adventures and just play ninja missions and yeah..going to miss that shit a lot. Anyways I'm rolling through the punches in me at this moment while at work. I got two tickets to see Deer Tick that we were planning on going to...Two options now..find another person which i should do or give the tickets up...i got a day to decide.

go to the show. if you dont have anyone to go with, just go alone. fuck it, you might be surprised how much fun you have going by yourself. maybe hit the bars a bit early, if you see someone who looks like they might be down, toss the ticket to them. you dont even have to hang out with them at the show, but you might make their day by just being the guy who gave them a free ticket.

[kingpinuser]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

sorry to hear that kingpinuser. i think all i can say is "thats life" man. you can only do so much to help out the people you know and love, and even when you give them the world, that might not be enough for them to stick around with you. im sure the intentions you have for this girl and her son are the best for them both, but shes always going to make decisions for herself and they might not always be what you think is best. honestly, this might be one of those situations thats just really shitty. an end to something that was once great.

going off what you wrote, this girl doesnt sounds like someone whos going to be down with you the way you might need her to be if you two ended up sticking together. im sure youre super bummed, and i know if i get bummed out on my girlfriend i can talk sort of badly about her just because im upset, so for all i know she could actually be a really great girl. but i think what you need to think about is if shes going to be a good influence on your life in the long run, and not just you being the good influence in hers. right now it sounds like shes just stressing you out, and you dont need that.

id give it a little bit of a break for now. its always really hard to make a clean break, and id never tell anyone to just drop everything and forget about the person they were in a relationship with because i know thats practically impossible to do. shit sucks man, but dont let it consume you.

[close]

Thanks twitchflip, ill_Murray and JB Everything for all that has been said and it is all very spot on. The sickness feeling and anger of what i walked in on is pretty much hitting me now. The stress has been crazy and my parents have been super worried about me with everything that was going on...they saw the stress eating away, my mom was the first person to say I don't think you really did want to marry her... as amazing, rad, and serious a beautiful women she has some huge highs which are great times but the lows are hard to deal with and has taken a toll on me, she has a hard time opening up, Usually during these times i would bring the kid out to the park or solo adventures and just play ninja missions and yeah..going to miss that shit a lot. Anyways I'm rolling through the punches in me at this moment while at work. I got two tickets to see Deer Tick that we were planning on going to...Two options now..find another person which i should do or give the tickets up...i got a day to decide.

[close]

You find another person and you go enjoy that god damn concert is what you do!
Seriously though, there should be more people like you man, that kid was lucky to have you for the years that he did for sure. 
You've got tons of time to skate now though.

Thanks again guys, I wont give up the tickets and i know more then a few people to ask...i might try and find someone random just to have a different experience. About the skating...i am now back pushing on my board after a knee problem that lasted years and then a random Achilles injury to the same leg..had my homie shoot a pic of me just pushing as everything else is taking more time but it just feels amazing pushing again...heres the pic, i don't post on any of the main Slap pages too often, I have been lurking since damn..2002 i think..32 years old so yeah it has been that long, and its dog eat dog world on some of these topics. But again thanks so much...the head and body still hurts but i hope tonight will be a better sleep. 

[SodaJerk]

Kingpinuser, it's a harsh situation but the advice the guys have given you about a nice clean cut and getting on with life is definitely the best thing right now. If you do end up giving the Deer Tick ticket to a stranger that act of random kindness can cause an incredible feeling of stoke for both parties and will come back in good karma. Keep your head up and get ready for new experiences.

[L33Tg33k]

Took me almost 4 hours to masturbate last night.

[SodaJerk]

Took me almost 4 hours to masturbate last night.

That's some intense Shake Weight workout. Hope you switched up arms or you're gonna have one mad diesel lopsided arm.