real confessions

[Early Hokus Pokus]

She is 17 and I am 36.  Should I fuck her? She looks like one of those Dysney kids. All tanned and tight. I swear a shinning light from the heavens would shine out of her perfect box if I got her pants off.

lol yolo

[Tarela]

just told a girl that i would marry her and rasie her unbotn child as my own....... I only have had six beers?

[perverted super otaku!]

just told a girl that i would marry her and rasie her unbotn child as my own....... I only have had six beers?

i thought i had a flare for the dramatic but u blew right by me with this one, what did she think of that anyway?

[Rumpleforeskin]

dude fuck her..  17 year olds are awesome.  ))))))

[Jim and Dan]

i turned my sawzall on and almost put it to my leg but got sketched so i googled 'sawzall injuries' cause i wanted a good 'cry for help' that would be worth a shot of morphine but not permanently fuck up my muscles, tendons and whatever else makes me the average skater i am. for anyways, i didn't learn anything and even though i'd been getting lightheaded every time i stand up i forced myself down to honey farms and seen a kid ollie an 8.5 foot sidewalk out the gate. it was trash night which is my favorite  night so we all did stuff over garbage, played 2 games of SKATE [i won one, pitching fire!] and got kicked down some marb lights. tgitrashnight and thank goodness i didn't waste away in the ER w/ some DIY injury.

I remember hearing second-hand stories from friends about fiends having other people try to break their backs or run them over with cars in an attempt to get "hooked-up" medically for life, none ever worked out . . . 

I can understand the sentiment though, when you don't mind an injury for the prescription trade-off . . .

[shark tits]

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i turned my sawzall on and almost put it to my leg but got sketched so i googled 'sawzall injuries' cause i wanted a good 'cry for help' that would be worth a shot of morphine but not permanently fuck up my muscles, tendons and whatever else makes me the average skater i am. for anyways, i didn't learn anything and even though i'd been getting lightheaded every time i stand up i forced myself down to honey farms and seen a kid ollie an 8.5 foot sidewalk out the gate. it was trash night which is my favorite  night so we all did stuff over garbage, played 2 games of SKATE [i won one, pitching fire!] and got kicked down some marb lights. tgitrashnight and thank goodness i didn't waste away in the ER w/ some DIY injury.

[close]

I remember hearing second-hand stories from friends about fiends having other people try to break their backs or run them over with cars in an attempt to get "hooked-up" medically for life, none ever worked out . . . 

I can understand the sentiment though, when you don't mind an injury for the prescription trade-off . . .

heh, my old nextdoor neighbor [cool one, not the asshole who died recently] smashed his buddy's hand w/ a sledgehammer [cause cardoor wasn't good enough they tried that first] and got him vikes or percs to excuse dirty urine and save dude from 18 months on a violation.
i'm just nutty, it was my logical leap from 'i should do a cry for help to further my ssi case cause' to 'if you're gonna go to the hospital, might as well be in physical pain and get a shot'. when i got jumped in BR they gave me  a shot of morphine and let me sleep over. that was pretty dope even though getting woke up by boots, fists and chains sucked out loud.
i got into it w/ my mother first thing in the morning and just kept getting wicked lightheaded too, frustrating.
ended up skating my ass off for 2 hours at honey farms so it was all for the best.
speaking of, i pm you my number a few wks ago. i know rusty invited you to worcester even though he's in vermont but if you're down for the ripride tomorrow send me a text. be  rad to hang out in person and shred the sites.

[Jim and Dan]

My sentiments exactly.

The number you sent me last time didn't work I believe, just pm me it again & I'll double check.

Can't make it up this weekend but next weekend is ski-free, have to save my energy for "the man" this week . . .   

[JB]

just told a girl that i would marry her and rasie her unbotn child as my own....... I only have had six beers?

best laugh ive gotten all day. i love that you ended it with a question mark too.


for me i always was asking the opposite. "i've already had 6 beers?" ive even accused my friends of drinking all my booze after i woke up from a blackout because i was the one who drank all my booze. thats happened a few times.

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

She is 17 and I am 36. 

sure why not? #notcreepyatall
in fact, i think you should bring this topic up with some other 36 yos in real life and see what they think!

[hufs calve muscles]

8 out of the 10 friends ive asked have said "fuck her"

[ill_Murray]

8 out of the 10 friends ive asked have said "fuck her"

Sticking your weiner in crazy is the best worst idea. 

[ttching!]

[Bronson]

Ive messaged about 50 women during the past week online dating, only getting two responses, both along the lines of "thanks, but no thanks". Shits tiresome.

[Coastal Fever]

Just posting to be one closer to gnarring you.

[ill_Murray]

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Ive messaged about 50 women during the past week online dating, only getting two responses, both along the lines of "thanks, but no thanks". Shits tiresome.

[close]

I get a ton of pussy off of okc, pof and tinder.  I also have sent thousands of messages, easily.  I probably get a reply 50% of the time and maybe 30% of those I will talk to for a few days. Maybe half of those I end up meeting and I fucked everyone I met but 3. Here's whats worked for me, compliment something specific on her body and tell her she seems cool or sweet. Legs, eyebrows, eyes, lips. Dont compliment her tits or asshole. Speak to her like a person but be forward, tell the bitch you want to kiss her entire body after a few back and forth messages. Tell her that your fresh out of a long term relationship and you are just trying to get out there and have fun. This makes you look like less of a scumbag.  These girls get several messages a day with guys telling them they want to fuck their throats, be a little suave. Also, getting out of a long term thing makes you seem like youre not totally infected with the herp, hiv, etc. Sometimes if the woman is just unbelievable looking but shes obviously not looking to fuck Ill send a message telling her that shes gorgeous and its too bad shes not looking for that but I hope she finds what shes looking for on there BUT if she ever wants to hang out yadayada

Anyway, this 40 yearold I fucked the other night had the scariest most metal tattoos Ive ever seen.  She had a bunch of skulls shaped like a g string around her hips and scooby doo right above her pussy.  I deleted the pic last night after showing every asshole at the bar and felt guilty. Now i wish i didnt delete it so i could show you fucking busters

Both of you need to get off all this online bullshit, you're just dulling the knife to the point where approaching a chick in real life will leave you in a puddle of your own piss.

[ill_Murray]

Nah dude. I dont get scurred but youre right that I will pass some real life girls up because it takes so much more effort. Im also not at a place where I want anything real so I can express that early on without it being awkward and creepy.  I am seeing the only girl I ever gave a shit about later today though.  Havent seen her since I left home over a year ago. so i might be done with this internet bullshit. But it probably wont work out and ill continue to try my hardest to get that herp

The best analogy I can make would be that it's like wearing glasses.  It helps you in the short term but over time it fucks your vision up even worse.  It's a trend that will leak into other areas of your life.  Maybe not you in particular because you seem to be full of confidence and bravado but a lot of other people will devolve to complete social retardation. 

[abudabi]

lost my last friend cause i told her i was really into her and she has a boyfriend
initially i tried to cold shoulder her but she confronted me. i took the pussy way out and told her that im not worth hanging out with or something along those lines. her response was "youre fucking pathetic. have a nice lonely life"
so i told her how i felt about her.
she took it pretty bad, said that if i couldnt get over her that was my own damn fault
its true but its not really my choice how i feel...
its fine cause it hurt pretty bad to be around her and not be with her (if you see what i mean)
on the other hand i pretty much want to die and dont give half a fuck about anything
no danger of me offing myself, too much of a bitch for that and i know itll pass
im just scared of my lonely looking future
really fucking scared
i dont make friends easily...she kinda sought me out, got me to come chill with her
dont think im ever gonna make another friend living like this
i dont talk to anyone at all. closest thing is facebook notifications and slap.

[perverted super otaku!]

lost my last friend cause i told her i was really into her and she has a boyfriend
initially i tried to cold shoulder her but she confronted me. i took the pussy way out and told her that im not worth hanging out with or something along those lines. her response was "youre fucking pathetic. have a nice lonely life"
so i told her how i felt about her.
she took it pretty bad, said that if i couldnt get over her that was my own damn fault
its true but its not really my choice how i feel...
its fine cause it hurt pretty bad to be around her and not be with her (if you see what i mean)
on the other hand i pretty much want to die and dont give half a fuck about anything
no danger of me offing myself, too much of a bitch for that and i know itll pass
im just scared of my lonely looking future
really fucking scared
i dont make friends easily...she kinda sought me out, got me to come chill with her
dont think im ever gonna make another friend living like this
i dont talk to anyone at all. closest thing is facebook notifications and slap.

"well [dabi] dont you know that things go in cycles, the way that Bobby Brown is just ampin like Michael"

Resist the urge to avoid making connections with people, it becomes a cycle of feeling inadequate because your a loner and keeping yourself a loner because you feel inadequate, the struggle = real but is ultimately all in your(and many other peoples) head and perhaps if you asked that random cute girl to smoke a j despite thinking it foolish initially, may be very helpful, this is the lot of the thoughtful man

[ill_Murray]

lost my last friend cause i told her i was really into her and she has a boyfriend
initially i tried to cold shoulder her but she confronted me. i took the pussy way out and told her that im not worth hanging out with or something along those lines. her response was "youre fucking pathetic. have a nice lonely life"
so i told her how i felt about her.
she took it pretty bad, said that if i couldnt get over her that was my own damn fault
its true but its not really my choice how i feel...
its fine cause it hurt pretty bad to be around her and not be with her (if you see what i mean)
on the other hand i pretty much want to die and dont give half a fuck about anything
no danger of me offing myself, too much of a bitch for that and i know itll pass
im just scared of my lonely looking future
really fucking scared
i dont make friends easily...she kinda sought me out, got me to come chill with her
dont think im ever gonna make another friend living like this
i dont talk to anyone at all. closest thing is facebook notifications and slap.

The only way other people are going to like you is if you like yourself.  That means it's time to start bettering yourself.  Eat healthier, hit the gym, try discovering more hobbies.  This stuff will force you to 1.) live a better lifestyle which will in turn make you happier 2.) get you out and around people upping your social skills and 3.) you'll find it's much easier to talk to people when you have shit to talk about. 

The other thing is delete Facebook.  All it does is show you these fake highlight reels other people are posting in hopes people will think they live interesting lives.  Of course looking at only pictures of weekends or vacations will have you feeling like you aren't doing shit.  Like PSO said, it's all in your head. 

[abudabi]

thanks for the advice, i appreciate you two taking the time to help me out

otaku, youre completely right about that. ive been keeping myself alone for far too long. it does make you feel inadequate. i know i have something to bring to the table in terms of being friends with people, its just really hard to get it out of me from spending so much time on my own.
ive been thinking about ways to meet people (unfortunately me and weed dont get along these days, weeds great for making friends)

ill, oddly enough im in the best shape of my life. im not ripped or anything but ive been skating a ton and i do pushups/sit-ups all the time. ive been eating a lot better than i used to but theres still room for a lot of improvement so thats a good point. honestly the only thing that bothers me about facebook is seeing photos of cute girls, but if i deleted it there would still be instagram, the internet and the real world to make me jealous so i think i just gotta deal with that.

i know im fucking up. that knowledge gives me hope that ill figure it out tho.

[ill_Murray]

thanks for the advice, i appreciate you two taking the time to help me out

otaku, youre completely right about that. ive been keeping myself alone for far too long. it does make you feel inadequate. i know i have something to bring to the table in terms of being friends with people, its just really hard to get it out of me from spending so much time on my own.
ive been thinking about ways to meet people (unfortunately me and weed dont get along these days, weeds great for making friends)

ill, oddly enough im in the best shape of my life. im not ripped or anything but ive been skating a ton and i do pushups/sit-ups all the time. ive been eating a lot better than i used to but theres still room for a lot of improvement so thats a good point. honestly the only thing that bothers me about facebook is seeing photos of cute girls, but if i deleted it there would still be instagram, the internet and the real world to make me jealous so i think i just gotta deal with that.

i know im fucking up. that knowledge gives me hope that ill figure it out tho.

Push ups and sit ups and stuff are great but if you actually take time to go to the gym and develop a workout routine you accomplish a couple different things.  I was the same as you, in decent shape but I started actually putting on a little muscle and it makes a world of difference with confidence which is what is the bottom line to getting chicks.  I can't stress enough how important it is to delete all social media.  I totally get what you're saying about seeing pictures of cute girls though, I hate when friends show me a picture of a girl I'll probably never meet.  What you have to do is take the jealousy you feel in real life and use that as motivation.  Life is a numbers game man, some people will like you, some people won't.  If they don't fuck em. 

[@thewilleasley]

Mannnn, thoughts about the past really fuck me up sometimes. Like usually I don't really mind talking about my mom n shit like that with other people because I've accepted it and moved on, and every things all good since I moved out from AZ but sometimes I just be high sitting there thinking about some random shit like my cat dragging in a decapitated rabbit head because she loved me and I just get allll fucked up n teary eyed. Like forreal there was so many staples in my life that lost in the past 2 years its like sometimes i don't even realize it until that cloud just comes over me and hits hard as hell. I watched that same cat i just mention come out of the womb and raised it ever since. she was about 13 years old when I held her as they put her down, so she'd be around for the majority of my life at that point, through so many different phases & eras. But yeah, that cat's dead now. That orange cat that was on my mixtape cover? dead. my first and only dog? dead. best friend i grew up skating with? dead. my grandpa who was basically my surrogate father figure? dead. Family friend who was a part of some very memorable moments in life? dead. then of course the person solely responsible for my entire existence and upbringing is dead too. The point was to have new beginning's when I moved to AZ which has been cool but at the same time its like 95% of everything that made me who am today simply just doesn't exist anymore. Those people, places, and things I've always known & identified with are either long gone or 1700 miles away. Even when i went back to my hometown for the 4th, all my favorite skate spots were fucked, key places were either torn down or replaced with something totally different (i.e. "The Cookie Shack" across the street from my middle school is now a cigar/smoke shop). Sometime it just really weirds me the fuck out because for 19 out of the 21 years I've been on this earth, that's all I'd known. I remember times where I just couldn't even stand my mom because we were basically joined at the hip forever and now when i talk about her to people out in AZ its almost as if she's some mythical creature or something. I dunno man, its like ever since I woke up to that coroner knocking on my door, my life was NEVER the same. the 2 year anniversary of her death comes on the 23rd but i swear it almost feels like 3 or 4 years ago. its like soooooo much shit has happened in that block of time that I don't even comprehend certain things until way after the fact.

[abudabi]

theres a gym pretty close to me, ive been considering it but it seems like a huge bummer. i might just buy some weights.
my brothers in a different country and facebook is the only way we ever communicate. we dont talk much but id feel like a dick if i deleted it because i know im not gonna call him or skype with him. hes not a very social person either, hes pretty hard to talk to in every medium besides fb chat.
never thought about using that jealousy in a positive way, that kinda suits my negative way of looking at things hahaha, youre on to something there.

[Rusty_Berrings]

Going to give my phone number to and attempt to date a chick that works at McDonalds.

[shark tits]

Mannnn, thoughts about the past really fuck me up sometimes. Like usually I don't really mind talking about my mom n shit like that with other people because I've accepted it and moved on, and every things all good since I moved out from AZ but sometimes I just be high sitting there thinking about some random shit like my cat dragging in a decapitated rabbit head because she loved me and I just get allll fucked up n teary eyed. Like forreal there was so many staples in my life that lost in the past 2 years its like sometimes i don't even realize it until that cloud just comes over me and hits hard as hell. I watched that same cat i just mention come out of the womb and raised it ever since. she was about 13 years old when I held her as they put her down, so she'd be around for the majority of my life at that point, through so many different phases & eras. But yeah, that cat's dead now. That orange cat that was on my mixtape cover? dead. my first and only dog? dead. best friend i grew up skating with? dead. my grandpa who was basically my surrogate father figure? dead. Family friend who was a part of some very memorable moments in life? dead. then of course the person solely responsible for my entire existence and upbringing is dead too. The point was to have new beginning's when I moved to AZ which has been cool but at the same time its like 95% of everything that made me who am today simply just doesn't exist anymore. Those people, places, and things I've always known & identified with are either long gone or 1700 miles away. Even when i went back to my hometown for the 4th, all my favorite skate spots were fucked, key places were either torn down or replaced with something totally different (i.e. "The Cookie Shack" across the street from my middle school is now a cigar/smoke shop). Sometime it just really weirds me the fuck out because for 19 out of the 21 years I've been on this earth, that's all I'd known. I remember times where I just couldn't even stand my mom because we were basically joined at the hip forever and now when i talk about her to people out in AZ its almost as if she's some mythical creature or something. I dunno man, its like ever since I woke up to that coroner knocking on my door, my life was NEVER the same. the 2 year anniversary of her death comes on the 23rd but i swear it almost feels like 3 or 4 years ago. its like soooooo much shit has happened in that block of time that I don't even comprehend certain things until way after the fact.

you had a rap album w/ a cat on the cover? you should do a rap about your deceased pets.
for serious though, sorry about your grandpa/mom. the thing i hated about phoenix is they seem to destroy their building after 20 yrs. the upside of that is it's so new you can forget whatever's plaguing you there. nothing makes people come back but distance and time makes it more manageable. you're in the right place.

[pinche gringo]

Hang in there Will. You will always have those feelings about lost loved ones, it's part of the deal. Try to stay positive and live a good life in honor of those you love and miss.

[Jim and Dan]

Going to give my phone number to and attempt to date a chick that works at McDonalds.

Fucking yes mate/I "love/hate" the way my brain operates some/most of the time/right now.

All the stuff that makes you you can also come at a cost . . .

[L33Tg33k]

Seriously considering going to a nudist resort. I think it would be a super cool experience and alleviate anxiety once I get used to it. Most places do free first time guest passes. Yes I checked their sites.

[perverted super otaku!]

Its hard to find/meet vegan girls, I don't judge but I can't really get close with an omni girl in a lifestyle kinda way, because frankly watching a girl eat a steak/burger whatever is incredibly unattractive to me. Was really nervous this weekend meeting up with this really pretty vegan girl(i knew of through mutual friends), stuttered a cpl times, mispronounced words, cpl *omfg* anxiety moments, asked yesterday if shes into to doing something again and no response as of yet. Not even bummed because hey, I tried, but fuck really pretty vegan girls ain't so easy to come by.

[JB]

Its hard to find/meet vegan girls, I don't judge but I can't really get close with an omni girl in a lifestyle kinda way, because frankly watching a girl eat a steak/burger whatever is incredibly unattractive to me. Was really nervous this weekend meeting up with this really pretty vegan girl(i knew of through mutual friends), stuttered a cpl times, mispronounced words, cpl *omfg* anxiety moments, asked yesterday if shes into to doing something again and no response as of yet. Not even bummed because hey, I tried, but fuck really pretty vegan girls ain't so easy to come by.

you tried cruising the produce section of whole foods?