real confessions

[L33Tg33k]

I have an interview next week. The job title is Office Technician and the employer is Donovan State Prison. The state's gonna get a brother in prison any way they can! Now I have to make up a bunch of references because I don't really have any of those. Whatever, what's the worst that can happen?

[Grampa]

Whatever, what's the worst that can happen?

Uhh, you end up working in a fucking prison?

[JB]

you can reference me too l33t. i got your back.

[posguy]

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Whatever, what's the worst that can happen?

[close]

Uhh, you end up working in a fucking prison?

You could end up a drug mule, killed in a prison riot, taken hostage, blackmailed, etc

[abudabi]

i dont think entry level positions (im assuming it's entry level, maybe im wrong) would deal directly with prisoners. that doesnt seem smart.

[L33Tg33k]

Hey, thanks guys. I want you guys to know that even though sometimes I get all pissy with my comments, I appreciate (most of) you. I'll probably take those who offered up on being references. I've got to make up some employment history/background first or you guys could just say I worked with/for you. We'll figure it out in PMs. As for the job, I most definitely wouldn't be interacting with the inmates, but I'm sure I'd see them around. I'm actually a little familiar with the place because my bro was incarcerated there for a time and I visited fairly regularly. The position of Office Technician is offered in pretty much every department in California, it's just that the first place to give me an actual interview is a prison.

[ROCKxADIO420]

http://dailycaller.com/2015/05/22/suit-alleges-jail-guards-allowed-to-rape-women-in-nyc-prison/

2 birds

[Beer Keg Peg Leg]

sometimes after i piss ill turn the faucet on just so people think im washing my hands but im not really

[JB]

sometimes after i piss ill turn the faucet on just so people think im washing my hands but im not really

All about this at family gatherings.

[poor alice]

I'm glad I'll never touch your keyboard you disgusting human being.

[Rusty_Berrings]

I have to get this off my chest, I don't have anyone to vent this to

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year and known her for about 2 years. I love her. She is a genuinely nice person, we have a lot of similar interests, she is intelligent (I'll admit, more than I am), we have a good sex life, extremely cute, etc. Pretty much what I want.  However, her body is just average. Unfortunately this has made me want to cheat for such a shitty vain reason. I never cheated on her but I message a former coworker and we started talking. We've been interested in each other but we were both seeing someone else. I was going to see her but changed my mind last minute. I still have these thought and they get worse. I love my girlfriend, she is amazing. I just feel like a piece of shit for    wanting to cheat on her and getting to the point of actually doing it.

I could never tell her this or dare tell her the reason why. She is self conscious about her body, but what girl isn't? I have to keep myself in check and remind myself that it's not worth losing her.

tke her to the fucking gym

[yatallfreak]

I have to get this off my chest, I don't have anyone to vent this to

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year and known her for about 2 years. I love her. She is a genuinely nice person, we have a lot of similar interests, she is intelligent (I'll admit, more than I am), we have a good sex life, extremely cute, etc. Pretty much what I want.  However, her body is just average. Unfortunately this has made me want to cheat for such a shitty vain reason. I never cheated on her but I message a former coworker and we started talking. We've been interested in each other but we were both seeing someone else. I was going to see her but changed my mind last minute. I still have these thought and they get worse. I love my girlfriend, she is amazing. I just feel like a piece of shit for    wanting to cheat on her and getting to the point of actually doing it.

I could never tell her this or dare tell her the reason why. She is self conscious about her body, but what girl isn't? I have to keep myself in check and remind myself that it's not worth losing her.

Probably the worst thing for you to do is to even hangout with her I'd say. Unless you feel like you've got control and can turn her down if she wants to hook up but having a girl you find attractive coming on to you is pretty irresistible. So just dont put yourself into that situation man. And I doubt that chick will want anything to do with you after you hook up and she finds out you've got a girl. And if she already knows you do then you don't wanna start dating the chick who willingly helped you cheat. So if you feel like you wanna cheat just jerk off, or fuck your girl.

[Tufty]

I have to get this off my chest, I don't have anyone to vent this to

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year and known her for about 2 years. I love her. She is a genuinely nice person, we have a lot of similar interests, she is intelligent (I'll admit, more than I am), we have a good sex life, extremely cute, etc. Pretty much what I want.  However, her body is just average. Unfortunately this has made me want to cheat for such a shitty vain reason. I never cheated on her but I message a former coworker and we started talking. We've been interested in each other but we were both seeing someone else. I was going to see her but changed my mind last minute. I still have these thought and they get worse. I love my girlfriend, she is amazing. I just feel like a piece of shit for    wanting to cheat on her and getting to the point of actually doing it.

I could never tell her this or dare tell her the reason why. She is self conscious about her body, but what girl isn't? I have to keep myself in check and remind myself that it's not worth losing her.

You care about her body
or
what the others think about her body?

When you say average? How is average? women have very different body shapes.

[Turtle Boy]

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I have to get this off my chest, I don't have anyone to vent this to

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year and known her for about 2 years. I love her. She is a genuinely nice person, we have a lot of similar interests, she is intelligent (I'll admit, more than I am), we have a good sex life, extremely cute, etc. Pretty much what I want.  However, her body is just average. Unfortunately this has made me want to cheat for such a shitty vain reason. I never cheated on her but I message a former coworker and we started talking. We've been interested in each other but we were both seeing someone else. I was going to see her but changed my mind last minute. I still have these thought and they get worse. I love my girlfriend, she is amazing. I just feel like a piece of shit for    wanting to cheat on her and getting to the point of actually doing it.

I could never tell her this or dare tell her the reason why. She is self conscious about her body, but what girl isn't? I have to keep myself in check and remind myself that it's not worth losing her.

[close]

Probably the worst thing for you to do is to even hangout with her I'd say. Unless you feel like you've got control and can turn her down if she wants to hook up but having a girl you find attractive coming on to you is pretty irresistible. So just dont put yourself into that situation man. And I doubt that chick will want anything to do with you after you hook up and she finds out you've got a girl. And if she already knows you do then you don't wanna start dating the chick who willingly helped you cheat. So if you feel like you wanna cheat just jerk off, or fuck your girl.

This. Or fuck her one time then feel guilty for a couple of months, then realize how stupid was your behaviour and how perfect is your gf.

There is no good answer to that kind of things. You can be a good guy and stop doing anything, but from time to time you'll wonder what if I did it? tThen another opportunity will happen and you'll fuck up big time.

Or you can be a bad guy, do it then feel guilty, then maybe your gf will discover it a dump you. Then you will feel so bad for losing your love.

That won't help you but I think every guy has been in your position, and fuck, there is no perfect answer IMO.

[posguy]

I have to get this off my chest, I don't have anyone to vent this to

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year and known her for about 2 years. I love her. She is a genuinely nice person, we have a lot of similar interests, she is intelligent (I'll admit, more than I am), we have a good sex life, extremely cute, etc. Pretty much what I want.  However, her body is just average. Unfortunately this has made me want to cheat for such a shitty vain reason. I never cheated on her but I message a former coworker and we started talking. We've been interested in each other but we were both seeing someone else. I was going to see her but changed my mind last minute. I still have these thought and they get worse. I love my girlfriend, she is amazing. I just feel like a piece of shit for    wanting to cheat on her and getting to the point of actually doing it.

I could never tell her this or dare tell her the reason why. She is self conscious about her body, but what girl isn't? I have to keep myself in check and remind myself that it's not worth losing her.

If you're gonna cheat then break up with her first. That's gonna break her heart and make the break up a million times messier. My ex let some guy jack off next to her and because "she didn't do anything" she thought it was ok...

[Such]

I have to get this off my chest, I don't have anyone to vent this to

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year and known her for about 2 years. I love her. She is a genuinely nice person, we have a lot of similar interests, she is intelligent (I'll admit, more than I am), we have a good sex life, extremely cute, etc. Pretty much what I want.  However, her body is just average. Unfortunately this has made me want to cheat for such a shitty vain reason. I never cheated on her but I message a former coworker and we started talking. We've been interested in each other but we were both seeing someone else. I was going to see her but changed my mind last minute. I still have these thought and they get worse. I love my girlfriend, she is amazing. I just feel like a piece of shit for    wanting to cheat on her and getting to the point of actually doing it.

I could never tell her this or dare tell her the reason why. She is self conscious about her body, but what girl isn't? I have to keep myself in check and remind myself that it's not worth losing her.

youre not a pice of shit for feeling attracted too other women, thats unavoidable. youre a piece of shit for actually considering it. wtf is wrong with you jesus.

[Such]

sometimes after i piss ill turn the faucet on just so people think im washing my hands but im not really

lol i kinda flick my hand under the steam off water too be even more sure it sounds like im washing em.

[abudabi]

i really want to kook you non handwashers, but im not gonna. you guys are lame for this sheit. wash your damn hands.

[JB]

i really want to kook you non handwashers, but im not gonna. you guys are lame for this sheit. wash your damn hands.

i know my dick is clean and its not like i piss all over my hands. i dont understand what the big deal is.

also, what video is your sig from? i know i own it, but im drawing a total blank.

[KING TUT]

Expand Quote

sometimes after i piss ill turn the faucet on just so people think im washing my hands but im not really

[close]

lol i kinda flick my hand under the steam off water too be even more sure it sounds like im washing em.

this fucking guy even goes so far to actually wet his hands under the stream when he is pretending, I mean what the actual fuck, you may as well just wash them properly you giant twat.

[abudabi]

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i really want to kook you non handwashers, but im not gonna. you guys are lame for this sheit. wash your damn hands.

[close]

i know my dick is clean and its not like i piss all over my hands. i dont understand what the big deal is.

also, what video is your sig from? i know i own it, but im drawing a total blank.

sorry late reply, and im not sure anymore. it's from a Lewis Marnell tribute video, idk what else it might have been in.

and the handwashing thing is lame cause youre going around touching other people's stuff with your dick hands.
youre not spreading disease but it is still lame af.

[perverted super otaku!]

All you you non hand-washers remind me of this Gintama episode, which shows the dangers or not washing your hands and the resulting "tamakin". It's hilarious! www.crunchyroll.com/gintama/episode-113-cleaning-the-toilet-cleanses-the-soul-510100

[Rusty_Berrings]

All you you non hand-washers remind me of this Gintama episode, which shows the dangers or not washing your hands and the resulting "tamakin". It's hilarious! www.crunchyroll.com/gintama/episode-113-cleaning-the-toilet-cleanses-the-soul-510100

Wow you're pretty into Anime. .

[Dirtymac]

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Expand Quote

i really want to kook you non handwashers, but im not gonna. you guys are lame for this sheit. wash your damn hands.

[close]

i know my dick is clean and its not like i piss all over my hands. i dont understand what the big deal is.

also, what video is your sig from? i know i own it, but im drawing a total blank.

[close]

sorry late reply, and im not sure anymore. it's from a Lewis Marnell tribute video, idk what else it might have been in.

and the handwashing thing is lame cause youre going around touching other people's stuff with your dick hands.
youre not spreading disease but it is still lame af.

I'm sorry but I just have to say this made me laugh harder than anything has in I can't remember when...

[tobey]

my good friend from high school passed away sunday, he ODed and now im starting to think it honestly could have been me.

I got super bad anxiety after high school, i didn't leave the house for 3 years but if i didn't have anxiety i would have been hanging out with that same group getting in to those type of drugs. I don't know how i feel right now. My other friend passed away last month and now i have to go to another funeral this weekend, thats 2 funerals in less than a month from each other that i would have never guessed of going to their funerals. I saw a lot of people from high school sunday night we all went to a bar and i got blacked out drunk and it just doesn't seem worth it now. Like my one good friend who i known for years said hes been to rehab 4 times (he wasn't drinking that night) and im just so out of the loop with shit.

Last time i saw my friend we shared a girl lol, i don't want to go to another funeral this year because of drugs

[CigaretteBeer]

If I could get away with punching my girlfiend in the face I would do it almost every day.

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

If I could get away with punching my girlfiend in the face I would do it almost every day.

 

maybe ... she's not the one?

[JB]

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If I could get away with punching my girlfiend in the face I would do it almost every day.

[close]

 

maybe ... she's not the one?

i have a friend who has real anger issues and i remember one time we were all giving him shit and he started to freak out then his girlfriend said the classic "you can dish it out, but you just cant take it" line and that sent him into a rage. after he calmed down i went over to talk to him and he told me that sometimes he wishes that his girlfriend was more like his little brother so that he could whoop her ass every now and then. theyre now engaged to be married.

[Tay]

Every time I skate I eat massive amounts of shit on the easiest of tricks. My ankles have big scabs on them, I have two inflamed elbows with scabs, skinned knees, missing skin on my hands, missing skin on my back and shoulder, and huge puffy bruise on my hip that looks like a nebula. My other hip has a large gnarly road rash which oozes and hasn't healed for the past two weeks.

I eat more shit than all my friends, and I have nothing to show for it.

[Rusty_Berrings]

Every time I skate I eat massive amounts of shit on the easiest of tricks. My ankles have big scabs on them, I have two inflamed elbows with scabs, skinned knees, missing skin on my hands, missing skin on my back and shoulder, and huge puffy bruise on my hip that looks like a nebula. My other hip has a large gnarly road rash which oozes and hasn't healed for the past two weeks.

I eat more shit than all my friends, and I have nothing to show for it.

Oh Tay you just need some nice hot bathes to help you relax your muscles and some good old fashioned rest to help you clear your mind. Cut the crossword out the Sunday funnies and sit out in the shade and listen to the birds chirp and the dogs bark.

Signed,
Yo friend Rusty Berrings