real confessions

[childhood]

In middle school I used to seriously believe in that wingdings 9/11 Q33NY conspiracy theory.

[iKobrakai]

When I was a kid I thought that sometimes chicks would get pregnant for no reason. Then my homie explained to me that it's impossible without fucking. Oh, well...

[childhood]

Yeah, pretty much same.
I remember as a kid blatantly laughing in my sister's face when she said she didn't know who got her pregnant, cause I didn't know how pregnancy actually worked. I must have looked like such an asshole.

[straight]

as a kid i thought you could give yourself an std if you weren’t careful with where you made a mess .. couldn’t do it now if i tried but as a youngin, i remember givin myself a facial while layin down and that really freaked me out

[straight]

just to clarify that was unintentional

[CrumblingInfrastructure]

as a kid i thought you could give yourself an std if you weren’t careful with where you made a mess .. couldn’t do it now if i tried but as a youngin, i remember givin myself a facial while layin down and that really freaked me out

I nutted up my nose when I was like 14-15. That was traumatic.

[Peter Zagreus]

One Christmas, when I was like 14, I jerked off in a jacuzzi tub at my grandparents house, and like half an hour after I finished my female cousin went in and took a bath. For like 2 weeks I was sweating bullets thinking I'd for sure gotten her pregnant.

*Edit: The same year, I was bored at a relative's house and got the idea that I needed to try to weigh my boner on the bathroom scale (I reiterate: I was 14). I hoisted the scale up onto the bathroom counter, worked myself up to a chub, and right as I was about to plop my dick onto the scale my uncle walks in.

We've never spoken about it.

[johnes]

I used to jack off at catholic school in the bathroom a lot. 8th grade
Thinking of my classmate who i had a crush on and two of the teachers.
Done it in a cemetery office bathroom a few times lol.

Sorry I’m telling y’all about jacking off.

[doublesteveburger]

when i worked at a skateshop for a couple years the summer shifts would get so dreadfully slow that rubbing one out in the bathroom wasn't that big a deal. hubba ads were neat. rubbed one out to an ad with freddy on it once. felt like he was cheering me on with a 40 in hand.


we're all animals

[Owen]

One Christmas, when I was like 14, I jerked off in a jacuzzi tub at my grandparents house, and like half an hour after I finished my female cousin went in and took a bath. For like 2 weeks I was sweating bullets thinking I'd for sure gotten her pregnant.

*Edit: The same year, I was bored at a relative's house and got the idea that I needed to try to weigh my boner on the bathroom scale (I reiterate: I was 14). I hoisted the scale up onto the bathroom counter, worked myself up to a chub, and right as I was about to plop my dick onto the scale my uncle walks in.

We've never spoken about it.

Jizzing in the hot tub is gross but I'm guessing you don't need to be told that.

Weighing your boner on the other hand is awesome. Provided you weren't jacking it at the point when your uncle walked in I think that's pretty cool. Any guy would be able to appreciate that. Maybe bring it up with him next time you see him.

[JB]

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One Christmas, when I was like 14, I jerked off in a jacuzzi tub at my grandparents house, and like half an hour after I finished my female cousin went in and took a bath. For like 2 weeks I was sweating bullets thinking I'd for sure gotten her pregnant.

*Edit: The same year, I was bored at a relative's house and got the idea that I needed to try to weigh my boner on the bathroom scale (I reiterate: I was 14). I hoisted the scale up onto the bathroom counter, worked myself up to a chub, and right as I was about to plop my dick onto the scale my uncle walks in.

We've never spoken about it.

[close]

Jizzing in the hot tub is gross but I'm guessing you don't need to be told that.

Weighing your boner on the other hand is awesome. Provided you weren't jacking it at the point when your uncle walked in I think that's pretty cool. Any guy would be able to appreciate that. Maybe bring it up with him next time you see him.

Just say "Just take a guess. How much do you think it weighed?"

[Jewlien Burford]

I don't mind skating DGK boards

[iKobrakai]

I don't mind skating DGK boards

Does not matter. I got one on 50% sale when I was 26 without even thinking about it. Didn’t like the shape, though.

You're all good.

[Dr-Feelgood]

Ive jacked off in every place ive ever worked. Im not proud of this, im not not proud of this.

[Francis Xavier]

I fucked my wife in the back of the shop delivery truck on my lunch break,no one at work knows. It was good.

[SneakySecrets]

One Christmas, when I was like 14, I jerked off in a jacuzzi tub at my grandparents house, and like half an hour after I finished my female cousin went in and took a bath. For like 2 weeks I was sweating bullets thinking I'd for sure gotten her pregnant.

*Edit: The same year, I was bored at a relative's house and got the idea that I needed to try to weigh my boner on the bathroom scale (I reiterate: I was 14). I hoisted the scale up onto the bathroom counter, worked myself up to a chub, and right as I was about to plop my dick onto the scale my uncle walks in.

We've never spoken about it.

If you could boil being 14 down into two paragraphs and a sentence, this would be it.

[L33Tg33k]

After jerking off, I cri evrytiem

[Dorknerd]

Once I used wing dings to print a sheet of oms on the printer at work. A couple people reckoned it was good acid.

I got a pair of skate shoes for Christmas that I haven’t worn because the laces are a bit twisted.

[Dr-Feelgood]

Once I used wing dings to print a sheet of oms on the printer at work. A couple people reckoned it was good acid.

I got a pair of skate shoes for Christmas that I haven’t worn because the laces are a bit twisted.

I lost interest when i realised this confession didnt involve jerking off, thats the theme right now

[honey island]

i just turned 30, and have not worked 9-5 mon-fri job for 3 years, i don't intend to anytime soon either

[feedmeseymour]

i just turned 30, and have not worked 9-5 mon-fri job for 3 years, i don't intend to anytime soon either

Happy birthday fool! I think you’ve got a few years till you’re ready for the “old guys post up here thread”

[mynameisnotjeff]

i just turned 30, and have not worked 9-5 mon-fri job for 3 years, i don't intend to anytime soon either

Happy Birthday, enjoy your gnar and day!

[honey island]

thanks g's!


weirdly enough i'm completely fine with turning 30. 

[iKobrakai]

I was freaking out about my 30. And 25. And 20...

[h00man]

I didnt get the job I was trying hard for for the past few months. I came in second. It's a promotional job basically, so I'll still be here seeing the new guy do the things I could be doing. It sucks.

[doublesteveburger]

Bummer to hear that h00, keep your head up and don’t let these employers discourage you.





I dropped a bottle of soda sans cap and I blamed it on the cat. He gave me the “what the fuck I thought we were friends” look but we’re not friends.

[Joust Ostrich]

Bummer to hear that h00, keep your head up and don’t let these employers discourage you.





I dropped a bottle of soda sans cap and I blamed it on the cat. He gave me the “what the fuck I thought we were friends” look but we’re not friends.

I've heard that cat talk about you when you're not around. 

[doublesteveburger]

Expand Quote

Bummer to hear that h00, keep your head up and don’t let these employers discourage you.





I dropped a bottle of soda sans cap and I blamed it on the cat. He gave me the “what the fuck I thought we were friends” look but we’re not friends.

[close]

I've heard that cat talk about you when you're not around.

dude don’t do this to me right now

[Joust Ostrich]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Bummer to hear that h00, keep your head up and don’t let these employers discourage you.





I dropped a bottle of soda sans cap and I blamed it on the cat. He gave me the “what the fuck I thought we were friends” look but we’re not friends.

[close]

I've heard that cat talk about you when you're not around.

[close]

dude don’t do this to me right now

Shalom

[childhood]

Might have done some drunk raiding of an unexpectedly plentiful medicine cabinet tonight at a Superbowl party.
It was me at my most Bawtawded. Not proud, but am high.