Author Topic: real confessions  (Read 1563352 times)

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Sila

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10080 on: April 01, 2021, 06:25:16 AM »
Hey Tracers i've been in the same situation before. I regret dragging it out as long as I did but as the months went by I eventually became really proud of my decision to let go. You already know it won't really be worth your time. Hang in there..

Madam, I'm Adam

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10081 on: April 03, 2021, 07:41:05 PM »
I legit spent a dece chunk of my 20ís bumming around alternating between dole and Austudy and selling drugs and had a great time, always got wasted and stuff, always had cash to do whatevs
When I started apprenticeship cunts that Iíd been friends and skated with for years started talking shit and calling me a greedy cunt and saying I was all about money. Like Iím even rich cunt

but I think it really was because I just started saying man you wanna sit at mine or go skating and you wanna drink half my carton and bum half my smokes or whatever well that will cost you this and if youíve not got coin to chuck in then you can have a glass of water and dumpers from the ashtray.

At the time I was getting fucking destroyed as an apprentice, I mean it was deadset hard work and it made me think nah cunt I work hard for this coin itís fucking mine mate

It was a different concept to me versus when it just lands in your hand from doing suss shit

I have this other group of friends guys Iíve known since primary and early high school, they all stopped skating in high school. Good blokes mostly tradies too but just like, solid people that I enjoy being around. But still proper loose units that love the sesh
Just able to back it up at work

I have a couple of mates that still skate and work different circle of friends and we meet up itís good times but yeah just the amount of bitching went on from certain people when I started Ďdoing wellí and I wanna say I was a fucking apprentice still at this stage. Doing well is subjective I only had a bit of coin cause I was doing cashies after work etc, literally working my arse of

Just the straight vitriol I copped from some cunts, found out about second hand kinda shocked me I mean nobody said shit to my face so maybe thatís on me, if someone canít say something to your face why care right. I harbour some rage about this and itís mostly cause I couldnít even get no satisfaction, itís like man you wanna talk shit come meet up...crickets

but just speaking generally here, thereís cunts that will just hate on absolutely anything. And you just canít listen to them or even entertain their suggestions. Much less associate with them
They gonna fuck you up fam

People like that just want you to be a loser like them so they feel better about their situation

Itís rough but for everyone on here never be afraid or feel bad cutting out people that have no value. You canít save em all and lifeís fucking hard man canít be wasting time on stupid shit you gotta do you

Youíre only as smart as your dumbest mate
And also,

May the bridges you burn light your way

Dude thatís off 90210 luke perry said that shit, classic

Hell yeah matty, randomly got taken to this page and saw your post and itís good stuff

aliexpress

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10082 on: April 07, 2021, 08:12:53 PM »
Been sober (mostly) for a year and a half now. I still think about getting drunk all the time. I've never been the kind of drunk that was super angry or exploded or anything, I was always an imploder, destroying myself and my life from the inside out. I used to walk dogs and one time one of the leashes broke and the dog ran into traffic and died. I hate to admit it, but it really fucked me up for a while. Things started getting worse after that and I started doing coke even though I really hate coke and it isn't fun for me. It was just getting offered to me all the time and I was down to do whatever to escape. Things started getting out of hand, and after a bad breakup I got fed up and just quit everything. Even smoking. Fuck I miss cigarettes lol.

Anyway, been feeling lately like maybe I want to do some mushrooms again this summer sometime. Does anyone have any experience with doing psychedelics while you're sober and not relapsing? Or is that just a risk I have to be willing to take?

Freelancevagrant

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10083 on: April 07, 2021, 08:25:33 PM »
Been sober (mostly) for a year and a half now. I still think about getting drunk all the time. I've never been the kind of drunk that was super angry or exploded or anything, I was always an imploder, destroying myself and my life from the inside out. I used to walk dogs and one time one of the leashes broke and the dog ran into traffic and died. I hate to admit it, but it really fucked me up for a while. Things started getting worse after that and I started doing coke even though I really hate coke and it isn't fun for me. It was just getting offered to me all the time and I was down to do whatever to escape. Things started getting out of hand, and after a bad breakup I got fed up and just quit everything. Even smoking. Fuck I miss cigarettes lol.

Anyway, been feeling lately like maybe I want to do some mushrooms again this summer sometime. Does anyone have any experience with doing psychedelics while you're sober and not relapsing? Or is that just a risk I have to be willing to take?

Been sober for five years, few pieces of advice.

If you quit everything at once, you will set yourself up for disappointment.

First things first - donít minimize your trauma, anything and everything could be a catalyst for a behavior. That sucks you had to deal with losing a pup in front of you.

Also.... Smoke a cigarette and cut yourself some fucking slack.

With mushrooms specifically, start small. Just half a gram and ease your way into it and go up from there.

Smaller doses of psychedelics, microdosing to recreational levels actually help to fight addiction and reduce urges regardless of your habit.

For as long as Iíve been sober Iíve had dreams and fears and urges about drinking/relapsing. But, that shit is fleeting. Take stock in what youíve gained since you quit and became sober.

One last thing, and some of the most sage advice Iíve ever been given: ROME DIDNíT FALL IN A DAY... THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING CONQUERED.
Ask a medical expert about pre-teens and their bones, unless you are scared to.

aliexpress

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10084 on: April 08, 2021, 07:06:02 AM »
Been sober for five years, few pieces of advice.

If you quit everything at once, you will set yourself up for disappointment.

First things first - donít minimize your trauma, anything and everything could be a catalyst for a behavior. That sucks you had to deal with losing a pup in front of you.

Also.... Smoke a cigarette and cut yourself some fucking slack.

With mushrooms specifically, start small. Just half a gram and ease your way into it and go up from there.

Smaller doses of psychedelics, microdosing to recreational levels actually help to fight addiction and reduce urges regardless of your habit.

For as long as Iíve been sober Iíve had dreams and fears and urges about drinking/relapsing. But, that shit is fleeting. Take stock in what youíve gained since you quit and became sober.

One last thing, and some of the most sage advice Iíve ever been given: ROME DIDNíT FALL IN A DAY... THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING CONQUERED.

Thanks man. Good advice.

I guess my problem is that I link mushrooms to partying because I always used to be drinking when I did them. So I guess I'm worried that I'll start doing mushrooms again and it'll gateway me into drinking. But I've heard good things about microdosing so I might give it a try when it gets nicer out and I can just get lost in the forest all day

Anyone have experience with ADHD & shrooms? Pros and cons? Haven't been diagnosed yet but all signs have pointed to yes since I was a kid.

Freelancevagrant

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10085 on: April 08, 2021, 07:22:41 AM »
Expand Quote
Been sober for five years, few pieces of advice.

If you quit everything at once, you will set yourself up for disappointment.

First things first - donít minimize your trauma, anything and everything could be a catalyst for a behavior. That sucks you had to deal with losing a pup in front of you.

Also.... Smoke a cigarette and cut yourself some fucking slack.

With mushrooms specifically, start small. Just half a gram and ease your way into it and go up from there.

Smaller doses of psychedelics, microdosing to recreational levels actually help to fight addiction and reduce urges regardless of your habit.

For as long as Iíve been sober Iíve had dreams and fears and urges about drinking/relapsing. But, that shit is fleeting. Take stock in what youíve gained since you quit and became sober.

One last thing, and some of the most sage advice Iíve ever been given: ROME DIDNíT FALL IN A DAY... THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING CONQUERED.
[close]

Thanks man. Good advice.

I guess my problem is that I link mushrooms to partying because I always used to be drinking when I did them. So I guess I'm worried that I'll start doing mushrooms again and it'll gateway me into drinking. But I've heard good things about microdosing so I might give it a try when it gets nicer out and I can just get lost in the forest all day

Anyone have experience with ADHD & shrooms? Pros and cons? Haven't been diagnosed yet but all signs have pointed to yes since I was a kid.

Happy to help dude. I understand the fear, but you gotta remember youíre doing it for different reasons now. Youíre doing it for self improvement and not to go to another dimension.

Also I have pretty severe ADHD, and take meds for em daily. I have heard realllllly promising things about microdosing for it, but I canít vouch from experience. But in all honesty itís worth trying for a month or so and monitor how it affects your day to day life.
Ask a medical expert about pre-teens and their bones, unless you are scared to.

IusedToSkateMore

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10086 on: April 08, 2021, 07:58:33 PM »
Been sober (mostly) for a year and a half now. I still think about getting drunk all the time. I've never been the kind of drunk that was super angry or exploded or anything, I was always an imploder, destroying myself and my life from the inside out. I used to walk dogs and one time one of the leashes broke and the dog ran into traffic and died. I hate to admit it, but it really fucked me up for a while. Things started getting worse after that and I started doing coke even though I really hate coke and it isn't fun for me. It was just getting offered to me all the time and I was down to do whatever to escape. Things started getting out of hand, and after a bad breakup I got fed up and just quit everything. Even smoking. Fuck I miss cigarettes lol.

Anyway, been feeling lately like maybe I want to do some mushrooms again this summer sometime. Does anyone have any experience with doing psychedelics while you're sober and not relapsing? Or is that just a risk I have to be willing to take?

heyo. been sober off alcohol going on 6 years. I stopped drinking because I figured it would help quell a rising storm of poly substance misuse. It didn't for the first couple years anyways,  but in the long run it's probably the reason I'm alive, not using narcotics, have stayed out of trouble, and am healthy. I will forever credit an early on DMT experience with helping me stay off the sauce at a critical juncture.

Now, I use the herb and psychedelics. While I have partied with psychedelics I see them as a tool, or rather a place from which to reset the mind, patterns, and behaviors. For me, a big old trip will trounce any desire to take drugs, perhaps because it leads to a sense of fulfillment that drugs don't. Maybe because it helps remind me why I don't take drugs, that life is my beautiful experience to unfold within.

I used to ALWAYS drink beer while eating shrooms. I mean I drank beer whenever, but beer and boomers went hand in hand. post booze tripping required a paradigm shift in that I needed to prepare differently and let those I was going to be with know what I needed. It's helpful to be with those who respect you and understand what you're trying to do. If they don't or can't, they're not worth kicking it with.

About that paradigm shift- what are you trying to do with the boomers? Are you trying to reset? reach a spiritual plane? Get out of the rat race for a few hours and bug out? I think it's important to set an intention about what you're looking for and trying to do. Such intentionality may help you stay sober.

you don't have to gobble down a whole 8th either, man. I mean you can and will be fine, but half an 8th is cool to start with and a redose can be nice a few hours in if needed. That took me years to learn!!!

you ask about microdosing and I can speak a bit as I began that journey a few months back. First, I will say that I am enjoying and benefiting from it. My focus is increased, especially on microdose days- There will be periods on those days with a level of resounding clarity, a meditative state of awareness while also engaged in multiple tasks. Jokingly but no so jokingly it's like drinking some nectar of the gods coffee at times. It's pretty sweet. Not high, not trippy, just more fun and interesting. On off days, I feel fine, perhaps in a better mood but can't quantify it in any way. I have a fairly heightened sense of smell but since I began microdosing, it's amplified. Artificial or "poison" smells and tastes are awful. Perfume, cigarettes, too much sugar, etc are a no go.

Also, if you're going to microdose, try to do it properly. Weight your mushrooms, grind them up and capsule them. It's nice to have a consistent dose as it leaves out room for doubting efficacy.
stay high, lay low

smellsdead

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10087 on: April 09, 2021, 11:37:51 AM »
i used a GZA lyric on my SATs

BieberStance

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10088 on: April 09, 2021, 11:53:14 AM »
Can someone that experienced it explain to me how it happened to them that they spiraled into a cocaine addiction from starting out taking it recreationally with friends/ while partying?
I am genuinely wondering about coke in particular. Where i used to live coke was always around and a part of the nightlife. And i was into it for a bit in that setting. Even so much that it became kind of regular when going out. But it always fucked me up so much physically and emotionally and hangoverwise that i had no desire or wasnít able to imagine taking it more than that (or the day after) until the next werkend or so.
It didnít make sense for me from its effects to incorporate it in my daily (working) life at all. Amphetamines were a complete different story for me. Maximum effect to be efficient with less to none shortterm sideffects. Had to be careful a few times to not fall into a routine.
Now i am away from drugs for a long time. But still wondering when i hear stories like the one above. Or do you consider consuming uppers in general as doing coke in the states? Maybe the coke there is way better so its more āconvincingĎ?
Genuinely curious.

aliexpress

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10089 on: April 09, 2021, 04:37:53 PM »
Expand Quote
Been sober (mostly) for a year and a half now. I still think about getting drunk all the time. I've never been the kind of drunk that was super angry or exploded or anything, I was always an imploder, destroying myself and my life from the inside out. I used to walk dogs and one time one of the leashes broke and the dog ran into traffic and died. I hate to admit it, but it really fucked me up for a while. Things started getting worse after that and I started doing coke even though I really hate coke and it isn't fun for me. It was just getting offered to me all the time and I was down to do whatever to escape. Things started getting out of hand, and after a bad breakup I got fed up and just quit everything. Even smoking. Fuck I miss cigarettes lol.

Anyway, been feeling lately like maybe I want to do some mushrooms again this summer sometime. Does anyone have any experience with doing psychedelics while you're sober and not relapsing? Or is that just a risk I have to be willing to take?
[close]

heyo. been sober off alcohol going on 6 years. I stopped drinking because I figured it would help quell a rising storm of poly substance misuse. It didn't for the first couple years anyways,  but in the long run it's probably the reason I'm alive, not using narcotics, have stayed out of trouble, and am healthy. I will forever credit an early on DMT experience with helping me stay off the sauce at a critical juncture.

Now, I use the herb and psychedelics. While I have partied with psychedelics I see them as a tool, or rather a place from which to reset the mind, patterns, and behaviors. For me, a big old trip will trounce any desire to take drugs, perhaps because it leads to a sense of fulfillment that drugs don't. Maybe because it helps remind me why I don't take drugs, that life is my beautiful experience to unfold within.

I used to ALWAYS drink beer while eating shrooms. I mean I drank beer whenever, but beer and boomers went hand in hand. post booze tripping required a paradigm shift in that I needed to prepare differently and let those I was going to be with know what I needed. It's helpful to be with those who respect you and understand what you're trying to do. If they don't or can't, they're not worth kicking it with.

About that paradigm shift- what are you trying to do with the boomers? Are you trying to reset? reach a spiritual plane? Get out of the rat race for a few hours and bug out? I think it's important to set an intention about what you're looking for and trying to do. Such intentionality may help you stay sober.

you don't have to gobble down a whole 8th either, man. I mean you can and will be fine, but half an 8th is cool to start with and a redose can be nice a few hours in if needed. That took me years to learn!!!

you ask about microdosing and I can speak a bit as I began that journey a few months back. First, I will say that I am enjoying and benefiting from it. My focus is increased, especially on microdose days- There will be periods on those days with a level of resounding clarity, a meditative state of awareness while also engaged in multiple tasks. Jokingly but no so jokingly it's like drinking some nectar of the gods coffee at times. It's pretty sweet. Not high, not trippy, just more fun and interesting. On off days, I feel fine, perhaps in a better mood but can't quantify it in any way. I have a fairly heightened sense of smell but since I began microdosing, it's amplified. Artificial or "poison" smells and tastes are awful. Perfume, cigarettes, too much sugar, etc are a no go.

Also, if you're going to microdose, try to do it properly. Weight your mushrooms, grind them up and capsule them. It's nice to have a consistent dose as it leaves out room for doubting efficacy.

Attention setting is a good note. So is the measuring out the shrooms part. Thanks for the advice dude.

El Fapinator

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10090 on: April 13, 2021, 06:25:11 AM »
I don't think I'm in love with my partner anymore, I don't want to call it quits but it seems like she's growing apart from me and I wouldn't mind the time apart to reconvene and collect myself.

I admit and am jealous of you single dude's out there. Marriage or in a thick as thieves relationship can be a drag.
Dueces Bitch's

matty_c

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10091 on: April 14, 2021, 10:53:00 PM »
I don't think I'm in love with my partner anymore, I don't want to call it quits but it seems like she's growing apart from me and I wouldn't mind the time apart to reconvene and collect myself.

I admit and am jealous of you single dude's out there. Marriage or in a thick as thieves relationship can be a drag.

Man donít just go and do this because I am still dealing with my shit five years later and still unsure if I made the right decision but yeah I focused an otherwise good relationship cause her family owed me over 20k
One way to look at it is thatís all she was worth
Other way to see it is that it just tuned me bitter and fucked my head up. You gotta do you brother

Anyway I went back to peppers last night to see mates and no fucking shit my Columbian queen was at Woolworths I mean the one I burped on ages ago from my same floor I used to live in and it was just like I had nothing to lose so I didnít bitch it and go quiet and we had mad chats outside and in lift

No fucking shit she looks like Adria rae but with accent and she loves my dog itís about time I had a win cunt
Weíre gonna hang out soon I need this
listen to cosmic psychos

fulltechnicalskizzy

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10092 on: April 15, 2021, 07:06:03 AM »
I was drunk talking skating and kept calling Dylan Rieder Dylan Gravis and couldnít remember his real name for the life of me

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10093 on: April 15, 2021, 11:31:47 AM »
Expand Quote
I don't think I'm in love with my partner anymore, I don't want to call it quits but it seems like she's growing apart from me and I wouldn't mind the time apart to reconvene and collect myself.

I admit and am jealous of you single dude's out there. Marriage or in a thick as thieves relationship can be a drag.
[close]

Man donít just go and do this because I am still dealing with my shit five years later and still unsure if I made the right decision but yeah I focused an otherwise good relationship cause her family owed me over 20k
One way to look at it is thatís all she was worth
Other way to see it is that it just tuned me bitter and fucked my head up. You gotta do you brother

Anyway I went back to peppers last night to see mates and no fucking shit my Columbian queen was at Woolworths I mean the one I burped on ages ago from my same floor I used to live in and it was just like I had nothing to lose so I didnít bitch it and go quiet and we had mad chats outside and in lift

No fucking shit she looks like Adria rae but with accent and she loves my dog itís about time I had a win cunt
Weíre gonna hang out soon I need this

Soooo did you get her deets or what?
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Dr-Feelgood

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10094 on: April 17, 2021, 06:25:40 PM »
Expand Quote
I don't think I'm in love with my partner anymore, I don't want to call it quits but it seems like she's growing apart from me and I wouldn't mind the time apart to reconvene and collect myself.

I admit and am jealous of you single dude's out there. Marriage or in a thick as thieves relationship can be a drag.
[close]

Man donít just go and do this because I am still dealing with my shit five years later and still unsure if I made the right decision but yeah I focused an otherwise good relationship cause her family owed me over 20k
One way to look at it is thatís all she was worth
Other way to see it is that it just tuned me bitter and fucked my head up. You gotta do you brother

Anyway I went back to peppers last night to see mates and no fucking shit my Columbian queen was at Woolworths I mean the one I burped on ages ago from my same floor I used to live in and it was just like I had nothing to lose so I didnít bitch it and go quiet and we had mad chats outside and in lift

No fucking shit she looks like Adria rae but with accent and she loves my dog itís about time I had a win cunt
Weíre gonna hang out soon I need this

fuckin get it matty, hold the burps maaaate


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Everett

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10095 on: April 17, 2021, 07:52:17 PM »
Lately, everything seems very bland. I got some energy to skate the other day with some of the loval shop boys, did a trick that felt great but when i saw it i was really sad at how it looked.

On another (but similar) note, I have adhd and though im 26, I still dont know what I want in life. I recently got accepted into a well-paying union, but Ive never been good at working construction, to the point that everybody ive ever worked with thinks that im dumb, which im not. I feel like i have self image issues, and donít know where to begin. Even now I see my adhd in that Iíve started talking about many things in this post, but never finished any of them in their entirety.  Ive got many tickets, mo health insurance, arthritic hands in my young age, a drug problem, a nasty cigarette habit, and everything just seems insurmountable.

/vent

matty_c

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10096 on: April 17, 2021, 08:44:04 PM »
Ahh we were gonna do something this weekend but I been busy but yeah been texting all g
Iím not drinking with her though haha Iím gonna keep it chill
Cheers boys
listen to cosmic psychos

SneakySecrets

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10097 on: April 19, 2021, 09:13:10 AM »
I leave old keys that I donít need anymore on my keychain just so it looks to the outside observer like I have a lot of shit locked up somewhere.

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10098 on: April 19, 2021, 02:46:07 PM »
I leave old keys that I donít need anymore on my keychain just so it looks to the outside observer like I have a lot of shit locked up somewhere.
hahaha same!
One of them is the key to my parents place back in Aus and even though theyíve sold it and since moved along, itís a way to still be connected to that place

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GardenSkater77

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10099 on: April 19, 2021, 03:45:58 PM »