real confessions

[Freelancevagrant]

Well I definitely wouldn't go straight for, "I think about you when I pull myself". It'd be better to say something like, "I still think about when we got together before, that was a lot of fun."

100% you can’t be too blunt about it, or blurt it out. It can get hella creepy real quick, so proceed with caution and don’t drop that shit outta the blue. I’d highly advise against y’all having a conversation about some random shit like the homeless problem, and be like I saw a homeless dude cranking down on the bus and it reminded me to tell you that I’ve definitely beat my shit to you.

It’s way easier to drop that shit when y’all are talking nasty over text or making out or some shit.

Just my two cents.

[Eric Dolphy]

Sometimes I'll be watching porn and just start thinking about my ex I'm still in love with, then that's more of a turn on than the porn and I'll just finish to her memory. I feel like I might have told her at some point but i can't remember when. Definitely told her I'm still attracted to her.

So recently she asked to catch up to talk about "feelings" and say basically she isn't over me either and wants to try again. I told her i need to think about it. It's messed up, in my head i thought I still wanted to get back with her, until it was a realistic option. We were on and off for about eight years, and have been apart for two years. Suddenly I realised that I might have actually finally moved on. I'm going back to study in July and i just don't trust that the same issues won't come back up, that she gets in her head, can't communicate, and just runs out on me. I can't risk it. As much as I care about her, i have to do what's best for me. She's left me broken and fucked up a few times now.
I had been avoiding having this chat because it's hard, saying no to something I've wanted for so long. Anyway a few days ago she came over and wants to talk again but I'm not ready. Things start to happen and I don't want to sleep with her then tell her it's not going to work, so I lay it all out for her, total honesty. She says she understands, and still wants to stay to have sex. The sex is great. She leaves afterwards and the next morning my head is all fucked up and confused again.

This was just meant to be a "yeah i still beat it to the memory of an ex too" post but turned into a real confession. Good to get it out tho

[iKobrakai]

Sometimes I'll be watching porn and just start thinking about my ex I'm still in love with, then that's more of a turn on than the porn and I'll just finish to her memory. I feel like I might have told her at some point but i can't remember when. Definitely told her I'm still attracted to her.

So recently she asked to catch up to talk about "feelings" and say basically she isn't over me either and wants to try again. I told her i need to think about it. It's messed up, in my head i thought I still wanted to get back with her, until it was a realistic option. We were on and off for about eight years, and have been apart for two years. Suddenly I realised that I might have actually finally moved on. I'm going back to study in July and i just don't trust that the same issues won't come back up, that she gets in her head, can't communicate, and just runs out on me. I can't risk it. As much as I care about her, i have to do what's best for me. She's left me broken and fucked up a few times now.
I had been avoiding having this chat because it's hard, saying no to something I've wanted for so long. Anyway a few days ago she came over and wants to talk again but I'm not ready. Things start to happen and I don't want to sleep with her then tell her it's not going to work, so I lay it all out for her, total honesty. She says she understands, and still wants to stay to have sex. The sex is great. She leaves afterwards and the next morning my head is all fucked up and confused again.

This was just meant to be a "yeah i still beat it to the memory of an ex too" post but turned into a real confession. Good to get it out tho

Good luck, bro...

But yeah... the whole banging-the-ex is for sure a thing.

[Sila]

Hey Tracers i've been in the same situation before. I regret dragging it out as long as I did but as the months went by I eventually became really proud of my decision to let go. You already know it won't really be worth your time. Hang in there..

[Madam, I'm Adam]

I legit spent a dece chunk of my 20’s bumming around alternating between dole and Austudy and selling drugs and had a great time, always got wasted and stuff, always had cash to do whatevs
When I started apprenticeship cunts that I’d been friends and skated with for years started talking shit and calling me a greedy cunt and saying I was all about money. Like I’m even rich cunt

but I think it really was because I just started saying man you wanna sit at mine or go skating and you wanna drink half my carton and bum half my smokes or whatever well that will cost you this and if you’ve not got coin to chuck in then you can have a glass of water and dumpers from the ashtray.

At the time I was getting fucking destroyed as an apprentice, I mean it was deadset hard work and it made me think nah cunt I work hard for this coin it’s fucking mine mate

It was a different concept to me versus when it just lands in your hand from doing suss shit

I have this other group of friends guys I’ve known since primary and early high school, they all stopped skating in high school. Good blokes mostly tradies too but just like, solid people that I enjoy being around. But still proper loose units that love the sesh
Just able to back it up at work

I have a couple of mates that still skate and work different circle of friends and we meet up it’s good times but yeah just the amount of bitching went on from certain people when I started ‘doing well’ and I wanna say I was a fucking apprentice still at this stage. Doing well is subjective I only had a bit of coin cause I was doing cashies after work etc, literally working my arse of

Just the straight vitriol I copped from some cunts, found out about second hand kinda shocked me I mean nobody said shit to my face so maybe that’s on me, if someone can’t say something to your face why care right. I harbour some rage about this and it’s mostly cause I couldn’t even get no satisfaction, it’s like man you wanna talk shit come meet up...crickets

but just speaking generally here, there’s cunts that will just hate on absolutely anything. And you just can’t listen to them or even entertain their suggestions. Much less associate with them
They gonna fuck you up fam

People like that just want you to be a loser like them so they feel better about their situation

It’s rough but for everyone on here never be afraid or feel bad cutting out people that have no value. You can’t save em all and life’s fucking hard man can’t be wasting time on stupid shit you gotta do you

You’re only as smart as your dumbest mate
And also,

May the bridges you burn light your way

Dude that’s off 90210 luke perry said that shit, classic

Hell yeah matty, randomly got taken to this page and saw your post and it’s good stuff

[aliexpress]

Been sober (mostly) for a year and a half now. I still think about getting drunk all the time. I've never been the kind of drunk that was super angry or exploded or anything, I was always an imploder, destroying myself and my life from the inside out. I used to walk dogs and one time one of the leashes broke and the dog ran into traffic and died. I hate to admit it, but it really fucked me up for a while. Things started getting worse after that and I started doing coke even though I really hate coke and it isn't fun for me. It was just getting offered to me all the time and I was down to do whatever to escape. Things started getting out of hand, and after a bad breakup I got fed up and just quit everything. Even smoking. Fuck I miss cigarettes lol.

Anyway, been feeling lately like maybe I want to do some mushrooms again this summer sometime. Does anyone have any experience with doing psychedelics while you're sober and not relapsing? Or is that just a risk I have to be willing to take?

[Freelancevagrant]

Been sober (mostly) for a year and a half now. I still think about getting drunk all the time. I've never been the kind of drunk that was super angry or exploded or anything, I was always an imploder, destroying myself and my life from the inside out. I used to walk dogs and one time one of the leashes broke and the dog ran into traffic and died. I hate to admit it, but it really fucked me up for a while. Things started getting worse after that and I started doing coke even though I really hate coke and it isn't fun for me. It was just getting offered to me all the time and I was down to do whatever to escape. Things started getting out of hand, and after a bad breakup I got fed up and just quit everything. Even smoking. Fuck I miss cigarettes lol.

Anyway, been feeling lately like maybe I want to do some mushrooms again this summer sometime. Does anyone have any experience with doing psychedelics while you're sober and not relapsing? Or is that just a risk I have to be willing to take?

Been sober for five years, few pieces of advice.

If you quit everything at once, you will set yourself up for disappointment.

First things first - don’t minimize your trauma, anything and everything could be a catalyst for a behavior. That sucks you had to deal with losing a pup in front of you.

Also.... Smoke a cigarette and cut yourself some fucking slack.

With mushrooms specifically, start small. Just half a gram and ease your way into it and go up from there.

Smaller doses of psychedelics, microdosing to recreational levels actually help to fight addiction and reduce urges regardless of your habit.

For as long as I’ve been sober I’ve had dreams and fears and urges about drinking/relapsing. But, that shit is fleeting. Take stock in what you’ve gained since you quit and became sober.

One last thing, and some of the most sage advice I’ve ever been given: ROME DIDN’T FALL IN A DAY... THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING CONQUERED.

[aliexpress]

Been sober for five years, few pieces of advice.

If you quit everything at once, you will set yourself up for disappointment.

First things first - don’t minimize your trauma, anything and everything could be a catalyst for a behavior. That sucks you had to deal with losing a pup in front of you.

Also.... Smoke a cigarette and cut yourself some fucking slack.

With mushrooms specifically, start small. Just half a gram and ease your way into it and go up from there.

Smaller doses of psychedelics, microdosing to recreational levels actually help to fight addiction and reduce urges regardless of your habit.

For as long as I’ve been sober I’ve had dreams and fears and urges about drinking/relapsing. But, that shit is fleeting. Take stock in what you’ve gained since you quit and became sober.

One last thing, and some of the most sage advice I’ve ever been given: ROME DIDN’T FALL IN A DAY... THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING CONQUERED.

Thanks man. Good advice.

I guess my problem is that I link mushrooms to partying because I always used to be drinking when I did them. So I guess I'm worried that I'll start doing mushrooms again and it'll gateway me into drinking. But I've heard good things about microdosing so I might give it a try when it gets nicer out and I can just get lost in the forest all day

Anyone have experience with ADHD & shrooms? Pros and cons? Haven't been diagnosed yet but all signs have pointed to yes since I was a kid.

[Freelancevagrant]

Expand Quote

Been sober for five years, few pieces of advice.

If you quit everything at once, you will set yourself up for disappointment.

First things first - don’t minimize your trauma, anything and everything could be a catalyst for a behavior. That sucks you had to deal with losing a pup in front of you.

Also.... Smoke a cigarette and cut yourself some fucking slack.

With mushrooms specifically, start small. Just half a gram and ease your way into it and go up from there.

Smaller doses of psychedelics, microdosing to recreational levels actually help to fight addiction and reduce urges regardless of your habit.

For as long as I’ve been sober I’ve had dreams and fears and urges about drinking/relapsing. But, that shit is fleeting. Take stock in what you’ve gained since you quit and became sober.

One last thing, and some of the most sage advice I’ve ever been given: ROME DIDN’T FALL IN A DAY... THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING CONQUERED.

[close]

Thanks man. Good advice.

I guess my problem is that I link mushrooms to partying because I always used to be drinking when I did them. So I guess I'm worried that I'll start doing mushrooms again and it'll gateway me into drinking. But I've heard good things about microdosing so I might give it a try when it gets nicer out and I can just get lost in the forest all day

Anyone have experience with ADHD & shrooms? Pros and cons? Haven't been diagnosed yet but all signs have pointed to yes since I was a kid.

Happy to help dude. I understand the fear, but you gotta remember you’re doing it for different reasons now. You’re doing it for self improvement and not to go to another dimension.

Also I have pretty severe ADHD, and take meds for em daily. I have heard realllllly promising things about microdosing for it, but I can’t vouch from experience. But in all honesty it’s worth trying for a month or so and monitor how it affects your day to day life.

[smellsdead]

i used a GZA lyric on my SATs

[aliexpress]

Expand Quote

Been sober (mostly) for a year and a half now. I still think about getting drunk all the time. I've never been the kind of drunk that was super angry or exploded or anything, I was always an imploder, destroying myself and my life from the inside out. I used to walk dogs and one time one of the leashes broke and the dog ran into traffic and died. I hate to admit it, but it really fucked me up for a while. Things started getting worse after that and I started doing coke even though I really hate coke and it isn't fun for me. It was just getting offered to me all the time and I was down to do whatever to escape. Things started getting out of hand, and after a bad breakup I got fed up and just quit everything. Even smoking. Fuck I miss cigarettes lol.

Anyway, been feeling lately like maybe I want to do some mushrooms again this summer sometime. Does anyone have any experience with doing psychedelics while you're sober and not relapsing? Or is that just a risk I have to be willing to take?

[close]

heyo. been sober off alcohol going on 6 years. I stopped drinking because I figured it would help quell a rising storm of poly substance misuse. It didn't for the first couple years anyways,  but in the long run it's probably the reason I'm alive, not using narcotics, have stayed out of trouble, and am healthy. I will forever credit an early on DMT experience with helping me stay off the sauce at a critical juncture.

Now, I use the herb and psychedelics. While I have partied with psychedelics I see them as a tool, or rather a place from which to reset the mind, patterns, and behaviors. For me, a big old trip will trounce any desire to take drugs, perhaps because it leads to a sense of fulfillment that drugs don't. Maybe because it helps remind me why I don't take drugs, that life is my beautiful experience to unfold within.

I used to ALWAYS drink beer while eating shrooms. I mean I drank beer whenever, but beer and boomers went hand in hand. post booze tripping required a paradigm shift in that I needed to prepare differently and let those I was going to be with know what I needed. It's helpful to be with those who respect you and understand what you're trying to do. If they don't or can't, they're not worth kicking it with.

About that paradigm shift- what are you trying to do with the boomers? Are you trying to reset? reach a spiritual plane? Get out of the rat race for a few hours and bug out? I think it's important to set an intention about what you're looking for and trying to do. Such intentionality may help you stay sober.

you don't have to gobble down a whole 8th either, man. I mean you can and will be fine, but half an 8th is cool to start with and a redose can be nice a few hours in if needed. That took me years to learn!!!

you ask about microdosing and I can speak a bit as I began that journey a few months back. First, I will say that I am enjoying and benefiting from it. My focus is increased, especially on microdose days- There will be periods on those days with a level of resounding clarity, a meditative state of awareness while also engaged in multiple tasks. Jokingly but no so jokingly it's like drinking some nectar of the gods coffee at times. It's pretty sweet. Not high, not trippy, just more fun and interesting. On off days, I feel fine, perhaps in a better mood but can't quantify it in any way. I have a fairly heightened sense of smell but since I began microdosing, it's amplified. Artificial or "poison" smells and tastes are awful. Perfume, cigarettes, too much sugar, etc are a no go.

Also, if you're going to microdose, try to do it properly. Weight your mushrooms, grind them up and capsule them. It's nice to have a consistent dose as it leaves out room for doubting efficacy.

Attention setting is a good note. So is the measuring out the shrooms part. Thanks for the advice dude.

[DarthDingusMaximus]

I don't think I'm in love with my partner anymore, I don't want to call it quits but it seems like she's growing apart from me and I wouldn't mind the time apart to reconvene and collect myself.

I admit and am jealous of you single dude's out there. Marriage or in a thick as thieves relationship can be a drag.

[matty_c]

I don't think I'm in love with my partner anymore, I don't want to call it quits but it seems like she's growing apart from me and I wouldn't mind the time apart to reconvene and collect myself.

I admit and am jealous of you single dude's out there. Marriage or in a thick as thieves relationship can be a drag.

Man don’t just go and do this because I am still dealing with my shit five years later and still unsure if I made the right decision but yeah I focused an otherwise good relationship cause her family owed me over 20k
One way to look at it is that’s all she was worth
Other way to see it is that it just tuned me bitter and fucked my head up. You gotta do you brother

Anyway I went back to peppers last night to see mates and no fucking shit my Columbian queen was at Woolworths I mean the one I burped on ages ago from my same floor I used to live in and it was just like I had nothing to lose so I didn’t bitch it and go quiet and we had mad chats outside and in lift

No fucking shit she looks like Adria rae but with accent and she loves my dog it’s about time I had a win cunt
We’re gonna hang out soon I need this

[fulltechnicalskizzy]

I was drunk talking skating and kept calling Dylan Rieder Dylan Gravis and couldn’t remember his real name for the life of me

[Grind King Rims]

Expand Quote

I don't think I'm in love with my partner anymore, I don't want to call it quits but it seems like she's growing apart from me and I wouldn't mind the time apart to reconvene and collect myself.

I admit and am jealous of you single dude's out there. Marriage or in a thick as thieves relationship can be a drag.

[close]

Man don’t just go and do this because I am still dealing with my shit five years later and still unsure if I made the right decision but yeah I focused an otherwise good relationship cause her family owed me over 20k
One way to look at it is that’s all she was worth
Other way to see it is that it just tuned me bitter and fucked my head up. You gotta do you brother

Anyway I went back to peppers last night to see mates and no fucking shit my Columbian queen was at Woolworths I mean the one I burped on ages ago from my same floor I used to live in and it was just like I had nothing to lose so I didn’t bitch it and go quiet and we had mad chats outside and in lift

No fucking shit she looks like Adria rae but with accent and she loves my dog it’s about time I had a win cunt
We’re gonna hang out soon I need this

Soooo did you get her deets or what?

[Dr-Feelgood]

Expand Quote

I don't think I'm in love with my partner anymore, I don't want to call it quits but it seems like she's growing apart from me and I wouldn't mind the time apart to reconvene and collect myself.

I admit and am jealous of you single dude's out there. Marriage or in a thick as thieves relationship can be a drag.

[close]

Man don’t just go and do this because I am still dealing with my shit five years later and still unsure if I made the right decision but yeah I focused an otherwise good relationship cause her family owed me over 20k
One way to look at it is that’s all she was worth
Other way to see it is that it just tuned me bitter and fucked my head up. You gotta do you brother

Anyway I went back to peppers last night to see mates and no fucking shit my Columbian queen was at Woolworths I mean the one I burped on ages ago from my same floor I used to live in and it was just like I had nothing to lose so I didn’t bitch it and go quiet and we had mad chats outside and in lift

No fucking shit she looks like Adria rae but with accent and she loves my dog it’s about time I had a win cunt
We’re gonna hang out soon I need this

fuckin get it matty, hold the burps maaaate

[bigbevev]

Lately, everything seems very bland. I got some energy to skate the other day with some of the loval shop boys, did a trick that felt great but when i saw it i was really sad at how it looked.

On another (but similar) note, I have adhd and though im 26, I still dont know what I want in life. I recently got accepted into a well-paying union, but Ive never been good at working construction, to the point that everybody ive ever worked with thinks that im dumb, which im not. I feel like i have self image issues, and don’t know where to begin. Even now I see my adhd in that I’ve started talking about many things in this post, but never finished any of them in their entirety.  Ive got many tickets, mo health insurance, arthritic hands in my young age, a drug problem, a nasty cigarette habit, and everything just seems insurmountable.

/vent

[matty_c]

Ahh we were gonna do something this weekend but I been busy but yeah been texting all g
I’m not drinking with her though haha I’m gonna keep it chill
Cheers boys

[SneakySecrets]

I leave old keys that I don’t need anymore on my keychain just so it looks to the outside observer like I have a lot of shit locked up somewhere.

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

I leave old keys that I don’t need anymore on my keychain just so it looks to the outside observer like I have a lot of shit locked up somewhere.

hahaha same!
One of them is the key to my parents place back in Aus and even though they’ve sold it and since moved along, it’s a way to still be connected to that place

[GardenSkater77]

[johnes]

I think I want to get divorced and I hate myself for thinking that.

[GardenSkater77]

I think I want to get divorced and I hate myself for thinking that.

I’m so sorry to hear that. Marriage is very important to me but it takes a lot of commitment. I’ve been married going on 18 years this June and I have two wonderful children. I happen to love and like my wife. If you love your wife (which clearly you do) then ask yourself what you don’t like about her. Can the dynamic be changed? You get the idea. Don’t be so hard on yourself or her. She’s your partner. She may be feeling the same way. If I didn’t respect your nose pick game I wouldn’t say anything. Best of luck...

[Freelancevagrant]

One of my single greatest joys in life is letting my dog in after letting him run outside to go the bathroom. He will go to his water bowl and his tail will slowly wag back and forth while he drinks and it literally means the fucking world to me.

[Sila]

My friend's grandfather may pass away soon and I know she wants to lean on me for support but i'm not really in a place of emotional stability to be that person at the moment. She has a lot of close friends but always seems to seek me out for support and I find it to be a bit suffocating/overwhelming.

[lazer69]

I need to give on living in LA. Go back to real life

[matty_c]

You gotta set boundaries everyone wants to help for sure but it’s like on a plane you gotta get your mask on first ay
I reckon everyone struggles with stuff

@Sila @pr1nce @AssMountain you lads on the goldy or what?
I’m in surfers for the next three months for work, I’d be keen to get on the bag with someone or even just go skating

[Dr-Feelgood]

One of my single greatest joys in life is letting my dog in after letting him run outside to go the bathroom. He will go to his water bowl and his tail will slowly wag back and forth while he drinks and it literally means the fucking world to me.

one of the best things about a dog/pet, the wholesome innocent joy they bring from doing the simple things

[DarthDingusMaximus]

I’m a joke of a human being, everyone around me uses me for whatever they can get and it’s my fault for allowing them in my circle.

[Grind King Rims]

I’m a joke of a human being, everyone around me uses me for whatever they can get and it’s my fault for allowing them in my circle.

Damn pal, sounds like you're down bad. We all feel stuck some times. I hope you can have a look at the people you know and maybe make a conscious effort to spend less time/energy on certain people and maybe reach out to other people whose company you enjoy and try and make some shifts in who you spend your time with. It's not always easy, especially as you get older, but trust me, it's part of life and you will thank yourself for it.

Might be a time to reach out to someone who you aren't particularly close with, but whose company you always enjoyed. They might reciprocate it and be happy to shake up their own routine.