Author Topic: real confessions  (Read 1746402 times)

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Easy Slider

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10710 on: November 14, 2023, 10:33:02 AM »
Coming up 3 years sober from alcohol.
Tbh I’m inching closer everyday to a severe relapse.

Don't. I know the feeling, but really bro, it would be a shame. Stay strong.
why come?

Life is too short to be angry at the Shrimp Blunt intro

fineslime

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10711 on: November 15, 2023, 05:41:50 PM »
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So... I've been hooking up with this girl who has commitment issues. She came from a toxic relationship that ended 4 months ago. She says she likes me and the sentiment is true, but we both hook up with other people (i admit i do it just to inflate my ego). When we're together it's great and I can see that what she feels is true. I'll be moving to another apartment and I'm having family issues, I feel like I'm in a transitional period. With that in mind, I decided to limit the relationship until the end of the year, but i'm so anxious. I really like her and I want her to work, but I don't know what to do for this thing work out... What do you guys have to say to me?
[close]
Yeah it didn't worked out

@brucewillis - what ended up happening, if you don't mind me asking? I related a lot to your post. I've been in a transitional period this past year and it's kept me from trying to date or get into a relationship. I hope you're okay with how everything went down!

Baglady

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10712 on: November 16, 2023, 01:17:34 PM »
Thank you
@jewelrunner and @Easyslider
Much love. I hear you. I have those days and sometimes quickly justify falling off the wagon but some affirmations always help. And kind words like I read here.

brucewillis

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10713 on: November 16, 2023, 03:01:33 PM »
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So... I've been hooking up with this girl who has commitment issues. She came from a toxic relationship that ended 4 months ago. She says she likes me and the sentiment is true, but we both hook up with other people (i admit i do it just to inflate my ego). When we're together it's great and I can see that what she feels is true. I'll be moving to another apartment and I'm having family issues, I feel like I'm in a transitional period. With that in mind, I decided to limit the relationship until the end of the year, but i'm so anxious. I really like her and I want her to work, but I don't know what to do for this thing work out... What do you guys have to say to me?
[close]
Yeah it didn't worked out
[close]

@brucewillis - what ended up happening, if you don't mind me asking? I related a lot to your post. I've been in a transitional period this past year and it's kept me from trying to date or get into a relationship. I hope you're okay with how everything went down!

@fineslime Well... It lasted just over three months. She reconnected with her ex, it turns out they both had unfinished business. To be honest I don't know if they are back together. She blocked me right after she "broke up" with me, our relastionship didn't have a label (which really bothered me). Soon after, I ended up going out with my high school crush and we continued to see each other. We've been dating for a month now and it's been wonderful, I see reciprocity and now I know what it's like to not be the only one trying to make the relationship work. Looking back I think I had an unhealthy obsession with making things work with the other girl, now i can also see all her toxic and manipulative traits. I'm very glad with your concern my friend, makes me feel hugged! Everything is great here, I'm in love with someone who also truly loves me! Feel free to DM me if you want to talk about your situation and i also hope everything turn out the best for you, much love homie!

Creachteach

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10714 on: November 21, 2023, 10:16:32 AM »
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I havent been sober for longer than a day in months. I started smoking weed and fucking fell in love. I cannot go a day without smoking or drinking. On top of that I just started my studies and cuz im a youngbuck living by myself is a challenge too. Being fucked up everyday does not help getting trough school, work and life, but i still cant see myself being sober.

Also I really cant talk about this shit with anyone, I only got a handfull of friends most of them couldnt give a fuck and my relationship with my parrents is fucked.

Running out of funds is gonna happen at some point too. Weed and beer is hella expencive in finland.
[close]

Check out the Sobriety thread, other pals are struggling with these issues or can give advice and support.
[close]

Reading it actually helped a lot now im a week sober and going on strong feeling a lot better also going to therapy helped a lot too

Is that you mr. Seppänen?
Im too dumb to figure out how to make this drawing my profile pic.


DOOMSDAY

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10715 on: November 21, 2023, 10:02:15 PM »
My fiancee of a year and girlfriend of 3 years prior (4 years total) left me about a month and a half ago, and I'm completely fucked from it. I've been through break-ups and shit before, I've been suffering from clinical depression since I was a teenager, became addicted to Adderall and nearly overdosed twice, shit I attempted to take my own life at 18, but I'd honestly rather be dead than feel the way I have from this.

I started skating more again, and getting back on my mountain bike, but it all feels so empty. I know that I need to be. doing things I love for myself, I've been spending as much time as possible with friends and family, and allowing myself to feel and process the emotions I've been feeling; all the stuff you're supposed to do.

But to be honest, I'm just fucking tired of it. I've nearly relapsed several times, I'm smoking copious amounts of weed, nothing brings me any joy anymore, and I feel like the things I am doing are just a form of passive suicidal ideation. Because I don't want to take my own life and cause the people I love pain and suffering, but I want someone to take the pain and suffering away from me.

EAT PUSSY!

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10716 on: November 22, 2023, 06:56:32 AM »
My fiancee of a year and girlfriend of 3 years prior (4 years total) left me about a month and a half ago, and I'm completely fucked from it. I've been through break-ups and shit before, I've been suffering from clinical depression since I was a teenager, became addicted to Adderall and nearly overdosed twice, shit I attempted to take my own life at 18, but I'd honestly rather be dead than feel the way I have from this.

I started skating more again, and getting back on my mountain bike, but it all feels so empty. I know that I need to be. doing things I love for myself, I've been spending as much time as possible with friends and family, and allowing myself to feel and process the emotions I've been feeling; all the stuff you're supposed to do.

But to be honest, I'm just fucking tired of it. I've nearly relapsed several times, I'm smoking copious amounts of weed, nothing brings me any joy anymore, and I feel like the things I am doing are just a form of passive suicidal ideation. Because I don't want to take my own life and cause the people I love pain and suffering, but I want someone to take the pain and suffering away from me.

been to break up recently also, these stoic videos are the best things i found so far

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhYVdeXvLYg

specially this part: https://youtu.be/YhYVdeXvLYg?si=RIHYtCiiRHesSuxM&t=620

DOOMSDAY

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10717 on: November 22, 2023, 08:52:36 AM »
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My fiancee of a year and girlfriend of 3 years prior (4 years total) left me about a month and a half ago, and I'm completely fucked from it. I've been through break-ups and shit before, I've been suffering from clinical depression since I was a teenager, became addicted to Adderall and nearly overdosed twice, shit I attempted to take my own life at 18, but I'd honestly rather be dead than feel the way I have from this.

I started skating more again, and getting back on my mountain bike, but it all feels so empty. I know that I need to be. doing things I love for myself, I've been spending as much time as possible with friends and family, and allowing myself to feel and process the emotions I've been feeling; all the stuff you're supposed to do.

But to be honest, I'm just fucking tired of it. I've nearly relapsed several times, I'm smoking copious amounts of weed, nothing brings me any joy anymore, and I feel like the things I am doing are just a form of passive suicidal ideation. Because I don't want to take my own life and cause the people I love pain and suffering, but I want someone to take the pain and suffering away from me.
[close]

been to break up recently also, these stoic videos are the best things i found so far

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhYVdeXvLYg

specially this part: https://youtu.be/YhYVdeXvLYg?si=RIHYtCiiRHesSuxM&t=620

Thank you so much for this, it’s so fucking tough to avoid being self-destructive. I’ll be giving this a listen throughout my day

Allen.

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10718 on: November 27, 2023, 09:29:44 AM »
Coming up 3 years sober from alcohol.
Tbh I’m inching closer everyday to a severe relapse.

The fact that you’re aware of it is better than nothing. Just please, think about all of the clarity and what not sobriety has (presumably) brought you. I believe in you.
For someone w.no signature ur awfully hostile, & that is why I do this

Kumiko

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10719 on: December 26, 2023, 08:46:19 AM »
Sometimes I wish the people I'm closest with would do something horrible to me so I could cut contact with everyone and move some place where no one knows me. I wouldn't even want to "start over" or anything like that. I'd just want to eke out a quiet lil life free of responsibility and obligation. But I also kinda did that once already and was horribly depressed and lonely. I guess I just miss having so much time to myself and interests sometimes.
i love skateboarding all the time, but sometimes i wish i was one of those douchebags who hangs out with hot girls and parties every week

Skibb

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10720 on: December 26, 2023, 10:39:38 PM »
Sometimes I wish the people I'm closest with would do something horrible to me so I could cut contact with everyone and move some place where no one knows me. I wouldn't even want to "start over" or anything like that. I'd just want to eke out a quiet lil life free of responsibility and obligation. But I also kinda did that once already and was horribly depressed and lonely. I guess I just miss having so much time to myself and interests sometimes.

Why do you feel your close ones stop you from having time to yourself? We talking kids here? Friends/family?

Blind Fisherman

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10721 on: December 27, 2023, 01:56:00 PM »
I've come to realize I only really post on here when I'm in the midst of a depressive episode. I feel like I have an easier time voicing my opinions here when I'm in that way because, in my mind while spiraling, none of this shit really matters and I see the futility in it all. I can let my guard down for once, but what is it worth if it's only while I'm on a downswing?

Kumiko

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10722 on: December 27, 2023, 04:08:56 PM »
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Sometimes I wish the people I'm closest with would do something horrible to me so I could cut contact with everyone and move some place where no one knows me. I wouldn't even want to "start over" or anything like that. I'd just want to eke out a quiet lil life free of responsibility and obligation. But I also kinda did that once already and was horribly depressed and lonely. I guess I just miss having so much time to myself and interests sometimes.
[close]

Why do you feel your close ones stop you from having time to yourself? We talking kids here? Friends/family?

I wouldn't say they stop me from having time to myself, just that I don't have as much time as when I was single and friendless and there's a small part of me that misses being totally free and unknown. I certainly don't prefer it to what I've got going now - I just get caught up in "grass is greener" kind of thinking even though I've been on both sides of the fence now.
i love skateboarding all the time, but sometimes i wish i was one of those douchebags who hangs out with hot girls and parties every week

xandeo

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10723 on: January 08, 2024, 03:44:50 AM »
Just go traveling by yourself for a week or two (if you can get away). I'm busy as hell with small kids, friends and general social life (kids and their program fill up the weekends pretty fast), but I also travel 50% of my work time and after a day or two I actually start missing (and appreciate) the craziness/busy life back home. It's nice to belong. 

Garbage Collector

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10724 on: January 10, 2024, 04:34:38 PM »
ive been skating for 13 years, put out footy and got sorta flow, moved cities and picked up a trade, but still… all i can think about is skateboarding and i still feel like the biggest poser, getting vibed out by 16 year olds in baggy pants.

its probably self esteem related but i dont feel like a “skateboarder” and dont think i get to call myself one. i feel identity-less still , like when i had first started.

T4T

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10725 on: January 11, 2024, 02:32:52 AM »
One time I took my car to the garage because my headlights were dim, had put in brand new ultra-bright bulbs and it barely helped. The young guy I was explaining the issue to said "let me have a look" then wiped both the headlights with a microfibre cloth. He then said "T4T, mate, they're filthy. Nothing wrong with them"

I've never felt more stupid in all my life.
schoolteachers can get paid $100k when they get a collab with dragonball

fineslime

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10726 on: January 11, 2024, 06:40:36 PM »
ive been skating for 13 years, put out footy and got sorta flow, moved cities and picked up a trade, but still… all i can think about is skateboarding and i still feel like the biggest poser, getting vibed out by 16 year olds in baggy pants.

its probably self esteem related but i dont feel like a “skateboarder” and dont think i get to call myself one. i feel identity-less still , like when i had first started.

much like Groove, skateboarding is in the heart. I don't skate much at all these days because of a knee injury, but I'm 20+ years deep and I am a skateboarder above all else.

try not to overthink it <3

turdtastic

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10727 on: January 12, 2024, 11:14:19 AM »
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ive been skating for 13 years, put out footy and got sorta flow, moved cities and picked up a trade, but still… all i can think about is skateboarding and i still feel like the biggest poser, getting vibed out by 16 year olds in baggy pants.

its probably self esteem related but i dont feel like a “skateboarder” and dont think i get to call myself one. i feel identity-less still , like when i had first started.
[close]

much like Groove, skateboarding is in the heart. I don't skate much at all these days because of a knee injury, but I'm 20+ years deep and I am a skateboarder above all else.

try not to overthink it <3
I feel this, hawrd.
75% of my life I’ve been loving skateboarding, even though I’ve always been shit at it and unfortunately do it less and less these days.
It’s informed so much of my tastes/perspective in life, I don’t know how else to identify; other than as a big turd…

Garbage Collector

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10728 on: January 12, 2024, 06:08:55 PM »
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ive been skating for 13 years, put out footy and got sorta flow, moved cities and picked up a trade, but still… all i can think about is skateboarding and i still feel like the biggest poser, getting vibed out by 16 year olds in baggy pants.

its probably self esteem related but i dont feel like a “skateboarder” and dont think i get to call myself one. i feel identity-less still , like when i had first started.
[close]

much like Groove, skateboarding is in the heart. I don't skate much at all these days because of a knee injury, but I'm 20+ years deep and I am a skateboarder above all else.

try not to overthink it <3
[close]
I feel this, hawrd.
75% of my life I’ve been loving skateboarding, even though I’ve always been shit at it and unfortunately do it less and less these days.
It’s informed so much of my tastes/perspective in life, I don’t know how else to identify; other than as a big turd…
turdberder

SneakySecrets

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10729 on: January 17, 2024, 04:51:40 PM »
Whenever I tell a barber/hair stylist how I’d like my hair, I always just tell them “whatever you want” and just see what happens. 
When nothing in society deserves respect, we should fashion for ourselves in solitude new silent loyalties.

mynameisnotjeff

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10730 on: January 21, 2024, 09:12:43 PM »
Whenever I tell a barber/hair stylist how I’d like my hair, I always just tell them “whatever you want” and just see what happens.

I've been burned by this and it's rough.

Now to add on to the topic:
I get a comb over and have dabbled with fades.

I have hot dog neck and it's the only thing stopping me from getting them again.
Nothing I do deserves more than an iphone camera.

Madam, I'm Adam

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10731 on: January 23, 2024, 08:16:01 AM »
ive been skating for 13 years, put out footy and got sorta flow, moved cities and picked up a trade, but still… all i can think about is skateboarding and i still feel like the biggest poser, getting vibed out by 16 year olds in baggy pants.

its probably self esteem related but i dont feel like a “skateboarder” and dont think i get to call myself one. i feel identity-less still , like when i had first started.

Dude, 13 years deep, footage, flow, still skating - anybody who doesn't think you skate or vibes you out is a complete moron.

I get how as you get older you may feel less attuned to whatever cultural elements of skating are in place at the moment, which can in turn influence your identity, but I would say just the fact that you're skating and enjoying it is the important thing.

mrselfdestruct

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10732 on: January 25, 2024, 08:54:30 AM »
my balls itch
Mrs Elf is a pretty cool name.

And Mrs Elf destructing is even cooler.

Garbage Collector

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10733 on: January 28, 2024, 03:41:21 AM »
Expand Quote
ive been skating for 13 years, put out footy and got sorta flow, moved cities and picked up a trade, but still… all i can think about is skateboarding and i still feel like the biggest poser, getting vibed out by 16 year olds in baggy pants.

its probably self esteem related but i dont feel like a “skateboarder” and dont think i get to call myself one. i feel identity-less still , like when i had first started.
[close]

Dude, 13 years deep, footage, flow, still skating - anybody who doesn't think you skate or vibes you out is a complete moron.

I get how as you get older you may feel less attuned to whatever cultural elements of skating are in place at the moment, which can in turn influence your identity, but I would say just the fact that you're skating and enjoying it is the important thing.

yeah you hit the nail on the head. im in a “career” trade job now, and even though ive always worked 5 day a week, i feel so unsynced from skating sometimes cuz i still see homies chasing the bag when i go on social media and im in a completely diff world now. im 26, and im tired of check to check. maybe thats just becoming an adult.


i dont understand why sometimes skaters seeing setting yourself up for a good future as a bad thing or giving up. maybe its not just skating and this happens to a lot of friend groups tho.  i wish i met more like minded people that just wanna do the thing and have their shit together lol. at some age it stops being cool to be a burnout. im not on some A Tate shit but its annoying to hear a friend that works 2 days a week complain about money

Easy Slider

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10734 on: January 28, 2024, 03:50:17 AM »
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Expand Quote
ive been skating for 13 years, put out footy and got sorta flow, moved cities and picked up a trade, but still… all i can think about is skateboarding and i still feel like the biggest poser, getting vibed out by 16 year olds in baggy pants.

its probably self esteem related but i dont feel like a “skateboarder” and dont think i get to call myself one. i feel identity-less still , like when i had first started.
[close]

Dude, 13 years deep, footage, flow, still skating - anybody who doesn't think you skate or vibes you out is a complete moron.

I get how as you get older you may feel less attuned to whatever cultural elements of skating are in place at the moment, which can in turn influence your identity, but I would say just the fact that you're skating and enjoying it is the important thing.
[close]

yeah you hit the nail on the head. im in a “career” trade job now, and even though ive always worked 5 day a week, i feel so unsynced from skating sometimes cuz i still see homies chasing the bag when i go on social media and im in a completely diff world now. im 26, and im tired of check to check. maybe thats just becoming an adult.


i dont understand why sometimes skaters seeing setting yourself up for a good future as a bad thing or giving up. maybe its not just skating and this happens to a lot of friend groups tho.  i wish i met more like minded people that just wanna do the thing and have their shit together lol. at some age it stops being cool to be a burnout. im not on some A Tate shit but its annoying to hear a friend that works 2 days a week complain about money

What are you doing in the old dude thread, young buck? Don‘t waste your time with social media or dudes vibing you. Go to work, get paid, skate in the evening or morning and on the weekends. You are doing good bro.
why come?

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Garbage Collector

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10735 on: January 28, 2024, 11:02:12 AM »
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Expand Quote
Expand Quote
ive been skating for 13 years, put out footy and got sorta flow, moved cities and picked up a trade, but still… all i can think about is skateboarding and i still feel like the biggest poser, getting vibed out by 16 year olds in baggy pants.

its probably self esteem related but i dont feel like a “skateboarder” and dont think i get to call myself one. i feel identity-less still , like when i had first started.
[close]

Dude, 13 years deep, footage, flow, still skating - anybody who doesn't think you skate or vibes you out is a complete moron.

I get how as you get older you may feel less attuned to whatever cultural elements of skating are in place at the moment, which can in turn influence your identity, but I would say just the fact that you're skating and enjoying it is the important thing.
[close]

yeah you hit the nail on the head. im in a “career” trade job now, and even though ive always worked 5 day a week, i feel so unsynced from skating sometimes cuz i still see homies chasing the bag when i go on social media and im in a completely diff world now. im 26, and im tired of check to check. maybe thats just becoming an adult.


i dont understand why sometimes skaters seeing setting yourself up for a good future as a bad thing or giving up. maybe its not just skating and this happens to a lot of friend groups tho.  i wish i met more like minded people that just wanna do the thing and have their shit together lol. at some age it stops being cool to be a burnout. im not on some A Tate shit but its annoying to hear a friend that works 2 days a week complain about money
[close]

What are you doing in the old dude thread, young buck? Don‘t waste your time with social media or dudes vibing you. Go to work, get paid, skate in the evening or morning and on the weekends. You are doing good bro.

well i relate more to you “old dudes” who wanna do their thing and dont have time for the bullshit and imo youre not old till you quit skating lol! but thanks guys appreciate you all on here

somethingmustbreaknow

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10736 on: January 29, 2024, 10:50:17 PM »
after skateboarding for nearly 24 years, i don't know anything about wheelbase. and i don't want this to change, ever.

Prostate Exam

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10737 on: January 30, 2024, 06:34:18 AM »
Today I had to help out one of my coworkers with some software stuff. His office is wall to wall with the toilets and turns out, you can hear pretty much everything that happens in those toilets from where he sits. He basically sits back to back with whoever is taking a shit. So if I heard a guy just quietly coughing in there I wonder what else he could hear whenever I was taking a shit there.

I usually unleash total anal assault on these toilets whenever I raided the All-You-Can-Eat Indian buffet the day before.

Now I can barely look the guy in the eye

hmmoookay

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10738 on: February 02, 2024, 09:19:54 AM »
after skateboarding for nearly 24 years, i don't know anything about wheelbase. and i don't want this to change, ever.

if it ain't broke

fakie nollie

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10739 on: February 02, 2024, 04:40:03 PM »
after skateboarding for nearly 24 years, i don't know anything about wheelbase. and i don't want this to change, ever.

It’s the biggest burden once you go down the rabbit hole. Ignorance is bliss