i don't know if i fit in here in terms of sexuality but i want to say big up to yall queer skaters on here and outthere!
beware this is tldr: but if anyone cares: i am not sure about my sexuality since i could be described as what they call greysexual(person with limited sexuality). i am kind of attracted to men and women and also transpeople all the same on an emotional level and even attractiveness, like i still think people are hot, but the gap for me between thinking someones hot to where i want to fuck with them is pretty big. most of my sexuality kind of takes place in my head and i never put much thought into how it's done. i feel oversexualized on one hand because i think a lot of stuff is sexy, i see tons of hot shit everyday, but it doesn't really affect me at the same time. i'm like "that's sick for all the folks who like to bang all the time!" anyways, one of my best friends she's convinced im bi. i kind of acted bi all my life without commiting to any sort of coming out to friends. i was always like "i'd have a boyfriend, too, why not, if i find one." most my friends thought i was fucking with them, their not homophobe, but used to me saying weird shit.
this sounds super dumb but i sometimes wished i had more intrinsic sex drive because no matter what type person i'm interested in, that lack of sex drive makes it different when things get serious. i still can have sex with people, it's probably not good most of the time because it's like work for me. i get erections like a healthy persons but don't know what to do with it because i don't feel like beating off or fucking just because that happens. i haven't had sex yet with a man or transperson, but for me personally due to my lack of sex drive alone it's not anymore outthere than having sex with a women. definetly made out with dudes tho, but even this more drunkenly.
i also had some gender dysphoria when i was a child. i was super depressed i was a boy. i hated the fact i was about to grow a beard later, thought penises are weird and scary and didn't want to have one, and didn't want to do stupid boys stuff. i even forgot a lot of that stuff until my mom told me that i used to dress up with her clothes and jewelry in front of the mirror. i remember having nightmares about mustaches. this is true. i had this nightmare that i couldn't shave off a mustache. i was horrified that this hair will grow on my face over and over again, lol. i guess that my face looks very teenlike and androginous fits that, and i used to get called out as a kid for looking like a girl. another crazy thing someone said to me when i was way older, but way before queers could be open in skateboarding, was that i look and dress like a dyke lesbian. i kind of thought that was a cool compliment because i was always cool with them, haha. nowadays if i was a kid i could imagine myself growing up non-binary, but seeing myself now, i'm content with being cis male. i'd always do stuff like paint my nails or something anyway if i wanted and i reached a point where friends wouldn't even think this says anything about my sexuality. i was just the dude that did stuff like that.
blablabla, i didn't have remotely any of all yall problems since all these things combined make it pretty easy for someone like me to fly under the radar and never have to confront myself with it and i managed to joke away any gnarlyness so far and publicly i'm just a cis male weirdo loner dude. but if we ever skate together and you get hassled i got your back is what i want to say. rise up queers!