SOBRIETY

[Sleazy]

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Great thread, made me create an account and share my journey on the wagon.

My ultimate goal is being able to drink in moderation but it's still hard to see myself do that after 2-3 years of drinking 6-8 beers on week days and Jah knows how many over the weekend.

Quit drinking for over a month now and I've been starting to notice the positive differences as of the start of week 4.

If anyone out there has tried or really wants to quit but doesn't seem able to, it really gets better with time.

In my experience, it took 3 weeks of having pretty bad mood swings and feeling lazy (nothing different than when I was drinking apart from the beers not being an option to numb my negative thoughts)

As soon as my mood slowly started improving and energy levels went back up, I made myself get up an hour earlier to do some kind of exercise before work (office job - sitting down 8 hours a day 5 days/week) as I'm currently coming back from an injury which has stopped me from skating for about a month now.

Still a work in progress and I have done a month on the wagon here and there before but this is the first time where I've been wanting to keep it going as I'm blown away by how much better I feel both mentally and physically.

Can't wait to finally get back on the board with a body and mind that doesn't consist of 60% beer.

Good luck too all of you trying to make positive changes in their lives!

[close]

props man and welcome to the board


new trick i've been doing lately. i keep mexican cokes in the fridge and at the end of the day when i'm tired and want to relax with a drink it makes a nice treat plus has some caffeine and sugar. been leaning on those and flavored soda water. also been hitting the kind bars at night for a tv watching treat.

[close]

These are actually pretty damn good, I was always a sucker for these ones:

i'll have to get those in the mix. i keep three different types stocked usually and the one below is me and the kids current favorite. i like having a coconut option too. i actually like these better than candy bars at this point, so satisfying.

[jack burton]

Coming up on three years with out a drink and im really starting to not give a shit anymore. I hate AA and the only thing my other sober friends offer up is that drinking is not worth it. Would see a therapist but I stopped due to it being $80 a visit and now they no longer take my insurance. So I have come here to rant about struggling with sobriety while isolated in the suburbs.

[50mm]

20 days no weed today. Hoping to stay off it forever. I like it but it's always such a game changer when I quit.

[Womb Service]

20 days no weed today. Hoping to stay off it forever. I like it but it's always such a game changer when I quit.

Good job man!

Still off the sauce. Amost two months and it's still weird in certain situations.

Never really considered to quit weed though.

I did drastically cut down from smoking all day to now only smoking a tiny spliff in the evenings and I like it to self-reflect at the end of the day and look at things from different perspective.

Of course it impacts every individual differently but I'm interested in hearing what made you want to quit.

[os89]

Really stoked for you guys keeping it up. I am still struggling a bit with my shit, but hope to get it together soon. Fuck opiates holy shit. Need to get my drinking in order now (weed will have to wait). Really love to read about all you pals actually having the strength to do it, regardless of what specifically it actually is your giving up, its not easy, but its not impossible. Shalom y'all!

[chris.]

Never really clicked around Whatever since I came back to Slap but I’m glad I found this thread. I’ll post a little more at some point but just wanted to check in and say much love to everybody here.

[50mm]

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20 days no weed today. Hoping to stay off it forever. I like it but it's always such a game changer when I quit.

[close]

Good job man!

Still off the sauce. Amost two months and it's still weird in certain situations.

Never really considered to quit weed though.

I did drastically cut down from smoking all day to now only smoking a tiny spliff in the evenings and I like it to self-reflect at the end of the day and look at things from different perspective.

Of course it impacts every individual differently but I'm interested in hearing what made you want to quit.

Well for one thing, smoking regular weed just makes me so slow and unmotivated. For the last several months I was buying supposedly CBD weed just so that it would be much weaker and not make me feel so burned out. I can't moderate my smoking. Its all or nothing. The longest I've quit in the past like 10 years was like 6 months and I was way more responsible and functional and able to handle things. More outgoing and less anxious. So I've always wished I could just smoke occasionally but it always turns into an everyday thing. I was smoking that weak stuff, and it kind of worked, but I would still space out around my girlfriend and at work. I started going back to my psych because of my anxiety and inability to function at work and I'm honest when I talk with them. He said he would only treat me and prescribe medication if I was willing to submit to drug testing. It's actually something that a lot of psychiatrists are doing to cover their asses with new laws. I agreed because being on medication makes me much more functional and able to enjoy life and I value that more than getting high. I was already cutting back so much I thought it would be a great way to make sure that I didn't have the option to smoke because I will be held accountable and there will be consequences if I do. I've only quit for more than a month like 3 or 4 times in all these years, and the fact that I'm on a great medication combo has made me not even really think about it too much. I had really bad cravings about a week ago, but it has passed and I don't even really count the days, I just kind of think oh wow, its been 20 days.

I've tried to quit and stick with it for like 6 years now and I always give in. I'm a total bum when I'm smoking, and the total opposite when I don't. I wish I could control it but I know I can't. Weed is the only substance I have ever had trouble quitting oddly enough. And I never even got into like all kinds of crazy concentrates. Just like regular ass weed and edibles before CA regulated them to be a weak waste of money.

[Womb Service]

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20 days no weed today. Hoping to stay off it forever. I like it but it's always such a game changer when I quit.

[close]

Good job man!

Still off the sauce. Amost two months and it's still weird in certain situations.

Never really considered to quit weed though.

I did drastically cut down from smoking all day to now only smoking a tiny spliff in the evenings and I like it to self-reflect at the end of the day and look at things from different perspective.

Of course it impacts every individual differently but I'm interested in hearing what made you want to quit.

[close]

Well for one thing, smoking regular weed just makes me so slow and unmotivated. For the last several months I was buying supposedly CBD weed just so that it would be much weaker and not make me feel so burned out. I can't moderate my smoking. Its all or nothing. The longest I've quit in the past like 10 years was like 6 months and I was way more responsible and functional and able to handle things. More outgoing and less anxious. So I've always wished I could just smoke occasionally but it always turns into an everyday thing. I was smoking that weak stuff, and it kind of worked, but I would still space out around my girlfriend and at work. I started going back to my psych because of my anxiety and inability to function at work and I'm honest when I talk with them. He said he would only treat me and prescribe medication if I was willing to submit to drug testing. It's actually something that a lot of psychiatrists are doing to cover their asses with new laws. I agreed because being on medication makes me much more functional and able to enjoy life and I value that more than getting high. I was already cutting back so much I thought it would be a great way to make sure that I didn't have the option to smoke because I will be held accountable and there will be consequences if I do. I've only quit for more than a month like 3 or 4 times in all these years, and the fact that I'm on a great medication combo has made me not even really think about it too much. I had really bad cravings about a week ago, but it has passed and I don't even really count the days, I just kind of think oh wow, its been 20 days.

I've tried to quit and stick with it for like 6 years now and I always give in. I'm a total bum when I'm smoking, and the total opposite when I don't. I wish I could control it but I know I can't. Weed is the only substance I have ever had trouble quitting oddly enough. And I never even got into like all kinds of crazy concentrates. Just like regular ass weed and edibles before CA regulated them to be a weak waste of money.

I feel you. Being unproductive was one of the reasons for me to cut down. On top of that I felt that being high all day also made me avoid social interaction when possible. I'm already a quite reserved and introverted person so smoking weed only amplifies that.

Can't relate much to the anxiety as the only episodes I've had were when coming down from benders in the past and those were terrible. Can only imagine how it feels dealing with this on a regular basis.

I know this isn't for everyone but mushrooms really helped me make mental clicks to start different and healthier lifestyle routines.

I would always realize when my drinking or drug use started getting out of hand and that I needed to quit but once stuck in a negative pattern, feeling that these substances are the only way to feel good, made it hard to actually make changes.

Some guy used the analogy of your mind being a snow topped mountain and every day you take your sled and go down. By going down the mountain you create grooves in the snow, these grooves being your daily routines. Over time, every day you go sled down you can't help but slip back into these grooves. When having an intense experience on mushrooms it's like there's fresh snow on your mountain and you can take a different way down without slipping back into these old grooves.

Sounds corny but I find it quite accurate. After a trip where I've felt so connected with nature and being so deep into my thoughts, I usually come out with a new appreciation of everything and everyone around me and this motivates me to work on things I don't like about my life/behaviour and actually stick to them.

Lately starting thinking how fortunate I feel about having found skateboarding 15 years ago. I realize I've wasted the past 3 years due to drinking and partying which at first was a bummer. Now I'm more stoked than ever as this injury is finally healed up, I'm in the best shape I've been in since my early 20's and I'm looking at my first session in 2 months this weekend.

Hope talking to the psych helps and things start looking brighter soon - hang in there!

Really stoked for you guys keeping it up. I am still struggling a bit with my shit, but hope to get it together soon. Fuck opiates holy shit. Need to get my drinking in order now (weed will have to wait). Really love to read about all you pals actually having the strength to do it, regardless of what specifically it actually is your giving up, its not easy, but its not impossible. Shalom y'all!

Drinking is a damn hard one to give up but as you said: regardless of what specifically it actually is your giving up, its not easy, but its not impossible.

All the best to you!

[Abyss1]

been doing the sober thing on and off for last 3yrs, like 1 1/2 months max, then a couple weeks of drinking...which has at least one day of drinking binging (6-12 beers nothing heavy).

This year i've gotten past the furthest and was gifted my favorite beer last week. kind of almost gave into drinking them yesterday...even though im not drinking I STRONGLY believe one should NEVER waste alcohol or weed, not going to throw them away... the will power prevailed thanks to video games

[50mm]

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20 days no weed today. Hoping to stay off it forever. I like it but it's always such a game changer when I quit.

[close]

Good job man!

Still off the sauce. Amost two months and it's still weird in certain situations.

Never really considered to quit weed though.

I did drastically cut down from smoking all day to now only smoking a tiny spliff in the evenings and I like it to self-reflect at the end of the day and look at things from different perspective.

Of course it impacts every individual differently but I'm interested in hearing what made you want to quit.

[close]

Well for one thing, smoking regular weed just makes me so slow and unmotivated. For the last several months I was buying supposedly CBD weed just so that it would be much weaker and not make me feel so burned out. I can't moderate my smoking. Its all or nothing. The longest I've quit in the past like 10 years was like 6 months and I was way more responsible and functional and able to handle things. More outgoing and less anxious. So I've always wished I could just smoke occasionally but it always turns into an everyday thing. I was smoking that weak stuff, and it kind of worked, but I would still space out around my girlfriend and at work. I started going back to my psych because of my anxiety and inability to function at work and I'm honest when I talk with them. He said he would only treat me and prescribe medication if I was willing to submit to drug testing. It's actually something that a lot of psychiatrists are doing to cover their asses with new laws. I agreed because being on medication makes me much more functional and able to enjoy life and I value that more than getting high. I was already cutting back so much I thought it would be a great way to make sure that I didn't have the option to smoke because I will be held accountable and there will be consequences if I do. I've only quit for more than a month like 3 or 4 times in all these years, and the fact that I'm on a great medication combo has made me not even really think about it too much. I had really bad cravings about a week ago, but it has passed and I don't even really count the days, I just kind of think oh wow, its been 20 days.

I've tried to quit and stick with it for like 6 years now and I always give in. I'm a total bum when I'm smoking, and the total opposite when I don't. I wish I could control it but I know I can't. Weed is the only substance I have ever had trouble quitting oddly enough. And I never even got into like all kinds of crazy concentrates. Just like regular ass weed and edibles before CA regulated them to be a weak waste of money.

[close]

I feel you. Being unproductive was one of the reasons for me to cut down. On top of that I felt that being high all day also made me avoid social interaction when possible. I'm already a quite reserved and introverted person so smoking weed only amplifies that.

Can't relate much to the anxiety as the only episodes I've had were when coming down from benders in the past and those were terrible. Can only imagine how it feels dealing with this on a regular basis.

I know this isn't for everyone but mushrooms really helped me make mental clicks to start different and healthier lifestyle routines.

I would always realize when my drinking or drug use started getting out of hand and that I needed to quit but once stuck in a negative pattern, feeling that these substances are the only way to feel good, made it hard to actually make changes.

Some guy used the analogy of your mind being a snow topped mountain and every day you take your sled and go down. By going down the mountain you create grooves in the snow, these grooves being your daily routines. Over time, every day you go sled down you can't help but slip back into these grooves. When having an intense experience on mushrooms it's like there's fresh snow on your mountain and you can take a different way down without slipping back into these old grooves.

Sounds corny but I find it quite accurate. After a trip where I've felt so connected with nature and being so deep into my thoughts, I usually come out with a new appreciation of everything and everyone around me and this motivates me to work on things I don't like about my life/behaviour and actually stick to them.

Lately starting thinking how fortunate I feel about having found skateboarding 15 years ago. I realize I've wasted the past 3 years due to drinking and partying which at first was a bummer. Now I'm more stoked than ever as this injury is finally healed up, I'm in the best shape I've been in since my early 20's and I'm looking at my first session in 2 months this weekend.

Hope talking to the psych helps and things start looking brighter soon - hang in there!

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Really stoked for you guys keeping it up. I am still struggling a bit with my shit, but hope to get it together soon. Fuck opiates holy shit. Need to get my drinking in order now (weed will have to wait). Really love to read about all you pals actually having the strength to do it, regardless of what specifically it actually is your giving up, its not easy, but its not impossible. Shalom y'all!

[close]

Drinking is a damn hard one to give up but as you said: regardless of what specifically it actually is your giving up, its not easy, but its not impossible.

All the best to you!

Makes sense to me. And honestly I have been wanting to do mushrooms for a couple years now, just haven't had an opportunity. Even my girlfriend who is anti-drug has talked about wanting to do it, she did a tiny bit when she was young, but didn't feel it too crazy, she's never even smoked weed lol. Weed is the only thing I have a problem with. Even though I drank a ton when I was young, I never had trouble stopping. I've done blow for like a whole summer and never bought it for personal use or had trouble stopping, have taken pain pills and all that shit. Only weed is a problem for me, I think it is for a lot of people but there is so much bullshit pro-pot propaganda, it's just as dumb to me as ant-pot propaganda. Everything in moderation, and I think I clicked with weed because my mind races so much with anxiety that it would slow it down, but too much so. When I first drank I liked it because it made me less anxious at parties, but still, I never had a problem with it. I've gotten in trouble with drinking, but just the kind that any skate type kid could. I got a DUI at 19 because we were leaving a show and my friends were totally shit faced. I didn't drive us there but I was too scared to let them drive and got popped. A car was riding my ass in my friends fucked up car, and as I'm about to stop at a light I didn't stop all the way because I thought they were going to hit us. Then the blue and red lights, and that's all she wrote. But like now, I had 2 or 3 drinks on Christmas, and besides that I drank like maybe 1 time the whole year prior. Still haven't had a drink since then. I will in a week or so though because I'm moving home and Chili's is right there, and I love those fucking margaritas lol.

[iKobrakai]

been doing the sober thing on and off for last 3yrs, like 1 1/2 months max, then a couple weeks of drinking...which has at least one day of drinking binging (6-12 beers nothing heavy).

This year i've gotten past the furthest and was gifted my favorite beer last week. kind of almost gave into drinking them yesterday...even though im not drinking I STRONGLY believe one should NEVER waste alcohol or weed, not going to throw them away... the will power prevailed thanks to video games

Never waste drugs? When I was fiending, I'd take as much as I could and fall a sleep ten minutes later. Wake up sick and wish I did not waste all that dope.

[Carrolls Chesthairs]

Thought I was gonna celebrate last night cause an article of mine got posted but I went out to dinner then bought these instead. Onto month three of sobriety

[rawr1922]

Mental health declining so hopping back on the sober train.   
Day 1 again

[Abyss1]

Thought I was gonna celebrate last night cause an article of mine got posted but I went out to dinner then bought these instead. Onto month three of sobriety

Yea this whole quarantine thing has me bored at times ... and a couple of times when I went to the local 7-11 I thought about getting some tall boys but end up getting Red Bull’s

Been about to 10yrs since I’ve been 4 months sober

[S.]

Yo. I joined you guys about four weeks ago. My girlfriend convinced me to join her in giving up alcohol for lent this year. I am not religious at all but I figured it would be a good way to get in shape for spring.

It definitely felt abit weird on the first two weekends to go out without drinking. I have a bit of social anxiety sometimes and drinking always does wonders for that. It was fine though. I kind of got a littel buzz off the vibe of the people arround me and I just left when people got annoying. I have more energy now and it is great not to get hangovers. I have regretted my comitment abit since Corona forces me to spend so much time at home. Some days I would like to relax with a few beers. I also miss drinking when playing music with friends.
I will definitely get back into moderate drinking after easter. 

[iKobrakai]

I also shit my pants lol (though nobody knew that)

Wrong. Everybody knew.

The Moderation Management program recommends ceasing drinking and drug use for about 6 months when you start.

Question: If I could do that, I would not be in the fucking program to begin with, right?

[Binomial Nomenclature]

I don't think I have posted in this thread yet, but I have been reading all of it and I appreciate how open everyone is about their lifestyles and alcohol consumption. I'm still working out what approach is best for me.
I normally drink beer and wine in moderation, maybe like three beers three nights a week. But COVID-19 stress has got me drinking almost every night and in higher volume. My eating habits are also worse as I am stress eating. Anyone else experiencing this?

[Salsa Verde]

I don't think I have posted in this thread yet, but I have been reading all of it and I appreciate how open everyone is about their lifestyles and alcohol consumption. I'm still working out what approach is best for me.
I normally drink beer and wine in moderation, maybe like three beers three nights a week. But COVID-19 stress has got me drinking almost every night and in higher volume. My eating habits are also worse as I am stress eating. Anyone else experiencing this?

Yes

[Fat Tire]

I don't think I have posted in this thread yet, but I have been reading all of it and I appreciate how open everyone is about their lifestyles and alcohol consumption. I'm still working out what approach is best for me.
I normally drink beer and wine in moderation, maybe like three beers three nights a week. But COVID-19 stress has got me drinking almost every night and in higher volume. My eating habits are also worse as I am stress eating. Anyone else experiencing this?

I've been stress eating yes, I'm however cutting out all alcohol until this all blows over.

However long that takes.

[burtreynolds.jpeg]

Proud to say I haven't drank in over 5 months.

My mental and physical health is still kinda shite having an autoimmune disease. However, I think not drinking helps me more than I think.

With everything going on in the world and my personal life, it's really hard to not break the sober train but maybe now is the time to gain back some consciousness and confidence to push through without a vice.

Cheers to anyone who is trying to get sober, and cheers to the people who can handle using substances. Hope you are all doing well and staying healthy!

[iKobrakai]

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The Moderation Management program recommends ceasing drinking and drug use for about 6 months when you start.

[close]

Question: If I could do that, I would not be in the fucking program to begin with, right?

[close]

You can't stop drinking for 6 months after you identify your bottom?  Maybe you should be in AA...

That is my point. I used while being in the rehab...

[rawr1922]

Taking my buddy for one last trip then helping him move to a 30 day rehab facility tomorrow. Happy for him.  Ironic, should be joining him but he's into harder stuff. Day 5 sober for me

[Flying Rodent]

I'll try to avoid telling my entire life story here, but basically I'm 32 now and I've been drinking way too heavily since my early 20s. Before that I would binge drink on weekends, but at some point it started happening all through the week.

At it's worst, a few years ago, I was drinking up to 20 beers a night, at least every second day. Often the benders would last a good four or more days, then I might have one day off.

Since I met my fiance three years ago I've managed to keep it mostly to weekends, but I'm still unable to control myself once I hit the bottle. Every weekend, I literally write a list of mistakes not to repeat, yet I end up repeating them every time.

It's mostly staying up on my own, drinking a stupid amount and listening to music in a trance until I pass out on the couch. Often I'll wake up about 4am, stumble off to bed, then I'm awake at 6am without fail and can't get back to sleep.

It really fucks my weekends because I always feel like shit come Saturday. Lacking sleep, irritable, regretful of all the stupid fucking messages I sent to people the night before (usually just telling them how awesome they are - I'm a happy drunk for the most part) and time I wasted scrolling through instagram like a zombie. If I'm back home with my friends, it can be even worse because I get so excited that we just drink all afternoon while skating and then all fucking night. Fat chance of having a good skate after that.

Usually the only way to feel better and to make myself skate (or do any of my other hobbies) is to get back on the bottle. This has become another problem too: I find it really difficult to skate without drinking. It just feels so much better and I'm so much more motivated when I'm drinking beers.

Then there's Mondays, they're usually always fucked, even if i don't drink on Sunday. I don't feel normal again until Tuesday or Wednesday, and by Friday, I'm ready to do it all over again.

Well, two weekends ago I woke up Sunday morning in my bed, in a puddle of my own piss. I don't think that's ever happened before. My fiance - with whom I'm trying for a baby at the moment - was so fucking bummed. I was convinced last weekend would be different, but it was the same old story (sans pissing the bed).

Anyway, I think I've come to the end of the road and need to make some changes. I've felt like this a million times before. I can stay motivated for a time, and then something clicks and I'm back to my old self. Last October I went a whole month without a drop. It was great for about two weeks, then it was torture.

Part of the issue is that I cannot do moderation at all. I suppose, I'd ideally like to be able to keep drinking in moderation - but I'm starting to realise I may need to just quit altogether.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

[fakie nollie]

I'll try to avoid telling my entire life story here, but basically I'm 32 now and I've been drinking way too heavily since my early 20s. Before that I would binge drink on weekends, but at some point it started happening all through the week.

At it's worst, a few years ago, I was drinking up to 20 beers a night, at least every second day. Often the benders would last a good four or more days, then I might have one day off.

Since I met my fiance three years ago I've managed to keep it mostly to weekends, but I'm still unable to control myself once I hit the bottle. Every weekend, I literally write a list of mistakes not to repeat, yet I end up repeating them every time.

It's mostly staying up on my own, drinking a stupid amount and listening to music in a trance until I pass out on the couch. Often I'll wake up about 4am, stumble off to bed, then I'm awake at 6am without fail and can't get back to sleep.

It really fucks my weekends because I always feel like shit come Saturday. Lacking sleep, irritable, regretful of all the stupid fucking messages I sent to people the night before (usually just telling them how awesome they are - I'm a happy drunk for the most part) and time I wasted scrolling through instagram like a zombie. If I'm back home with my friends, it can be even worse because I get so excited that we just drink all afternoon while skating and then all fucking night. Fat chance of having a good skate after that.

Usually the only way to feel better and to make myself skate (or do any of my other hobbies) is to get back on the bottle. This has become another problem too: I find it really difficult to skate without drinking. It just feels so much better and I'm so much more motivated when I'm drinking beers.

Then there's Mondays, they're usually always fucked, even if i don't drink on Sunday. I don't feel normal again until Tuesday or Wednesday, and by Friday, I'm ready to do it all over again.

Well, two weekends ago I woke up Sunday morning in my bed, in a puddle of my own piss. I don't think that's ever happened before. My fiance - with whom I'm trying for a baby at the moment - was so fucking bummed. I was convinced last weekend would be different, but it was the same old story (sans pissing the bed).

Anyway, I think I've come to the end of the road and need to make some changes. I've felt like this a million times before. I can stay motivated for a time, and then something clicks and I'm back to my old self. Last October I went a whole month without a drop. It was great for about two weeks, then it was torture.

Part of the issue is that I cannot do moderation at all. I suppose, I'd ideally like to be able to keep drinking in moderation - but I'm starting to realise I may need to just quit altogether.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

I wrote a massive response but ended up deleting it. Given your situation, I would try to find an AA meeting around you. Being free, you'll meet some characters but you'll also meet some people you'll see eye-to-eye with. I don't go to NA anymore but, when I did, it was good knowing I wasn't alone and could talk to people who know what it's like.

[EdLawndale]

Flying Rodent, do you consider this your "bottom"?
Is this the lowest point you are willing to let your drinking take you? Pissing yourself and scrolling your valuable time away off into The Ether?

If so, sounds like you wanna quit, bro. I say pick a date and go cold turkey if your body can handle it. Throw out all alcohol around your house. Find some AA meet ups either irl or online if ur under lockdown rn.

What did it feel like for you where the last 2 weeks of a past sober month were "torture"? Maybe if you can come up with a plan for how you are going to combat those feelings this time around, you will be more successful.

Does your fiancee drink? What's her deal?

As for hobbies and skating, don't worry about that shit. That shit is like riding a bike. You won't ever lose it and once your body and mind have acclimated to sober living, the creative and joyous stuff will be waiting for you to pick it back up.

Good luck, holmes.

[JudoOrigami]

What helped me quit drinking was having no money I would just spend any extra money that would normally go to drinking at the start of the month on something else

shoes over booze

[Abyss1]

What helped me was actually addressing why I was drinking so much in the first place

[Flying Rodent]

Flying Rodent, do you consider this your "bottom"?
Is this the lowest point you are willing to let your drinking take you? Pissing yourself and scrolling your valuable time away off into The Ether?

If so, sounds like you wanna quit, bro. I say pick a date and go cold turkey if your body can handle it. Throw out all alcohol around your house. Find some AA meet ups either irl or online if ur under lockdown rn.

What did it feel like for you where the last 2 weeks of a past sober month were "torture"? Maybe if you can come up with a plan for how you are going to combat those feelings this time around, you will be more successful.

Does your fiancee drink? What's her deal?

As for hobbies and skating, don't worry about that shit. That shit is like riding a bike. You won't ever lose it and once your body and mind have acclimated to sober living, the creative and joyous stuff will be waiting for you to pick it back up.

Good luck, holmes.

Thanks to everyone who replied, sorry it took me a week to reply.

Fakie Nollie - I've definitely considered AA before. Not seriously, but it's crossed my mind. I know there is a group where I live, I'll have to find out if they're doing it online during the pandemic. Hopefully they won't snicker at me when I explain "I'm an alcoholic who drinks on weekends". Hah.

EdLawndale - No, it's not my lowest point. A few years back I was much lower than I am now and drinking more. Living alone, avoiding my friends, smoking a lot of weed on and off (don't do that anymore) and working a dead-end job I fucking hated. I think the difference now is that I'm older and drinking is punishing my body more. The massive nights just absolutely ruin me now. I'm also on antidepressants and I don't think booze mixes well with them. It's like a big come down after a couple of days of drinking.

As for the torture, well, I felt really positive for those first couple of weeks. Healthy, motivated, etc. But then I just wanted to drink again. I was so resentful when the weekend came that I "couldn't" do it. Felt like time was dragging and nothing was very enjoyable. Didn't quite know what to do with myself. Would go skate and then not even want to go home, like there was nothing to look forward to.

The fiance does drink, but not often. She was a big party animal before we met. She's two years older than me and pretty mellow now. She can still hit it when it's called for, but usually doesn't touch the stuff or only has one or two drinks.

I hadn't planned to drink this weekend but I had a super shitty week at work and had a minor meltdown on Friday. I did manage to call it quits after a sixer last night and was in bed at 10.15pm. I was pretty stoked on that and was able to function well today. I'd like to think I can do this moderation thing but I know it's a slippery slope.

Thanks again to everyone who took the time to reply to me, it actually means a lot.

[EdLawndale]

Good job on just the sixer

[Sila]

It's all about the small victories. Hopefully they add up and you can keep up drinking in moderation or cut it entirely if that's what you need.