real confessions

[Francis Xavier]

Bro. You have definitely not done the most basic amount of research Iggy pop.

Fuck this made me laugh.

I found out yesterday afternoon that I had put on my boxer briefs inside out and just left it as is.

I also really want to skate, but my collarbone just about healed and I know I will slam and rebreak that fucker

[jakeumms]

I also really want to skate, but my collarbone just about healed and I know I will slam and rebreak that fucker

How long has it been? Did it heal clean or jagged?

[Francis Xavier]

Expand Quote

I also really want to skate, but my collarbone just about healed and I know I will slam and rebreak that fucker

[close]

How long has it been? Did it heal clean or jagged?

6 weeks and it was clean

[L33Tg33k]

My fursona is a lion and his name is Rory.

[Buck Bundy]

Ok, here we go. I’ve been partying/doing drugs since I was 14. By the time I was 18 I had tried just about everything. I stopped doing all the hard shit and just drank and smoked until I was 25. I went to Bonnaroo (2005/2006 I think) and out of necessity, I did coke so I could drink all day and night and not miss any of the bands I wanted to see. After that I would do it occasionally which of course turned into every time I drank (3-4 times a week). By 33 I had pretty much quit doing coke but still drank a lot. Due to some health problems I had to stop drinking. The last time I was drunk was 1/16/18....but from the age of 32 till 38, I was doing a lot of opiates. Usually story, stared with Vicodin’s, then Norcos, then percs. Once those stopped working I graduated to the real deal. While I’ve never shot up, it’s been a daily habit of snorting it. It’s been about a year and a half and I fucking hate it. I don’t get high anymore. All it does is keeps the withdrawals away. Every time I try to quit I make it about 36 hrs and I’m ready to kill myself from the withdrawals. I’m at 36 hrs right now. I got some Xanax and some tramadol to help with the restless legs, hot n cold sweats, and the overall pain that is everywhere. I’ve managed to keep it pretty hidden and although my friends suspect it, they don’t know for sure. I just got a gram of some coke so I could do a little and clean my apartment. Anything to take my mind off of how shitty I feel. I’m not going to treatment because then my parents will know and it will absolutely kill them. Any fellow slap members have advice? I know I could go to a dr and try and get suboxen or methadone, but I just want to be done with this. Like I said, I hate this. Everyday is the same thing, call the dealer, race to his house and back home so I can feel better. I’ve been to 2 meetings and it didn’t help at all. I didn’t like telling strangers in person that I’m a piece of shit. I figured I’d try here cause I know there’s other members like me. Like I said, any advice is greatly appreciated.

[chris gentryfied]

Ok, here we go. I’ve been partying/doing drugs since I was 14. By the time I was 18 I had tried just about everything. I stopped doing all the hard shit and just drank and smoked until I was 25. I went to Bonnaroo (2005/2006 I think) and out of necessity, I did coke so I could drink all day and night and not miss any of the bands I wanted to see. After that I would do it occasionally which of course turned into every time I drank (3-4 times a week). By 33 I had pretty much quit doing coke but still drank a lot. Due to some health problems I had to stop drinking. The last time I was drunk was 1/16/18....but from the age of 32 till 38, I was doing a lot of opiates. Usually story, stared with Vicodin’s, then Norcos, then percs. Once those stopped working I graduated to the real deal. While I’ve never shot up, it’s been a daily habit of snorting it. It’s been about a year and a half and I fucking hate it. I don’t get high anymore. All it does is keeps the withdrawals away. Every time I try to quit I make it about 36 hrs and I’m ready to kill myself from the withdrawals. I’m at 36 hrs right now. I got some Xanax and some tramadol to help with the restless legs, hot n cold sweats, and the overall pain that is everywhere. I’ve managed to keep it pretty hidden and although my friends suspect it, they don’t know for sure. I just got a gram of some coke so I could do a little and clean my apartment. Anything to take my mind off of how shitty I feel. I’m not going to treatment because then my parents will know and it will absolutely kill them. Any fellow slap members have advice? I know I could go to a dr and try and get suboxen or methadone, but I just want to be done with this. Like I said, I hate this. Everyday is the same thing, call the dealer, race to his house and back home so I can feel better. I’ve been to 2 meetings and it didn’t help at all. I didn’t like telling strangers in person that I’m a piece of shit. I figured I’d try here cause I know there’s other members like me. Like I said, any advice is greatly appreciated.

it gets easier every time you attempt quitting. most of us who've walked away will say it was easy the time it worked [but impossible every time we failed]. apparently the 7th time is the magic number though i'm sure that's not exact science. but basically if you've contemplated before, it'll be added towards this time. after 36 hours you should be just about out of teh woods i'd think at least that was usually my window. methadone took a lot longer.
i went onto subs last time and weaned offa them. bad news is i'll do a bunch of kratom nowadays, how you do one thing is how you do everything. but it's a lot cheaper so better in that regards. subs ain't bad, a tiny piece lasts a while but they've got a long afterlife.
i don't really fucks w/ groups or meetings or any of that, just get free of it and skate. any other hobbies you got, get back into em. you'll have all this free time now that you're not sick, jammed or in between.
i guess this is what i tell people and it's vaguely based offa one of the 12 steps, service of others. i got bees and so i take care of bees compulsively [7 hives after 3 yrs]. it could be volunteering somewhere or having a dog or whatever but doing for someone asides yourself. i don't apologize for all my transgressions but i try to send a couple bucks or whatever to people who did me a solid when i was down and out. it's in the same spirit but my dumb intuitive version. wrangle some younger skaters and build a DIY. keep busy, boredom is behind most drinking/drug abuse.

[Buck Bundy]

Expand Quote

Ok, here we go. I’ve been partying/doing drugs since I was 14. By the time I was 18 I had tried just about everything. I stopped doing all the hard shit and just drank and smoked until I was 25. I went to Bonnaroo (2005/2006 I think) and out of necessity, I did coke so I could drink all day and night and not miss any of the bands I wanted to see. After that I would do it occasionally which of course turned into every time I drank (3-4 times a week). By 33 I had pretty much quit doing coke but still drank a lot. Due to some health problems I had to stop drinking. The last time I was drunk was 1/16/18....but from the age of 32 till 38, I was doing a lot of opiates. Usually story, stared with Vicodin’s, then Norcos, then percs. Once those stopped working I graduated to the real deal. While I’ve never shot up, it’s been a daily habit of snorting it. It’s been about a year and a half and I fucking hate it. I don’t get high anymore. All it does is keeps the withdrawals away. Every time I try to quit I make it about 36 hrs and I’m ready to kill myself from the withdrawals. I’m at 36 hrs right now. I got some Xanax and some tramadol to help with the restless legs, hot n cold sweats, and the overall pain that is everywhere. I’ve managed to keep it pretty hidden and although my friends suspect it, they don’t know for sure. I just got a gram of some coke so I could do a little and clean my apartment. Anything to take my mind off of how shitty I feel. I’m not going to treatment because then my parents will know and it will absolutely kill them. Any fellow slap members have advice? I know I could go to a dr and try and get suboxen or methadone, but I just want to be done with this. Like I said, I hate this. Everyday is the same thing, call the dealer, race to his house and back home so I can feel better. I’ve been to 2 meetings and it didn’t help at all. I didn’t like telling strangers in person that I’m a piece of shit. I figured I’d try here cause I know there’s other members like me. Like I said, any advice is greatly appreciated.

[close]

it gets easier every time you attempt quitting. most of us who've walked away will say it was easy the time it worked [but impossible every time we failed]. apparently the 7th time is the magic number though i'm sure that's not exact science. but basically if you've contemplated before, it'll be added towards this time. after 36 hours you should be just about out of teh woods i'd think at least that was usually my window. methadone took a lot longer.
i went onto subs last time and weaned offa them. bad news is i'll do a bunch of kratom nowadays, how you do one thing is how you do everything. but it's a lot cheaper so better in that regards. subs ain't bad, a tiny piece lasts a while but they've got a long afterlife.
i don't really fucks w/ groups or meetings or any of that, just get free of it and skate. any other hobbies you got, get back into em. you'll have all this free time now that you're not sick, jammed or in between.
i guess this is what i tell people and it's vaguely based offa one of the 12 steps, service of others. i got bees and so i take care of bees compulsively [7 hives after 3 yrs]. it could be volunteering somewhere or having a dog or whatever but doing for someone asides yourself. i don't apologize for all my transgressions but i try to send a couple bucks or whatever to people who did me a solid when i was down and out. it's in the same spirit but my dumb intuitive version. wrangle some younger skaters and build a DIY. keep busy, boredom is behind most drinking/drug abuse.

Thank you for the advice. This is probably my 5-6th time trying to quit so hopefully this or the next time will be the one. Luckily I do have a 1yr old dog who is my best friend and I’ve spent a lot of time laying with him, confessing everything. Talking about it helps, but again, not with a group of strangers. What’s going to be really hard is I know the dude is going to be hitting me up in the next hour or so saying it’s all good and to come over. So the rest of tonight is going to be really really hard. I try to get out and skate, but it’s a catch 22. I can’t skate when I feel like this. I have to use to feel normal just to get out of bed and take a shower. I’m going to shit my phone of for the rest of the night and hopefully I can make it till morning. But like I said, I’m going crazy right now. My legs are seriously going to run off of my body. I HATE the restless legs. I know it’s time to just man up and do what I have to do, but the physical cravings are just so fucking intense.

[Owen]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Ok, here we go. I’ve been partying/doing drugs since I was 14. By the time I was 18 I had tried just about everything. I stopped doing all the hard shit and just drank and smoked until I was 25. I went to Bonnaroo (2005/2006 I think) and out of necessity, I did coke so I could drink all day and night and not miss any of the bands I wanted to see. After that I would do it occasionally which of course turned into every time I drank (3-4 times a week). By 33 I had pretty much quit doing coke but still drank a lot. Due to some health problems I had to stop drinking. The last time I was drunk was 1/16/18....but from the age of 32 till 38, I was doing a lot of opiates. Usually story, stared with Vicodin’s, then Norcos, then percs. Once those stopped working I graduated to the real deal. While I’ve never shot up, it’s been a daily habit of snorting it. It’s been about a year and a half and I fucking hate it. I don’t get high anymore. All it does is keeps the withdrawals away. Every time I try to quit I make it about 36 hrs and I’m ready to kill myself from the withdrawals. I’m at 36 hrs right now. I got some Xanax and some tramadol to help with the restless legs, hot n cold sweats, and the overall pain that is everywhere. I’ve managed to keep it pretty hidden and although my friends suspect it, they don’t know for sure. I just got a gram of some coke so I could do a little and clean my apartment. Anything to take my mind off of how shitty I feel. I’m not going to treatment because then my parents will know and it will absolutely kill them. Any fellow slap members have advice? I know I could go to a dr and try and get suboxen or methadone, but I just want to be done with this. Like I said, I hate this. Everyday is the same thing, call the dealer, race to his house and back home so I can feel better. I’ve been to 2 meetings and it didn’t help at all. I didn’t like telling strangers in person that I’m a piece of shit. I figured I’d try here cause I know there’s other members like me. Like I said, any advice is greatly appreciated.

[close]

it gets easier every time you attempt quitting. most of us who've walked away will say it was easy the time it worked [but impossible every time we failed]. apparently the 7th time is the magic number though i'm sure that's not exact science. but basically if you've contemplated before, it'll be added towards this time. after 36 hours you should be just about out of teh woods i'd think at least that was usually my window. methadone took a lot longer.
i went onto subs last time and weaned offa them. bad news is i'll do a bunch of kratom nowadays, how you do one thing is how you do everything. but it's a lot cheaper so better in that regards. subs ain't bad, a tiny piece lasts a while but they've got a long afterlife.
i don't really fucks w/ groups or meetings or any of that, just get free of it and skate. any other hobbies you got, get back into em. you'll have all this free time now that you're not sick, jammed or in between.
i guess this is what i tell people and it's vaguely based offa one of the 12 steps, service of others. i got bees and so i take care of bees compulsively [7 hives after 3 yrs]. it could be volunteering somewhere or having a dog or whatever but doing for someone asides yourself. i don't apologize for all my transgressions but i try to send a couple bucks or whatever to people who did me a solid when i was down and out. it's in the same spirit but my dumb intuitive version. wrangle some younger skaters and build a DIY. keep busy, boredom is behind most drinking/drug abuse.

[close]

Thank you for the advice. This is probably my 5-6th time trying to quit so hopefully this or the next time will be the one. Luckily I do have a 1yr old dog who is my best friend and I’ve spent a lot of time laying with him, confessing everything. Talking about it helps, but again, not with a group of strangers. What’s going to be really hard is I know the dude is going to be hitting me up in the next hour or so saying it’s all good and to come over. So the rest of tonight is going to be really really hard. I try to get out and skate, but it’s a catch 22. I can’t skate when I feel like this. I have to use to feel normal just to get out of bed and take a shower. I’m going to shit my phone of for the rest of the night and hopefully I can make it till morning. But like I said, I’m going crazy right now. My legs are seriously going to run off of my body. I HATE the restless legs. I know it’s time to just man up and do what I have to do, but the physical cravings are just so fucking intense.

Does weed help with some of the physical side effects of withdrawl? I've never gone through either but a lot of the negative side effects sound similar to what people going through chemo experience and weed is supposed to be good for that right?

[Buck Bundy]

^^It does help a little for me but. Especially wax/dabs. But it’s not enough to get rid of all the damn aches, restless legs, and sweats.

[iKobrakai]

You will probably need to tell your folks about this and get a detox. Sorry to say it but it's very hard to kick a real habit.

Good luck, Buck.

[Buck Bundy]

Well I managed to not use tonight. Going to take something to help me sleep and if I can make it through tomorrow, that’ll be the longest I’ve gone in like a year. I want to beat this sooo bad!

[Dr Hfuhruhurr]

Stay strong!

Have you tried a super big dose of edibles?

Seriously it’s a more intense high than the most potent dab because your liver metabolizes it and intensifies the high.  There are actually programs in my state run by former users that help people kick opiates with the use of high dose edibles.  The liquid syrups seem to be the most effective.

Good luck!  YOU CAN DO THIS

[Buck Bundy]

Stay strong!

Have you tried a super big dose of edibles?

Seriously it’s a more intense high than the most potent dab because your liver metabolizes it and intensifies the high.  There are actually programs in my state run by former users that help people kick opiates with the use of high dose edibles.  The liquid syrups seem to be the most effective.

Good luck!  YOU CAN DO THIS

Edibles have never worked for me. Tried many times. I really appreciate all the advice and kind words. I AM GOING TO BEAT THIS!

[givecigstosurfgroms]

Magnesium citrate for restless leg.  I quit cold turkey just once and for all i know i might have almost died.  Those nights were strange.  Getting into surfing that month prolly saved my life too.  Its rad getting off heroin.  Heroin is a joke anyway.  Its a denial hole.

[Bagelskate]

Well I managed to not use tonight. Going to take something to help me sleep and if I can make it through tomorrow, that’ll be the longest I’ve gone in like a year. I want to beat this sooo bad!

You’ve got this! Keep up the good work!

Edit: also I don’t know you but to put in the work to kick this, I’m so proud of you!!!

[Buck Bundy]

Expand Quote

Well I managed to not use tonight. Going to take something to help me sleep and if I can make it through tomorrow, that’ll be the longest I’ve gone in like a year. I want to beat this sooo bad!

[close]

You’ve got this! Keep up the good work!

Edit: also I don’t know you but to put in the work to kick this, I’m so proud of you!!!

Thanks man! I really appreciate everyone’s advice/words. I don’t know any of you guys, but now that I feel like I have people that know about this, and support me, I can’t let y'all down. This is why I love slap. It’s 7am and although the goddamn restless legs haven’t stopped and I haven’t slept, I’m just past 48hrs. Granted I’ve been smoking and doing a little coke tonight, but I don’t really like coke anymore so it’s not like I want/will start using that again. As for weed, we’ll i don’t see any problem with that. If 1 night of coke helps me get through the last leg of this, I’m all for it. I just gotta make it through today!

[Bagelskate]

Tcob. Stay strong!

[Buck Bundy]

Sooo...a little update. My dad has been having chest pains and finally went to the Er last night. He has to go in for an angiogram tomorrow. I know that’s not that intense of a procedure, but he’s already had quadruple heart surgery. I don’t handle it well. I got 24 hrs to get my shit together so I can be there for him.

[iKobrakai]

Fucking hell, mate. Good luck to you and your old man.

[chris gentryfied]

you're almost there, just keep doing what you're doing. take benadryl tonight and sleep the pain away. you should be a new man tomorrow.
my buddy used immodium ad to ameliorate dopesick feelings but it gave him a heart attack. there's a nutty hasidic jew on yt giving advice on how to take copious amounts of it since it's poppy based and it helps w/ the shits.
you're good man, don't let anyone tell you ya can't do it on your own but if you feel like you can't, holler at someone. everyone is different.
in my experience, most of my old running partners died so the comradery of copping and all that was on the wane. i built resentment to my dealer and other junkies and that made it easier to not relapse when i'm bored.
i'm so petty, i was looking into visiting the Dominican Republic for sex tourism, i wanted to fuck them since they fucked me for a couple yrs. i be wil'in sometimes, haha.
i realize how silly that is but resentment is good because if you can hold a grudge, you can hold to your principles.
[edit] here's the hasidic guy encouraging you to abuse stuff you have around the house. idk if he's legit a junkbomb or he's trying to kill off goys w/ this advice. hope your dad is ok

[Dr Hfuhruhurr]

Buck Bundy:  I wish your father the best.  I hope it’s a speedy recovery. 

[Allen.]

I'm not a praying guy but I'm sending good vibes your way Buck. You've got this. Never quit anything as gnarly as heroin but I did quit smoking and a lot of the advice is applicable to all sorts of quitting.

You've got this. We're proud of you for getting as far as you have.

[doublesteveburger]

You’re in the home stretch now bud, don’t let a tough situation be a crutch to fall into old coping habits. You got this.

[Buck Bundy]

Thank you all again for the words and advice. Last night was brutal. Throwing up constantly, and the goddamn restless legs. Seriously what the fuck is with opiates and restless legs?? A little over 72hrs clean! Fuck Heroin. What a stupid fucking thing I did getting involved with this shit. I was definitely that guy that thought I was invincible and I could stop at anytime. A year and a half later and here I am. My pops is doing ok too. Things are on the up and up!

[iKobrakai]

Good to hear. Keep going.

[Dr Hfuhruhurr]

Thank you all again for the words and advice. Last night was brutal. Throwing up constantly, and the goddamn restless legs. Seriously what the fuck is with opiates and restless legs?? A little over 72hrs clean! Fuck Heroin. What a stupid fucking thing I did getting involved with this shit. I was definitely that guy that thought I was invincible and I could stop at anytime. A year and a half later and here I am. My pops is doing ok too. Things are on the up and up!

Fuck yeah homie!  Keep kicking ass!  Proud of you!

Much love!

[somethingmustbreaknow]

keep yo mothafuckin' head up!

[Mark Renton]

Keep going Buck! Keep us updated.
Choose life 

I also wonder how poorlatino is doing.

[cricketclub]

Expand Quote

My real confession is that today I wore not just one but two shoelace belts simultaneously, throughout the whole day without even noticing till time came to hit the shower. I was wearing baggy shit so I don't think anybody else noticed either, one is embarrassing enough.

[close]

i accidentally wore two different shoes ones and didn't notice until i got to class, 30 miles away from home. lots of people noticed and it was very embarrassing.

they weren't even similar shoes. one was a green bruin and the other was like a burgundy supra tom penny hightop.

One time I accidentally wore two different shoes my Junior Year. They were actually the same color but looked totally different and I think that actually made it worse. There was a freshman in my Spanish class who obviously thought it was cool because he wore two different shoes the very next day! I didn't make fun of him for it but I thought it was hilarious. Years later I saw him at the skatepark and said what's up. I didn't mention it but it's all I could think about.

[honey island]

how have the last 24 hours been buck? hang in there <3