Author Topic: real confessions  (Read 1567518 times)

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Freelancevagrant

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10080 on: April 07, 2021, 08:25:33 PM »
Been sober (mostly) for a year and a half now. I still think about getting drunk all the time. I've never been the kind of drunk that was super angry or exploded or anything, I was always an imploder, destroying myself and my life from the inside out. I used to walk dogs and one time one of the leashes broke and the dog ran into traffic and died. I hate to admit it, but it really fucked me up for a while. Things started getting worse after that and I started doing coke even though I really hate coke and it isn't fun for me. It was just getting offered to me all the time and I was down to do whatever to escape. Things started getting out of hand, and after a bad breakup I got fed up and just quit everything. Even smoking. Fuck I miss cigarettes lol.

Anyway, been feeling lately like maybe I want to do some mushrooms again this summer sometime. Does anyone have any experience with doing psychedelics while you're sober and not relapsing? Or is that just a risk I have to be willing to take?

Been sober for five years, few pieces of advice.

If you quit everything at once, you will set yourself up for disappointment.

First things first - donít minimize your trauma, anything and everything could be a catalyst for a behavior. That sucks you had to deal with losing a pup in front of you.

Also.... Smoke a cigarette and cut yourself some fucking slack.

With mushrooms specifically, start small. Just half a gram and ease your way into it and go up from there.

Smaller doses of psychedelics, microdosing to recreational levels actually help to fight addiction and reduce urges regardless of your habit.

For as long as Iíve been sober Iíve had dreams and fears and urges about drinking/relapsing. But, that shit is fleeting. Take stock in what youíve gained since you quit and became sober.

One last thing, and some of the most sage advice Iíve ever been given: ROME DIDNíT FALL IN A DAY... THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING CONQUERED.
Ricky was caught beating some dude of?!?

aliexpress

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10081 on: April 08, 2021, 07:06:02 AM »
Been sober for five years, few pieces of advice.

If you quit everything at once, you will set yourself up for disappointment.

First things first - donít minimize your trauma, anything and everything could be a catalyst for a behavior. That sucks you had to deal with losing a pup in front of you.

Also.... Smoke a cigarette and cut yourself some fucking slack.

With mushrooms specifically, start small. Just half a gram and ease your way into it and go up from there.

Smaller doses of psychedelics, microdosing to recreational levels actually help to fight addiction and reduce urges regardless of your habit.

For as long as Iíve been sober Iíve had dreams and fears and urges about drinking/relapsing. But, that shit is fleeting. Take stock in what youíve gained since you quit and became sober.

One last thing, and some of the most sage advice Iíve ever been given: ROME DIDNíT FALL IN A DAY... THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING CONQUERED.

Thanks man. Good advice.

I guess my problem is that I link mushrooms to partying because I always used to be drinking when I did them. So I guess I'm worried that I'll start doing mushrooms again and it'll gateway me into drinking. But I've heard good things about microdosing so I might give it a try when it gets nicer out and I can just get lost in the forest all day

Anyone have experience with ADHD & shrooms? Pros and cons? Haven't been diagnosed yet but all signs have pointed to yes since I was a kid.

Freelancevagrant

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10082 on: April 08, 2021, 07:22:41 AM »
Expand Quote
Been sober for five years, few pieces of advice.

If you quit everything at once, you will set yourself up for disappointment.

First things first - donít minimize your trauma, anything and everything could be a catalyst for a behavior. That sucks you had to deal with losing a pup in front of you.

Also.... Smoke a cigarette and cut yourself some fucking slack.

With mushrooms specifically, start small. Just half a gram and ease your way into it and go up from there.

Smaller doses of psychedelics, microdosing to recreational levels actually help to fight addiction and reduce urges regardless of your habit.

For as long as Iíve been sober Iíve had dreams and fears and urges about drinking/relapsing. But, that shit is fleeting. Take stock in what youíve gained since you quit and became sober.

One last thing, and some of the most sage advice Iíve ever been given: ROME DIDNíT FALL IN A DAY... THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING CONQUERED.
[close]

Thanks man. Good advice.

I guess my problem is that I link mushrooms to partying because I always used to be drinking when I did them. So I guess I'm worried that I'll start doing mushrooms again and it'll gateway me into drinking. But I've heard good things about microdosing so I might give it a try when it gets nicer out and I can just get lost in the forest all day

Anyone have experience with ADHD & shrooms? Pros and cons? Haven't been diagnosed yet but all signs have pointed to yes since I was a kid.

Happy to help dude. I understand the fear, but you gotta remember youíre doing it for different reasons now. Youíre doing it for self improvement and not to go to another dimension.

Also I have pretty severe ADHD, and take meds for em daily. I have heard realllllly promising things about microdosing for it, but I canít vouch from experience. But in all honesty itís worth trying for a month or so and monitor how it affects your day to day life.
Ricky was caught beating some dude of?!?

IusedToSkateMore

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10083 on: April 08, 2021, 07:58:33 PM »
Been sober (mostly) for a year and a half now. I still think about getting drunk all the time. I've never been the kind of drunk that was super angry or exploded or anything, I was always an imploder, destroying myself and my life from the inside out. I used to walk dogs and one time one of the leashes broke and the dog ran into traffic and died. I hate to admit it, but it really fucked me up for a while. Things started getting worse after that and I started doing coke even though I really hate coke and it isn't fun for me. It was just getting offered to me all the time and I was down to do whatever to escape. Things started getting out of hand, and after a bad breakup I got fed up and just quit everything. Even smoking. Fuck I miss cigarettes lol.

Anyway, been feeling lately like maybe I want to do some mushrooms again this summer sometime. Does anyone have any experience with doing psychedelics while you're sober and not relapsing? Or is that just a risk I have to be willing to take?

heyo. been sober off alcohol going on 6 years. I stopped drinking because I figured it would help quell a rising storm of poly substance misuse. It didn't for the first couple years anyways,  but in the long run it's probably the reason I'm alive, not using narcotics, have stayed out of trouble, and am healthy. I will forever credit an early on DMT experience with helping me stay off the sauce at a critical juncture.

Now, I use the herb and psychedelics. While I have partied with psychedelics I see them as a tool, or rather a place from which to reset the mind, patterns, and behaviors. For me, a big old trip will trounce any desire to take drugs, perhaps because it leads to a sense of fulfillment that drugs don't. Maybe because it helps remind me why I don't take drugs, that life is my beautiful experience to unfold within.

I used to ALWAYS drink beer while eating shrooms. I mean I drank beer whenever, but beer and boomers went hand in hand. post booze tripping required a paradigm shift in that I needed to prepare differently and let those I was going to be with know what I needed. It's helpful to be with those who respect you and understand what you're trying to do. If they don't or can't, they're not worth kicking it with.

About that paradigm shift- what are you trying to do with the boomers? Are you trying to reset? reach a spiritual plane? Get out of the rat race for a few hours and bug out? I think it's important to set an intention about what you're looking for and trying to do. Such intentionality may help you stay sober.

you don't have to gobble down a whole 8th either, man. I mean you can and will be fine, but half an 8th is cool to start with and a redose can be nice a few hours in if needed. That took me years to learn!!!

you ask about microdosing and I can speak a bit as I began that journey a few months back. First, I will say that I am enjoying and benefiting from it. My focus is increased, especially on microdose days- There will be periods on those days with a level of resounding clarity, a meditative state of awareness while also engaged in multiple tasks. Jokingly but no so jokingly it's like drinking some nectar of the gods coffee at times. It's pretty sweet. Not high, not trippy, just more fun and interesting. On off days, I feel fine, perhaps in a better mood but can't quantify it in any way. I have a fairly heightened sense of smell but since I began microdosing, it's amplified. Artificial or "poison" smells and tastes are awful. Perfume, cigarettes, too much sugar, etc are a no go.

Also, if you're going to microdose, try to do it properly. Weight your mushrooms, grind them up and capsule them. It's nice to have a consistent dose as it leaves out room for doubting efficacy.
stay high, lay low

smellsdead

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10084 on: April 09, 2021, 11:37:51 AM »
i used a GZA lyric on my SATs

BieberStance

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10085 on: April 09, 2021, 11:53:14 AM »
Can someone that experienced it explain to me how it happened to them that they spiraled into a cocaine addiction from starting out taking it recreationally with friends/ while partying?
I am genuinely wondering about coke in particular. Where i used to live coke was always around and a part of the nightlife. And i was into it for a bit in that setting. Even so much that it became kind of regular when going out. But it always fucked me up so much physically and emotionally and hangoverwise that i had no desire or wasnít able to imagine taking it more than that (or the day after) until the next werkend or so.
It didnít make sense for me from its effects to incorporate it in my daily (working) life at all. Amphetamines were a complete different story for me. Maximum effect to be efficient with less to none shortterm sideffects. Had to be careful a few times to not fall into a routine.
Now i am away from drugs for a long time. But still wondering when i hear stories like the one above. Or do you consider consuming uppers in general as doing coke in the states? Maybe the coke there is way better so its more āconvincingĎ?
Genuinely curious.

aliexpress

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10086 on: April 09, 2021, 04:37:53 PM »
Expand Quote
Been sober (mostly) for a year and a half now. I still think about getting drunk all the time. I've never been the kind of drunk that was super angry or exploded or anything, I was always an imploder, destroying myself and my life from the inside out. I used to walk dogs and one time one of the leashes broke and the dog ran into traffic and died. I hate to admit it, but it really fucked me up for a while. Things started getting worse after that and I started doing coke even though I really hate coke and it isn't fun for me. It was just getting offered to me all the time and I was down to do whatever to escape. Things started getting out of hand, and after a bad breakup I got fed up and just quit everything. Even smoking. Fuck I miss cigarettes lol.

Anyway, been feeling lately like maybe I want to do some mushrooms again this summer sometime. Does anyone have any experience with doing psychedelics while you're sober and not relapsing? Or is that just a risk I have to be willing to take?
[close]

heyo. been sober off alcohol going on 6 years. I stopped drinking because I figured it would help quell a rising storm of poly substance misuse. It didn't for the first couple years anyways,  but in the long run it's probably the reason I'm alive, not using narcotics, have stayed out of trouble, and am healthy. I will forever credit an early on DMT experience with helping me stay off the sauce at a critical juncture.

Now, I use the herb and psychedelics. While I have partied with psychedelics I see them as a tool, or rather a place from which to reset the mind, patterns, and behaviors. For me, a big old trip will trounce any desire to take drugs, perhaps because it leads to a sense of fulfillment that drugs don't. Maybe because it helps remind me why I don't take drugs, that life is my beautiful experience to unfold within.

I used to ALWAYS drink beer while eating shrooms. I mean I drank beer whenever, but beer and boomers went hand in hand. post booze tripping required a paradigm shift in that I needed to prepare differently and let those I was going to be with know what I needed. It's helpful to be with those who respect you and understand what you're trying to do. If they don't or can't, they're not worth kicking it with.

About that paradigm shift- what are you trying to do with the boomers? Are you trying to reset? reach a spiritual plane? Get out of the rat race for a few hours and bug out? I think it's important to set an intention about what you're looking for and trying to do. Such intentionality may help you stay sober.

you don't have to gobble down a whole 8th either, man. I mean you can and will be fine, but half an 8th is cool to start with and a redose can be nice a few hours in if needed. That took me years to learn!!!

you ask about microdosing and I can speak a bit as I began that journey a few months back. First, I will say that I am enjoying and benefiting from it. My focus is increased, especially on microdose days- There will be periods on those days with a level of resounding clarity, a meditative state of awareness while also engaged in multiple tasks. Jokingly but no so jokingly it's like drinking some nectar of the gods coffee at times. It's pretty sweet. Not high, not trippy, just more fun and interesting. On off days, I feel fine, perhaps in a better mood but can't quantify it in any way. I have a fairly heightened sense of smell but since I began microdosing, it's amplified. Artificial or "poison" smells and tastes are awful. Perfume, cigarettes, too much sugar, etc are a no go.

Also, if you're going to microdose, try to do it properly. Weight your mushrooms, grind them up and capsule them. It's nice to have a consistent dose as it leaves out room for doubting efficacy.

Attention setting is a good note. So is the measuring out the shrooms part. Thanks for the advice dude.

El Fapinator

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10087 on: April 13, 2021, 06:25:11 AM »
I don't think I'm in love with my partner anymore, I don't want to call it quits but it seems like she's growing apart from me and I wouldn't mind the time apart to reconvene and collect myself.

I admit and am jealous of you single dude's out there. Marriage or in a thick as thieves relationship can be a drag.
Dueces Bitch's

matty_c

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10088 on: April 14, 2021, 10:53:00 PM »
I don't think I'm in love with my partner anymore, I don't want to call it quits but it seems like she's growing apart from me and I wouldn't mind the time apart to reconvene and collect myself.

I admit and am jealous of you single dude's out there. Marriage or in a thick as thieves relationship can be a drag.

Man donít just go and do this because I am still dealing with my shit five years later and still unsure if I made the right decision but yeah I focused an otherwise good relationship cause her family owed me over 20k
One way to look at it is thatís all she was worth
Other way to see it is that it just tuned me bitter and fucked my head up. You gotta do you brother

Anyway I went back to peppers last night to see mates and no fucking shit my Columbian queen was at Woolworths I mean the one I burped on ages ago from my same floor I used to live in and it was just like I had nothing to lose so I didnít bitch it and go quiet and we had mad chats outside and in lift

No fucking shit she looks like Adria rae but with accent and she loves my dog itís about time I had a win cunt
Weíre gonna hang out soon I need this
listen to cosmic psychos

fulltechnicalskizzy

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10089 on: April 15, 2021, 07:06:03 AM »
I was drunk talking skating and kept calling Dylan Rieder Dylan Gravis and couldnít remember his real name for the life of me

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10090 on: April 15, 2021, 11:31:47 AM »
Expand Quote
I don't think I'm in love with my partner anymore, I don't want to call it quits but it seems like she's growing apart from me and I wouldn't mind the time apart to reconvene and collect myself.

I admit and am jealous of you single dude's out there. Marriage or in a thick as thieves relationship can be a drag.
[close]

Man donít just go and do this because I am still dealing with my shit five years later and still unsure if I made the right decision but yeah I focused an otherwise good relationship cause her family owed me over 20k
One way to look at it is thatís all she was worth
Other way to see it is that it just tuned me bitter and fucked my head up. You gotta do you brother

Anyway I went back to peppers last night to see mates and no fucking shit my Columbian queen was at Woolworths I mean the one I burped on ages ago from my same floor I used to live in and it was just like I had nothing to lose so I didnít bitch it and go quiet and we had mad chats outside and in lift

No fucking shit she looks like Adria rae but with accent and she loves my dog itís about time I had a win cunt
Weíre gonna hang out soon I need this

Soooo did you get her deets or what?
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Dr-Feelgood

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10091 on: April 17, 2021, 06:25:40 PM »
Expand Quote
I don't think I'm in love with my partner anymore, I don't want to call it quits but it seems like she's growing apart from me and I wouldn't mind the time apart to reconvene and collect myself.

I admit and am jealous of you single dude's out there. Marriage or in a thick as thieves relationship can be a drag.
[close]

Man donít just go and do this because I am still dealing with my shit five years later and still unsure if I made the right decision but yeah I focused an otherwise good relationship cause her family owed me over 20k
One way to look at it is thatís all she was worth
Other way to see it is that it just tuned me bitter and fucked my head up. You gotta do you brother

Anyway I went back to peppers last night to see mates and no fucking shit my Columbian queen was at Woolworths I mean the one I burped on ages ago from my same floor I used to live in and it was just like I had nothing to lose so I didnít bitch it and go quiet and we had mad chats outside and in lift

No fucking shit she looks like Adria rae but with accent and she loves my dog itís about time I had a win cunt
Weíre gonna hang out soon I need this

fuckin get it matty, hold the burps maaaate


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Wait we know what it is now too -
Falling down and gettin back up

Everett

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10092 on: April 17, 2021, 07:52:17 PM »
Lately, everything seems very bland. I got some energy to skate the other day with some of the loval shop boys, did a trick that felt great but when i saw it i was really sad at how it looked.

On another (but similar) note, I have adhd and though im 26, I still dont know what I want in life. I recently got accepted into a well-paying union, but Ive never been good at working construction, to the point that everybody ive ever worked with thinks that im dumb, which im not. I feel like i have self image issues, and donít know where to begin. Even now I see my adhd in that Iíve started talking about many things in this post, but never finished any of them in their entirety.  Ive got many tickets, mo health insurance, arthritic hands in my young age, a drug problem, a nasty cigarette habit, and everything just seems insurmountable.

/vent

matty_c

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10093 on: April 17, 2021, 08:44:04 PM »
Ahh we were gonna do something this weekend but I been busy but yeah been texting all g
Iím not drinking with her though haha Iím gonna keep it chill
Cheers boys
listen to cosmic psychos

SneakySecrets

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10094 on: April 19, 2021, 09:13:10 AM »
I leave old keys that I donít need anymore on my keychain just so it looks to the outside observer like I have a lot of shit locked up somewhere.

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10095 on: April 19, 2021, 02:46:07 PM »
I leave old keys that I donít need anymore on my keychain just so it looks to the outside observer like I have a lot of shit locked up somewhere.
hahaha same!
One of them is the key to my parents place back in Aus and even though theyíve sold it and since moved along, itís a way to still be connected to that place

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GardenSkater77

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10096 on: April 19, 2021, 03:45:58 PM »

johnes

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10097 on: April 22, 2021, 07:42:09 AM »
I think I want to get divorced and I hate myself for thinking that.
Iím a fat Siamese cat.

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10098 on: April 22, 2021, 10:58:53 AM »
I think I want to get divorced and I hate myself for thinking that.

Iím so sorry to hear that. Marriage is very important to me but it takes a lot of commitment. Iíve been married going on 18 years this June and I have two wonderful children. I happen to love and like my wife. If you love your wife (which clearly you do) then ask yourself what you donít like about her. Can the dynamic be changed? You get the idea. Donít be so hard on yourself or her. Sheís your partner. She may be feeling the same way. If I didnít respect your nose pick game I wouldnít say anything. Best of luck...

Freelancevagrant

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10099 on: April 22, 2021, 11:04:05 AM »
One of my single greatest joys in life is letting my dog in after letting him run outside to go the bathroom. He will go to his water bowl and his tail will slowly wag back and forth while he drinks and it literally means the fucking world to me.
« Last Edit: April 23, 2021, 04:35:28 AM by Freelancevagrant »
Ricky was caught beating some dude of?!?

Sila

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10100 on: April 30, 2021, 07:09:33 PM »
My friend's grandfather may pass away soon and I know she wants to lean on me for support but i'm not really in a place of emotional stability to be that person at the moment. She has a lot of close friends but always seems to seek me out for support and I find it to be a bit suffocating/overwhelming.

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10101 on: April 30, 2021, 08:40:14 PM »
My friend's grandfather may pass away soon and I know she wants to lean on me for support but i'm not really in a place of emotional stability to be that person at the moment. She has a lot of close friends but always seems to seek me out for support and I find it to be a bit suffocating/overwhelming.

That's a rough spot for you in some ways but good on you for holding a boundary. This dude im kind of friends with, but more of a like minded business associate i've worked with 2 or 3 times a year over the past 6 years, hit me up on Xmas while I was eating with my lady. I ignored the call and he texts me "bro my dad just died." I told him I couldn't talk at the moment but could call him later. I did call the next day but he didn't answer and i haven't heard from him since after reaching out a few times. Its a drag because he is a cool and reliable guy most of the time, but I couldn't support someone at that time
stay high, lay low

lazer69

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10102 on: April 30, 2021, 10:36:39 PM »
I need to give on living in LA. Go back to real life

matty_c

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10103 on: April 30, 2021, 11:48:51 PM »
You gotta set boundaries everyone wants to help for sure but itís like on a plane you gotta get your mask on first ay
I reckon everyone struggles with stuff

@Sila @pr1nce @AssMountain you lads on the goldy or what?
Iím in surfers for the next three months for work, Iíd be keen to get on the bag with someone or even just go skating
listen to cosmic psychos

Dr-Feelgood

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10104 on: May 01, 2021, 08:48:40 PM »
One of my single greatest joys in life is letting my dog in after letting him run outside to go the bathroom. He will go to his water bowl and his tail will slowly wag back and forth while he drinks and it literally means the fucking world to me.

one of the best things about a dog/pet, the wholesome innocent joy they bring from doing the simple things


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But we sure as hell know what it aint
Wait we know what it is now too -
Falling down and gettin back up

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10105 on: May 02, 2021, 03:20:17 PM »
Iím a joke of a human being, everyone around me uses me for whatever they can get and itís my fault for allowing them in my circle.
Dueces Bitch's

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10106 on: May 03, 2021, 06:47:05 AM »
Iím a joke of a human being, everyone around me uses me for whatever they can get and itís my fault for allowing them in my circle.

Damn pal, sounds like you're down bad. We all feel stuck some times. I hope you can have a look at the people you know and maybe make a conscious effort to spend less time/energy on certain people and maybe reach out to other people whose company you enjoy and try and make some shifts in who you spend your time with. It's not always easy, especially as you get older, but trust me, it's part of life and you will thank yourself for it.

Might be a time to reach out to someone who you aren't particularly close with, but whose company you always enjoyed. They might reciprocate it and be happy to shake up their own routine.
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El Fapinator

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10107 on: May 03, 2021, 08:24:59 AM »
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Iím a joke of a human being, everyone around me uses me for whatever they can get and itís my fault for allowing them in my circle.
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Word thanks for your insight, I was having a bad night sometimes I just have to verbalize my feeling's.

Damn pal, sounds like you're down bad. We all feel stuck some times. I hope you can have a look at the people you know and maybe make a conscious effort to spend less time/energy on certain people and maybe reach out to other people whose company you enjoy and try and make some shifts in who you spend your time with. It's not always easy, especially as you get older, but trust me, it's part of life and you will thank yourself for it.

Might be a time to reach out to someone who you aren't particularly close with, but whose company you always enjoyed. They might reciprocate it and be happy to shake up their own routine.
Dueces Bitch's

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10108 on: May 07, 2021, 06:28:37 PM »
Doctors recently told my old man he's had a massive heart attack within the last couple of years and will be hospitalized in 2 days. I harboured a lot of anger towards him and rarely got along, argued, even put my fists up (he's not a bad man).  Im now 31 and have been caring for him full time for the past couple years.  We really cleared the air and hugged shit out after the recent news and I'm so glad we got to have the moment.

I tried to overdose on 20x panadeine forte pills once. Binge drinking and pingers every weekend for years with only a handful of breaks nearly killed me for sure.  I'm not full sober but I only smoke weed now and drink once in a blue moon at a bday or gig.  A really intense Mushroom trip helped me stop the nonsense