real confessions

[DarthDingusMaximus]

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I’m a joke of a human being, everyone around me uses me for whatever they can get and it’s my fault for allowing them in my circle.

[close]

Word thanks for your insight, I was having a bad night sometimes I just have to verbalize my feeling's.

Damn pal, sounds like you're down bad. We all feel stuck some times. I hope you can have a look at the people you know and maybe make a conscious effort to spend less time/energy on certain people and maybe reach out to other people whose company you enjoy and try and make some shifts in who you spend your time with. It's not always easy, especially as you get older, but trust me, it's part of life and you will thank yourself for it.

Might be a time to reach out to someone who you aren't particularly close with, but whose company you always enjoyed. They might reciprocate it and be happy to shake up their own routine.

[Sifter]

Doctors recently told my old man he's had a massive heart attack within the last couple of years and will be hospitalized in 2 days. I harboured a lot of anger towards him and rarely got along, argued, even put my fists up (he's not a bad man).  Im now 31 and have been caring for him full time for the past couple years.  We really cleared the air and hugged shit out after the recent news and I'm so glad we got to have the moment.

I tried to overdose on 20x panadeine forte pills once. Binge drinking and pingers every weekend for years with only a handful of breaks nearly killed me for sure.  I'm not full sober but I only smoke weed now and drink once in a blue moon at a bday or gig.  A really intense Mushroom trip helped me stop the nonsense

[rocklobster]

Was interviewing for a new job and made it to the offer stage at a company I was really looking to work for. Good team, challenging work environment, grow sector in the IT industry. Got the offer letter and the pay package was a sizable decrease from my current check, essentially a 20% decrease. It is a sales job with a variable component, so while I understand the dip package, I didn't expect the drop to be as drastic. I replied the email with a counter offer to put me closer to my current package but we will see how that goes. Worst case it's back to spamming out resumes on Linkedin.

[GardenSkater77]

Was interviewing for a new job and made it to the offer stage at a company I was really looking to work for. Good team, challenging work environment, grow sector in the IT industry. Got the offer letter and the pay package was a sizable decrease from my current check, essentially a 20% decrease. It is a sales job with a variable component, so while I understand the dip package, I didn't expect the drop to be as drastic. I replied the email with a counter offer to put me closer to my current package but we will see how that goes. Worst case it's back to spamming out resumes on Linkedin.

I’ve been in sales 20 years in many different industries. If you want to explain more about what you are being offered I can probably tell you the pitfalls of the offer.

Also, do you know why the position is open? Most important question in a sales interview. Let me know and I can give you my seasoned opinion.

[rocklobster]

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Was interviewing for a new job and made it to the offer stage at a company I was really looking to work for. Good team, challenging work environment, grow sector in the IT industry. Got the offer letter and the pay package was a sizable decrease from my current check, essentially a 20% decrease. It is a sales job with a variable component, so while I understand the dip package, I didn't expect the drop to be as drastic. I replied the email with a counter offer to put me closer to my current package but we will see how that goes. Worst case it's back to spamming out resumes on Linkedin.

[close]

I’ve been in sales 20 years in many different industries. If you want to explain more about what you are being offered I can probably tell you the pitfalls of the offer.

Also, do you know why the position is open? Most important question in a sales interview. Let me know and I can give you my seasoned opinion.

I wanted to come back to this and say I landed the job with a pay package very close to my expectations. Big thanks to @GardenSkater77 for sharing his wisdom and experience.

Shalom.

[SneakySecrets]

I’ve always been too intimidated by chess to ever seriously learn how to play it.  I know what some of the pieces do (ex. the horseys move in L’s) but the cost/reward of the mental exhaustion required to go from chess moron to actually beating someone just doesn’t seem worth it.

[johnes]

I’ve always been too intimidated by chess to ever seriously learn how to play it.  I know what some of the pieces do (ex. the horseys move in L’s) but the cost/reward of the mental exhaustion required to go from chess moron to actually beating someone just doesn’t seem worth it.

You could download a chess app and play on an easy setting to learn. I personally have never found chess to be mentally exhausting.
I used to go play with my cousin, bring some beer and just hang out and play a few games. It’s probably beneficial for your brain to learn new things like playing chess.
Unless maybe you feel like losing would make you feel bad mentally?
I recently learned to play sudoku, but I still play on easy mode, I’ve done medium a couple times but it’s still fun and challenging on easy.

[straight]

I’ve always been too intimidated by chess to ever seriously learn how to play it.  I know what some of the pieces do (ex. the horseys move in L’s) but the cost/reward of the mental exhaustion required to go from chess moron to actually beating someone just doesn’t seem worth it.

get the chess.com app and play speed chess .. you’ll pick it up very quickly and learn how quick checkmate moves by having other people do it to you .. then, after the game you can fill the board and view it from their side and follow their moves from start to finish .. it’s pretty fun to checkmate people quickly

[JB]

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I’ve always been too intimidated by chess to ever seriously learn how to play it.  I know what some of the pieces do (ex. the horseys move in L’s) but the cost/reward of the mental exhaustion required to go from chess moron to actually beating someone just doesn’t seem worth it.

[close]

get the chess.com app and play speed chess .. you’ll pick it up very quickly and learn how quick checkmate moves by having other people do it to you .. then, after the game you can fill the board and view it from their side and follow their moves from start to finish .. it’s pretty fun to checkmate people quickly

I tried learning. I know the moves, but I don't have the patience to learn how to be good at it.

Learning chess just taught me that I like games like uno and monopoly more. Bonehead games like that.

[blurst_of_times]

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I’ve always been too intimidated by chess to ever seriously learn how to play it.  I know what some of the pieces do (ex. the horseys move in L’s) but the cost/reward of the mental exhaustion required to go from chess moron to actually beating someone just doesn’t seem worth it.

[close]

get the chess.com app and play speed chess .. you’ll pick it up very quickly and learn how quick checkmate moves by having other people do it to you .. then, after the game you can fill the board and view it from their side and follow their moves from start to finish .. it’s pretty fun to checkmate people quickly

[close]

I tried learning. I know the moves, but I don't have the patience to learn how to be good at it.

Learning chess just taught me that I like games like uno and monopoly more. Bonehead games like that.

Uno is the shit

[Frank]

i love the new blair ep and i always have to cry when the part with these lyrics in by the c come on because they hit me very hard somehow:


I roll the dice for every choice
Roll with me, walk with me, everything's hard for me
I bite my tongue I hate my voice
hard to speak, hard to breath, when I bleed constantly
gotta call my mom hope shes good
hi mommy, I'm sorry, I'd like to speak eventually
take a step back could have been me who died last week

especially the last line when the whole part escalates in in "aaaaahhhhhhhs" on "whooooooooos" from everyone in the back. i don't know what it is, but it's crushing me down everytime. i miss my bros and friends from way back and i hope my mom is ok because i haven't been able to reach her for a week

[DaleSr]

i love the new blair ep and i always have to cry when the part with these lyrics in by the c come on because they hit me very hard somehow:


I roll the dice for every choice
Roll with me, walk with me, everything's hard for me
I bite my tongue I hate my voice
hard to speak, hard to breath, when I bleed constantly
gotta call my mom hope shes good
hi mommy, I'm sorry, I'd like to speak eventually
take a step back could have been me who died last week

especially the last line when the whole part escalates in in "aaaaahhhhhhhs" on "whooooooooos" from everyone in the back. i don't know what it is, but it's crushing me down everytime. i miss my bros and friends from way back and i hope my mom is ok because i haven't been able to reach her for a week

Dude that sucks, is she normally hard to get a hold of?

[Frank]

Expand Quote

i love the new blair ep and i always have to cry when the part with these lyrics in by the c come on because they hit me very hard somehow:


I roll the dice for every choice
Roll with me, walk with me, everything's hard for me
I bite my tongue I hate my voice
hard to speak, hard to breath, when I bleed constantly
gotta call my mom hope shes good
hi mommy, I'm sorry, I'd like to speak eventually
take a step back could have been me who died last week

especially the last line when the whole part escalates in in "aaaaahhhhhhhs" on "whooooooooos" from everyone in the back. i don't know what it is, but it's crushing me down everytime. i miss my bros and friends from way back and i hope my mom is ok because i haven't been able to reach her for a week

[close]

Dude that sucks, is she normally hard to get a hold of?

yeah man, i've talked to her since, but sometimes it takes a week or so. my parents are both old as hell. they haven't kept up with the times and have serious trouble operating smartphones. my mom literally gets freaked out by hers and then just keeps it in a corner. we managed to do a whats app video call once but that required a few regular calls beforehand to set it up. i know there is nothing to setup basically but what i mean i had to tell them what symbols to push and which buttons to drag and stuff.

[Grind King Rims]

Sucks relapsing. Self conviction so strong. Feel so muddy, more than Bam

Just gotta start again pal. Sometimes in happens. Day by day, you'll get back up again.

[DaleSr]

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Expand Quote

i love the new blair ep and i always have to cry when the part with these lyrics in by the c come on because they hit me very hard somehow:


I roll the dice for every choice
Roll with me, walk with me, everything's hard for me
I bite my tongue I hate my voice
hard to speak, hard to breath, when I bleed constantly
gotta call my mom hope shes good
hi mommy, I'm sorry, I'd like to speak eventually
take a step back could have been me who died last week

especially the last line when the whole part escalates in in "aaaaahhhhhhhs" on "whooooooooos" from everyone in the back. i don't know what it is, but it's crushing me down everytime. i miss my bros and friends from way back and i hope my mom is ok because i haven't been able to reach her for a week

[close]

Dude that sucks, is she normally hard to get a hold of?

[close]

yeah man, i've talked to her since, but sometimes it takes a week or so. my parents are both old as hell. they haven't kept up with the times and have serious trouble operating smartphones. my mom literally gets freaked out by hers and then just keeps it in a corner. we managed to do a whats app video call once but that required a few regular calls beforehand to set it up. i know there is nothing to setup basically but what i mean i had to tell them what symbols to push and which buttons to drag and stuff.

Well I'm glad you got a hold of her and confirmed she's ok.

Sucks relapsing. Self conviction so strong. Feel so muddy, more than Bam

As long as you get back up and keep going forward. Don't let the shame keep you away from recovery

[charge]

I lurk from time to time and spent a few good hours lurking today. Surprised at how wholesome this placed turned out to be. Good on you all.

[Buck Bundy]

I never subscribed to religen I didn’tthe afterlife. So I don’t know what’s wiring for my. I have a Brittney I don’t s👖💼💼💼💼💼💼👜👜👜🪖👜 could back on time I woukdntndribbebtbn “you weenectasto c street reliefs, family, and coolsfootls🩲. One opened up in town and I should prep another g out🩱

[hartt3]

I never subscribed to religen I didn’tthe afterlife. So I don’t know what’s wiring for my. I have a Brittney I don’t s👖💼💼💼💼💼💼👜👜👜🪖👜 could back on time I woukdntndribbebtbn “you weenectasto c street reliefs, family, and coolsfootls🩲. One opened up in town and I should prep another g out🩱

hell yeah bro

[iKobrakai]

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Sucks relapsing. Self conviction so strong. Feel so muddy, more than Bam

[close]

Just gotta start again pal. Sometimes in happens. Day by day, you'll get back up again.

Indeed, get back at it, soldier.

[behavioralguide]

I never subscribed to religen I didn’tthe afterlife. So I don’t know what’s wiring for my. I have a Brittney I don’t s👖💼💼💼💼💼💼👜👜👜🪖👜 could back on time I woukdntndribbebtbn “you weenectasto c street reliefs, family, and coolsfootls🩲. One opened up in town and I should prep another g out🩱

u having a stroke @Buck Bundy , everything allright?

[Powdered Toast Man!]

im 32 and my sex drive's been dwindling for the past 2 years. i kinda miss feeling horny but at the same time im not really attracted to the ladies anymore, even if it's just talking to them or being a pig and checking them out. not even watching porn or the thought of one night stand or strip clubs.
it's not a deep seated grudge or remorse for women, either. not at all.
i rarely 'bate. when i do it's outta boredom and i don't even bother finishing.
sometimes it worries me because i'm supposed to be at my "peak" being recently divorced, youngish, economically stable, no kids, independent, i don't do drugs (except drinking here and there), i'm physically active and healthy, etc. but nah.
and no it's not ED what i got, my libido just ain't there.
that's my confession.

[Grind King Rims]

im 32 and my sex drive's been dwindling for the past 2 years. i kinda miss feeling horny but at the same time im not really attracted to the ladies anymore, even if it's just talking to them or being a pig and checking them out. not even watching porn or the thought of one night stand or strip clubs.
it's not a deep seated grudge or remorse for women, either. not at all.
i rarely 'bate. when i do it's outta boredom and i don't even bother finishing.
sometimes it worries me because i'm supposed to be at my "peak" being recently divorced, youngish, economically stable, no kids, independent, i don't do drugs (except drinking here and there), i'm physically active and healthy, etc. but nah.
and no it's not ED what i got, my libido just ain't there.
that's my confession.

If you're eating right, sleeping right and physically active like you say, maybe get your testosterone checked.

[Frank]

im 32 and my sex drive's been dwindling for the past 2 years. i kinda miss feeling horny but at the same time im not really attracted to the ladies anymore, even if it's just talking to them or being a pig and checking them out. not even watching porn or the thought of one night stand or strip clubs.
it's not a deep seated grudge or remorse for women, either. not at all.
i rarely 'bate. when i do it's outta boredom and i don't even bother finishing.
sometimes it worries me because i'm supposed to be at my "peak" being recently divorced, youngish, economically stable, no kids, independent, i don't do drugs (except drinking here and there), i'm physically active and healthy, etc. but nah.
and no it's not ED what i got, my libido just ain't there.
that's my confession.

i feel you on this. i have pretty much no sex drive whatsoever. although i had sex in relationships and it worked somewhat, since it's easier when i have strong feelings for a person. but even that hasn't really been the case since a few years. it's like i can't really fall in love or something or have no desire anymore. me being disinterested in sex makes it of course even worse.

i say fuck what society expects from you. with me everyone is always asking me why i don't date and stuff and i always avoid the question because they don't see how i can be content alone. i had good relationships, probably good sex along the line, too, but i kind of don't miss being in one.

if you feel good about yourself without libido, i don't see anything wrong with living a more or less asexual lifestyle. but if you are missing it actually and can't get the feeling back, then what taildevil said.

and while we're at it, even though this not awkward sex experiences thread, i confess i tried my self at some sex stuff lately again and this time with a man and although he was very gentle, more so than a woman, there was no way the hand job he tried to give me would work out. good cuddler though, might see and cuddle again maybe. but yeah, i don't care for handies, sorry.

[pugmaster]

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im 32 and my sex drive's been dwindling for the past 2 years. i kinda miss feeling horny but at the same time im not really attracted to the ladies anymore, even if it's just talking to them or being a pig and checking them out. not even watching porn or the thought of one night stand or strip clubs.
it's not a deep seated grudge or remorse for women, either. not at all.
i rarely 'bate. when i do it's outta boredom and i don't even bother finishing.
sometimes it worries me because i'm supposed to be at my "peak" being recently divorced, youngish, economically stable, no kids, independent, i don't do drugs (except drinking here and there), i'm physically active and healthy, etc. but nah.
and no it's not ED what i got, my libido just ain't there.
that's my confession.

[close]

i feel you on this. i have pretty much no sex drive whatsoever. although i had sex in relationships and it worked somewhat, since it's easier when i have strong feelings for a person. but even that hasn't really been the case since a few years. it's like i can't really fall in love or something or have no desire anymore. me being disinterested in sex makes it of course even worse.

i say fuck what society expects from you. with me everyone is always asking me why i don't date and stuff and i always avoid the question because they don't see how i can be content alone. i had good relationships, probably good sex along the line, too, but i kind of don't miss being in one.

if you feel good about yourself without libido, i don't see anything wrong with living a more or less asexual lifestyle. but if you are missing it actually and can't get the feeling back, then what taildevil said.

and while we're at it, even though this not awkward sex experiences thread, i confess i tried my self at some sex stuff lately again and this time with a man and although he was very gentle, more so than a woman, there was no way the hand job he tried to give me would work out. good cuddler though, might see and cuddle again maybe. but yeah, i don't care for handies, sorry.

Sometimes I listen to Dr. Drew's podcast/show and he talks about sex drive.  There is a shockingly high number of men who have lower testosterone levels.  Last blood check I was on the low end, but within normal limits.  Its worth checking out because hormones impact your body in many important ways beyond bonerz.  Same thing is true for women.

[Powdered Toast Man!]

@TailDevil  @frank  @pugmaster
thanks for the response pals
i'm getting my testosterone checked and talking this with my therapist once i get back home in some weeks.

yeah, after being married i think im used to making sweet love to a significant other and enjoy it more as opposed to just having casual sex. you would think the sensical thing to do after being committed for so long is to fuck around and be a man slut, but meh, pass. at least not rn. i rather try and heal up alone. i, too, enjoy solitude and seldom date.

it's not that i dont feel good w/o sex drive, it's just bizarre to not be a horn dog anymore. i'm willing to adjust to whatever my body and my circumstances dictate. we'll see.

edit. woops tagged the wrong @Frank

[elbarto]

Last week marked 3 years since my ex left me and to this day she is literally the only thing I can think about 90% of the time. I’ve been in a couple relationships since we split, none of them longer than a few months. Haven’t slept with anyone in close to a year now but really have no more interest in trying to meet new chicks when I still feel this way. Doesn’t seem fair to them. Any other pals in here dealin’ with long term heart break?

[Sila]

@Max.ceferino I'm early 30's, very physically healthy and my interest in sex has dipped a lot of over the last couple of years aswell. I have major depression and it's definitely a contributor but even masturbating is a lackluster experience and I do it more so because I feel like I have to. I can still look at people and think 'wow you are attractive' but the drive and physical urge to have sex just isn't there. Damn maybe I should get my T checked aswell. I'm also worn out from my long term relationships of the past and have some lingering insecurities about getting close to people again but it feels weird to almost never be horny

[childhood]

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@Max.ceferino I'm early 30's, very physically healthy and my interest in sex has dipped a lot of over the last couple of years aswell. I have major depression and it's definitely a contributor but even masturbating is a lackluster experience and I do it more so because I feel like I have to. I can still look at people and think 'wow you are attractive' but the drive and physical urge to have sex just isn't there. Damn maybe I should get my T checked aswell. I'm also worn out from my long term relationships of the past and have some lingering insecurities about getting close to people again but it feels weird to almost never be horny

[close]

there's soooooo much stuff that goes into our body that can lower T levels and increase E levels. Endocrine disruption is a massive problem and due to plastics/fossil fuel based stuff. Seems like the people commenting here are of similar age (I'm in that bracket too), and we're of the generation that really got hit hard with plastics, personal care products, and BPA (basically fossil fuel derived stuff) as kids and through our whole lives. I'm not trying to get conspiratorial, but this seems to be a really, really common thing with guys our age. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong but it's worth considering that it has NOTHING to do with YOU, but the poison we've been sold our whole lives. There's myriad reasons why, in the natural scheme of things, fossil fuels were kept underground. it's pure poison

Not saying that those aren't contributing factors (kinda reminds me of how the use of leaded gas is linked to high rates of violent crime https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lead%E2%80%93crime_hypothesis) , but I've always assumed that being disproportionately horny in your teens/early 20s is largely an evolutionary thing?

Like for our ancestors that was technically the "best" time to have kids, since you're usually at your most fit and best able to defend your children at that age, so those genes got passed on, and now we are how we are today. I don't really know though, just what I always assumed.

[jgonzalez]

@mex.ceferino

te quiero mucho mijo good for you for going to the doctor and having a therapist I just hope you’re happy mijo cuidense dios te ama mucho

[RENTSTRIKE]

Last week marked 3 years since my ex left me and to this day she is literally the only thing I can think about 90% of the time. I’ve been in a couple relationships since we split, none of them longer than a few months. Haven’t slept with anyone in close to a year now but really have no more interest in trying to meet new chicks when I still feel this way. Doesn’t seem fair to them. Any other pals in here dealin’ with long term heart break?

I had a similar hangup on an ex early on in college -- it took ages for me to get over an on/off high school relationship that barely lasted a year when all was said and done (not to say it's an immature problem to have - just ran into it at that time in my life). Some self reflection and a conversation with an old friend helped me realize that a bad habit that I have gotten into at times is fixating/focusing on a relationship/romantic situation in order to displace anxiety around other things going on in my life.

Do you think there's a chance your stuck on your ex because you're nervous about meeting other women/dealing with another heartbreak; or because there are other issues in your personal life that you're subconsciously avoiding the thought of and letting your last relationship dominate your thoughts instead (family issues, job insecurity, etc.)?