Author Topic: tinder (Read 391100 times)

tobey · « **Reply #1650 on:** July 29, 2015, 12:13:03 AM »

Can't wait to get kooked a bunch of times for this post but at least this time you guys can actually be jealous of something.

Finally hung out with the girl i been dying to hang out with and she even looked better in person, i picked her up at like 11 pm and i almost blew it again with her. we had plans to hang out sunday night and then she didn't respond to any of my texts that day so i was thinking "fuck this girl is going to bail". So i hit up another girl from tinder and asked her to come over and she said yes. She was leaving the party as soon as the girl texted me saying hey we hanging out still? She didn't get any of my texts cause my phone is a piece of shit so i quickly told the other girl saying like hey my dad is bummed i drank all his beer so he doesn't want anyone over. fyi my dad doesn't drink. So i picked up the girl and we just came back to my house and drank a couple of beers but we started making out like right away. We missed so much of the movie i was like you wanna watch something else and she said lets watch this is the end. So as soon as that movie started we got to the good parts and started to have sex and im not talking out of my ass we had sex for an hour an half. She came twice like half way through so i was like cool my jobs done but she was determine to make me cum and she did about 40 minutes later. I felt like i lost 10 pounds after i busted it was insane, she gave it 110 % and that just makes me like her so much more. Best thing is she lives like 10 minutes or less than me and she wants to come over tomorrow night. YAY ME

foureyedjim · « **Reply #1651 on:** July 29, 2015, 12:43:36 AM »

jokes on you, gnard

mynameisnotjeff · « **Reply #1652 on:** July 29, 2015, 01:24:10 AM »

Quote from: tobey on July 29, 2015, 12:13:03 AM

Can't wait to get kooked a bunch of times for this post but at least this time you guys can actually be jealous of something.

Finally hung out with the girl i been dying to hang out with and she even looked better in person, i picked her up at like 11 pm and i almost blew it again with her. we had plans to hang out sunday night and then she didn't respond to any of my texts that day so i was thinking "fuck this girl is going to bail". So i hit up another girl from tinder and asked her to come over and she said yes. She was leaving the party as soon as the girl texted me saying hey we hanging out still? She didn't get any of my texts cause my phone is a piece of shit so i quickly told the other girl saying like hey my dad is bummed i drank all his beer so he doesn't want anyone over. fyi my dad doesn't drink. So i picked up the girl and we just came back to my house and drank a couple of beers but we started making out like right away. We missed so much of the movie i was like you wanna watch something else and she said lets watch this is the end. So as soon as that movie started we got to the good parts and started to have sex and im not talking out of my ass we had sex for an hour an half. She came twice like half way through so i was like cool my jobs done but she was determine to make me cum and she did about 40 minutes later. I felt like i lost 10 pounds after i busted it was insane, she gave it 110 % and that just makes me like her so much more. Best thing is she lives like 10 minutes or less than me and she wants to come over tomorrow night. YAY ME

I think you have found the one lol

Yushin Okami · « **Reply #1653 on:** July 29, 2015, 07:33:00 AM »

Quote from: tobey on July 29, 2015, 12:13:03 AM

Can't wait to get kooked a bunch of times for this post but at least this time you guys can actually be jealous of something.

Finally hung out with the girl i been dying to hang out with and she even looked better in person, i picked her up at like 11 pm and i almost blew it again with her. we had plans to hang out sunday night and then she didn't respond to any of my texts that day so i was thinking "fuck this girl is going to bail". So i hit up another girl from tinder and asked her to come over and she said yes. She was leaving the party as soon as the girl texted me saying hey we hanging out still? She didn't get any of my texts cause my phone is a piece of shit so i quickly told the other girl saying like hey my dad is bummed i drank all his beer so he doesn't want anyone over. fyi my dad doesn't drink. So i picked up the girl and we just came back to my house and drank a couple of beers but we started making out like right away. We missed so much of the movie i was like you wanna watch something else and she said lets watch this is the end. So as soon as that movie started we got to the good parts and started to have sex and im not talking out of my ass we had sex for an hour an half. She came twice like half way through so i was like cool my jobs done but she was determine to make me cum and she did about 40 minutes later. I felt like i lost 10 pounds after i busted it was insane, she gave it 110 % and that just makes me like her so much more. Best thing is she lives like 10 minutes or less than me and she wants to come over tomorrow night. YAY ME

The only reason you should get kooked for this is post is for thinking you should get kooked... nice work!

posguy · « **Reply #1654 on:** July 29, 2015, 08:04:05 AM »

Quote from: tobey on July 29, 2015, 12:13:03 AM

Can't wait to get kooked a bunch of times for this post but at least this time you guys can actually be jealous of something.

Finally hung out with the girl i been dying to hang out with and she even looked better in person, i picked her up at like 11 pm and i almost blew it again with her. we had plans to hang out sunday night and then she didn't respond to any of my texts that day so i was thinking "fuck this girl is going to bail". So i hit up another girl from tinder and asked her to come over and she said yes. She was leaving the party as soon as the girl texted me saying hey we hanging out still? She didn't get any of my texts cause my phone is a piece of shit so i quickly told the other girl saying like hey my dad is bummed i drank all his beer so he doesn't want anyone over. fyi my dad doesn't drink. So i picked up the girl and we just came back to my house and drank a couple of beers but we started making out like right away. We missed so much of the movie i was like you wanna watch something else and she said lets watch this is the end. So as soon as that movie started we got to the good parts and started to have sex and im not talking out of my ass we had sex for an hour an half. She came twice like half way through so i was like cool my jobs done but she was determine to make me cum and she did about 40 minutes later. I felt like i lost 10 pounds after i busted it was insane, she gave it 110 % and that just makes me like her so much more. Best thing is she lives like 10 minutes or less than me and she wants to come over tomorrow night. YAY ME

Congrats man! If a girl doesn't respond to your texts, just remember she's got stuff going on too like friends, work, school, naps, you know, the everyday stuff. It doesn't automatically mean she's ditching you.

excitableboy · « **Reply #1655 on:** July 29, 2015, 08:20:38 AM »

I will never know how you fucking do it Tobey, but more power to you. What a magnificent scenario.

Is this one of those sunbed girls?

tobey · « **Reply #1656 on:** July 29, 2015, 09:11:27 AM »

Quote from: excitableboy on July 29, 2015, 08:20:38 AM

I will never know how you fucking do it Tobey, but more power to you. What a magnificent scenario.

Is this one of those sunbed girls?

This girl actually wasnt from tinder she went to the same high school as me actually just a couple years back of me. I got drunk one night and messaged her on facebook cause i noticed she was always liking my statuses and we just hit it off.

mattofallmatts · « **Reply #1657 on:** July 29, 2015, 12:18:43 PM »

Dr Steve Brule · « **Reply #1658 on:** July 29, 2015, 12:43:26 PM »

Quote from: mattofallmatts on July 29, 2015, 12:18:43 PM

pics

tobey · « **Reply #1659 on:** July 29, 2015, 11:24:58 PM »

^ first slap pals video

Hung out with her again tonight and i was sober. We watched the maze runner and i was getting in to it you know? like the movie was sick and the second one comes out soon but she kept distracting me. Like we would make out for a little and then i went back to the movie but everytime i did that she put her hands like around my dick. Finally i gave in and said 'okay want the tour of my room"? she was already in my room before so she thought that was funny so i just fucked her for like 30 minutes she got off 3 times and i didn't. I was sooooo close and i told her like stay right there but she would stay there for like a couple of seconds then just get crazy. So i gave up and plus i wasn't really in the mood to begin with but the past couple times i have had sex with condoms they always fall off like in to the girls pussy and its pretty unsexy for a girl to be digging around down there trying to find a condom, i don't know thats just me. Does this mean i have to buy bigger condoms?

sleepypancakes · « **Reply #1660 on:** July 29, 2015, 11:30:54 PM »

Quote from: tobey on July 29, 2015, 11:24:58 PM

^ first slap pals video

Hung out with her again tonight and i was sober. We watched the maze runner and i was getting in to it you know? like the movie was sick and the second one comes out soon but she kept distracting me. Like we would make out for a little and then i went back to the movie but everytime i did that she put her hands like around my dick. Finally i gave in and said 'okay want the tour of my room"? she was already in my room before so she thought that was funny so i just fucked her for like 30 minutes she got off 3 times and i didn't. I was sooooo close and i told her like stay right there but she would stay there for like a couple of seconds then just get crazy. So i gave up and plus i wasn't really in the mood to begin with but the past couple times i have had sex with condoms they always fall off like in to the girls pussy and its pretty unsexy for a girl to be digging around down there trying to find a condom, i don't know thats just me. Does this mean i have to buy bigger condoms?

It means you should've finished the movie first. WILL POWER TOBEY.

tobey · « **Reply #1661 on:** July 30, 2015, 12:07:02 AM »

last words of advice guys, use this as your bio. Got matched up with a ton of cute girls with this thing

Back to bumping the netflix thread every night

Yushin Okami · « **Reply #1662 on:** July 30, 2015, 09:15:25 AM »

How I imagine Tobey's dates going...

tobey · « **Reply #1663 on:** July 30, 2015, 09:23:16 AM »

^my dick isnt THAT big. Plus i have never posted a dick picture on tinder, its just a funny bio because the girls on there say people post a ton of dick pictures. Told you guys be sarcastic

shark tits · « **Reply #1664 on:** July 30, 2015, 11:22:13 AM »

Quote from: tobey on July 29, 2015, 11:24:58 PM

^ first slap pals video

Hung out with her again tonight and i was sober. We watched the maze runner and i was getting in to it you know? like the movie was sick and the second one comes out soon but she kept distracting me. Like we would make out for a little and then i went back to the movie but everytime i did that she put her hands like around my dick. Finally i gave in and said 'okay want the tour of my room"? she was already in my room before so she thought that was funny so i just fucked her for like 30 minutes she got off 3 times and i didn't. I was sooooo close and i told her like stay right there but she would stay there for like a couple of seconds then just get crazy. So i gave up and plus i wasn't really in the mood to begin with but the past couple times i have had sex with condoms they always fall off like in to the girls pussy and its pretty unsexy for a girl to be digging around down there trying to find a condom, i don't know thats just me. Does this mean i have to buy bigger condoms?

it means you're too big for condoms playboy. unless you grab a garden snake out the yard and throw that jawn on you'll just keep having the same problem.
i had an epiphany reading your post. maybe like they should put a string at the end of em like tampons. i always like pulling a bloody tampon out by its little string, condom wouldn't be as neat but least it would be convenient.

ttching! · « **Reply #1665 on:** July 30, 2015, 12:05:34 PM »

LifeHammered · « **Reply #1666 on:** July 30, 2015, 12:21:06 PM »

I've found adding the words "love brunch" to your bio boosts your match rate instantly. Bitches love brunch.

weedpop · « **Reply #1667 on:** July 30, 2015, 02:42:25 PM »

Quote from: I sniff my own butthole all the time on July 30, 2015, 11:22:13 AM

i had an epiphany reading your post. maybe like they should put a string at the end of em like tampons. i always like pulling a bloody tampon out by its little string, condom wouldn't be as neat but least it would be convenient.

Dude, that's what the handles are for.

I kind of doubt that Tobey is actually 'too big for condoms' given that he's quoted his size as being six inches on here before. Unless you have pop can girth, you shouldn't have any trouble finding condoms that fit at 6".

Try messing around with different sizes and see which one works best. The world doesn't need any more little Tobeys running around so its in all of our best interests that you keep that thing wrapped up. If all else fails, just run over to CVS and grab a couple of shopping bags.

shark tits · « **Reply #1668 on:** July 30, 2015, 02:53:17 PM »

honestly a loose sock is gonna come off before a tight sock so if anything the condom is too big but like tobey, i like to contribute to the myth of tobey's giant dick.

Nosferatu · « **Reply #1669 on:** July 30, 2015, 03:33:29 PM »

im making a kickstarter to fly tobey and cigarettebeer out to take a picture of their dicks side by side. plz donate.

fulltechnicalskizzy · « **Reply #1670 on:** July 30, 2015, 03:39:30 PM »

tobey what would you do if you were rawdoggin' some clam with your giant diamond cutter cock and she mentioned that she loved Joe Dirt II right in the middle of one your trademark extra extra extra deep strokes?

tobey · « **Reply #1671 on:** July 30, 2015, 06:28:37 PM »

Quote from: fulltechnicalskizzy on July 30, 2015, 03:39:30 PM

tobey what would you do if you were rawdoggin' some clam with your giant diamond cutter cock and she mentioned that she loved Joe Dirt II right in the middle of one your trademark extra extra extra deep strokes?

if she loved joe dirt 2 i would just stop and make her leave, that movie was a huge let down

Fenzadill · « **Reply #1672 on:** July 30, 2015, 11:55:48 PM »

tobey i picked up from subtle context clues that you got a big fat hog swingin in those swim trunks, confirm/deny?

tobey · « **Reply #1673 on:** July 31, 2015, 12:03:27 AM »

Quote from: Fenzadill on July 30, 2015, 11:55:48 PM

tobey i picked up from subtle context clues that you got a big fat hog swingin in those swim trunks, confirm/deny?

i honestly don't know, girls say i have a big dick but i think they are just being nice. I would be way more embarrassed if i went to the drug store and bought magnums, like basically ill just think the dude would be thinking this "what this pussy ass white boy thinking?"

also hung out with her again tonight and i wanted to watch the iceman, i have already seen it and she never have so i was really looking forward to her input. She just played with my dick the whole time

pencil · « **Reply #1674 on:** July 31, 2015, 12:39:08 AM »

Quote from: tobey on July 31, 2015, 12:03:27 AM

Quote from: Fenzadill on July 30, 2015, 11:55:48 PM
Expand Quote
tobey i picked up from subtle context clues that you got a big fat hog swingin in those swim trunks, confirm/deny?
[close]

i honestly don't know, girls say i have a big dick but i think they are just being nice. I would be way more embarrassed if i went to the drug store and bought magnums, like basically ill just think the dude would be thinking this "what this pussy ass white boy thinking?"

also hung out with her again tonight and i wanted to watch the iceman, i have already seen it and she never have so i was really looking forward to her input. She just played with my dick the whole time

brycickle · « **Reply #1675 on:** July 31, 2015, 06:28:21 AM »

That's what you would call a good problem.

JB · « **Reply #1676 on:** July 31, 2015, 09:17:12 AM »

Quote from: brycickle on July 31, 2015, 06:28:21 AM

That's what you would call a good problem.

right?

if you want a girl who you can sit and watch tv with, you gotta put something on that she wants to watch. and that usually means sitting through something shitty like the bachelor. and trust me, you dont want to go from dick grabbing to the bachelor.

Yushin Okami · « **Reply #1677 on:** July 31, 2015, 09:40:33 AM »

Quote from: JB on July 31, 2015, 09:17:12 AM

Quote from: brycickle on July 31, 2015, 06:28:21 AM
Expand Quote
That's what you would call a good problem.
[close]

right?

if you want a girl who you can sit and watch tv with, you gotta put something on that she wants to watch. and that usually means sitting through something shitty like the bachelor. and trust me, you dont want to go from dick grabbing to the bachelor.

Whoa whoa whoa... let's not start bashing the Bachelor

tobey · « **Reply #1678 on:** July 31, 2015, 06:32:33 PM »

Quote from: JB on July 31, 2015, 09:17:12 AM

Quote from: brycickle on July 31, 2015, 06:28:21 AM
Expand Quote
That's what you would call a good problem.
[close]

right?

if you want a girl who you can sit and watch tv with, you gotta put something on that she wants to watch. and that usually means sitting through something shitty like the bachelor. and trust me, you dont want to go from dick grabbing to the bachelor.

yeah this is true, its just that im not in the mood for sex when i take my meds. Last night was a spur of the moment thing so i already took my meds. Sex is the worst when im on my meds, like last night the same thing happened before i was so close to cumming then nothing would happened. That shit frustrates me, dont get me wrong i was still in to it, but it sucks when you can't cum for sex no matter how long you put in to it. Still it was a good night though, just i need to plan things with her.

she gave me her hulu account though so she can get whatever she wants from me whenever

Carrolls Chesthairs · « **Reply #1679 on:** August 01, 2015, 09:31:49 AM »

Quote from: tobey on July 31, 2015, 06:32:33 PM

Quote from: JB on July 31, 2015, 09:17:12 AM
Expand Quote
Quote from: brycickle on July 31, 2015, 06:28:21 AM
Expand Quote
That's what you would call a good problem.
[close]

right?

if you want a girl who you can sit and watch tv with, you gotta put something on that she wants to watch. and that usually means sitting through something shitty like the bachelor. and trust me, you dont want to go from dick grabbing to the bachelor.
[close]

yeah this is true, its just that im not in the mood for sex when i take my meds. Last night was a spur of the moment thing so i already took my meds. Sex is the worst when im on my meds, like last night the same thing happened before i was so close to cumming then nothing would happened. That shit frustrates me, dont get me wrong i was still in to it, but it sucks when you can't cum for sex no matter how long you put in to it. Still it was a good night though, just i need to plan things with her.

she gave me her hulu account though so she can get whatever she wants from me whenever

WB your cum?

Author Topic: tinder (Read 391100 times)

foureyedjim

shark tits

shark tits

fulltechnicalskizzy