The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread

[Frank]

@Ms. Tamzarian

fuck, that's crazy i'm so sorry your marriage ended up like this. but at the same time, hell yeah on getting out of there. i admit the whole thing is a bit overwhelming to me to make a complex statement. your ex is a stupid asshole.

[Ms. Tamzarian]

Thank you homies!!!!! : )

I think my self confidence issues are extremely minimal compared to everything else people are writing about here but I’ll say it anyway. Lately been feeling like I can’t do anything right and I’m only getting recognized for when i fuck up, which seems to be every day. Feeling stuck in this self detructive phase where i focus on all my shortcomings and brush off anything i do well as insignificant or meaningless

It's all good all are welcome! im sorry shits been so heavy for you that fuckin sucks and i feel that very hard, opening up about it no small accomplishment and I'm glad you're here! was there anything that you feel like started this phase for you?

edit: damn Frank you're the realest :' ) thank you so much that means the world to me, ugh. I'm just grateful to have this shit BEHIND me ahhhh, fucking sucks but like Rodney mullen says skaters have a uniquely intuitive understanding of how to get up like nothing after eating SHIT hahahaha : )

[Candied cigarettes]

Thank you homies!!!!! : )

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I think my self confidence issues are extremely minimal compared to everything else people are writing about here but I’ll say it anyway. Lately been feeling like I can’t do anything right and I’m only getting recognized for when i fuck up, which seems to be every day. Feeling stuck in this self detructive phase where i focus on all my shortcomings and brush off anything i do well as insignificant or meaningless

[close]

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It's all good all are welcome! im sorry shits been so heavy for you that fuckin sucks and i feel that very hard, opening up about it no small accomplishment and I'm glad you're here! was there anything that you feel like started this phase for you?

[close]

edit: damn Frank you're the realest :' ) thank you so much that means the world to me, ugh. I'm just grateful to have this shit BEHIND me ahhhh, fucking sucks but like Rodney mullen says skaters have a uniquely intuitive understanding of how to get up like nothing after eating SHIT hahahaha : )

Thank you dude, i think it’s partially because I’ve been dealing with a string of injuries the last few months along with a couple strike outs with girls I thought were going well. the neglect of my usual exercise routine due to injury, coupled with the strike outs, have left me in a shit mood and time to sit thinking and spiral out into some self loathing thoughts. It’s been like this for a few weeks now and as much as i want to shake it it’s difficult. Overall, life just feels like an uphill slog where I’m just hanging on but also wondering why…

[theresnothinghere]

Got out of a a 14 day hold from the hospital this week. A friend brought me in after an attempt. It was really rough. Can't even explain how low and embarrassed I felt and bummed that this was how my year started. The experience itself but honestly, mostly the hospitalization itself was incredibly hard and has set me in a weird place. Wards really are awful places with not much actual help and some pretty awful treatment. Not sure if I'm glad to be alive quite yet but glad to be out of there. On Slap to get a little serotonin boost and read/see what the rest of the world is up to. Glad to be posting.

[landedprimo]

Glad to see you here. Do you have any after care set up? Wards tend to get overcrowded and they lose sight of their patients.

Be well and if you're in the US, 988 is the suicide hotline for anyone that needs it.

[RoaryMcTwang]

Got out of a a 14 day hold from the hospital this week. A friend brought me in after an attempt. It was really rough. Can't even explain how low and embarrassed I felt and bummed that this was how my year started. The experience itself but honestly, mostly the hospitalization itself was incredibly hard and has set me in a weird place. Wards really are awful places with not much actual help and some pretty awful treatment. Not sure if I'm glad to be alive quite yet but glad to be out of there. On Slap to get a little serotonin boost and read/see what the rest of the world is up to. Glad to be posting.

And we are glad you are posting! That sounds like an awful experience, good to hear you made it out of there. Feel free to dm me if you need someone to share some of this stuff with. 

[theresnothinghere]

Glad to see you here. Do you have any after care set up? Wards tend to get overcrowded and they lose sight of their patients.

Be well and if you're in the US, 988 is the suicide hotline for anyone that needs it.

Yeah I was having a lot of issues getting meds/therapy referral but ironically getting hospitalized put me first in line for both as soon as I got out so that's a positive. Appreciate you asking though.

[Jim and Dan]

Happy 2023 everyone

I have had a very on and off presence on here over the years and I know its just a fun place where we go to chat about our hobbies but SLAP really means so much to me and I appreciate the shit out of you all.

About 3 weeks ago, I emergency moved out of the apartment my now ex and I had together. We were together for 3 years, and I don't want to vilify anyone, but they have some serious behavioral problems. They were very abusive. I don't know how I got so caught in it or how abuse ever ensnares people like it does, but it happened to me. It was so fucked and they controlled my life, destroyed my friendships, dictated my activities, stifled my hobbies - you name it they did it for 3 years and with every time I somehow found the courage to say please don't hurt me, their promises to stop turned into a more sophisticated method of doing the same thing.

My oldest sister and I were talking one morning about 3 weeks ago and she was the one to finally break the spell and encourage me to get the fuck out, so I drove from my job back back to the apartment.... my ex was of course home.... I gathered up whatever belongings I could as well as my beloved kitty cat, doing my best to not succumb to the battering of manipulative shit they were saying as I prepared my things.... they even had one of their boyfriends (yes) come over while I was leaving to "keep them safe" because apparently seeing me flee for my safety just broke their heart? I don't fucking know dude I can't even begin with that shit, I don't mean to just be talking shit at this point but idk I just want to say shit was scary as fuck while at the same time being the most bitter slap in the face but I STILL DID IT

and now I'm safe I'm in the process of remembering what the fuck it feels like to be myself and not live every fucking second in terror of what an abusive partner would do if I ever stood up for myself. 

There were several times over the past 3 years when I would just rant about the dumbest shit on here and I want to apologize for that, that was 100% my bad. The fucking situation I was in.... I ended up having sporadic outbursts in my life over nothing because I had nowhere else to turn, every other avenue of emotion in my life had become hostile and roped off by my ex. I didn't even have access to skateboarding cause that would've meant I was enjoying life without my partner? Idfk ugh but yeah I literally didn't know shit about skating for 3 years so I'm sorry for all the ignorant shit I said about skaters that was on me. No one owes me a thing, but I hope to turn a new leaf and just be the kid inside of me that got forced into a dark corner for the past 3 years. It's good to be on here again and know I wont have to dip when things become weird at home

Cause that shit was never home and won't ever be home again!

I'm very lucky to be staying at my folks place now, currently recovering from the god damn rona ugh my first rodeo with it, I can't wait to get myself a new complete and go skate again as soon as I'm well!

Glad you're out JB, I too know what it's like to be with an extremely manipulative and abusive partner, the sentiments you echoed sound horribly familiar to my current situation and am trying to work up the strength to leave or it's eventually going to kill me one way or another.

[JB]

^ that wasn't me, but I appreciate your comment and everyone else's all the same.

Nothing really to update about my situation. Just re-read what I wrote and that's exactly how I feel today. We've had ups and downs since that other post, but the situation is the same. TikTok gets way more of her attention than I do, and I still feel like shit for how I feel.

I've decided that I'm taking a step back from overworking on it with her. She's the one who needs to change, not me. Just hoping it doesn't backfire into making things worse.

I just feel like I'm going to spend my life trying to make others happy and at the end of it I'm either going to still feel like I didn't try hard enough, or I'm going to be full of regret for not making myself more of a priority.

[Jim and Dan]

^ that wasn't me, but I appreciate your comment and everyone else's all the same.

Nothing really to update about my situation. Just re-read what I wrote and that's exactly how I feel today. We've had ups and downs since that other post, but the situation is the same. TikTok gets way more of her attention than I do, and I still feel like shit for how I feel.

I've decided that I'm taking a step back from overworking on it with her. She's the one who needs to change, not me. Just hoping it doesn't backfire into making things worse.

I just feel like I'm going to spend my life trying to make others happy and at the end of it I'm either going to still feel like I didn't try hard enough, or I'm going to be full of regret for not making myself more of a priority.

I meant Ms. Tamzarian, not sure why I got so confused and thank you for the correction.

The last 4-5 years have been basically devoted to making someone else happy and I'm really at my wits end with it. People who refuse to take personal responsibility for their actions and show little to no desire to change while requesting that you conform to their desires are nothing but emotional takers, constantly moving the goal posts for success and forgoing most or any blame for their actions. I was in complete denial for years, telling myself I needed this to maintain sobriety, having boundaries I couldn't cross and having to be disciplined. I see now that it's just a way to isolate and control me, having the power to dictate what I can and can't do, who I can see or talk to, even down to what I can think. For years I found myself in a war of attrition, refusing to quit when I probably should have, not wanting to be the one who gave up on the relationship and twisting my own notions of past failures into it all. I've finally been able to accept what this all is, the bottom line is that it's emotional and psychological abuse, wrought with tons of manipulation that preys on my insecurities. While I can't tell anyone else what to do in their respective relationships, I myself am finding that their are certain people out there that are just broken, manipulative and borderline evil people who reflect their own shortcomings onto others in an attempt to rationalize and justify their own fucked up behaviors.   

[lamfordie]

I signed up for hims and they are giving me generic Lexapro. I was wondering if anyone else have taken it and how do you feel and if there's any serious symptoms.

[Mr. Kamikazi]

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i got pure-o OCD

[close]

Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior

A great book that is currently helping me a ton. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Know this; it’s your brain, not you. You are not OCD. You have a medical condition. That information itself has been extremely helpful for me. The book is self guided therapy. Check it out.

[close]

Thanks man, i'll look into it. I appreciate the recommendation. I've had pure-O on and off for a while now, probably started in my mid-teens but worsened in my early 20s. I went to OCD-specific therapy at the OCD Center of LA which was life-changing. Since then I've had a lot of good years with minimal OCD. I am currently having a 'flare-up'. It's been hard because I am short on work right now so I have a lot of time to think and not much to distract me from my mind, but the good thing is that at this point in my life I know these times will just come and go and you just have to roll with it.

If I'm ever feeling sorry for myself I just remind myself that pretty much everyone has something going on, whether it's a gnarly physical ailment, a disease, an addiction or a mental health issue. OCD is hard but everyone deals with something, and I've been blessed with having great health in every other part of my life.

Here to chat if you ever want someone to talk about OCD stuff with.

Starting therapy tomorrow for OCD related stuff. Wish me luck! Also just started meds, very low dose. I wish everyone well & know you matter.

[Jim and Dan]

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i got pure-o OCD

[close]

Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior

A great book that is currently helping me a ton. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Know this; it’s your brain, not you. You are not OCD. You have a medical condition. That information itself has been extremely helpful for me. The book is self guided therapy. Check it out.

[close]

Thanks man, i'll look into it. I appreciate the recommendation. I've had pure-O on and off for a while now, probably started in my mid-teens but worsened in my early 20s. I went to OCD-specific therapy at the OCD Center of LA which was life-changing. Since then I've had a lot of good years with minimal OCD. I am currently having a 'flare-up'. It's been hard because I am short on work right now so I have a lot of time to think and not much to distract me from my mind, but the good thing is that at this point in my life I know these times will just come and go and you just have to roll with it.

If I'm ever feeling sorry for myself I just remind myself that pretty much everyone has something going on, whether it's a gnarly physical ailment, a disease, an addiction or a mental health issue. OCD is hard but everyone deals with something, and I've been blessed with having great health in every other part of my life.

Here to chat if you ever want someone to talk about OCD stuff with.

[close]

Starting therapy tomorrow for OCD related stuff. Wish me luck! Also just started meds, very low dose. I wish everyone well & know you matter.

Good luck mate! Had that shit as a kid related to germs and it was fucking exhausting to say the least, not to mention highly irrational at the best of times and downright borderline psychotic at the worst.

[Mr. Kamikazi]

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i got pure-o OCD

[close]

Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior

A great book that is currently helping me a ton. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Know this; it’s your brain, not you. You are not OCD. You have a medical condition. That information itself has been extremely helpful for me. The book is self guided therapy. Check it out.

[close]

Thanks man, i'll look into it. I appreciate the recommendation. I've had pure-O on and off for a while now, probably started in my mid-teens but worsened in my early 20s. I went to OCD-specific therapy at the OCD Center of LA which was life-changing. Since then I've had a lot of good years with minimal OCD. I am currently having a 'flare-up'. It's been hard because I am short on work right now so I have a lot of time to think and not much to distract me from my mind, but the good thing is that at this point in my life I know these times will just come and go and you just have to roll with it.

If I'm ever feeling sorry for myself I just remind myself that pretty much everyone has something going on, whether it's a gnarly physical ailment, a disease, an addiction or a mental health issue. OCD is hard but everyone deals with something, and I've been blessed with having great health in every other part of my life.

Here to chat if you ever want someone to talk about OCD stuff with.

[close]

Starting therapy tomorrow for OCD related stuff. Wish me luck! Also just started meds, very low dose. I wish everyone well & know you matter.

[close]

Good luck mate! Had that shit as a kid related to germs and it was fucking exhausting to say the least, not to mention highly irrational at the best of times and downright borderline psychotic at the worst.

Yeah, we shall see! I’ve got my own nonsense I need to work through as I’ve experienced a ton of psychological abuse & bullying as kid so I’m sure that is variable. I can remember having some oddities about me as a kiddo so I’m sure there’s other stuff too. Either way, I’m happy to try. I know I’ll pull through & get to a good point. Kicked alcohol (almost 9 months) 1.5 year no smoking cigarettes, so I can do this. Thankfully I have my wife, son & very good financial stability so I’m viewing this as an investment in myself. Something that is overdue.

[Candied cigarettes]

Been feeling like I can’t ever catch a break. The last 4 months have been one shitshow after another. I’m not gonna pretend I’m perfect, I’ve definitely fucked up too but shit just feels unfair. Couple months ago i got this weird rib pain that’s persisted despite 6 weeks of rest- thought it was done then after one day of exercising (but not skating or snowboarding) again it came right back. Most recently, i got slapped with an 800$ ticket for driving without tire chains and having expired tabs- tried to sort it out today, but it turns out i need my vehicle title which i lost, so i gotta deal with that, on top of a court date. So now I’m sitting in a dr office to get this weird pain checked out pretty much expecting bad news because why the fuck would I expect differently. People keep on telling me to “keep my head up” and i just want to scream FUCK YOU every time because I’m obviously bitter and sick of people’s fake positivity.

Not trying to do a “woe is me life is unfair” post and I realize people have bigger problems but right now life is just kicking my ass and I feel like I’m barely hanging on.

[lilboosie]

Been feeling like I can’t ever catch a break. The last 4 months have been one shitshow after another. I’m not gonna pretend I’m perfect, I’ve definitely fucked up too but shit just feels unfair. Couple months ago i got this weird rib pain that’s persisted despite 6 weeks of rest- thought it was done then after one day of exercising (but not skating or snowboarding) again it came right back. Most recently, i got slapped with an 800$ ticket for driving without tire chains and having expired tabs- tried to sort it out today, but it turns out i need my vehicle title which i lost, so i gotta deal with that, on top of a court date. So now I’m sitting in a dr office to get this weird pain checked out pretty much expecting bad news because why the fuck would I expect differently. People keep on telling me to “keep my head up” and i just want to scream FUCK YOU every time because I’m obviously bitter and sick of people’s fake positivity.

Not trying to do a “woe is me life is unfair” post and I realize people have bigger problems but right now life is just kicking my ass and I feel like I’m barely hanging on.

Fuck I hope this all turns out ok.  Hit me up whenever   

[Candied cigarettes]

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Been feeling like I can’t ever catch a break. The last 4 months have been one shitshow after another. I’m not gonna pretend I’m perfect, I’ve definitely fucked up too but shit just feels unfair. Couple months ago i got this weird rib pain that’s persisted despite 6 weeks of rest- thought it was done then after one day of exercising (but not skating or snowboarding) again it came right back. Most recently, i got slapped with an 800$ ticket for driving without tire chains and having expired tabs- tried to sort it out today, but it turns out i need my vehicle title which i lost, so i gotta deal with that, on top of a court date. So now I’m sitting in a dr office to get this weird pain checked out pretty much expecting bad news because why the fuck would I expect differently. People keep on telling me to “keep my head up” and i just want to scream FUCK YOU every time because I’m obviously bitter and sick of people’s fake positivity.

Not trying to do a “woe is me life is unfair” post and I realize people have bigger problems but right now life is just kicking my ass and I feel like I’m barely hanging on.

[close]

Fuck I hope this all turns out ok.  Hit me up whenever

Thanks boosie, appreciate you! Turns out it’s a cartilage injury which means i can continue on with physical activity as long as it’s not painful. Gonna start pt asap so that should help out

[lilboosie]

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Been feeling like I can’t ever catch a break. The last 4 months have been one shitshow after another. I’m not gonna pretend I’m perfect, I’ve definitely fucked up too but shit just feels unfair. Couple months ago i got this weird rib pain that’s persisted despite 6 weeks of rest- thought it was done then after one day of exercising (but not skating or snowboarding) again it came right back. Most recently, i got slapped with an 800$ ticket for driving without tire chains and having expired tabs- tried to sort it out today, but it turns out i need my vehicle title which i lost, so i gotta deal with that, on top of a court date. So now I’m sitting in a dr office to get this weird pain checked out pretty much expecting bad news because why the fuck would I expect differently. People keep on telling me to “keep my head up” and i just want to scream FUCK YOU every time because I’m obviously bitter and sick of people’s fake positivity.

Not trying to do a “woe is me life is unfair” post and I realize people have bigger problems but right now life is just kicking my ass and I feel like I’m barely hanging on.

[close]

Fuck I hope this all turns out ok.  Hit me up whenever

[close]

Thanks boosie, appreciate you! Turns out it’s a cartilage injury which means i can continue on with physical activity as long as it’s not painful. Gonna start pt asap so that should help out

Ok better news ! Hope to session with you asap ! You got this !

[badmanganjaspliff]

I’ve suffered from periods of depression since I was really young, and I got a call from the doctors about a month ago telling me my prescription for anti depressants has been stopped because they don’t want anyone to stay on them for multiple years and become dependant which seems fucking ridiculous to me but whatever. So now I’m back on no meds and I’m finding it really hard to cope with day to day life. I’ve always smoked a lot of weed but since they cut the meds I’ve been finding it borderline unbearable to be sober. I have a girlfriend who I love and a job that’s broadly in the skate industry which I know I should be happy with but I can’t help but be miserable most of the time. I’m hardly even skating at the moment because I can’t find motivation to get out the house. Sorry for the long rant but If anyone else who’s experienced depression can give me some advice I would appreciate it a lot.

[Mr. Kamikazi]

I’ve suffered from periods of depression since I was really young, and I got a call from the doctors about a month ago telling me my prescription for anti depressants has been stopped because they don’t want anyone to stay on them for multiple years and become dependant which seems fucking ridiculous to me but whatever. So now I’m back on no meds and I’m finding it really hard to cope with day to day life. I’ve always smoked a lot of weed but since they cut the meds I’ve been finding it borderline unbearable to be sober. I have a girlfriend who I love and a job that’s broadly in the skate industry which I know I should be happy with but I can’t help but be miserable most of the time. I’m hardly even skating at the moment because I can’t find motivation to get out the house. Sorry for the long rant but If anyone else who’s experienced depression can give me some advice I would appreciate it a lot.

Are you in therapy as unfortunately, medication is often just water wings. I say that to in an honest way, not to be discouraging.

[Frank]

I’ve suffered from periods of depression since I was really young, and I got a call from the doctors about a month ago telling me my prescription for anti depressants has been stopped because they don’t want anyone to stay on them for multiple years and become dependant which seems fucking ridiculous to me but whatever. So now I’m back on no meds and I’m finding it really hard to cope with day to day life. I’ve always smoked a lot of weed but since they cut the meds I’ve been finding it borderline unbearable to be sober. I have a girlfriend who I love and a job that’s broadly in the skate industry which I know I should be happy with but I can’t help but be miserable most of the time. I’m hardly even skating at the moment because I can’t find motivation to get out the house. Sorry for the long rant but If anyone else who’s experienced depression can give me some advice I would appreciate it a lot.

first of all, this sucks and i'm sorry. i totally understand where you are coming from. i was in a similar situation to you about a decade back. i still have depressive periods, but they are not that bad anymore, definitely copable.

this may sound obvious and stupid, but i think it would help if you tried to figure out if you are actually happy working in skateboarding. maybe you'd rather skate and not deal with it on a business level. or maybe you feel lucky you work in skating, but actually that was never your goal. maybe there is or was something else you wanted to pursue and it got buried beneath depression and work and what not. maybe you want to do your current job outside of skateboarding, or maybe it would be good if you stayed in the industry, but could switch the actual work/jobs.

on the one hand, i want to suggest you stop smoking for a bit, even if it sucks, to totally clear out your head, but if it means you get more depressed, that might not be a good idea. it's important you allow yourself some comfort. ultimately i think people that are sick of weed usually have little problems stopping.

when it comes to skating, what helped me was just going out alone, setting very basic goals for myself. basically being alone with my skateboard and taking out the social aspect. it reaffirmed that i love skating, but not necessarily the whole social stuff around it. going skating for skateboardings sake basically.

not sure if any of this hits any mark for you, but these are just some suggestions to find some ease. ultimately i would recommend seeing a therapist you vibe with regularily if that is possible for you. other than that, introspection in search of what is really bothering you is good. try to identify those bothersome things you might have complied with too much all of the time and don't comply anymore for a start.

it's not easy, you don't have to try all this at the same time. but you have options. don't be scared and don't give up

[badmanganjaspliff]

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I’ve suffered from periods of depression since I was really young, and I got a call from the doctors about a month ago telling me my prescription for anti depressants has been stopped because they don’t want anyone to stay on them for multiple years and become dependant which seems fucking ridiculous to me but whatever. So now I’m back on no meds and I’m finding it really hard to cope with day to day life. I’ve always smoked a lot of weed but since they cut the meds I’ve been finding it borderline unbearable to be sober. I have a girlfriend who I love and a job that’s broadly in the skate industry which I know I should be happy with but I can’t help but be miserable most of the time. I’m hardly even skating at the moment because I can’t find motivation to get out the house. Sorry for the long rant but If anyone else who’s experienced depression can give me some advice I would appreciate it a lot.

[close]

first of all, this sucks and i'm sorry. i totally understand where you are coming from. i was in a similar situation to you about a decade back. i still have depressive periods, but they are not that bad anymore, definitely copable.

this may sound obvious and stupid, but i think it would help if you tried to figure out if you are actually happy working in skateboarding. maybe you'd rather skate and not deal with it on a business level. or maybe you feel lucky you work in skating, but actually that was never your goal. maybe there is or was something else you wanted to pursue and it got buried beneath depression and work and what not. maybe you want to do your current job outside of skateboarding, or maybe it would be good if you stayed in the industry, but could switch the actual work/jobs.

on the one hand, i want to suggest you stop smoking for a bit, even if it sucks, to totally clear out your head, but if it means you get more depressed, that might not be a good idea. it's important you allow yourself some comfort. ultimately i think people that are sick of weed usually have little problems stopping.

when it comes to skating, what helped me was just going out alone, setting very basic goals for myself. basically being alone with my skateboard and taking out the social aspect. it reaffirmed that i love skating, but not necessarily the whole social stuff around it. going skating for skateboardings sake basically.

not sure if any of this hits any mark for you, but these are just some suggestions to find some ease. ultimately i would recommend seeing a therapist you vibe with regularily if that is possible for you. other than that, introspection in search of what is really bothering you is good. try to identify those bothersome things you might have complied with too much all of the time and don't comply anymore for a start.

it's not easy, you don't have to try all this at the same time. but you have options. don't be scared and don't give up

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond man, it feels good to get stuff off my chest a bit, as much as I do love my friends I feel like I can’t really talk to them about shit like this. I think you’re probably right about the job stuff, I’m 20 and I just kind of fell into the job from knowing people in the scene and I never put much thought into if it’s really what I want to do. The problem I have is I left school with fuck all qualifications and my only experience outside of my current job is shitty call centre and bar work, so I feel kind of trapped in my job in the sense that I don’t think I could get anything better. I’m really regretting some of the life choices I made when I was younger (mainly dropping out of education), and that’s another thing that’s been getting me down a lot. I think what I’m gonna do is see if I can get therapy on the NHS, and try and get skating on my own at night after work maybe. Thanks again for the advice, it genuinely means a lot.

[Witcheshit]

Its been a while pals...so, my 2023 has come to an apex of sorts. I left my job but am pivoting to get a certification in being a Medical Instrument technician, due to dealing with work burnout and an assault on my personal space. But aside from that, I'm going back to therapy (via kp.org/ginger/calm), joined a remote gym via zoom about a few months back, and am even getting back into skating more, rather than, forgetting why I started it, b/c there's a place for my skating as well as like Windosr's or Spanly's. Sorry for the long winded update, life hammers being thrown!

[Frank]

Its been a while pals...so, my 2023 has come to an apex of sorts. I left my job but am pivoting to get a certification in being a Medical Instrument technician, due to dealing with work burnout and an assault on my personal space. But aside from that, I'm going back to therapy (via kp.org/ginger/calm), joined a remote gym via zoom about a few months back, and am even getting back into skating more, rather than, forgetting why I started it, b/c there's a place for my skating as well as like Windosr's or Spanly's. Sorry for the long winded update, life hammers being thrown!

burnout and assaults suck, but the rest sounds like it's going pretty well! hope you keep it going like this, rad stuff. wishing you much success in getting that certification!

[Candied cigarettes]

Has anyone here tried better health? I did my first session with a therapist a bit ago, and it was fine but I’ve yet to do a real thing. I’ll do more but need to wait a little bit to afford again.

I went to therapy through my health insurance, and that sucked. It took ~a month to find a therapist, and even then it wasn’t what i needed, and at no point did i trust this guy (and he would sip tea super loudly throughout our sessions and I never had the courage to say anything).

So I figured it cant hurt to try something else, and I sincerely hope it’s not just a podcast ad

[Mr. Kamikazi]

Has anyone here tried better health? I did my first session with a therapist a bit ago, and it was fine but I’ve yet to do a real thing. I’ll do more but need to wait a little bit to afford again.

I went to therapy through my health insurance, and that sucked. It took ~a month to find a therapist, and even then it wasn’t what i needed, and at no point did i trust this guy (and he would sip tea super loudly throughout our sessions and I never had the courage to say anything).

So I figured it cant hurt to try something else, and I sincerely hope it’s not just a podcast ad

Have you gone through this website? You can tailor your search to what you need/think you need. Also, always always alwaaaaaaays inquire about a sliding scale. I do it for some of my own clients & it helps. Most therapists have one & telemedicine through insurance is almost always cheaper. I just started through telehealth & it’s great so far. 85.00 per session, flat.

Take this how you want but if I were any of you I’d stay clear from Cerebral Health, Hims, or any of these big places. Find someone who works through a smaller agency or independent practice when possible.

I wish you all well. Blue skies & golden sunshine all along the way.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/pennsylvania?gclid=Cj0KCQiAjbagBhD3ARIsANRrqEsjJzFMwpiYeJZ0bdwSjZCC7RGZlsBL8oMbJUn0XN_bzNx1EHdzA98aAuLYEALw_wcB

[Jim and Dan]

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I’ve suffered from periods of depression since I was really young, and I got a call from the doctors about a month ago telling me my prescription for anti depressants has been stopped because they don’t want anyone to stay on them for multiple years and become dependant which seems fucking ridiculous to me but whatever. So now I’m back on no meds and I’m finding it really hard to cope with day to day life. I’ve always smoked a lot of weed but since they cut the meds I’ve been finding it borderline unbearable to be sober. I have a girlfriend who I love and a job that’s broadly in the skate industry which I know I should be happy with but I can’t help but be miserable most of the time. I’m hardly even skating at the moment because I can’t find motivation to get out the house. Sorry for the long rant but If anyone else who’s experienced depression can give me some advice I would appreciate it a lot.

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first of all, this sucks and i'm sorry. i totally understand where you are coming from. i was in a similar situation to you about a decade back. i still have depressive periods, but they are not that bad anymore, definitely copable.

this may sound obvious and stupid, but i think it would help if you tried to figure out if you are actually happy working in skateboarding. maybe you'd rather skate and not deal with it on a business level. or maybe you feel lucky you work in skating, but actually that was never your goal. maybe there is or was something else you wanted to pursue and it got buried beneath depression and work and what not. maybe you want to do your current job outside of skateboarding, or maybe it would be good if you stayed in the industry, but could switch the actual work/jobs.

on the one hand, i want to suggest you stop smoking for a bit, even if it sucks, to totally clear out your head, but if it means you get more depressed, that might not be a good idea. it's important you allow yourself some comfort. ultimately i think people that are sick of weed usually have little problems stopping.

when it comes to skating, what helped me was just going out alone, setting very basic goals for myself. basically being alone with my skateboard and taking out the social aspect. it reaffirmed that i love skating, but not necessarily the whole social stuff around it. going skating for skateboardings sake basically.

not sure if any of this hits any mark for you, but these are just some suggestions to find some ease. ultimately i would recommend seeing a therapist you vibe with regularily if that is possible for you. other than that, introspection in search of what is really bothering you is good. try to identify those bothersome things you might have complied with too much all of the time and don't comply anymore for a start.

it's not easy, you don't have to try all this at the same time. but you have options. don't be scared and don't give up

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Thank you so much for taking the time to respond man, it feels good to get stuff off my chest a bit, as much as I do love my friends I feel like I can’t really talk to them about shit like this. I think you’re probably right about the job stuff, I’m 20 and I just kind of fell into the job from knowing people in the scene and I never put much thought into if it’s really what I want to do. The problem I have is I left school with fuck all qualifications and my only experience outside of my current job is shitty call centre and bar work, so I feel kind of trapped in my job in the sense that I don’t think I could get anything better. I’m really regretting some of the life choices I made when I was younger (mainly dropping out of education), and that’s another thing that’s been getting me down a lot. I think what I’m gonna do is see if I can get therapy on the NHS, and try and get skating on my own at night after work maybe. Thanks again for the advice, it genuinely means a lot.

I'm sorry to hear about the tough times you've been facing and can certainly relate. I've experienced long bouts of depression since the age of like 11, ever since I hit puberty and things with my mother went sour. I'm 34 now, a drug addict in recovery coming up on 5 years and still experience fits of depression, but like Frank said they've become more manageable. I've found that the biggest change in coping with my depression has been shifting my paradigm (basically CBT) and changing the way that I view and react to circumstances outside of my control. Try to identify the things that weigh heavy on you and truly analyze the how's and why's of how those things affect you, ultimately trying to reframe them from negatives into either neutral acceptance or possibly even a positive. I find that it can be difficult to relate how much that has changed my life to others, but I find it as an attempt to simplify the circumstances around me, albeit difficult at times due to the mental gymnastics and overthinking that has plagued me for a long time. We live in a harsh world and it seems like society is trying to shelter everyone from that reality and when one finally sees how brutal our respective societies can be, it becomes overwhelming. I also agree with Frank about either reducing the amount or completely quitting smoking weed. I was of the ilk that I would NEVER stop smoking weed, smoking all day, everyday and convincing myself that it was perfectly fine and normal. There were times I couldn't function without it and would go to great lengths to always have it with me wherever I went, finding it unbearable when I didn't have it. Once I stopped, that's when the real changes in my life started happening and I could start to face what was keeping me in the cycle of constant escapism. If you can and have the ability, try and find a reliable therapist that you really connect with and be as honest as you can. It can be tough to find a therapist that you can forge a professional relationship with, I probably went through 15 therapists in 10 years, everything from therapists in active addiction to medical school interns (I think I scared her a bit) to therapists that you could just tell were so burned out and didn't give a shit. I've had the same therapist now for coming up on 6 years and she has been a wonderful asset to my life and helped me work through serious issues in my life. I wish nothing but the best for you and if you ever need anything, send me a PM.

[in love w/ fs shuvs]

I just wanted to share that i have been going through a rough patch for quite some time now and am currently taking on some philosophical/spiritual work so to speak.

Best of luck to everyone on this journey that we call life!

[IJC]

I am going through the end of my marriage. I feel lost and don’t know what to do. I don’t feel loved anymore, she has a new job a couple of years ago and everything changed. Me and our family don’t seem to be her priority anymore. Hanging out with people from work is more important. Also her childhood traumas makes it difficult to conect in a deeper level. All that is draining anything good from me, i always considered myself a confident and Easygoing guy, but know i Can even recognize myself. I believe i lost my self trying to hard to adapt to this lack of attention and love.
I needed to get that out of my chest.

[Frank]

I am going through the end of my marriage. I feel lost and don’t know what to do. I don’t feel loved anymore, she has a new job a couple of years ago and everything changed. Me and our family don’t seem to be her priority anymore. Hanging out with people from work is more important. Also her childhood traumas makes it difficult to conect in a deeper level. All that is draining anything good from me, i always considered myself a confident and Easygoing guy, but know i Can even recognize myself. I believe i lost my self trying to hard to adapt to this lack of attention and love.
I needed to get that out of my chest.

yeah sounds like a good idea to get out of that marriage if you've been feeling that way for a very long time. i was never married, nor had kids, so no idea if that might complicate things more, but regardless, you have to look out for yourself. imo it's better to call it quits and find happiness with someone else than to drag out a loveless relationship. my parents never loved each other, always argued and fighted, but never seperated, which made mine and my brothers childhoods constantly revolve around their beef and it was the worst thing that could happen to our family as we would all become mentally ill from this in our teenage years. so even if you have a kid, if you think the relationship is unfixable, a peaceful seperation might be healthier for the kid(s) in the long run than to stay together for them. i only say this because i know a few cases where kids were the sole reason parents weren't seperated and pretty much no child comes out unscathed from under a toxic or loveless relationship. it's better to have one happy parent than two depressed parents who fight each other. i wished so much my mom would have seperated when she could, i was practically begging her to leave my dad for her and our sake. and also the kids always know whatsup. you can't play it fine in front of them. they might not say something, but kids always know the vibes.

anyways, good luck for your future.