real confessions

[beatifk]

It's maybe sad and nerdy, but I've always found some sort of perfect "friendship" situation from web forums...

I used to be very involved in a couple niche video game boards, then later in some clothing forums, now I'm mostly on slap.

1. You're never waiting around for people to show up at the bar or whatever, which is something I HATE about hanging out with people in real life. WAITING is my least favorite thing. When we said we'll meet at 8 and you show up at 8:30 or 9 I'm already pissed. That's 30mins to 1 hour of my life I will never get back. It's impossible to earn time in life.

2. Everyone has at least one common interest. I have friends who I like as people but we don't have a lot in common in the way of hobbies. Like I have a good friend whose only hobby is UFC fighting and competitive fighting in general. I really have no interest in that. So when we hang out we talk about work or other bullshit and we try to be interested in each other's shit, but it's sometimes a stretch.

3. People who share one interest generally overlap other similar interests. A venn diagram of slap might have circles for skateboarding, metal, punk, rap, football, baseball, snowboarding, cycling, gym, food, etc. It's pretty dope that we can all communicate about skating, but then smaller groups can break off from the group and talk about their more niche interests.

It's like you pool all the people all over the world who have the same interests and put them all in one place, it's pretty rad. Not something that's really possible in real life because plane tickets and hotels and all those things are expensive.

It's true we're all idiots because riding a skateboard is a fucking idiotic activity, but it's pretty fun, so shalom to you all.

[JohnnySaintLethal]

Real confession I’m pretty fuckin down in the dumps

[GumOnMyGrip]

Real confession I’m pretty fuckin down in the dumps

Nothing is constant but change. Won't be forever and reach out if you need to talk.
I've been there.
Remember that how you feel and who you are don't equal the same thing.
 You can feel like shit but that isn't what defines you as a person. Emotions are temporary.
Make your world small and take it one step, one activity at a time.
Everyone is capable of moving forward.

[mynameisnotjeff]

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Real confession I’m pretty fuckin down in the dumps

[close]

Nothing is constant but change. Won't be forever and reach out if you need to talk.
I've been there.
Remember that how you feel and who you are don't equal the same thing.
 You can feel like shit but that isn't what defines you as a person. Emotions are temporary.
Make your world small and take it one step, one activity at a time.
Everyone is capable of moving forward.

Beat me to it but, as toxic as Slap can get it can be safe and supportive space. While it may not be the same relief as speaking in person, going to the keyboard and typing things out is a good way to start.

You are loved whether it is clear to you or not.

[Francis Xavier]

I really want some potato balls and cheese danishes from Porto's now. Thanks alot. Everything goes there,can't pick a bad dish. I hit the Buena Park one by Knotts Berry Farm because my OC ass isn't driving to LA

[doublesteveburger]

My girlfriends dog sucks.

[mynameisnotjeff]

I really want some potato balls and cheese danishes from Porto's now. Thanks alot. Everything goes there,can't pick a bad dish. I hit the Buena Park one by Knotts Berry Farm because my OC ass isn't driving to LA

Is this when we plan a SoCal Slap Pal date to Knotts and all get Porto's together?

[JohnnySaintLethal]

Thanks buddios, I’ve just been hit with a brick work is fucking me up. And a girl I was dating broke up with me over anxiety. I’m thinking about trying to talk about it in person with her. But I can’t wait around. It’s a big bummer because I hate the cliche live at first sight thing but myself and my friends were all like yeah this is totally “you” I’m sad and drunk

[mynameisnotjeff]

Thanks buddios, I’ve just been hit with a brick work is fucking me up. And a girl I was dating broke up with me over anxiety. I’m thinking about trying to talk about it in person with her. But I can’t wait around. It’s a big bummer because I hate the cliche live at first sight thing but myself and my friends were all like yeah this is totally “you” I’m sad and drunk

Just let it out friend.
That being said, if it's meant to be it will work out. Some people are for a season and others for life. It's her loss and after a while you'll find someone new and it will work better.

[rocklobster]

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Thanks buddios, I’ve just been hit with a brick work is fucking me up. And a girl I was dating broke up with me over anxiety. I’m thinking about trying to talk about it in person with her. But I can’t wait around. It’s a big bummer because I hate the cliche live at first sight thing but myself and my friends were all like yeah this is totally “you” I’m sad and drunk

[close]

Just let it out friend.
That being said, if it's meant to be it will work out. Some people are for a season and others for life. It's her loss and after a while you'll find someone new and it will work better.

Break ups are shit no way around them and the agony you feel can be on par with physical pain. Unfortunately it's one of those experiences you just have to ride out like a bad hangover. Keep your friends close and you schedule busy. Don't do hasty stuff like drunk texting and go cold turkey on her social media, the last thing you need is a reminder of her. Everybody you date is there to teach you something about yourself, use the time to reflect on who you are in a relationship and what you want out of a partner.

Shalom brother.

[50mm]

Break ups a hard no matter if the chick sucked or not. Especially long term relationships. But it passes eventually and then you move on. My last breakup was the hardest thing I’ve had to do because I had to move with my dad, change job locations to another city and learn how to be happy alone for a while.

But then I met my girl and she is the shit. And made me realize you can move on and sometimes it’s much better to do so.

[L33Tg33k]

Not feeling too hot guys. The situation my exroommate put me in might blow up soon. If that fool doesn't come up with rent money I'm going to be evicted. And I'm not getting much replies to my ads for the room I'm trying to fill. This shit is real sucky. Add that to general sense of loneliness and im nearly about to crack. Why does every song have to be a goddamn love song? And why does every show I watch focus heavily on romantic relationships? There's gotta be media that reflects my experience. Well there's Morrissey I guess.

[Scott Chegg]

Not too happy with myself, Im addicted to cigs and might have a problem with weed. I got expelled from school before christmas break for cutting class to smoke weed, it got to a point were I was going to 50% of my lessons or less. I also got suspended from my new school 3 weeks after joining and am pretty close to getting expelled from it, so yeah Im starting to think Im a fuck up. I dont rly mind being addicted to cigs since it doesnt rly get me in trouble and my parents just accept it, but weed keeps getting me in trouble but when I dont smoke everything is incredibly dull. Sucks that weed is perceived so negatively by society.

[lady fanny]

Not too happy with myself, Im addicted to cigs and might have a problem with weed. I got expelled from school before christmas break for cutting class to smoke weed, it got to a point were I was going to 50% of my lessons or less. I also got suspended from my new school 3 weeks after joining and am pretty close to getting expelled from it, so yeah Im starting to think Im a fuck up. I dont rly mind being addicted to cigs since it doesnt rly get me in trouble and my parents just accept it, but weed keeps getting me in trouble but when I dont smoke everything is incredibly dull. Sucks that weed is perceived so negatively by society.

yuo're killing your brain cells, bigalo!

[ClownOfTheDay]

Not feeling too hot guys. The situation my exroommate put me in might blow up soon. If that fool doesn't come up with rent money I'm going to be evicted. And I'm not getting much replies to my ads for the room I'm trying to fill. This shit is real sucky. Add that to general sense of loneliness and im nearly about to crack. Why does every song have to be a goddamn love song? And why does every show I watch focus heavily on romantic relationships? There's gotta be media that reflects my experience. Well there's Morrissey I guess.

Keep your head up L33t. If you lived close by I'd offer you my couch but that's taken over by the cat.

Thought about killing myself last night. What's the point of all this menial bullshit.

[os89]

Not too happy with myself, Im addicted to cigs and might have a problem with weed. I got expelled from school before christmas break for cutting class to smoke weed, it got to a point were I was going to 50% of my lessons or less. I also got suspended from my new school 3 weeks after joining and am pretty close to getting expelled from it, so yeah Im starting to think Im a fuck up. I dont rly mind being addicted to cigs since it doesnt rly get me in trouble and my parents just accept it, but weed keeps getting me in trouble but when I dont smoke everything is incredibly dull. Sucks that weed is perceived so negatively by society.

Dude you skipped school to smoke weed... No one forced you to do that. You are the reason it's perceived negatively. I smoked everyday of highschool but I still showed up. Never got expelled either. Get your shit together young blood. Knock of the cigs while it's early.

[smellsdead]

i went to school high

not high school

[Skart]

Cool because they need your money

Tattoos are wack, focus on your job

[ClownOfTheDay]

Can anyone of you help a pal out? The past couple days all I can think about is killing myself. I just feel weak all the time. I feel like I'd honestly rather be dead. I go to sleep at night wishing that this was my last night on earth. I keep losing friends, everyone in my family keeps dying and the stress is surreal. No one seems to understand me so what's the point. I've been thinking about writing a suicide note just in case. I guess that's fucked but I can't seem to get out of these feelings. The pharmacies won't give me the meds I need. Doctor's don't listen. I really don't know what to do. Ever since my dad died I just wish I was with him.

[JB]

Can anyone of you help a pal out? The past couple days all I can think about is killing myself. I just feel weak all the time. I feel like I'd honestly rather be dead. I go to sleep at night wishing that this was my last night on earth. I keep losing friends, everyone in my family keeps dying and the stress is surreal. No one seems to understand me so what's the point. I've been thinking about writing a suicide note just in case. I guess that's fucked but I can't seem to get out of these feelings. The pharmacies won't give me the meds I need. Doctor's don't listen. I really don't know what to do. Ever since my dad died I just wish I was with him.

Different doctors or different therapists are what you need. There are people out there who will listen to you, but you have to find them.

Also, how old are you? My perception is that you're early to mid 20's, and for me that was a very big transitional part of my life. You're not a kid anymore, but you lack the experiences of a mature adult and it's difficult to make that change. I lost contact with a lot of my friends at this time and I felt terrible for letting those relationships burn out. I also started to compare my successes with those of my friends and peers, and that always brought me down because I didn't feel like I was killing it like they were. Comparison is the thief of joy and I've had to learn to let those things go and learn to except my life and the things I can't control, and be mindful of those things that I can.

The death aspect is something I don't have the most experience with. The only person who's death had a large impact on my life was my younger brother's, and that took me quite a while to deal with and move past. I did therapy and that helped, but really just time has reduced that pain and I know and have accepted that it will never fully go away. My wife lost her father when she was 21, before her and I met, and while it doesn't impact her on a day to day basis, I've seen her completely break down at times over his memory. It's normal. Death and the pain it brings are an unescapable part of life. Give yourself time.

And I don't know if this will help you at all, but I really like the videos on this channel. This one particularly deals a bit with suicide and the mundane aspects of life, but there are loads of good ones spanning a range of topics, mostly about life and how to make it more bearable.

 

[ClownOfTheDay]

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Can anyone of you help a pal out? The past couple days all I can think about is killing myself. I just feel weak all the time. I feel like I'd honestly rather be dead. I go to sleep at night wishing that this was my last night on earth. I keep losing friends, everyone in my family keeps dying and the stress is surreal. No one seems to understand me so what's the point. I've been thinking about writing a suicide note just in case. I guess that's fucked but I can't seem to get out of these feelings. The pharmacies won't give me the meds I need. Doctor's don't listen. I really don't know what to do. Ever since my dad died I just wish I was with him.

[close]

Different doctors or different therapists are what you need. There are people out there who will listen to you, but you have to find them.

Also, how old are you? My perception is that you're early to mid 20's, and for me that was a very big transitional part of my life. You're not a kid anymore, but you lack the experiences of a mature adult and it's difficult to make that change. I lost contact with a lot of my friends at this time and I felt terrible for letting those relationships burn out. I also started to compare my successes with those of my friends and peers, and that always brought me down because I didn't feel like I was killing it like they were. Comparison is the thief of joy and I've had to learn to let those things go and learn to except my life and the things I can't control, and be mindful of those things that I can.

The death aspect is something I don't have the most experience with. The only person who's death had a large impact on my life was my younger brother's, and that took me quite a while to deal with and move past. I did therapy and that helped, but really just time has reduced that pain and I know and have accepted that it will never fully go away. My wife lost her father when she was 21, before her and I met, and while it doesn't impact her on a day to day basis, I've seen her completely break down at times over his memory. It's normal. Death and the pain it brings are an unescapable part of life. Give yourself time.

And I don't know if this will help you at all, but I really like the videos on this channel. This one particularly deals a bit with suicide and the mundane aspects of life, but there are loads of good ones spanning a range of topics, mostly about life and how to make it more bearable.


[/quote Yeah I am in my early 20's. I haven't had many mature people in my life. I would say I am mature.

[rocklobster]

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Expand Quote

Can anyone of you help a pal out? The past couple days all I can think about is killing myself. I just feel weak all the time. I feel like I'd honestly rather be dead. I go to sleep at night wishing that this was my last night on earth. I keep losing friends, everyone in my family keeps dying and the stress is surreal. No one seems to understand me so what's the point. I've been thinking about writing a suicide note just in case. I guess that's fucked but I can't seem to get out of these feelings. The pharmacies won't give me the meds I need. Doctor's don't listen. I really don't know what to do. Ever since my dad died I just wish I was with him.

[close]

Different doctors or different therapists are what you need. There are people out there who will listen to you, but you have to find them.

Also, how old are you? My perception is that you're early to mid 20's, and for me that was a very big transitional part of my life. You're not a kid anymore, but you lack the experiences of a mature adult and it's difficult to make that change. I lost contact with a lot of my friends at this time and I felt terrible for letting those relationships burn out. I also started to compare my successes with those of my friends and peers, and that always brought me down because I didn't feel like I was killing it like they were. Comparison is the thief of joy and I've had to learn to let those things go and learn to except my life and the things I can't control, and be mindful of those things that I can.

The death aspect is something I don't have the most experience with. The only person who's death had a large impact on my life was my younger brother's, and that took me quite a while to deal with and move past. I did therapy and that helped, but really just time has reduced that pain and I know and have accepted that it will never fully go away. My wife lost her father when she was 21, before her and I met, and while it doesn't impact her on a day to day basis, I've seen her completely break down at times over his memory. It's normal. Death and the pain it brings are an unescapable part of life. Give yourself time.

And I don't know if this will help you at all, but I really like the videos on this channel. This one particularly deals a bit with suicide and the mundane aspects of life, but there are loads of good ones spanning a range of topics, mostly about life and how to make it more bearable.


[/quote Yeah I am in my early 20's. I haven't had many mature people in my life. I would say I am mature.

[close]

I am not a psychologist but I'll admit I've had suicidal thoughts enter my mind in the recent past. I think having these thoughts at a younger age (for me was in my early teens) that make you more susceptible them in the future. Never really gave it much thought: if I die, I die. Nothing would matter anymore and I would finally be at peace.

The turning point for me came when my best friend confided in me he had similar thoughts too, which I found strange since he always looked like he had it together, namely in his career. That said it would crush me to find out if he killed himself and I didn't do enough as a friend to save him. And it made me think about how crushing it would be for my friends and family to have to live through such a traumatic ordeal.
I've always seen myself as a generous person, I would gladly sacrifice my own well-being if it meant someone suffered a little less. It made me realize how selfish suicide would be; kind of everything I stand against.

I'm not sure if you have any close friends or family, but I would look to them and talk though these feelings. I think as men (sorry if I'm assuming) we tend to be shut off our feelings. Having the talk with my best friend gave me the perspective I needed to put those thoughts on hold (for now). With therapist, I think their objective (whether they acknowledge it or not) seem to be to "fix" you. These thoughts can't be fixed, you need to face them every regularly, some days more some days less, and choose which your path you want your existence to be remembered by.

I know what it's like losing a dad, lost mine when I was 11 and despite being 20+ years ago, the memory of him still tugs at my heart from time to time. He was a great provider, not so great husband and wife. Still, I would rather have had him in my life than not.

Shalom my friend.

(sorry if this sounds pseudo-intellectual, been working on a powerpoint presentation for 3 hours and just chugged a tall boy)

[ClownOfTheDay]

it's quite alright. I wish I could have a beer atm. But I am in the job.

[silhouette]

Can anyone of you help a pal out? The past couple days all I can think about is killing myself. I just feel weak all the time. I feel like I'd honestly rather be dead. I go to sleep at night wishing that this was my last night on earth. I keep losing friends, everyone in my family keeps dying and the stress is surreal. No one seems to understand me so what's the point. I've been thinking about writing a suicide note just in case. I guess that's fucked but I can't seem to get out of these feelings. The pharmacies won't give me the meds I need. Doctor's don't listen. I really don't know what to do. Ever since my dad died I just wish I was with him.

Those thoughts are your brain telling you that you need to rest, not die. You mentioned your dad, I'm sure that regardless of the person he might have been (with all due respect either way - admittedly I haven't kept up with the entirety of your story), he would have liked you to live a long life full of experiences, and I'm sure that's what would wish all your close ones to you too. You sound like you're just being overwhelmed by bullshit and sometimes life be like that, but if you're strong enough to pull through (which I have no doubt you are) you'll come out even stronger and with plenty to reflect upon, and just as many reasons to appreciate life for what it really is as opposed to illusions you may be projecting over it. A lot in existence sucks ass, but you stop feeling it once you start grasping everything for what it really is and embracing it as part of what keeps the good stuff running. I think you're lacking clarity and hindsight due to having your nose constantly shoved into shit by the odds, sometimes when that happens it's easy to feel alienated and trapped and forget that life is what you make it, and that you're essentially free to make it what you want (unless you're subconsciously scared of that possibility, which is something you can work on and tame). I'm aware that sometimes escaping isn't practically easy but you obviously just need a break from the noise to focus on your natural person again. Do you still skate? Maybe at least for the temporary lack of something more drastic, skateboarding could be that escape at least mentally (which may be all it comes down to).

[Saint Coke]

Thanks for your replies guys, I feel better. I went out skating today and feel a tad bit better. I guess I just need to appreciate the small things more often.

[L33Tg33k]

Clown, I'm not going to bullshit you. You and I both know life is a struggle then you die. All I can say is it is in your best interest to be social and find people that you like to be around because that will take your focus off your suicidal ideation and onto participating in life in the present. Distraction is the name of the game. It's way easier said than done, obviously. Also buy some shrooms if you can. Psilocybin is the one thing I know for sure helps. Try not to give yourself too much time to think. Introspection is short walk to self loathing. Play a video game, binge a show, read a book, fucking anything to keep your focus off your ideation. People care about you, even if they're all faceless cyber friends. I'm sure I'd be fucked up for a minute if you offed yourself and I trust people feel the same about me. I don't know if that's enough to keep on keeping on, but it is certainly better than nothing. People care about you.

[rocklobster]

Clown, I'm not going to bullshit you. You and I both know life is a struggle then you die. All I can say is it is in your best interest to be social and find people that you like to be around because that will take your focus off your suicidal ideation and onto participating in life in the present. Distraction is the name of the game. It's way easier said than done, obviously. Also buy some shrooms if you can. Psilocybin is the one thing I know for sure helps. Try not to give yourself too much time to think. Introspection is short walk to self loathing. Play a video game, binge a show, read a book, fucking anything to keep your focus off your ideation. People care about you, even if they're all faceless cyber friends. I'm sure I'd be fucked up for a minute if you offed yourself and I trust people feel the same about me. I don't know if that's enough to keep on keeping on, but it is certainly better than nothing. People care about you.

Beautiful champ.

[blurst_of_times]

Clown, I'm not going to bullshit you. You and I both know life is a struggle then you die. All I can say is it is in your best interest to be social and find people that you like to be around because that will take your focus off your suicidal ideation and onto participating in life in the present. Distraction is the name of the game. It's way easier said than done, obviously. Also buy some shrooms if you can. Psilocybin is the one thing I know for sure helps. Try not to give yourself too much time to think. Introspection is short walk to self loathing. Play a video game, binge a show, read a book, fucking anything to keep your focus off your ideation. People care about you, even if they're all faceless cyber friends. I'm sure I'd be fucked up for a minute if you offed yourself and I trust people feel the same about me. I don't know if that's enough to keep on keeping on, but it is certainly better than nothing. People care about you.

This. I check this thread daily to see how y'all are doing. Typing a word vomit onto an online forum about mental health struggles still counts as reaching out.

[ClownOfTheDay]

Clown, I'm not going to bullshit you. You and I both know life is a struggle then you die. All I can say is it is in your best interest to be social and find people that you like to be around because that will take your focus off your suicidal ideation and onto participating in life in the present. Distraction is the name of the game. It's way easier said than done, obviously. Also buy some shrooms if you can. Psilocybin is the one thing I know for sure helps. Try not to give yourself too much time to think. Introspection is short walk to self loathing. Play a video game, binge a show, read a book, fucking anything to keep your focus off your ideation. People care about you, even if they're all faceless cyber friends. I'm sure I'd be fucked up for a minute if you offed yourself and I trust people feel the same about me. I don't know if that's enough to keep on keeping on, but it is certainly better than nothing. People care about you.

I love you l33t! thanks a lot. As for the shrooms, my psychedelic days are over, I used to take LSD.

[Seventyfrigginseven]

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Clown, I'm not going to bullshit you. You and I both know life is a struggle then you die. All I can say is it is in your best interest to be social and find people that you like to be around because that will take your focus off your suicidal ideation and onto participating in life in the present. Distraction is the name of the game. It's way easier said than done, obviously. Also buy some shrooms if you can. Psilocybin is the one thing I know for sure helps. Try not to give yourself too much time to think. Introspection is short walk to self loathing. Play a video game, binge a show, read a book, fucking anything to keep your focus off your ideation. People care about you, even if they're all faceless cyber friends. I'm sure I'd be fucked up for a minute if you offed yourself and I trust people feel the same about me. I don't know if that's enough to keep on keeping on, but it is certainly better than nothing. People care about you.

[close]

I love you l33t! thanks a lot. As for the shrooms, my psychedelic days are over, I used to take LSD.

I hope you are doing better man. I'm very new here but I am sure I speak for most when I say come on here and blow it up before you make any bad decisions.. Try and have a good day man and skate as much as possible. Peace, Mat