real confessions

[Mongoloid]

10 mins later she is doing exactly that, things are going very well, until i have a mouthful of her tit, and she goes "oooooh you like sucking on mommys tits? yeah? feeding my baby milk, my baby boy, sucking on my tits, don't tell daddy, yeah you like being fed baby"?.

That bitch is insane.

That would have had me cracking up.

[lazer69]

 

why doesnt anything like this happen to me

[BieberStance]

why doesnt anything like this happen to me

you probably don't own a house with a garden

[Dr-Feelgood]

god damnit, i typed a huge response, and it got wiped, so gonna do a shorter version

basically this 40 year old came over looking for her parrot who she had seen land on my roof, she comes over, i invite her in, and we go stand in the backyard for a little bit looking for this bird,  we must've looked in the sky for 15 mins (i had no idea what i was looking for), she leaves.

the next day i have a note in my mail box, with her number saying if i see anything to send her a text, the next morning i send her a text saying i have not seen it, but i hope she finds it. she texts back, and we get more and more off topic, she tells me she is watching the tv show weeds, and i let her know mary-louise parker is my dream women, she asks me if i prefer older women, and i say yes, she just gets straight to the chase and says she wants to sit on my face, 10 mins later she is doing exactly that, things are going very well, until i have a mouthful of her tit, and she goes "oooooh you like sucking on mommys tits? yeah? feeding my baby milk, my baby boy, sucking on my tits, don't tell daddy, yeah you like being fed baby"?. i just went with it, that was her thing i guess, i didn't verbally confirm with her i liked it, i just kind made a muffled noise while she was 'feeding' me. we fuck twice, i creampie her because "she needs it to survive as the world is going to end tomorrow"', and i never hear from her again. sent her a couple of texts, but no response. i moved places 8 months later.

[Freelancevagrant]

I’m just gonna say it, I don’t think she had a parrot.

[VHS ERA]

lmao

[pugmaster]

I’m just gonna say it, I don’t think she had a parrot.

100% sure it was code.  Sounded like a different version of "borrow a cup of sugar" but somewhat more sophisticated as she used that excuse to enter your domicile.  She was definitely casing the joint.

Post-covid there are going to be so many new divorcees... it is inevitable that late 2021 and 2022 is going to be a total fuck fest.  They're going to have a covid type tracker but for STDs.

[Acky Jacky]

Rant:

my roomate in the room next to mine, been coughing for 5 days straight. On Sunday tells me "oh man my allergies are acting up"  .... I spend as little time at home as possible bc 1.) i like to make money 2.) he is noisy af and makes my mental state deteriorate, 3) I like being outside hiking/skating.

This guy tells me multiple time to be careful, in regards to covid. Months ago after I come home from a hike seems upset at me and says "man, theres people dying out there!". I hear him telling a friend that he invited over to our house, if someone here gets covid everybody in this house is dead. He's a "IF ONLY PEOPLE WOULD WEAR THEIR MASKS person. Guy went to a friends giving

Sure enough today says hes got the rona. I started feeling kinda shitty yesterday. After finally saying today that he got positive results, he basically says if I can afford it I should go somewhere to self quarantine (hotel). I would've willingly got a hotel room. I say "little too late for that.." Implying most likely already contracted it. Not sure he understands..  Dudes been coughing  nonstop for nearly a week, doesnt even wash his hands after using the bathroom.

 Does he really think he warned me and is being helpful now? Maybe because im not coughing like him... Hes generally unhealthy, and im the opposite..I think theres no chance I didnt get it from him at this point.


I got a robust immune system, im fit, 29, I'm not worried about myself. you know what? Im pissed rignt off! IOn the real, I am annoyed though. Guys a hypocrite, gotta listen to him cough, and multiple other loud irritating noises, (many of which are unnecessary) and now have attempt to modify my flight plans for a 2nd time or likely have to cancel & waste more money because I had plans to visits parents on the 21st of this month for a few weeks (who already recovered from the virus). I Cant work now either.

Bro I want to punch this guy through my phone. There are so many weird covid hypocrites out there like him, too. I really don’t understand it. Like people who wear their mask when there isn’t another soul around for a mile but then do strange shit like attend a party or pull down their mask to cough on the bus.

I scored very high on all my standardized testing in elementary and high school but nearly flunked out. It makes me think, if I’m in the 90th percentile for reading comprehension, are these people the ones who got straight A’s but ended up testing low on the tests?

I’m not trying to bolster myself here, just making a terrible analogy. I hope your roommate receives his due karma and I hope that you get to hug your parents soon. I hope I get to see my parents sometime in 2021 too. 

[iKobrakai]

I got a semi reading that story... while waiting for the train...

[HyenaChaser]

Time to start going around the neighborhood telling women I “found their parrot”

[looks ok to me]

I can name everybody in ok boomers current sig including the male talent

[rawr1922]

I can name everybody in ok boomers current sig including the male talent

 
Go on...

[blurst_of_times]

Expand Quote

I can name everybody in ok boomers current sig including the male talent

[close]

 
Go on...

No male talent in that scene

[looks ok to me]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

I can name everybody in ok boomers current sig including the male talent

[close]

 
Go on...

[close]

No male talent in that scene

Alas a classic case of selling the bear’s skin before having killed it. I reviewed my notes and appear to have been mistaken

Now to fade into the shadows in shame

[Grind King Rims]

I think crook back lips are cool. I'm willing to die on this hill.

[blurst_of_times]

I think crook back lips are cool. I'm willing to die on this hill.

I like how Bastien did/does them

[Billy Bitchcakes]

I know all the words to 30 thousand 100 million by J Casanova

[Filip]

I know all the words to 30 thousand 100 million by J Casanova

Swag.


You are not alone my friend, I heard that shit way too many times.

[DaleSr]

I grew up in the church, and to my everloving shame, when i was 17 i went on a missionary trip to bring lame American evangelical protestantism to Ireland. To my credit though, my church was putting on a skate contest at the skatepark in Cork and that was my main focus. Our youth pastor even pulled me aside to confront me about how he was worried "my heart wasn't really in it". He was right, i didn't give a fuck about telling people about Jesus, i just wanted to skate.

[Grind King Rims]

I grew up in the church, and to my everloving shame, when i was 17 i went on a missionary trip to bring lame American evangelical protestantism to Ireland. To my credit though, my church was putting on a skate contest at the skatepark in Cork and that was my main focus. Our youth pastor even pulled me aside to confront me about how he was worried "my heart wasn't really in it". He was right, i didn't give a fuck about telling people about Jesus, i just wanted to skate.

Mardyke skate park rules. Bringing Evangelical Protestantism to Cork, maybe not the best raddest idea.

Hope you had a good time.

[DaleSr]

Expand Quote

I grew up in the church, and to my everloving shame, when i was 17 i went on a missionary trip to bring lame American evangelical protestantism to Ireland. To my credit though, my church was putting on a skate contest at the skatepark in Cork and that was my main focus. Our youth pastor even pulled me aside to confront me about how he was worried "my heart wasn't really in it". He was right, i didn't give a fuck about telling people about Jesus, i just wanted to skate.

[close]

Mardyke skate park rules. Bringing Evangelical Protestantism to Cork, maybe not the best raddest idea.

Hope you had a good time.

Mardyke is a rad park, I've been daydreaming about it ever since i left. In my defense, my Christian school/church told us that the world was fucking 6,000 years old so the troubles weren't the only section of history that they skipped over

[shpongle]

i love lsd and psilocybin it changed my life for the better. i have a job now, a girlfriend, i workout all the time now. i used to have suicidal depression before taking psychedelics to help heal myself. legalize the powerful medicines! or dont, and take them illegally! use them wisely, they are so powerful! amazing tools to transform your mind and heart

[Uh Oh]

i love lsd and psilocybin it changed my life for the better. i have a job now, a girlfriend, i workout all the time now. i used to have suicidal depression before taking psychedelics to help heal myself. legalize the powerful medicines! or dont, and take them illegally! use them wisely, they are so powerful! amazing tools to transform your mind and heart

Username checks out. Glad you are on a better path, shpongle.

[looks ok to me]

Expand Quote

i love lsd and psilocybin it changed my life for the better. i have a job now, a girlfriend, i workout all the time now. i used to have suicidal depression before taking psychedelics to help heal myself. legalize the powerful medicines! or dont, and take them illegally! use them wisely, they are so powerful! amazing tools to transform your mind and heart

[close]

Username checks out. Glad you are on a better path, shpongle.

I urge anyone having fears/doubts about psychs to find a nice safe space and drop in. Good trusted company is cool but totally optional. No such thing as a good or bad trip, you get what you need

[BieberStance]

i love lsd and psilocybin it changed my life for the better. i have a job now, a girlfriend, i workout all the time now. i used to have suicidal depression before taking psychedelics to help heal myself. legalize the powerful medicines! or dont, and take them illegally! use them wisely, they are so powerful! amazing tools to transform your mind and heart

can you elaborate what happened to you, how you approached your problems on the trip and what exactly changed and what keeps you motivated in this changes on the long term?

[fulltechnicalskizzy]

i wish it was socially acceptable to have the guy at the shop grip and set up my board. i am 30

[Banned from the room]

I would publicly humiliate myself (on a grander scale than the daily lol) for a few sheets of Shake Hunt magic carpet.

Idc how it skates or how hated it is. I want to put like a 60 hr highly detailed design on it.

I bet if I had allowed my self to get famous like my homies and former homies I could score some somehow. I can't believe that it's discontinued.

Not like I could afford it if it was still available.

Another confession I'm a Shane Hale fan. He remembers Zimbabwe. Few do.

For a few months Zimbabwe made the best Skateboard Wheel. It was hard to score a all white wheel at Something Else at the time.

[Banned from the room]

Expand Quote

i wish it was socially acceptable to have the guy at the shop grip and set up my board. i am 30

[close]

waaiiit. it's not acceptable to have the dude grip my deck? damn.

I feel it's cool. I just prefer to do it myself.

I have a ritual. I don't use razor blades. I use a file or piece of metal sometimes my truck.

I push my pain and hate into it.

[SneakySecrets]

I used the the reflection in a french door to sporadically cheat at Battleship, Guess Who?, go fish and Uno between the years 1994-2001.  I was never detected.

I’ve also never not cheated at a game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey. 

Also, I’m attracted to Ezra McCandless. 

Her cross-examination form.  Not her sentencing form.

[GardenSkater77]

Also, I’m attracted to Ezra McCandless. 

Her cross-examination form.  Not her sentencing form.

I’d like to Ezra Pound her if you get my drift.