Author Topic: real confessions  (Read 1734625 times)

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Peter Zagreus

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9900 on: December 18, 2020, 05:45:13 PM »
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i creampied a married women who lived 8 houses down about 6 years ago after she knocked on my door looking for her missing parrot
[close]

What happened afterwards?

Was it just like “well, it appears you’ll never find that parrot, but enjoy the leaky taco!”

Did you wish her luck? We need a follow up.

And more importantly, what happened between the moment you opened the door - "Hello, have you seen my parrot?" - and the pie?

Mongoloid

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9901 on: December 18, 2020, 05:48:45 PM »
I was recently talking to a girl.... I think actual Spaniard Spanish, and she was telling me she’s never been creampied, and maybe for the first time ever I really thought about how there’s a ton of women out there without BC. I guess I never paid the act that much mind, because I’ve never had one night stands, or one off fucks, but a creampie truly is an act of trust.

Anyways, let’s allow @honey island room to fill in the sequence of events.

GardenSkater77

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9902 on: December 18, 2020, 06:34:26 PM »

lazer69

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9903 on: December 18, 2020, 06:36:02 PM »
i creampied a married women who lived 8 houses down about 6 years ago after she knocked on my door looking for her missing parrot

Gonna need the full report, buddy.

honey island

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9904 on: December 18, 2020, 06:49:27 PM »
god damnit, i typed a huge response, and it got wiped, so gonna do a shorter version

basically this 40 year old came over looking for her parrot who she had seen land on my roof, she comes over, i invite her in, and we go stand in the backyard for a little bit looking for this bird,  we must've looked in the sky for 15 mins (i had no idea what i was looking for), she leaves.

the next day i have a note in my mail box, with her number saying if i see anything to send her a text, the next morning i send her a text saying i have not seen it, but i hope she finds it. she texts back, and we get more and more off topic, she tells me she is watching the tv show weeds, and i let her know mary-louise parker is my dream women, she asks me if i prefer older women, and i say yes, she just gets straight to the chase and says she wants to sit on my face, 10 mins later she is doing exactly that, things are going very well, until i have a mouthful of her tit, and she goes "oooooh you like sucking on mommys tits? yeah? feeding my baby milk, my baby boy, sucking on my tits, don't tell daddy, yeah you like being fed baby"?. i just went with it, that was her thing i guess, i didn't verbally confirm with her i liked it, i just kind made a muffled noise while she was 'feeding' me. we fuck twice, i creampie her because "she needs it to survive as the world is going to end tomorrow"', and i never hear from her again. sent her a couple of texts, but no response. i moved places 8 months later.

« Last Edit: December 18, 2020, 09:00:09 PM by honey island »

iKobrakai

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9905 on: December 18, 2020, 07:37:22 PM »
But she still blew your cock in exchange for some old pants...

That's disguisting.. where?

Mongoloid

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9906 on: December 19, 2020, 06:29:06 AM »
10 mins later she is doing exactly that, things are going very well, until i have a mouthful of her tit, and she goes "oooooh you like sucking on mommys tits? yeah? feeding my baby milk, my baby boy, sucking on my tits, don't tell daddy, yeah you like being fed baby"?.

That bitch is insane.

That would have had me cracking up.

lazer69

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9907 on: December 19, 2020, 01:38:41 PM »
 :o

why doesnt anything like this happen to me

BieberStance

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9908 on: December 19, 2020, 01:47:48 PM »
:o

why doesnt anything like this happen to me

you probably don't own a house with a garden

Dr-Feelgood

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9909 on: December 19, 2020, 01:49:48 PM »
god damnit, i typed a huge response, and it got wiped, so gonna do a shorter version

basically this 40 year old came over looking for her parrot who she had seen land on my roof, she comes over, i invite her in, and we go stand in the backyard for a little bit looking for this bird,  we must've looked in the sky for 15 mins (i had no idea what i was looking for), she leaves.

the next day i have a note in my mail box, with her number saying if i see anything to send her a text, the next morning i send her a text saying i have not seen it, but i hope she finds it. she texts back, and we get more and more off topic, she tells me she is watching the tv show weeds, and i let her know mary-louise parker is my dream women, she asks me if i prefer older women, and i say yes, she just gets straight to the chase and says she wants to sit on my face, 10 mins later she is doing exactly that, things are going very well, until i have a mouthful of her tit, and she goes "oooooh you like sucking on mommys tits? yeah? feeding my baby milk, my baby boy, sucking on my tits, don't tell daddy, yeah you like being fed baby"?. i just went with it, that was her thing i guess, i didn't verbally confirm with her i liked it, i just kind made a muffled noise while she was 'feeding' me. we fuck twice, i creampie her because "she needs it to survive as the world is going to end tomorrow"', and i never hear from her again. sent her a couple of texts, but no response. i moved places 8 months later.



We may not know what skateboarding is
But we sure as hell know what it aint
Wait we know what it is now too -
Falling down and gettin back up

Freelancevagrant

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9910 on: December 19, 2020, 01:51:51 PM »
I’m just gonna say it, I don’t think she had a parrot.
Well I have like 9 Andy Anderson dated flight decks.

VHS ERA

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9911 on: December 19, 2020, 05:24:51 PM »
lmao

pugmaster

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9912 on: December 19, 2020, 08:59:50 PM »
I’m just gonna say it, I don’t think she had a parrot.

100% sure it was code.  Sounded like a different version of "borrow a cup of sugar" but somewhat more sophisticated as she used that excuse to enter your domicile.  She was definitely casing the joint.

Post-covid there are going to be so many new divorcees... it is inevitable that late 2021 and 2022 is going to be a total fuck fest.  They're going to have a covid type tracker but for STDs.


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Acky Jacky

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9913 on: December 19, 2020, 09:02:29 PM »
Rant:

my roomate in the room next to mine, been coughing for 5 days straight. On Sunday tells me "oh man my allergies are acting up"  ::) .... I spend as little time at home as possible bc 1.) i like to make money 2.) he is noisy af and makes my mental state deteriorate, 3) I like being outside hiking/skating.

This guy tells me multiple time to be careful, in regards to covid. Months ago after I come home from a hike seems upset at me and says "man, theres people dying out there!". I hear him telling a friend that he invited over to our house, if someone here gets covid everybody in this house is dead. He's a "IF ONLY PEOPLE WOULD WEAR THEIR MASKS person. Guy went to a friends giving

Sure enough today says hes got the rona. I started feeling kinda shitty yesterday. After finally saying today that he got positive results, he basically says if I can afford it I should go somewhere to self quarantine (hotel). I would've willingly got a hotel room. I say "little too late for that.." Implying most likely already contracted it. Not sure he understands..  Dudes been coughing  nonstop for nearly a week, doesnt even wash his hands after using the bathroom.

 Does he really think he warned me and is being helpful now? Maybe because im not coughing like him... Hes generally unhealthy, and im the opposite..I think theres no chance I didnt get it from him at this point.


I got a robust immune system, im fit, 29, I'm not worried about myself. you know what? Im pissed rignt off! IOn the real, I am annoyed though. Guys a hypocrite, gotta listen to him cough, and multiple other loud irritating noises, (many of which are unnecessary) and now have attempt to modify my flight plans for a 2nd time or likely have to cancel & waste more money because I had plans to visits parents on the 21st of this month for a few weeks (who already recovered from the virus). I Cant work now either.

Bro I want to punch this guy through my phone. There are so many weird covid hypocrites out there like him, too. I really don’t understand it. Like people who wear their mask when there isn’t another soul around for a mile but then do strange shit like attend a party or pull down their mask to cough on the bus.

I scored very high on all my standardized testing in elementary and high school but nearly flunked out. It makes me think, if I’m in the 90th percentile for reading comprehension, are these people the ones who got straight A’s but ended up testing low on the tests?

I’m not trying to bolster myself here, just making a terrible analogy. I hope your roommate receives his due karma and I hope that you get to hug your parents soon. I hope I get to see my parents sometime in 2021 too.  :(

iKobrakai

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9914 on: December 20, 2020, 03:08:29 AM »
I got a semi reading that story... while waiting for the train...

HyenaChaser

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9915 on: December 20, 2020, 05:47:38 AM »
Time to start going around the neighborhood telling women I “found their parrot”
You know I thought these forums were a for skating not discussing fetishes

looks ok to me

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9916 on: December 29, 2020, 06:57:45 AM »
I can name everybody in ok boomers current sig including the male talent

rawr1922

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9917 on: December 29, 2020, 11:37:29 PM »
I can name everybody in ok boomers current sig including the male talent

 
Go on...

blurst_of_times

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9918 on: December 30, 2020, 08:01:28 AM »
Expand Quote
I can name everybody in ok boomers current sig including the male talent
[close]

 
Go on...
No male talent in that scene
There was no wire. Clark's planet needed him.
 Note: Clark Hassler died on the way back to his home planet.

looks ok to me

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9919 on: December 30, 2020, 10:31:34 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
I can name everybody in ok boomers current sig including the male talent
[close]

 
Go on...
[close]
No male talent in that scene
Alas a classic case of selling the bear’s skin before having killed it. I reviewed my notes and appear to have been mistaken

Now to fade into the shadows in shame

Grind King Rims

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9920 on: December 30, 2020, 12:44:41 PM »
I think crook back lips are cool. I'm willing to die on this hill.

blurst_of_times

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9921 on: December 30, 2020, 05:03:17 PM »
I think crook back lips are cool. I'm willing to die on this hill.
I like how Bastien did/does them
There was no wire. Clark's planet needed him.
 Note: Clark Hassler died on the way back to his home planet.

Billy Bitchcakes

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9922 on: January 02, 2021, 02:06:28 PM »
I know all the words to 30 thousand 100 million by J Casanova
During sex to prevent myself from ejaculating I think about Osama Bin Laden running my dick through a sewing machine.

Filip

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9923 on: January 02, 2021, 03:34:25 PM »
I know all the words to 30 thousand 100 million by J Casanova

Swag.


You are not alone my friend, I heard that shit way too many times.

DaleSr

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9924 on: January 02, 2021, 07:59:26 PM »
I grew up in the church, and to my everloving shame, when i was 17 i went on a missionary trip to bring lame American evangelical protestantism to Ireland. To my credit though, my church was putting on a skate contest at the skatepark in Cork and that was my main focus. Our youth pastor even pulled me aside to confront me about how he was worried "my heart wasn't really in it". He was right, i didn't give a fuck about telling people about Jesus, i just wanted to skate.

Grind King Rims

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9925 on: January 03, 2021, 02:31:28 AM »
I grew up in the church, and to my everloving shame, when i was 17 i went on a missionary trip to bring lame American evangelical protestantism to Ireland. To my credit though, my church was putting on a skate contest at the skatepark in Cork and that was my main focus. Our youth pastor even pulled me aside to confront me about how he was worried "my heart wasn't really in it". He was right, i didn't give a fuck about telling people about Jesus, i just wanted to skate.

Mardyke skate park rules. Bringing Evangelical Protestantism to Cork, maybe not the best raddest idea.

Hope you had a good time.

DaleSr

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9926 on: January 04, 2021, 09:39:16 AM »
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I grew up in the church, and to my everloving shame, when i was 17 i went on a missionary trip to bring lame American evangelical protestantism to Ireland. To my credit though, my church was putting on a skate contest at the skatepark in Cork and that was my main focus. Our youth pastor even pulled me aside to confront me about how he was worried "my heart wasn't really in it". He was right, i didn't give a fuck about telling people about Jesus, i just wanted to skate.
[close]

Mardyke skate park rules. Bringing Evangelical Protestantism to Cork, maybe not the best raddest idea.

Hope you had a good time.


Mardyke is a rad park, I've been daydreaming about it ever since i left. In my defense, my Christian school/church told us that the world was fucking 6,000 years old so the troubles weren't the only section of history that they skipped over

shpongle

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9927 on: January 07, 2021, 04:04:02 PM »

i love lsd and psilocybin :) it changed my life for the better. i have a job now, a girlfriend, i workout all the time now. i used to have suicidal depression before taking psychedelics to help heal myself. legalize the powerful medicines! or dont, and take them illegally! use them wisely, they are so powerful! amazing tools to transform your mind and heart



Uh Oh

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9928 on: January 08, 2021, 04:19:22 AM »

i love lsd and psilocybin :) it changed my life for the better. i have a job now, a girlfriend, i workout all the time now. i used to have suicidal depression before taking psychedelics to help heal myself. legalize the powerful medicines! or dont, and take them illegally! use them wisely, they are so powerful! amazing tools to transform your mind and heart

Username checks out. Glad you are on a better path, shpongle.

looks ok to me

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #9929 on: January 08, 2021, 06:32:09 AM »
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i love lsd and psilocybin :) it changed my life for the better. i have a job now, a girlfriend, i workout all the time now. i used to have suicidal depression before taking psychedelics to help heal myself. legalize the powerful medicines! or dont, and take them illegally! use them wisely, they are so powerful! amazing tools to transform your mind and heart
[close]

Username checks out. Glad you are on a better path, shpongle.
I urge anyone having fears/doubts about psychs to find a nice safe space and drop in. Good trusted company is cool but totally optional. No such thing as a good or bad trip, you get what you need